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The enormous amount of extra blood in my system was making my head pulse with every heartbeat, and every pulse brought random information about the town around me. People were fighting, loving, eating, and walking their dogs. It was hard to focus on getting packed, but every time I stopped moving, Knight would toss something at my face to wake me up again.
Thanks to Sara, Excalibur had been sitting in her garage this entire time. We loaded it up with our bags and Knight drove us out of town. We didn’t talk much. It had been a very long seven weeks. The longest of our lives. I couldn’t help but wonder if we’d ever recover from it all. I didn’t have high hopes on the matter.
The further we got from the town, the less people I could feel until I could only feel Knight. He was tired. Sad. Angry. Hungry. And relieved. So relieved that we’d gotten away. But he was scared. Scared for me and how I would come out of this. I tried not to delve into anything related to me in his feelings, as curious as I was. I’d already violated too many boundaries.
“Hey,” I told him drowsily, my sleepy state keeping me from blocking out my powers. “In the interest of full disclosure, I can still feel your emotions. But don’t worry. I’m not going to invade your privacy. All your secret thoughts are safe. But don’t focus on them too strongly or I’ll feel them.”
He nodded and smiled slightly. “Good to know.” I leaned against my window and shut my eyes. “Lis,” he whispered. “Thank you for telling me that.”
“Least I could do,” I mumbled. “Since I’m such a horrible person now.” I drifted off to the rhythmic thumping of Knight’s heartbeat. I slept until Knight pulled into a motel and got us a room, with two beds this time.
The room smelled like air conditioner and carpet fibers. I shuffled over to the bed closest to the bathroom and flopped down on my stomach with my cheek pressed against the scratchy comforter. My head was pounding and my stomach was rolling. My body was used to having several pints of new blood every day, and it was not pleased that I hadn’t drunk since the night before.
Knight sat down on the other bed and studied me carefully. “Withdrawal?” he asked. I nodded. I felt horrible.
“I’ve wanted to die several times recently,” I groaned. “But right now...I really, really want to.”
“Tomorrow will be worse,” he said, not even trying to sugar coat it. I glared at him. Whatever else I could say about him, he never babied me.
I finally fell asleep after sharing a pizza with Knight. I drifted straight into nightmares. My dreams took me back to James’s town, forcing me to relive the pain and agony I’d felt under his control. I woke up sweaty and shaking. My hand automatically went to where James’s bite had been. I got up and went to the large mirror on the closet door. The bite was still gone, with only a light red mark to indicate it had ever been there.
It was the only scar I had that was visible.
I was still running my fingers over the scar and wondering how my life had come to this moment when I smelled lilacs. Balthazar was behind me when I looked up and I turned to fall into his arms.
“Where have you been, you jerk!” I sobbed into his dark blue suit. His hands came around me and he hugged me close.
“My apologies,” he said softly. “I couldn’t help you, and I thought my presence might distress you even more.” He was right. I couldn’t bear the thought of him seeing me drunk on blood and power.
I softly pounded my fists on his chest and whispered, “jerk,” for good measure. He kissed the top of my head.
“You’ve still got the dog, I see,” he said with disapproval.
I smiled. “He came back for me. He stayed with me and helped me escape.”
“He’s a dog. He shouldn’t want to be within ten feet of you.” Balthazar let me go and turned to study the sleeping werewolf. “Does he have feelings for you?”
I couldn’t comprehend such a question. That was ludicrous. “Of course not. Don’t be stupid.” I put a hand to my temple as my headache suddenly became apparent.
“Boys fall for girls,” Balthazar said simply like it was a no-brainer.
“You’re ridiculous.” I poured myself a glass of water and gulped most of it down.
“Your blood count is high. You could see his feelings for you. Easily.”
“You can tell?” Balthazar nodded. “No, I won’t do that. He knows I can delve into his mind, and I promised him I wouldn’t.” That made me smile. Not the promise part, the fact that I hadn’t lost my clarity, even though my body was raging with powers. Balthazar made a humph noise and stared at Knight again.
