The Wall

Third period always smelled like cough syrup.

It had taken MJ a few weeks after she started sixth grade to figure out why. Their homeroom teacher, Mrs. Sanchez, liked to pop a cough drop in her mouth before each new group of kids shuffled in. MJ caught her pulling one out of a bag in her desk and unwrapping it one day when she’d walked into class early. When the mean-looking woman opened the drawer, it was like a bomb went off that made the room smell like a hospital.

She still wasn’t used to it. There were a lot of new things about sixth grade she was trying to get used to. The middle school was new, and although a lot of kids she’d known or seen in fifth grade were there, it all felt strange and scary to her. It didn’t help that MJ hadn’t had any close friends before her entire grade had all moved up from elementary school.

Once a week they had a free period in Mrs. Sanchez’s class, during which they weren’t required to do anything. MJ still didn’t understand why, but it was a thing. She had heard other kids talk about using their tablets or listening to music during free period, but Mrs. Sanchez didn’t allow any of that because she hated anything that made kids happy, or at least MJ thought so. Mostly, the kids in her class just sat and talked quietly. MJ had never been much of a talker at school, so she usually just spaced out the whole time, letting her mind drift away until she stopped noticing where she was.

That day MJ was thinking about Mr. Arellano and his wrestling school. It was pretty much all she thought about since meeting the old man. MJ just had to figure out a way to get him to let her come to his school, even if only to see what it looked like and what happened there.

She was working on formulating a plan when she heard a voice behind her say, “Lucha Dominion.”

Surprised, MJ glanced over her shoulder and saw a group of three girls huddled together. They were speaking quietly, but MJ heard enough to understand they were talking about Corrina Que Rico, and Corrina’s big upcoming match on the season finale of Lucha Dominion with her nemesis, Avispa Vudú.

MJ didn’t know two of the girls talking about MJ’s favorite show, but the third was Sophia. She was one of Madison’s closer friends from the gymnastics squad, but Madison wasn’t in Mrs. Sanchez’s class with them.

Sophia noticed MJ looking in their direction, and the only reason MJ didn’t look away was shock.

What was even more surprising was that Sophia smiled at her.

You should say something, MJ thought. She was your friend, too. Wasn’t she?

It had always felt that way, at least. She’d gotten along better with Sophia than she ever had with any other kids.

Madison was the reason they all shut her out. Madison didn’t like people she decided were outsiders, and she’d decided on their first day sharing a gym mat two years ago that’s what MJ was. The only thing Madison seemed to like less than outsiders was her friends hanging out with, or even being nice to them.

That might have been why Madison still came after her so hard. The other girls had liked MJ. It didn’t matter that she didn’t talk much, or that she was a little awkward. MJ was nice, and more importantly, at least on a gymnastics team, she was good. The other girls had been impressed by her skills. That only angered Madison more and made her work even harder to push MJ away and make sure the other girls did the same.

MJ had taken it for as long as she could, but without Papi around to make her feel better, she knew she couldn’t last another year on the team. He’d never known how bad it was for MJ, because she was too afraid to tell him, but when she did talk to her father after a hard practice it still made her feel better.

Even thinking about trying to deal with everything happening at home and Madison at the same time was too much.

But Madison wasn’t in their free period. Sophia wasn’t under her influence right now; she seemed friendly, and they were all talking about MJ’s favorite thing in the world. It was the perfect opportunity to do something.

MJ opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She knew what she wanted to say to them. In her mind she could see and hear herself speaking clearly and with confidence, but she just couldn’t make her thoughts reach her lips. It was like hitting a wall and bouncing off it. That wall was always there, between her and anyone outside of her family, it seemed.

In the end, MJ frowned and looked away from the trio of girls without saying a word, though she called herself all sorts of names in her head.

Behind her, MJ heard Sophia’s friends giggling and whispering about what a weirdo MJ was.

She didn’t hear them say that, but that’s what it sounded like in her head.

Madison would be happy, MJ thought. She’d won again, and she wasn’t even there.