This is not just another book about how to attract women. That book’s been written many times. Even more, the information is all out there for free if you search for it. No, this is something different—a very specialized book—not for the beginner. This book is concerned with how to attract the very hottest women on the planet—attract them and keep them hooked on you indefinitely.
I’ve been into game—pickup, or PUA (or whatever it’s called today)—in a formal way since 2005. Even before I knew game I made a concerted effort to hit on girls in clubs and bars; it’s just I didn’t know any theory. I was shooting in the dark.
When The Game by Neil Strauss came out in the UK in 2005 it was a revelation. I’d been vaguely aware of the ‘get good with women’ information that had been circulating on the Internet before that, but the PUA scene had always seemed a little seed; a little sad to me so I hadn’t delved into it.
The Game changed everything.
A lot of guys read that book. In fact, I’d be willing to bet good money that many of the pickup gurus you follow today did. Mystery’s work, (‘Mystery’ of course being the pseudonym of the magician and early pick-up expert Erik von Markovik) and Neil Strauss’s articulation of it must be credited with changing a generation’s thinking about inter-gender dynamics.
I remember when the book first came out. It was mythical. With its tales of hitting on the likes of Paris Hilton and Britney Spears it seemed as though that book offered the silver bullet guys had always craved—a method that enabled those in the know to sleep with the highest status women in the world. That was never the case though, and it certainly wasn’t a claim the author or publisher made. But the perception was definitely out there.
Fast-forward to today; not only is there a hell of a lot more mainstream ‘pickup’ advice available, there’s also a lot more realism. Countless YouTube channels, blogs, Twitter and Instagram feeds and podcasts are dedicated to the art of the pickup. Which is absolutely brilliant if you are getting started in game. I wish the same resources had been around in the early 2000’s. But what’s particularly interesting to me is that the advice given these days is far less aspirational than before.
There’s little talk any more about ‘how to pull that perfect 10’. The conversation now centers around how to pull any woman at all . That’s, in part, a consequence of the state of the dating marketplace. It’s often said that dating is harder than it used to be, with blame generally laid at the feet of the smartphone and various apps including Tinder, Snapchat, and Instagram. Women today, we are told, are deluged with more sexual opportunities than even a decade ago. As such it’s gotten harder to make the impact or cut-through that will cause a girl to want you in the first place… much less stick around after.
As a result, most game advice—my own included— is focused on physical self-improvement (gym); mental self-improvement (affirmations, self-talk); and approaching a hell of a lot of girls in order to improve your social skills and frankly, your chances. The structure of how a pickup should be conducted hasn’t changed substantially since Mystery Method. Most coaches still recommend something similar to his original model.
Not to say there’s anything wrong with any of this. Self-improvement is essential. And the approach-attract-hook-comfort-escalate-sex model works because, well, because that is how human mating is structured. But where has the aspiration and ambition of the early days of game gone? Today on forums you read a lot of ‘I met this girl and she was a 7, but hey, I’m improving, right?’-type comments. Which, again, is great. Because let’s face it; if you’re a male 5 and you’re pulling 7’s then yes, you are doing really well.
But what about bigger game? How are we meant to seduce models, actresses, and the very hottest women in our society? Even books about pulling strippers (once very fashionable) appear to have fallen out of vogue. (And by the way, I am not holding strippers up to be some kind of paragon of femininity we should all aspire to be with. I am merely acknowledging that, physically at least, they tend to be top-notch simply because, well, if you’re being paid to take your clothes off then it’s necessary to have a great body.)
Why has the PUA industry stopped focusing on the bigger picture, which surely is not just how you pull any girl, but how you pull the crème de la crème—the real beauties—the kind you see heaving huge Gucci shopping bags down Sloane Street or Fifth Ave petting their miniscule dogs. Or the Hollywood actresses? Or pop singers? Or those weird, arty girls who seem so utterly unobtainable to the average guy?
I think in part PUAs have moved away from making huge promises about what their material can do simply because PUAs are aware that success with incredibly beautiful women is simply not attainable for every guy. And yes, I am making a similar disclaimer here.
I’m sorry, but it’s just a fact.
For one thing, every guy getting into pickup starts at a different base level. Some are very good looking, which will naturally get them more initial attention. Many are well groomed and charming, some are not. Others have a long way to go, both with the basics (grooming, clothes, personal hygiene etc.) and with their social skills. So, while one guy may just need a bit of encouragement to cold-approach, another may require a radical overhaul of his entire personality and presentation before he’s even ready to say ‘hi’ to a girl.
