Cousin Moodle loves funerals. She don’t care whose funeral it is, she goes anyway. She’s always ridin on the funeral bus to some place or another. Funeral buses are usually hired. Or if the Land Council’s gotta bus, they use them to take people to towns to pay their respects.
Sometimes when a funeral bus is passin through town, Moodle packs a bag and goes along with em if they got the room. They can usually squeeze someone else on.
Moodle loves makin a big fuss and bein the centre of attention at funerals. She gits dressed up to the nines in her fancy, black funeral rig-out and hat. She wails and weeps and likes to be helped in and out of the church by at least two people. She likes to stumble and sometimes she faints. The way she carries on really gives Dad the shits and sometimes he tells her to wake up to herself and stop carryin on like some fuckin demented idiot.
Ma reckons Dad should have a bit of patience with Moodle. She reckons Moodle aint hurtin no one. Besides, Ma reckons blackfullas like a bit of a show at these things cos they like talkin bout how old so-and-so carried on afterwards. Especially when they’re sittin round havin their tea and cakes and sandwiches.
One of the things Moodle likes to do is run towards the coffin as it’s bein lowered into the ground, yellin stuff like, ‘Please Lord, take me with her’. People grab her just before she jumps. Dad reckons she relies on them to grab her in time.
Anyway, one time Moodle goes to this funeral. It’d been rainin for days and the red clay was slippery and ya had ta watch what you was doin so ya didn’t slip or nothin. Moodle gits carried away as usual as they start lowerin the coffin and starts runnin towards it screamin, ‘Lord, Gawd Almighty, please take me with him.’
Only one of the fullas slips and doesn’t catch her in time. Then Moodle slips herself and goes slidin into the grave, landing right on top of the coffin that’s been lowered halfway down.
So Moodle’s sittin on the coffin wailin. ‘But please Lord, Gawd Almighty, not now, not now. I aint ready to go just yet.’
Suddenly everyone’s rushin over there helpin Moodle outta the grave.
Ma whispers to Dad that he should go over and help too but he reckons may as well leave her there cos it might teach her a lesson.
It didn’t tho. She still gets dressed to the nines and goes to every funeral she can. And she still wails and runs at the coffin. Only difference is now she always makes sure someone’s there and all ready to catch her in time.