AFTER THE LAST BELL OF THE DAY, Boy21 follows me to the gym, where I meet Erin for our after-school workout.

When I change into my workout clothes, I ask Boy21 if he’ll be training with us, and he says, “I just want to watch.”

I nod, and when I turn my head, I smile, because I don’t want to help him earn my starting spot should he decide to come out for the team. I’m happy to let him sit on the sideline while I get stronger and faster. And as soon as I’m on the court sweating, feeling my heart race as my body moves, I stop thinking, sort of like I did when we were looking at sticker constellations, only more intense. Playing basketball makes everything else go away.

Russ sits in the bleachers while Erin and I shoot our patterns, practice free throws, and do our sprints. He sits in the football stadium while we dribble our five miles. And he sits in the corner of the room while we lift weights. The whole time he watches us with this blank expression on his face.

Eventually, he begins doing his homework.

Boy21 waits on the sidewalk when I walk Erin up to her door and give her a kiss good-bye. And then he and I sit silently on my front steps until his grandfather comes to pick him up.

The next day his grandfather drops him off at Erin’s house and he becomes my silent shadow once again.