Another issue is mental health: Depression. If you are depressed (as I was earlier in my life) then you need to get that sorted out. Put down this book now. Phone your doctor. While pickup is great for getting you out of the house and talking to people, serious mental issues are a priority and need preeminent attention. The danger for a lot of guys is they think that just finding an attractive partner will sort their problems out for them. It won’t. Even if you do hook up with a cute girl, chances are it will only end up making things worse for you. And sooner, not later.
(Having said that, in a curious way having mental health issues is not necessarily an impediment to meeting top tier girls. More on that later.)
It is very dangerous ground, then, for a pickup company to market itself under the ‘we can help you get the sexiest girls in the world’ banner when clearly that will be out of reach for some of its customers. So, all due respect to those marketers who’ve toned down their sales pitch.
Nevertheless, the topic of hooking up with ridiculously hot girls remains of interest for obvious reasons. In the past, guys would always wonder if there was a magic formula, a special trick, or a technique that would enable them to walk up to 9’s and 10’s and pull them as though by magic. In fact, many thought that was what The Game would contain, and later RSD’s The Blueprint . But over time the claims for this method or that method became less extreme, to the point where Tom Torero has recently stated on video that it takes, on average, 30 daygame approaches to get one lay, and 50 for the beginner.
I don’t disagree with Tom’s stats. In my experience, he’s dead on. But grinding out 50 sets just to have sex with an average girl is hardly the utopia we were promised when game started to become mainstream. In the beginning, we thought there would be techniques to make this easy . But over time it has become apparent is that there is no quick fix. Now it’s all about hard work. ‘Approach every day’ ; ‘Do ten sets every time you go out’ ; ‘Persist and plough’ . And so on.
I’m playing devil’s advocate here because I also believe in hard work and persistence and stacking up the numbers and all the rest of it. It’s essential if you want to get good results.
But let’s pause for a moment and think about this more deeply. The truth of the matter is that we live in a world where some men are getting more, better quality girls than others. That’s just a fact. The ‘secrets’ of picking up girls (cocky funny, don’t supplicate, spike, lead, escalate and so on) have been out of the bag for years. All you have to do is go to YouTube or Google. You don’t have to pay a penny for a pickup book. It’s all there for free! Why hasn’t the playing field levelled out then? Why is it that certain men, whether trained in game or not, are cleaning up, while others are watching from the sidelines? There must be something that separates the winners from the losers.
It’s simple enough , the cynic might say. Women these days only go for the top 20% of men (and some say they only go for the top 10% or 5%.). If you’re not in that top 20th percentile then all the game in the world won’t get you good results.
If that’s the case then the whole concept of ‘game’ has let us down and we might as well pack up and go home. Because surely ‘game’ (and I mean that to include self-improvement as well) was meant to help men get into the top 20%? Otherwise what’s the point of it?
We need to think about the composition of that top 20%. What kinds of guys inhabit it? The rich, the muscular and the good-looking, you might say. And the famous. Particularly the famous. And yes, you’d be right. But think a little harder for a moment. There are plenty of rich guys out there. I see them when I go to clubs in London and Ibiza, sitting at their VIP tables with their bottles of Dom Pérignon, not getting a look-in from the hot girls. I have male friends who are rich, or who come from very wealthy families, who are not getting laid.
How about guys who are muscular and good-looking? Well for a start they’re ten a penny these days. Let’s face it, ‘lifting’ has become a commonplace. And a good many men are on TRT or steroids to get bigger. Plus looking good and being well-groomed is easier than before—what with so many websites and blogs for men, plus grooming products marketed directly to them. So increasingly, good-looking guy game is losing its currency in the marketplace.
To be really successful you need something else.
Fame. That’s an interesting one. Yes, at the highest level fame is pretty much a guaranteed pussy magnet. It must be hard to be Justin Bieber and not get laid. That guy must annoy his security constantly. ‘Justin, you need to step onto the private jet’ ‘Can you tell the pilot to hang on, I’m just getting laid’ . And so on.
But we also have to consider what it means to be famous these days. I have a high-traffic website and I’ve been writing about game for years. Am I famous? Justin Bieber famous? No, of course I’m not. Am I known in a niche? Yes. The same is true for many vloggers, bloggers and people who have popular Twitter or Instagram feeds (girls included). But will it help me get laid? No.
