When they gathered in the dimly lit, cool underground safe house—thankfully, the roof of the tunnel did not collapse while they were walking—and saw all the frightened faces, Aina’s heart sank. Urill pulled Lill into a tight hug, and said nothing when they let go, relief in his eyes but his mouth flattened to a thin line. He, June, and Sofía sat across from Raurie and Lill at a table. June folded her hands in her lap, waiting for them to speak.
At the same time, Tannis retreated to a corner to sit between Teo and Ryuu. Ryuu looked up once and gave Aina a small nod, but Teo still didn’t look in her direction. She needed to apologize to them, but right now, her focus was on the Inosen. If more anti-Inosen sentiment rose in the city and Bautix used that to his advantage, all the people here would suffer for her choice to learn this magic. She moved toward the table then and sat across from the Sacoren as well, between Raurie and Lill. “It’s my fault that these rumors are spreading. I’m the one who suggested we learn blood magic.”
“But we had to do something,” Lill said under her breath, looking between Aina and her father with a plea in her eyes.
Instead of replying to either of them, June turned to her niece with tears in her eyes. “Words cannot describe how disappointed I am that you hid this from me, Raurie. We’re family—not just us, but every Inosen here. Using Verrain’s magic puts every single one of us at risk.”
“It’s not Verrain’s magic,” Raurie said quickly. “It’s the Mothers’ magic. They gave it to us—”
“That doesn’t change how they see us,” Urill spoke up. “Lill, you know better than this. If people hear rumors of Inosen making men bleed in the streets, they’re never going to let us follow our beliefs freely. We will always be underground.”
“The people of this country love to blame anyone for their problems but themselves,” Sofía added. “Using this magic that they hate, out in the open, will be an excuse for them to treat us the same as they always have.”
“You say you want to fight back, Raurie,” June said, “but you’re forgetting to be smart along the way, and you’re forgetting that I am the person who raised you after your parents let their own bravery get in the way of their common sense. They were caught and killed. I refuse to let the same happen to you. Let your use of this magic die as a rumor on these streets and nothing more.”
As the Sacoren left them and Tannis walked over, Raurie’s hand went to her wrist, turning her bracelet over and over so the little stones caught in the cavern’s dim light.
“I don’t know if I can blindly trust the magic just because the Mothers allow us to use it,” she said, with unshed tears in her eyes. “Especially after killing someone with it. I couldn’t heal Lill after, Ryuu had to do it because the spell wouldn’t work for me. We’re supposed to show respect for life, and because I didn’t, the Mothers didn’t let me heal Lill. She almost died. And I don’t want to put the rest of the Inosen at risk.” She twirled a frayed end of the purple shawl she always wore, then said, “You know this shawl is my mother’s? It’s the only thing I have left from them. Your parents died for their magic too, Aina. Doesn’t part of you just wish they’d stayed safe?”
Silence fell after her words, but Aina didn’t know how to reply. If the Mothers wanted them to live peacefully, maybe they should have given everyone a fair chance at life. She couldn’t imagine it, the faith that the people in this safe house had, the faith her parents had had despite how much they’d struggled.
“We can’t give up now,” Lill said.
“You can do whatever you feel is best, Raurie,” Tannis said slowly. “But only if it’s really what you think; don’t let Bautix scare you. You’ve always believed in your convictions more than anyone I’ve ever met. Don’t let them shake that out of you.”
“It’s like you told us after the Dom burned down,” Aina added, her voice growing soft and her heart clenching at the memory. “This is where they expect you to give up; don’t give them the satisfaction. And Bautix won’t rest now that he has this shipment of weapons.”
He’ll destroy it if he takes over the city. She remembered Kohl’s words from the day on the boat when he’d whispered that Bautix would find a way to retaliate by attacking the home they both wanted to protect. That included places like this safe house, where the Inosen hid. And by using this magic and drawing attention to the Inosen, she might have doomed them. A chill swept down her spine, knowing Bautix’s threat to take back the city within a week was now a very real possibility.
