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The snow left everything shimmering. The stretch of land on the left side of the road all seemed even and smooth. It gave a certain comfort. A calming effect. I slid on my sunglasses so I could look at it a little longer. The brightness of it with the sun bouncing off was almost too radiant for the eyes.

I had woken up intent on giving this day the benefit of the doubt. Hoping that this day would bring the change I needed. Hell, if I couldn’t have it all with the doctor’s wife profile, I could at least have the career. After my lunch with Tyson yesterday I was expecting to be put on that St. John’s account, pronto. Who would have the nerve not to give the client what he wanted? And at this point, the client wanted me. I could just see Ray’s face when he was told I would be an account manager. He’d have to do his own work, for a change. Make all those numbers measure up, like they wanted out of me. The new stuff would probably land on Ray’s empty desk.

I parked my gray Hyundai and gave it a nice pat. Soon I’d be trading the baby in for something new and shiny, maybe a Beamer like the one I’d contributed to for Tina back in my hair-day.

I picked up my mail from my box. Sherri wasn’t sitting there. I was glad. I sifted through it as I walked, looking for anything suspicious. There it was, another envelope with my name on it. When I reached my office, I dropped my coat and purse on the desk and sat down, almost missing my chair. I tore the envelope open, cutting myself on its edge. It hurt like hell. And for what, this little piece of paper. STUPID BITCH. The words were screaming out at me. I dropped the note on the desk where it landed facedown. The reverse side had a smaller version of the stick person drawn on it the same as the first note.

I picked up the phone to dial John. His voice mail came on and I hung up. I got up and peeked out before heading down the hall to Sherri.

“Sherri!” She kept her head down. “Sherri, are you going to tell me you didn’t see anyone drop this off here, either? You’re the one that puts the mail in our boxes.” I held the envelope up to her. She took her time acknowledging me.

“Actually, I did put that in your box this morning. I found it sitting right here on top of my computer. What is the big deal?” She stood up to straighten her skirt that was riding up her thighs.

“The big deal is somebody is sending me insults and calling me bitch anonymously and I’m trying to find out who it is.” I squeezed the tissue tighter around my finger to ease the stinging of the paper cut.

Sherri put her hand over her mouth. “You’re kidding me. I know you lying.”

“That’s why I asked you yesterday. You didn’t see who brought the envelope over yesterday, either?”

“Venus, I swear, if I saw anything, I would tell you.” She had a new sympathetic tone in her voice.

I looked around, up and down the halls. “Sherri, keep your eyes open, please.”

“I will.” She detected my desperation and felt sorry for me.

I walked back to my office and left a message on John’s voice mail. “I received another offensive note today. I guess you gave Ray a good talking to, huh?” I hung up. What possessed me to talk to the owner of the company that way. Sarcastic, arrogant. It was hypertension. My blood was surging at lightning speed through my veins. I couldn’t work under these conditions. The phone rang within seconds after I put it down. I jumped.

“Venus, how ya doin’, it’s Ray.”

“Yes,” I said, exhaling hard.

“You didn’t stop by yesterday before you left. We need to schedule something this morning, or this afternoon, to get together.” He waited patiently for my response.

“I’ll look at my calendar and get right back with you.” I hung up the phone. Cold drafts of air made the hair stand up on my arms. I dialed Lenny’s number, then hung up the phone before it could ring. What if he was in on it, too? Maybe they saw what trouble I could cause with a sexual harassment charge and just wanted to see me gone with the wind under my feet. I had to calm down. The only way to deal with whoever it was, was to not let it get to me. I did a few deep breathing exercises. Stretched and breathed some more. I grabbed the note and stuck it back in the envelope and made a file for it. I titled it Idiot’s Notes, where they would be filed if any more came. I wished I hadn’t let Lenny take the first one. I closed the file cabinet and concentrated on the task at hand. I had to stay focused on the goal of working on the St. John’s account. That was my main concern.

I really had to rethink my strategy. Even if I did get the St. John’s account, how could I work for a group that had no respect for me? St. John’s probably meant nothing to John and Lenny, who were creating multimillion-dollar ads for the likes of Energizer and Pepsi. St. John’s budget of maybe one-tenth of what the larger accounts were spending was probably ranked pretty low on their bottom line. Nevertheless, I had a goal and I was sticking to it. St. John’s deserved everything I had to offer. Gary Marshall would do nothing but put together a few greasy head models and float the product around and call it an ad. I had ideas bursting out everywhere, walking, shopping, listening to music, everything gave me inspiration for another idea.