Social media has effectively democratized celebrity, and in so doing has devalued it. The pulling power of celebrity on its own has decreased. I have a couple guys following me who are real-world famous. Presumably they derive some value from my content, otherwise why would they follow? I am also aware of pick-up coaches who have trained celebrities. If fame were enough then why would these men need to look to coaches for help?
And of course, let’s not forget the corollary to all of this. There are plenty of non-famous, non-muscular, facially-unattractive men who are banging hot girls. Haven’t you noticed? I get out a lot. I try to hit as many diverse social scenes as I can. I see it all the time. The ugly, older dude with the hot young chick. Yes, maybe he’s rich. Yes, maybe he has status. But there are plenty of old, ugly, rich guys. So why him ? Why has that particular dude hit the jackpot and not someone else? How come Jimmy Page has an attractive 26-year-old girlfriend when other nigh-geriatric rock stars don’t?
There must be something that separates the successful player from the unsuccessful. Otherwise every guy would work hard to get rich or jacked, knowing this would guarantee them pussy. If we could only identify that special something that the most successful players have that the others lack then we will be onto something. We will be that little bit closer to discovering the silver bullet that men have been searching for since pickup became popular.
I have been thinking deeply about this topic over the last year or so. I’ve also been reading a lot. I’ve explored further in my writing at realtroyfrancis.com. I’ve come to the conclusion that yes, there is a silver bullet. There is an answer. There is a ‘secret’. There is a set of personality traits and behaviors that will get you the very hottest girls.
But now for the caveats. I make no guarantees. Don’t sue me. And this is not a beginner’s guide. In fact, this is not a guide to pick-up at all. If you want to learn the basics then get hold of a copy of The 7 Laws of Seduction and read that first. I am assuming that anyone reading this is experienced in Game and has had decent success in the past. The book is pitched at guys who are intermediates, upper-echelon, and beyond.
It should go without saying— but I’ll say it anyway— that you need to have all your basics taken care of. Hygiene, grooming, clothes, gym, all that stuff. I’m not going to spend any more time talking about that here as there are plenty of other resources available. Suffice it to say, if you haven’t sorted that stuff then you are actively wrecking your chances with women . So be sensible and take the necessary steps.
I make no guarantees because guys are coming at this at different levels and some may simply not be able to make a success of it. Also, as I’ve stated, this is a book about mindset rather than technique. What I’m aiming to do here is to instill in you the mindset of the man who absolutely kills it with the hottest girls. But you need ingenuity, persistence, access and luck. The right mindset alone will get you far, but it won’t, in and of itself, get you over the finish line.
The other consideration—and it’s a big one— is your ability or inclination to actually take on these principles and make them work for you. Because what you need to understand upfront is that what I’m going to teach you in this book is not feel-good. These aren’t techniques about how to be a really nice guy and meet the woman of your dreams. No, these are cold-blooded tactics that may seem unpleasant, or even unethical, but will nevertheless make you into the kind of guy that women crave.
Whenever I write about game or intergender dynamics I always strive to keep morality and ethics out of it. Not because I am an amoral person myself or not a ‘nice guy’, but because the mating game itself is amoral. As I’ve said many times before, human beings are animals. Now we have fancy haircuts and Apple Watches and electric cars and all that crap, but underneath it all we are animals and the animal kingdom is cruel and vicious. Watch any Nature program. While not nice to contemplate; it is truth.
There is a lot of amorality in the game of love and attraction. Both men and women perpetuate it. Infidelities happen. Broken promises. Some girl will tell you she’ll love you forever only to fuck your best friend a month later. Do these things mean that human beings are terrible, evil creatures? No. I don’t think so.
To be more precise, I don’t choose to ascribe any label at all to human behavior. It just is what it is. We may not like the ways people behave (ourselves included) but there is no point in getting wound up about it. However much we might want things to be different we simply don’t have the power to change others. The church, the law, and the courts have been trying to do that for centuries. Yet terrible crimes are still committed every day. And so it goes.
Rather than go against the grain of human nature as it really is, my advice is: Always work with what’s in front of you. Adapt yourself accordingly. From an ethical perspective though, the one thing I would say is this: I will always strive to ‘keep my side of the street clean’. I will not go out of my way to harm anyone, and if I do so inadvertently I will try to make amends as soon as I can. I do my thing. I let others do theirs. Beyond that, though, I am a realist. I would rather understand the game as it is actually being played by others and then beat them that way rather than lose out through naivety. Full disclosure though: if I am being treated unfairly by someone, or if I believe that things are rigged against me then I have no compunction against using whatever tactics are necessary to achieve my desired ends.
