| |
Our escort showed us back to the entrance of the reservation. Arthur had been silent the entire time and finally spoke when the Lycans had disappeared from view.
“It’s too dangerous for you to be a pack envoy,” Arthur chastised. Did Arthur care about me? “It would be an unnecessary risk and we can’t lose more Council members.” Nope. Same old Arthur.
“I didn’t ask your opinion,” I informed him.
He looked at Knight, expecting some type of comradery involving my safety. “What about you? I’m sure you’re not comfortable with her doing this, being her lover and all.”
My eyes widened, and I imagined all the ways I could murder him right then and there.
Knight’s response was snickering before he said, “As if I can tell her what to do. Lisbeth always does whatever she wants, and trust me, she can protect herself.”
“This was my idea,” I interjected, my cheeks reddening with Knight’s compliment. “If I don’t show our people it’s safe to do this, then what kind of example am I setting? They’re already reluctant enough. This could be the tipping point, seeing one from the Council going abroad for negotiations.”
Arthur chewed on that idea and then his eyebrows slowly rose in surprise. “That’s... sound logic.”
“Glad you think so.” I stepped onto the pavement of the road and started on my way back to the castle Order. With Knight at my side, and Arthur flanking me, we made it to the gates of our home.
Knight motioned for Arthur to go inside the gate first. “Could you give us a minute?” he asked the Hunter. Arthur glanced at me for approval and went inside after I nodded at him.
Me alone with Knight. For the second time today. Me and Knight. Alone. Us. Alone.
“Lis,” he said, knocking me out of my brain freeze. “Why are you going to Europe? You’re not exactly a fan of traveling. Plus you just had a baby.” My heart fluttered painfully when I met Knight’s eyes, but I still smiled at the memory of my little Kitty waiting for me in my rooms. Knight smiled back, thinking I was smiling at him. He took a step forward. “I’ll protect you, no matter where we go.”
I took a step back and watched the glow in his face slowly fade. “I didn’t want to bring you. I had to.” I left him before I could see him look sad. I couldn’t bear to see him look sad.
When I got to my room, I found Olivier bouncing little Kitty on her shoulder. My daughter was cooing and had one fang stuck into the blanket on Olivier’s shoulder. She saw me and hiccupped with a smile.
“Miracle thing, receiving blankets. She kept trying to stick her fangs into me,” Olivier said with a smirk as she carefully handed Kitty to me. Kitty cooed again and flopped onto my chest before taking a bite from my shoulder. “I’m not even sure she’s trying to feed. She thinks we’re pacifiers.” Olivier flicked Kitty’s ear playfully and left the room. I kissed Kitty’s black curly head. She looked up, her mouth curled around my collarbone, and smiled at me. My heart warmed up again.
“Mommy might have to go away for a few days,” I told her. I was quite aware that babies had no language comprehension, but I hoped vampire babies were different. And anyway, it felt good to talk to someone. Kitty went back to gnawing on me, but she reached a hand up to my neck as if trying to comfort me. “Mommy loves you, but I need to find out what you are. Besides adorable, that is.” Her little fist curled around my neck even more. “I can’t take you with me, little one. It’s too dangerous where Mommy is going. Olivier and Arthur will keep you safe and fed.” I held her close, as tightly as I could. “When you start to miss me, just remember my face. Your memory is like mommy’s, right? Picture me and the memories will come. And mommy will do the same.”
A SOFT KNOCK AT THE door brought me up from my paperwork a few days later. Arthur walked in with Knight close behind. He had his old duffle bag slung over his shoulder and a mischievous grin on his face.
I raised an eyebrow at him and stacked my papers up. “Excited?”
“A bit,” he admitted. “I’ve never been outside the continent before.”
“How can you live over one hundred years and not leave the continent?” Arthur asked in disbelief.
Knight shrugged and grinned again. “Being a werewolf doesn’t pay very much.”
I stood up and grabbed the envelope that had been left on my desk. I came around while tearing it open and removed the contents: two brand new passports and ID cards. “Passport and I.D,” I told him. I handed Knight his and slid mine into my pocket.
“Kyle,” Knight read off his passport. He glanced up at me with a raised eyebrow. “Kyle?”
I rolled my eyes. “I didn’t choose it. Mine is Jasmine. Do I look like a Jasmine?”
He folded it into his pocket and muttered, “Good thing that’s not my real name. Then again, neither is Knight.”
“You... your real name isn’t Knight??” I gasped with genuine surprise. Was it Sam? Jerry? Oh please, no, not Jerry.