I watched rain fall on the roof of the building next door. It was the next best thing to a view overlooking the city streets of northwest DC. I’d rather be over looking the Potomac River like Ray’s office, which reminded me to dial John’s office once again.

“Yes.” He answered on the first ring.

“John, it’s Venus, did you get my message?”

“Uh no, I haven’t gotten that far yet. I just got here.”

“I got another note.”

“Bring it in, let me see it.”

“I don’t think that’s necessary. I already tore it up. I just wanted you to know how frantic I was when I first received it this morning, so you’ll have to forgive my harshness when you hear the message I left earlier.”

“Was this note exactly like the first?”

“No, this time it said ‘stupid bitch,’ but with the same drawing on it as the last one.”

“Venus, this really might be serious. Maybe you should take some time off. Leave a couple of weeks early for your Christmas vacation until we can get to the bottom of this.”

“I . . . I’m all right. That’s not necessary.”

“I think it would be best, Venus. You are completely stressed out, you’re a nervous wreck. Whatever is going on needs to stop, and the only way I can see that happening at this point is if we pull out the determining factors, one of the most important being you.” His voice was unusually strong, not like his daily demeanor when he and Lenny played good cop, bad cop. “It’s for your own good, Venus.”

“John, I have a lot of work to finish here. I—”

“Venus, it’s best. I’ll take care of whatever is pending. Right now your well-being comes first.”

Any other time I would’ve been grateful for extra time off, but not like this. I hung up the phone feeling removed. What was happening here? The earth was spinning. I could relate to “stop the world I want to get off.” This wasn’t fair. I was the one being sent the derogatory notes, being harassed. I was sure it was Ray Chambers. Who else could it have been?

I tried once more, calling back within minutes. “John. Hi.” Pause. Say it.

“Are you making this decision based on my actions or someone else’s? Because I’m really getting the impression I’m being punished for something I’m not responsible for.”

“Well, obviously it’s nothing you’ve done, Venus. But this thing has gotten out of hand. We don’t know who’s sending the notes, but we know who they’re being sent to. I’m just trying to take the product out of the equation, and that’s you.”

“But that’s not fair. I shouldn’t be punished for what someone else is doing. I’m the victim here.”

“Venus, you’re under the impression you’re being penalized. Not at all. No, in fact it’s just the opposite. My first concern is your safety. I have to take threats of any kind seriously. Violence has hit exorbitant levels. The corporate climate has shifted to a zero-tolerance policy. If someone out there hates you, who knows what’s next?”

“The someone is Ray. Why is that so hard to believe? No one else has a reason to be this mean, this angry with me. Nobody. Ray is the only one. It makes sense; he wants some kind of revenge for my rejecting and humiliating him.” I rested my head in the palm of my shaking hand.

“If we had some proof of that, I would take action, Venus.”

“Well, you’re not going to get proof by sending me home. He won’t have a need to make another move. His goal will have been accomplished. I’ll be gone, out of sight, out of mind.”

“I think I’m making the best decision, Venus. Let’s just leave it at that. In fact, you can start your vacation today.” He paused. “All right . . . stop in before you go.” We hung up the phone at the same time, except I slammed the receiver down hard.

I grabbed the Idiot’s Notes file and my purse and coat and stomped up to the elevator. Before my hand pressed the down button, I turned right back around and headed for Ray’s office.

I didn’t knock, I walked straight in. “Why are you doing this? Why are you sending me these notes?” I threw the file on his desk and it slid, landing directly in front of him.

He opened it, picked up the half crumpled paper, and then tossed it back in the file. “I didn’t send you this. You think I sent you this?”

“Stop lying. I know you did. No one else around here has a reason to hate me. I know you do.” My voice wasn’t my own. It was low and menacing. “Remember the parking lot scene?”

His intense stare made me angrier. “We put that to rest, Venus. I apologized, and I meant it. I don’t have anything against you. I admitted I was wrong.” He was trying to make me seem crazy. Paranoid.