The challenge with Game—as it is in business, and all other areas of life—is to balance doing what is effective with being a good person. This is a topic that has preoccupied me for some time that I will no doubt say more on in the future. Suffice it to say though that I believe it can be done. I think it’s possible—desirable even—to maintain a pure core while using the same incendiary tools of battle that other, less scrupulous, people are already using. I digress somewhat, but it’s an important digression that serves as a useful prelude to what is to come. Because if you want to pull the world’s hottest women, and you want a formula for doing so—a magic silver bullet—then here it is:
DARK TETRAD CHARACTERISTICS + RADICAL DIFFERENTIATION = IRRESISTIBLE TO THE HOTTEST WOMEN
These are the fundamental pieces you need to have in place to get sex with top-level girls. And more than just sex, if you can implement these elements effectively then pretty soon you will have beautiful women obsessed with you.
If it were possible to implement these perfectly (and it isn’t—no-one can do that, for reasons that will become clear) then you would get laid like a rock star without actually being a rock star. It is little wonder that the same equation (Dark Tetrad + Radical Differentiation) could also be a prescription for how to achieve fame. I am good friends with a very famous singer in the UK, and I would say he has the equation down, as do most other famous people I’ve met.
Let’s delve into what this means. If you are not aware of the so-called Dark Tetrad characteristics, then strap yourself in because this is going to be our major preoccupation for a significant portion of this book.
The Dark Tetrad is a theoretical personality model comprising four distinct, but interrelated elements. I discuss each in turn: Narcissism, Machiavellianism, Psychopathy and Sadism.
Clearly, each of these carries negative associations. However, none are necessarily bad or good in their own right (sadism being the sole arguable exception). You may not like this bit: they are very effective. Those with tetrad characteristics tend to do better in the corporate world, in business, and with women. (Make footnote: for more on this read Office Politics by the psychologist Oliver James).
This is not how we would like things to be. We don’t like to think of the ‘bad guy’ winning. That goes against all of our societal programming. We are taught the opposite. We are taught that through patience, tolerance, kindness and persistence the good guy wins in the end.
While I’m not saying that ‘good guys’ never do well, those with ‘bad guy’ traits (dark tetrad) tend to take the lead for many reasons; not least because they feel no guilt whatsoever after fucking over whomever.
The first dark tetrad characteristic is narcissism. Let’s face it, if you know anything at all about game you will know that women love men who think highly of themselves. In fact, irrational self-confidence is one of the greatest qualities a man can have. If you think you’re God’s gift and project that most people are going to think there’s something behind it. Gullibility is human.
Machiavellianism is the second dark tetrad characteristic. Machiavelli was a famous Italian courtier. His book, The Prince , is not only a staple beach read for every asshole CEO everywhere, it was also the inspiration for Robert Greene’s 48 Laws of Power . If you have not read The Prince, you should—it’s a short, deeply interesting book. In it Machiavelli offers his employer, the titular prince, advice on how best to rule and to hold onto power. The advice, which is all based on historical examples, is sage but ruthless. Kill rather than be killed. If you take over a principality by force then kill the families of all the lords who reside there in order to avoid future uprisings. It’s better to appear good but sometimes you will be forced to do bad things. And so on. Machiavelli has since become synonymous with any form of strategic planning, and carries a slightly negative connotation on account of the ruthlessness his book appears to advocate. When you think about it though, all players are by nature Machiavellian. They think four or five steps ahead after deciding they’re going to have sex with the girl, and they are prepared to immobilize or kill (metaphorically speaking in today’s world) her other suitors.
Psychopathy. When we speak of a psychopath our minds naturally run to Hannibal Lector, Norman Bates, Patrick Bateman, or some similar character. A psychopath, in the popular imagination, is Eminem fired up on Vicodin carrying a chainsaw. I think it more useful, though, to imagine psychopathy as total lack of empathy. We find more than passing familiarity here. Imagine if you truly didn’t give a shit what anyone else thought of you—hot girls included. Think how many you would approach. You wouldn’t give a damn whether they rejected you.
The best seducers I’ve met in my life (naturals rather than people into game) have tended to have this somewhat distant, withdrawn, cold element to their natures.
