THE DAYS PASS VERY SLOWLY and superfast at the same time.
Do you know what I mean?
Maybe it’s like a dream where time takes on a new sort of meaning.
I don’t know.
Life gets blurry, distorted, stretched out, balled up. It’s hard to explain.
I go to school.
I do my schoolwork.
I talk to Pop, Dad, Russ, Mr. Gore.
Things happen, but nothing really sticks in my memory.
Nothing worth mentioning anyway.
I just feel numb all the time.
Empty.
Sad.
Sometimes angry.
Kind of pissed.
Hollow.
Tired.
Cheated.
Lonely.
I think about Erin constantly.
Where could she be?
Is she somewhere better?
Will she contact me?
Has she already forgotten about me?
What’s going to happen?
It’s hard not knowing.
It pretty much sucks.
Bellmont is like a prison to me.
I’m here walking around, breathing, existing, but it feels like my life is somewhere else—someplace better.
Wherever Erin is.
I think about Erin every second of every day.
Erin.
Erin.
Erin.
Erin.
Erin.
Erin.
Erin.
Why hasn’t she contacted me?
Why?