“Plot twist!” he sang. He was still grinning like a fool when I handed him the rest of the envelope contents: one of two stacks of money. His stack had twenty thousand. Mine had more. His grin went slack with awe. “Well. It seems being a werewolf does pay well. What’s it for? Greasing fingers? Are we bribing people?” He got quiet and whispered, “Is there a vampire mafia?” I rolled my eyes at him again and retrieved the suitcase I’d hidden behind my desk. It was very high end and expensive, and Knight’s smile fell when he saw it. He looked up at me and then looked away.
“Arthur, guard my daughter with your life. I don’t have to tell you what I’ll do to you if I come back and she’s been harmed in any way,” I warned. Instead of complaining, he bowed his head to me with complete respect. Good boy.
Suitcase and duffle in hand, we made our way to the foyer where a small crowd was waiting. Since when did flying to Europe earn a sendoff? I wasn’t going off to war. Or was I....
Olivier held Kitty to her chest, and I noticed she’d given my little one a plastic chew toy to bite on. I walked to them and gave Kitty a kiss on her curly head. It broke my soul to leave her, but I had to do this. I had to know what my daughter would become. Still, staring into her crystal blue and violet eyes I couldn’t believe she would become a monster like Anastasia Bathory, but if she had any chance at the vampires accepting her, I had to be sure.
I took her from Olivier and hugged my tiny jewel as tightly as I could. Mommy will not forsake you, little one. She will fight for you with her last breath.
With a deep sigh to stave off the tears threatening to overcome me, I kissed Kitty’s head again and handed her back to Olivier. Arthur took his place beside her and nodded to me again. There was no one else on earth or in the deepest corners of the universe I’d trust my daughter with than those two.
I cleared my throat and took a step back. “I’ll be gone for several days. At most a week. James is the oldest vampire in my Order, but he has deferred his seniority in favor of Olivier. She will temporarily take my seat on the Council and handle any requests you might need.” Kitty waved her chew toy and it rattled softly. I smiled. “The turned will not overthrow us, this I can promise you. Please continue the peace talks with the remaining Lycans and assist them in any way you can. Only together can we save our species.” With a nod, I headed out the front door.
Castilla stood outside in the garden, and she reached a hand out to me when I passed her. She leaned in close and spoke in my ear. “Your mission is dangerous, and you will not find the answers you seek.” I pulled away in surprise. Who had told her my mission? I had sworn James to secrecy, on pain of death, and I knew well enough how much he valued his own life to know he would never betray me.
“I can handle the Lycans,” I whispered back to her.
“It is not the Lycans you are going to see,” she countered. “This will not help the child.” She tried to grab me again, so I stepped further away. She looked haunted and flushed, more so than she had at the meeting. Was she... no. She couldn’t be binging. I reached out, and felt her power above normal levels, but not enough where anyone would notice. Still enough to be against the rules. Her face dropped when she realized I knew, and she stiffened with a haughty sniff that was nothing like the Castilla I knew. “I will not apologize for my habits. I need the sight to see if our people can be saved.”
I reached for her arm this time and roughly brought her to my eye level. “You will cease this immediately, and when I return, your blood levels will remain at legal levels, or your seat on the Council will be forfeit.” I let her go with a small shove and left her behind to stand in the icy shadows of the castle.
Knight was waiting at the car with his arm leaning on my car’s roof. “Everything cool?” he asked, watching me pass him to put my suitcase in the trunk.
“Sure.”
He looked back at Castilla who was still watching us from the shadows. “She’s blood binging,” he said quietly. Of course he could tell. He had a front row seat to my binging, so he knew better than most what it looked like. I didn’t need to answer him, but I gave him a knowing look.
“Time to go.”
“RIGHT THIS WAY, MISS Heart,” the airport security officer said as he escorted us past customs and straight through the bag checks.
“Miss Heart,” I complained under my breath. “Jasmine Heart. I sound like a soap opera star. The legal team is so fired.”
“At least your name isn’t Kyle Vanderbilt. Seriously. Vanderbilt. Do I look like a rich white guy?”
“Please. The Vanderbilts wish they were as rich as vampires are.”
“Then why aren’t we flying in a private jet? You vampires and your castles, and your fancy luggage, and your lack of private jets. I’m so disappointed in you.” He shook his head with a silly expression. I knew he was joking, but something about his whining was raising my hackles.
“We do have private jets, thank you. But it’s not safe to use them because the turned know how to find where they are.”
Knight grumbled under his breath. “Stupid turned making me fly first class with a bunch of smelly humans.”
“I’m sure you can survive twelve hours’ worth of sweat stank. And quietly too.” That had much more salt than I’d intended, but I couldn’t take it back. I pressed my lips together and stepped into the plane. Knight was quiet as we found our seats, put our luggage in the compartments, and sat down facing one another. God. I could add being rude to him on my list of all the things I’d done to make Knight hate me. My lips opened and closed several times with an apology trying to surface. I couldn’t apologize to him. He’d try to be friends and I couldn’t be friends. I couldn’t be anything to him. We’d work together, and then we’d part ways forever.