Sadism. Many people who have written about game in relation to these characteristics before have only talked about a dark “triad”— Machiavellianism, Narcissim, and Psychopathy. If you’re dark triad and also have your shit together you are most likely getting a lot of pussy. However, those overly focused on the triad miss an entire fourth of the equation. The winning formula includes sadism, since it is also (and I hate to say this, nice guy readers) a highly desirable characteristic for some women; the really hot ones in particular.
Sadism has been defined as “the tendency to derive pleasure, especially sexual gratification, from inflicting pain, suffering, or humiliation on others.”
I separate it from psychopathy this way: if you are a psychopath you don’t give a shit how your actions will affect others, good or bad. If you’re a sadist, you actively want to hurt others.
If you don’t believe women find sadism sexy, I have four words for you: Fifty. Shades. Of. Grey.
The question, then, is whether a regular guy can learn to imbue himself with some of the characteristics of the dark tetrad and use it to improve his sexual (and business) lives. I believe that he absolutely can. That is what the rest of this book is about—how you can inculcate similar traits in yourself, even if they are not inherent to your personality—to attract and ultimately have sex with the hottest women.
There is more to it. Plenty of nutters out there are narcissistic, Machiavellian, psychopathic and borderline sadistic. Many of them are in mental homes or living under bridges drinking gut rot. They are not going around pimping it and having sex with Kendall Jenner and Taylor Swift. No. In order to be really successful (apart from having your shit together as discussed) you also need the other part of the equation, which is radical differentiation .
Radical differentiation is such an important concept that I dedicate a good chunk of the book to it. In a nutshell, though, radical differentiation means that you need to radically, systematically, and defiantly set yourself apart from other men in as many ways as you can. The way you dress, the way you walk, the things you talk about, the things you do—these should all make you stand out. Perhaps most importantly, the way you think should be radically different from other men. If you also have (or are working on) dark tetrad traits then you’ll be a lock.
Fundamentally then, this book is about inner game. I don’t go into any chat-up techniques or pulling advice. As I said prior, go to 7 Laws of Seduction if you want those. Here my interest is really in helping you develop the mindsets, and the killer instinct that you need to sleep with the hottest girls.
A warning, though. This is not a feel-good book and it isn’t for dilettantes. It is full of straight-up insights and advice drawn from my own experience and from that of others I know personally or have studied. It is not for the faint-hearted and some may find it unpalatable, since as the title suggests it is a book that will teach you how to be an asshole in order to have sex with beautiful women. Whether you follow the advice to the letter or just take on what works for you is your decision. But realize that those who adopt these characteristics fully will be most successful. Such is the dating marketplace. Be warned too that employing these techniques may well lose you lays with those more ‘homely’ women who perhaps can’t handle them, or those who genuinely do want a nice, beta husband to look after her (for now). But if you want to get on the yacht with Dan Bilzerian and fuck those pneumatic party girls and models, then whether you’re in London, Moscow, New York, Vegas or Ibiza this is where it’s at.
Let’s face it, we’re told all the time that women like ‘bad guys’ over nice guys. But when are we ever told precisely what makes a ‘bad guy’? The book you’re holding now fills that gap. I analyze and detail precisely what is required to be the bad boy that women love.
Fuck mediocrity, fuck going halfway. Half measures avail us nothing. We stand at the turning point. Are you going to continue to accept second best, or are you going to use learned principles in a controlled way to get what you want in life? This book lays out everything you need to know about the mindset required to sleep with incredibly beautiful women. What you do with this information, ultimately is up to you.
In the following chapters I’m going to discuss each of the four dark tetrad characteristics in detail, give you some examples of people who have them, tell you why they are attractive to girls (particularly hot girls) and then advise you on how you can develop each for yourself if you don’t already have it.
One thing I should say about the Dark Tetrad before we get proceed is that if you’re going to go for this then you really need to go all in . Dark Tetrad is not an a la carté menu. You can’t pick and choose—or rather you can, but the sweet spot is when the player has all elements of the dark tetrad in concert, along with radical differentiation.
If someone is merely narcissistic then they are not Dark Tetrad, they are a narcissist. That in itself may help them to attract a few girls, even hot girls, but it isn’t the ultimate lady-killing, knicker-drenching asshole persona that this book recommends.
I would encourage you to read through the chapters in sequence, therefore, always thinking about how you can take on all of the characteristics to some degree, even those that may initially seem unacceptable to you.
To start off, here’s a dictionary definition of narcissism: ‘Excessive interest in or admiration of oneself and one’s physical appearance. Extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one’s own talents and a craving for admiration, as characterizing a personality type.’