She remembered something else then: that night at the warehouse, they’d overheard the Jackals talking about Bautix’s upcoming weapons shipment. There would be smaller shipments prior to the return of the smuggler from Kaiyan. She frowned, wondering whether this had been the big shipment or if there were still more to come. Kohl would be able to find out.
As if reading her mind, Tannis said to Aina, “Maybe it was the best way, siding with Kohl temporarily. Working with him will get Bautix out of our lives faster. I don’t blame you for making that judgment. But you should have told me, Aina. Are you the boss of the Dom, or are we?”
A sharp silence fell after her words, and Aina felt like every eye in the room was on her, even though most people had retreated to their own small groups and hushed conversations. Shame curled through her, and she hated herself for damaging Tannis’s trust in her—they were supposed to be partners; they were supposed to understand each other and be equals in running the Dom … but Aina had broken that. She forced herself to meet Tannis’s eyes before speaking.
“We are,” Aina finally said. “The reason I didn’t tell you isn’t because I think I’m the only boss. It’s just that … I wanted to face him on my own. I still do. I’m sorry, Tannis.”
Tannis’s eyes softened. “You can do that, but remember I’m on your side. And tell me when things are happening.”
“I will, I promise,” Aina said with a grimace. “First, we need to find out Bautix’s next steps; if he has another shipment of weapons coming, or if he’ll attack with what he has now.” She could look for Kohl, see what he’d learned … but she still couldn’t make sense of why she’d saved him earlier, and didn’t want to see him again until she did. “I’ll find some Jackals to get information out of.”
Tannis nodded. “You do that. I’ll ask if Mirran has heard anything, and I’ll send the recruits to the tradehouses to get information from them.”
Then, Aina looked toward Teo and Ryuu, her throat going dry. Before she did anything else, she needed to apologize to them. Ryuu turned in her direction as she approached, but Teo’s gaze was fixed somewhere in the distance. There was the same tension in his shoulders that was always there after he saw her with Kohl, even when she’d still worked with him, and the same hardness to his eyes that came so much more often after his mother’s death.
Ryuu took a deep breath, and when he let it out, his hair fluttered away from his face. “I could tell something was off, Aina, when you separated from us on the train. But I had no idea what it was.” Then he spoke directly to Teo when he added, “I don’t think we would have gotten the lead on this shipment at all without Aina doing this, even though we failed to stop it. And she got those notes about the secret entrances into the Tower because of her work with Pavel. It was probably safest for her to keep quiet about it. Even though she lied to us. Many times.”
Aina winced, but then Ryuu smirked to show he was joking. When Teo spoke, Aina’s eyes flicked to him, and she held her breath, hoping he didn’t hate her now.
“I don’t like that you kept it from us,” Teo said slowly, staring at the ground as he spoke. “It’s already hard enough to trust anyone in this city, Aina. We should be able to trust one another.”
“We can’t fight among ourselves, though,” Ryuu said. “We need to stand together if we want to stand a chance against Bautix. None of us would be alive right now if we weren’t all looking out for each other.” Then he chuckled. “Least of all you, Aina. You’re in a shoot-out almost every day.”
She rolled her eyes. “It’s other people who are starting the shoot-outs, and they happen to catch me in the middle of them, okay? I’m peaceful by nature.”
He let out a snort of laughter. “Okay, sure, I believe you.”
A moment of silence passed, where she felt a brief spark of relief, before she said, “You could take your own advice too. Stop putting the world on your shoulders when the world isn’t even asking you to.”
“It feels like it is, though. It’ll keep feeling like that until this is all over.” Ryuu shifted uncomfortably, frowning. “I know it couldn’t have been easy to side with him, but we all do what we think we have to do to stay safe; we keep secrets, we put on a strong face so our weaknesses can’t be used against us. I know you made the choice that seemed best at the time. But if you’re not careful, it’ll be very easy for him to hurt you again.”
“The partnership will only last as long as it takes us to kill Bautix,” Aina said, hoping Teo would meet her eyes, but he didn’t. “I won’t work with Kohl anymore after that. Once we kill Bautix, we’ll both want the tradehouses—we’ll be enemies again. But until then, we’ll keep this partnership alive. It’s been getting us further than anything else.”