Why in the name of all that is holy was Knight the only creature on the planet that could help me with my mission?
The universe was being unnaturally cruel.
“Juice?” A stewardess had appeared next to us with a tray of drinks in very expensive wine glasses. I grabbed some orange juice and chugged several gulps of it. Knight took one with grape juice. He held it tenderly by the stem and swirled the purple liquid around with elegance before taking a refined sip.
“So,” he said, putting the wine glass down on his armrest and folding his hands in his lap. “Why are we going to Europe?” I had to tell him eventually, but it was too soon. We had to be out of the country first, just to be safe.
I raised an eyebrow at his probing. “You were literally standing next to me when I said why. Lycan negotiations? The turned? War? Ringing a bell?”
He tilted his head. “I know why you said we’re going to Europe. What I don’t know is the real reason.” I tried not to stare too hard at him while retaining eye contact so he wouldn’t call my bluff. He blinked, looked away, and leaned back into his chair. I sipped more of my drink, wishing it was wine. “You can trust me, Lis. Whatever it is. And the fact that I have to say that to you...” He shook his head and tapped a fingernail against the bottom of his glass. “I thought we were closer than this.”
My lip trembled when I formed my next words, and my heart pulsed with pain. “We aren’t.” I felt him shift his weight in his chair and I couldn’t look at him.
His hand shook when he picked up his glass. “Okay then.”
It took all my willpower to not cry. I shoved headphones in my ears and put my favorite playlist on repeat to block all the feelings rushing over me. Knight shifted in his chair to lean his head against the top of it. He sighed deeply and said something I couldn’t hear with my headphones on, but I could read his lips.
“This is going to be a very long flight.”
On that, we were in agreement.
With the same songs playing over and over, I drifted in and out of sleep. I dreamed of a house. It was old, battered from years of neglect, but it felt like home. In all my long years, it was a house I’d never seen before. Why did it feel so familiar?
I walked through the rooms, each one holding remnants of the people that used to live there. Some pots, a tattered sewing kit, a baby bonnet. I picked up the white cloth and traced the delicate stitching with my fingers. Kitty came to my mind, but I couldn’t see her.
The steps outside barely held my weight, the tells of time making them unstable. Where was Kitty? I could feel her here. I had to find her.
Kitty? Kitty where are you? I called out to the empty field in front of the house. A dark shape drew my gaze and I ran to it. My stomach plummeted in fear before I reached the figure. It was suddenly before me, a corpse I couldn’t identify like their face was clouded from me. A small girl hovered over the corpse’s side. She looked up at me, her face and neck sticky with blood. Her smile turned my heart cold because this girl was my Kitty.
She stood to show her blood-stained frock. “Look, Mommy. I killed them for you. Now you don’t have to be sad.”
The corpse’s face wasn’t cloudy anymore when I looked at it. Cameron’s ashen face stared back at me, lifeless in death. I recoiled in horror, only to trip over another body. This one was Olivier. The more I looked around, the more bodies I saw. Every vampire I knew was a rotting corpse.
The girl Kitty came up to me and reached out a bloodied hand. “Are you proud of me, Mommy?”
Corpses. Faces. Carnage. All the things I feared. My daughter was a monster. Make it go away. It’s not real. This can’t be real.
I woke with a bloodcurdling scream, back on the airplane with music blaring in my ears. Knight was right there, ripping my headphones off and putting his hands on my shoulders to keep me in my seat. It was just a dream. It wasn’t real. It couldn’t be real. Was it real? Oh gods it can’t be real.
“It was just a dream, it was just a dream,” I repeated to myself in a mantra to rid myself of the images.
“Is everything okay?” a stewardess said in a worried voice. I couldn’t process her words. It was just a dream. Just a dream.
“We’re fine. She has PTSD, it causes outbursts sometimes,” Knight lied. “Sorry for the upset. I’ll calm her down. Thank you.” The stewardess’s smell got further away.
Just a dream.
“The bodies,” I choked out. “They were all dead.” I felt Knight switch to the seat next to me and tuck some of my hair behind my ear.
“Sssh, it’s okay, Lis. It’s not real. You were dreaming.” He leaned closer and pulled me into his lap.
“Kitty killed everyone. She...” I sobbed and gasped for air. “Oh god... what did I give birth to...”
Knight’s soft lips pressed against my temple and it calmed me down slightly. I pulled away from his face and the fog lifted enough for me to focus on him.
“It was just a dream?” I asked him feebly, petting his hair to keep from sinking into the darkness again.
“Only a dream,” he confirmed. I leaned back in and tucked my head against his neck and my arms around his body. I stayed that way until I fell asleep, and the nightmares did not return.
