CHAPTER 23
Gladys
Sunset was in full bloom. And the sky was painted with bright amber colors accented by a long strip of white clouds.
Santo stretched. The horizon's beauty filled him with peace. He forgot about the tension, and the anger, and the crazy situation he was mixed up in, and began walking.
Shadows began to appear with the encroaching gray that preceded the sudden illumination of street lights; it was always a delicate time. Most people were either at home eating dinner during this hour or tucked away at a tavern in an attempt to soften the blow that had been their day.
When he reached the street corner, he saw a familiar figure approaching him on the sidewalk. It was Gladys.
“I couldn't sleep,” she said. “So I laid on my mattress with wide open eyes. I couldn't avoid listening to the four of you.”
“Then you know why I needed to take this walk and…you know as much as I do, Gladys.”
They began walking together.
“I like you, Rick.”
“You don't have to say that.”
“No. But I do appreciate a real man, once in a while.”
“Don't give me any more credit than I deserve. Truth is…I don't know what the hell I'm doing with my life.”
“Well, you hide it better than the rest of us.”
“Look. I'm just a burned-out vet who doesn't know how…or why…I survived the war. Sure, I'm back in the world. But all I've been trying to do is figure out what the hell happened to me there. That's all.”
“I don't believe that.”
“Why? Because we made love once?”
“Is that what you call it?” She smiled. “No. It's because you think your thoughts. You choose your words. You take action. Then…you don't look back.”
“Shoot. That's all I do. Anyway…why are you telling me this?”
“I don't know.” She broke her stride as if she was going to stop walking. But her stall was only a threat. “That's a lie. I need to talk with…well…someone like you.”
“But…I'm nothing.”
“You have the quality of truth.”
He pursed his lips. “You're making me like you.”
She peered into the sky. “It's a shame, isn't it?”
“What?”
“You and me…will probably never…really, make love.”
“Does that really matter?”
She stuck an intimate hand into his nearest trouser pocket. “No. I guess not. But you've completed your final exam.”
“Did I pass?”
“Well…you've got my trust.”
“Why the sudden responsibility?”
“For the same reason you needed this walk.”
“I needed to be alone.”
“Then we have something in common.”
They smiled at the contradiction and continued walking, immersed in a public privacy. And after awhile, she carefully interrupted their silence.
“What's it all about, Rick?”
He noticed the grays of twilight had changed into the shadows of dusk. “Look…the stars.”
“Don't tease.”
“I wouldn't do that.”
She glanced at the stars. “Then…is that all there is?”
“I don't know. I…don't know anything.”
“Neither do I.” She sighed. “Everything has gotten so dull in my life. I'm bored.” And after a thoughtful interval, “Will there be any meaning to my death?”
“I'm not sure that's the right question, Gladys.”
“Then what is?”
“Will there be any meaning to my life?”
The impact of his answer washed evenly across her face. But her expression changed asymmetrically as if the mosaic pieces on one side of her portrait were crumbling.
“I like that,” she said.
“I didn't say anything.”
“Then, thank you for nothing.”
She pulled her hand out of his pocket and linked her arm around his. Their brisk cadence changed to a stroll.
“Why a pimp in Atlanta?” he asked.
“I wonder how often that question has been asked.”
“Just this once…between you and me.”
“And that's all that counts. Is that the idea?”
“Something like that.”
“Well,” she said, “you'd be surprised how much money I can make. A lot of men are really turned on by the boyish look.”
“Is that why you…shave between your…your…”
“It got your attention,” she teased, “didn't it?”
“Yeah…well…”
“Look, hon, there was nothing wrong with what we did on the beach.”
“Oh, for heaven's sake, I know that.”
“Then stop blushing.”
“Am I?”
Santo's vernal remark amused her.
“You're a strange one, Rick. You don't belong here.”
“Where's that?”
“Beside me.”
“You underestimate yourself.”
“And at Six-thirteen.”
“You also overestimate me.”
“If I counted at all, I wouldn't be a prostitute.”
“There you go again, labeling yourself.”
And after wiping the surprised expression off her face, her features softened. “Stop being so wonderful.”
He teased her. “It really is a shame, isn't it?”
“Yeah. It's really beginning to look that way.”
Dusk had blossomed into evening with the circular flood of streetlights modifying the laws of nature. Their shadows disappeared and reappeared as they passed under the influence of each lamp.
“It's going to be dangerous,” she said. “And I'm not sure it's worth it.”
“It isn't.”
“Then…why?”
“Because. The decision's been made.”
“I don't think I'll ever understand that.”
“I'm not sure you're supposed to.”
“You mean, because I'm a woman?”
“No. Because you're a woman.”
She tugged at his arm. “Come on. Tell me. I want to understand.”
“But the odds are against you.”
“Why?”
“Haven't you noticed? There are differences between a man and a woman.”
“So what.”
He stopped walking and studied her as she came around to face him.
“A decision like that reflects a man's discipline…and courage. Once he's committed…he can't…he shouldn't think anymore.” He looked into her eyes. ‘You see? I failed.” He started walking again. Gladys quickly caught up with him.
“What do you mean?”
“I've had to use words.”
“Then shut up and hold my hand. Men.” She shook her hair impetuously as if there had been a wind. “I'll probably never see you again once all this is over.”
“I know. So, what's new?”
“Then you have no ties either.”
“Look at me. What do you think?”
“You're welcome to come with me, Rick. I could support you, working in Atlanta.”
“Thanks.”
She understood the tone in his voice. “But, no thanks.”
“It's not like that, Gladys.”
She released his hand and stopped walking. “I know. I was being selfish.” She bit her lower lip. “Melisa is really going to miss you.”
“Her feelings don't run very deep. She'll get over it.”
“You're right.” Her disappointment was clear. “You see? I told you I was selfish.”
“Women.”
She threw a mischievous smile at him. “You're quick. And I'm not a very good actress.”
“Come on. You had the right idea a minute ago.”
“What?”
“Shut up and hold my hand.”
They pushed aside the reality of their petty troubles and enjoyed the very presence of each other. It allowed the beauty of the night sky to confirm itself. Then Santo steered them back toward Six-thirteen. There was no need to wish upon a star.