“I can see his feelings,” he declared. “Would you like to know?”
I won’t lie. I was tempted. Knight was asleep, and he’d never know. But I was done with acting like that. Never again.
I shook my head. “No. I promised him that his secrets were safe. And anyway, it doesn’t matter. He’s a werewolf.” I was making excuses. Feeble ones, at that. But there were still lines I wasn’t willing to cross. And not all of them had to do with reading Knight’s mind.
Knight was right. I did feel a hundred times worse the next day. I lifted my head from my pillow, every movement causing complete agony. My lips groaned before I could stop them.
“That bad, huh?” Knight commented from behind me. I sat up and blinked a few times. My head hurt so badly, it was hard to make them focus on anything. I could barely see Knight across the room. He was sitting at the little table by the window eating breakfast. He’d kept the lights off and shut the curtains, which I greatly appreciated. I couldn’t handle bright light right now. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, planted my feet on the carpet, and stood up. My legs instantly gave way underneath me. “Hey, life alert, stop playing around.” I pulled myself up and forced my legs to support my weight. They wobbled a few times but I managed to get to the other chair at the table before they gave out again. “You okay?” I nodded. Sitting on the table was a plastic box with croissants and some pudding cups. I looked at it and up at Knight. He grinned and shrugged. “I can’t make custard croissants. This is the next best thing.” He served me up an opened pudding cup and a croissant on a paper plate, before breaking off a piece of croissant and dipping it in the pudding. “Here, try.” I felt my lip tremble. He’d really tried to make going through this a little bit easier by making his own version of my favorite food. I didn’t deserve his friendship. He suddenly pointed a finger in my face to distract me. “No. No tears. Eat the pastry.”
I reached out to take the small bite of food. My hands shook and I couldn’t keep it in my grip. It fell into my lap, smearing my shirt with pudding. “Sorry,” I apologized softly. He clicked his tongue, broke off another bit, dipped it, and held it up to my mouth. “Now you’re feeding me?” He ignored my protest and shoved the bite in while I was talking.
It was good.
“Is that French vanilla?” I asked with the pastry in my mouth. He nodded and broke off another bite. The second bite made my head pound as my senses tried to inform me how amazing it smelled. I lost control for a few seconds, but that was all my powers needed. I could see, hear, smell, and taste everything nearby. There were four other humans in hotel rooms and two in the office. One was walking outside with a cart that smelled like cleaning products. Her breath smelled like chocolate.
“Hey,” Knight said gently. He took my head in his hands and kissed my forehead. “Focus, okay?” I grounded myself with the scent of his hair. His shampoo smelled like cinnamon. I took a deep breath and regained control.
I looked up at him feebly as he ran a hand through my hair. “Why are you still here?” I expected...well, I wasn’t sure what I expected. The bracelet promise, maybe. Because we’re friends. He doesn’t have anywhere else to go. I have money and he doesn’t.
But that wasn’t what he answered. He stared into my eyes and said, “Where else would I be?”
SO. KNIGHT AND I HAD to make a new plan now. Something long term. And something that involved both of us. I knew there was nowhere I could go, anywhere on the globe, that would stop the Hunters from finding me. I’d be on the run forever. But, with Knight at my side, it wouldn’t be so bad.
Our first pit-stop was going back to Jesse’s pack. He’d called us during my detox and said he could get us a car that couldn’t be tracked by the Hunters. He sounded as if there was more besides the car for his reason to call us, but he didn’t elaborate.
A week of detox, which did involve some throwing up, had mostly gotten me back to normal power levels. The pain and shakes had subsided, and I was back to needing Knight’s blood every morning, which he provided without complaint or fear. I felt strong again, and absolutely in control over my powers.
I still had nightmares about James. Being around too many people scared me now. I was so afraid he’d be around the corner, ready to bite me again and steal my freedom. Knight said I had PTSD, a human disorder. I told him I wasn’t human.
Still, I stayed in the hotel room while he packed Excalibur up with our bags. I came outside after carefully pushing out my senses and making sure no one else was nearby. It was safe.