Shaking his head, Teo stood and walked past them and into the tunnel that led out of the safe house. She let him go for a minute, doubt freezing her in place—part of her knew he was right to be mad at her and that if any forgiveness was to come, it should be in his own time.
But as he’d walked by and she’d caught his eucalyptus scent on the air, saw the way his shoulders tensed when he passed her, she feared this might be the last time she’d ever see him. Jolting out of her indecision, she ran after him into the tunnel, her footsteps echoing off the rock walls.
He stared straight ahead as she slowed to walk next to him. “You could have told me, Aina,” Teo murmured, making Aina’s heart sink—her reasons for not telling anyone all seemed to fall away, weak and meaningless, as he continued, “What do you think would have been so bad about telling me, or any of us? Manipulating you—or anyone around him—is that man’s favorite hobby. I know you want to prove that he can’t do that anymore and that he doesn’t affect you. But it doesn’t work like that. Your anger at him, your frustration with yourself, seems to be the only thing guiding you now, and it’s going to hurt you.”
He started to move past her, but she stepped in front of him. He almost walked into her, and stopped just short, staring down at her with those deep brown eyes she’d gotten to know so well. Those eyes that she trusted more than any others. Those eyes that seemed like they’d never trust her again.
“You’re one to talk,” she said, her voice unsteady. By the way his hands curled into fists at his side, she could tell her words stung. “Your anger drives you as much as it does me. And if it leads me to work with him, I can handle it, Teo. He doesn’t hurt me like he did before. I won’t let him.”
“I want to believe you, but I don’t trust him, Aina.” He reached for her hand and pulled her a little closer, making her pulse race as her hand came to rest on his chest. “Not him, not the Diamond Guards who killed my mother, not the Sentinel who would let it happen again. All they do is take advantage of us, and I don’t want to lose you to them too. I thought we were standing up to them together, not working with our enemies behind each other’s backs. You’re my best friend, Aina, and you’re still the person I love. I want to trust you. I want you. But you don’t see me that way.”
Her thoughts scattered as he finished speaking, his breath still warm on her face—he’d pulled her to within a few inches of him, so if she leaned forward even a little, her chin would touch his shoulder. He wanted her. He loved her, words he’d never said before but that she knew were as real as the breath in her lungs, as true as the solid rock of the ground beneath their feet. She gripped the fabric of his shirt in her hand, turning his words over in her head.
“Who said I don’t see you that way?” she whispered, meeting his eyes—but they were unrelenting. When he next spoke, he enunciated each word in a way that cut.
“Because you still love Kohl.”
“I don’t love him. I’m going to kill him,” she said, shoving away to break their closeness. Her voice was low and harsh but somehow sounded like a child telling their parents they were all grown up and could handle anything without knowing what waited for them.
“Why?” Teo asked, his voice hard and challenging.
A thousand reasons came to her mind and fell away a breath later. He’d killed her parents. He’d lied to her and manipulated her and made her feel like she owed him her life for years, getting her to do anything he wanted to prove she deserved to live.
But Bautix had been the one who’d hired Kohl to kill her parents. And Kohl had manipulated her, but she’d been weak and naive enough to fall for it all. Her hands curled into fists, nails pressing into her skin.
“The Dom was the first home both of us really had after our parents’ deaths,” she said, her voice much less steady than she’d hoped for. “We both want the tradehouses more than anything else. If he tries to fight me for them, which I know he will once Bautix is dead, then I’ll kill him.”
“But what if he doesn’t?” Teo replied immediately. “What if he’d rather you work under him instead?”
“I’ll never go back to that.” The words came automatically, so sure in her mind she didn’t even have to think about them. She straightened, pulling her shoulders back and hoping her certainty was clear in her eyes.
“From here, it looks like you already have,” Teo said softly. “It feels the same as it did then.”
“Like what?” she asked, her voice as frail as smoke in the wind.
“Like every time you talk to him, you fade away a little more. Whenever it happens, you’re still the girl I’ve known for years, but transparent somehow, like you’re becoming a shadow of him rather than staying yourself.”
Teo walked away then, leaving her cold and alone in the tunnel.