“Yeah, right!” I leaned in closer to his face. “I have something against you. I’m being sent home over this shit while you get to sit and do absolutely nothing in this big office of yours. Thank you very much.” I turned around and marched out of there, slamming the door behind me. I was hot, steaming. I was sure my head was glowing from the heat. I could see John coming out of his office wondering what was going on. Dominick and Saige were standing outside of their offices, too. Sherri was peering all the way down from the other end of the hall. Ray came out looking like the innocent victim, standing directly behind me with his sleeves rolled up over his forearms as if he’d just been through a rough time. He raised up his hands implying he didn’t know what was going on. John walked over to me.

“In my office now. Please.” He added. He looked up at Ray. “You, too.”

We both walked in and sat down at opposite sides of the office.

“What the hell is going on? That’s all I want to know. Has everyone lost their minds around here?” John pleaded.

“I told you he’s the one sending the notes, but you won’t believe me.”

“I don’t know why she thinks I would do something like that. I’ve been the most supportive member of this team when it comes to Venus.” He turned to me. “I have always been in your corner.”

“The review wasn’t enough, questioning the quality of my work. Now you’re out to embarrass and humiliate me all because I wouldn’t be with you.”

“Is any of this true, Ray? Did you make advances toward Venus, sexual advances?”

“The only thing I did was take her up on an invitation to lunch. If I appeared overly grateful, I’m sorry.” He looked at me again. “But I never touched her in that way. Not intentionally.”

“He’s lying!”

“Venus, please.” John scolded. “So you’re saying Venus just made it up?” he asked, not sure who to believe. “You never tried to kiss her, fondle her?”

“John, I mean really. I don’t need this, if you know what I mean. Venus is attractive in her own sort of way, but really, I am not interested in her.”

I was trembling from anger. Now I wasn’t pretty enough for him. But I was pretty that day when he couldn’t keep his hands off me.

Ray turned to me again. “I’m really sorry if you misinterpreted my feelings. And it goes without saying that I have no animosity toward you.”

John put his hands down in his lap as he lowered himself on the edge of his desk. He strained to keep one foot on the ground.

“I don’t know what to do here. This situation is scaring me. We’re a small company. We don’t need this kind of thing here.” John looked down at his hands like he was grappling with himself. He needed Lenny for this, but then he spoke the forced words. “Venus, I have no choice. Until we can resolve this, I think you’d better stay home.”

The fireplace hadn’t been lit since last year around this time, when Clint and I would pull all the pillows off the couch and make out like teenagers on the floor. This time it was just me and Sandy on the thick-piled Berber rug. I struck the long wood-stemmed match and watched it burn before moving it toward the paper-wrapped log.

I’d been off for exactly three days and it felt like three weeks. An extended vacation, at least that’s what we agreed it was called. My heart felt like it was caving in when John had said the words. “Me?” I wanted to scream, “why not him?” The smug expression on Ray’s face said, see, I told you I would win.

I walked out of there with my dignity stripped. I knew I shouldn’t have told anyone about the garage incident with Ray. I should’ve just dealt with it, ignoring the notes, ignoring the fact I felt like a leper before this thing even made headlines. The stomach doesn’t lie. It’s the Geiger counter of everything that’s going on around you. When you hear someone say “trust your gut instinct,” it’s the truth. Those stomach acids start falling in like soldiers, reporting there’s something foul in the mist. Fight or flight, that’s what it’s telling you. Get your shit together ’cause there’s trouble ahead.

Ray had probably started an undercurrent right after our encounter in the parking garage. I could just imagine him planting a rumor here and there so it would spread like a fire, like it had a life of its own.

“Venus came on to me. Can you believe it?” I could see him mouthing the words. Sherri, listening, and giving it credence. I imagine as I’m walking toward them, no matter how close I get, I still can’t hear anything coming out of Ray’s mouth, but I know the look, the looks from both him and Sherri. Each step I take, coming closer, in slow motion, I can see his mouth moving, telling lies.

I had to blink hard to shake away the thought. The feverish heat from the fireplace made my eyes tight and dry. The fire caught easily. I pulled the chain curtain closed on the fireplace. Burns Fast and Easy melted away quickly as the fire spread across the packaged log.