Knight drove, even though he was practically bent in half in my tiny car. I would miss my Excalibur, but I would gladly sacrifice it to keep us safe.
Jesse’s pack lived in a trailer park on the edge of a forest. Perfect for Lycans to run all they wanted. We pulled up in their non-paved road. All the trailers were parked in a large semi-circle, leaving a big clearing for all the Lycans to gather in. They had grills, picnic tables, a basketball hoop, and still had enough room to spare.
The pups were wrestling in the open space around the trailers, desperate to work off their raging hormones and prove themselves. Rather than stopping it, the adults were egging them on while cooking something on a grill for lunch.
I waited to get out of the car after Knight was out and near my door. There were so many people here. I hated how scared I was. When I stepped out onto the trodden grass, Knight reached for me the same moment I brought a hand up to clutch his arm.
“We'll leave soon,” he promised, rubbing my shoulder. I tried to focus only on the smell of the barbecued meat. It was mouthwatering.
Jesse's trailer was at the head of the area. It was decorated with Halloween decorations and a large red flag with a paw print on it. His mate sat on the small wooden front porch snapping green beans. I could sense him inside the trailer.
“Hey Toni,” Knight said to the Alpha female. “Jesse here?” I whispered, “He's inside” at the exact moment she said it out loud.
Jesse came out, hearing us, and smiled a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. “Knight.” He glanced at me and the smile faded when he saw Knight's arm around me. “You're here for the car?” Knight nodded. “It’s waiting for you, but you don’t have to rush off. Stay for lunch.”
“We appreciate the offer, but we have to get going,” Knight told him. Jesse gestured to Toni, who understood his wordless cue and stood up and went inside to rummage through the fridge for something before she came back with a foil package. She tossed a small object to Knight and he caught it without looking. Car keys. She pitched the foil to me, but I flinched and cowered behind Knight, so he caught it and handed it to me. It smelled like brisket.
He threw her the keys to Excalibur and motioned to my tiny car. “You can keep it.” Considering she, and most of their pack, drove motorcycles, I wasn't sure if she'd like my little economy car. They’d probably sell it. Or Balthazar would steal it again.
“She okay?” Jesse asked, showing genuine concern for the way I was behaving. I was a powerful vampire and I was hiding behind a werewolf. I really had to get this under control. I took a deep breath and stepped away from Knight.
“I’m good,” I said. And I knew I would be. Eventually.
“Sorry you can't stay,” Jesse said. He meant it, but I could feel something off with him. Knight stiffened, feeling it too, and quickly said his farewells before leading me to the car they’d gotten for us. It was a teal convertible. Knight didn’t even pause before dumping our bags into it. As scared as I still was despite trying not to be, I was still able to turn my nose up at the color.
“Teal?” I commented when we'd driven away. “Couldn't have picked something nicer like seafoam?”
“He didn't consult a color expert, I guess,” Knight teased, but then he sobered, his fingers gripping the steering wheel firmly. “That was weird. He offered for us to stay but... I could sense he was just being polite about it.”
I wanted to mention that they probably didn't like seeing a werewolf holding hands with a vampire, but my eyes went to the glove compartment. Someone had added a little sticker of a vampire smiley face right next to the press handle. Why would Jesse put that there? Maybe it had been there when they bought it? I opened the compartment and found a letter on top of some maps.
It was addressed to me.
I shut the door quickly and leaned back against my seat before Knight could notice what I was doing. Instead, he poked the foil package in my lap.
“That smells good. They were nice to give it to us.”
“I made her do it. I reached inside and I said, brisket, woman!” He knew I couldn’t do that anymore, so I hoped he knew I was trying to be funny.
He snorted and poked me in the side. “Let me have some and I'll let it pass.”
“You are mistaken. She gave this to me. Not you. Find your own brisket.”
“Hey, I gave you my lifeblood. I am entitled. Now give.” He tried to swipe it from me, so we played keep away until I decided to open it before could he tear the foil and get brisket everywhere.
