Cedric
Burning. My right arm was on fire from shoulder to wrist, and no one would extinguish it. Not when I screamed so fiercely it felt as though it would rip me in half, not when I thrashed against the hands that held me in an attempt to do it myself, and especially not when I tried to form words through the foam and drool pouring from my mouth.
Cut it off, I tried to plead. Cut the entire thing off. Even without anything to numb the pain, there was no way that amputating what was left of my arm could hurt any worse than this torturous agony. Each time my muscles spasmed of their own accord, fresh jolts of pain shot from the wound on my shoulder in every direction, some even creeping up my neck, and if I could have reached inside to forcibly rip the venom from my veins, I would have without hesitation.
The coolness at my back was the only thing that brought me any shred of solace. I vaguely recalled my shirt being sliced from me prior to my hook being removed, so I lay bare, exposed, and completely at the mercy of the same evil bastards who refused to douse the fire eating me alive. Couldn’t they tell that was what I needed, not to be held down and immobilized, forced to drown in my own spit and vomit? That I’d never been in this much pain, that I would do anything to get it to stop, even run a blade through my chest, even curse Scarlett’s name—
“...for Scarlett,” some faint, faraway voice said. Had I said her name aloud? “If you won’t stay awake for me, do it for Scarlett.”
The flames reignited then, causing my back to arch and another involuntary scream to tear from my throat, but with my pirate queen’s face in my mind’s eye, I got through it without attempting to tear my arm off. The pain wasn’t anywhere near bearable, but knowing she was watching helped me pretend that it was. I couldn’t let her see me like this, no matter how much it hurt, and I certainly couldn’t let her listen to me beg.
“I’m going to extract the barb now. It’s going to get worse before it gets better, Ced.”
I almost laughed at such a cruel joke. How could it possibly get any worse?
Then, a knife. That was a knife digging into my flesh, and I couldn’t move, couldn’t fight it. It was my older brother holding me down and laughing as he carved me up like an animal, licking my blood from his blade between cuts, threatening that my tongue would be next if I screamed. It was Compton stringing me up by my wrists before opening up every slice Jamie had ever made and adding more of his own. It was every time a dagger had been shoved in my face simply to get me to scream or flinch, and Blackbeard or one of his crew had made a mockery of my trauma. It was that unmistakable feel of cool metal against my sensitive, wounded, unprotected flesh, and I was as powerless to stop it now as I had been every other time a blade had left a permanent mark on my skin.
I wailed. I cried. I kicked and thrashed, bit and squirmed, but all it did was both exhaust me and allow the venom to work faster. I couldn’t move or hear, and I certainly couldn’t think. My world had been dark for some time, but the blackness beckoning me now was the deeper, more sinister kind, an abyss from which I might never emerge. An entity. And upon discovering my weakness, it became ravenous.
Opening its maw, it met no resistance when it swallowed me whole.
***
Of all things, I woke to music.
The voice was soft and raspy, but its melody was pure and clear, repeating the same verse in an endless, haunting loop. From the way it swirled and echoed, it became obvious we were in an enclosed space. A cave, perhaps? I allowed the song to be my guide as I eased back into the world of the living, and I soon recognized its mournful lyrics as well as the voice giving them life.
“The tide is ever rising through the night,
Silver waters bathed in restless light.
Far across the seas,
Together you and I will be.”
Elvira realized I was awake halfway through this particular repetition but finished it before tightening her hold around my uninjured shoulder, avoiding the bandages wrapped around my other half as she pulled us closer together. My head rested in her lap, but she wouldn’t meet my gaze when I blinked up at her bruised and swollen face. Tremors wracked her body, and that combined with a few shaky inhales informed me she was crying, but only when she leaned forward and wispy blonde hair draped across my cheeks and upper chest did I become aware that she wasn’t simply crying. She was sobbing.
My pain and my voice returned around the same moment, so it cracked when I tried to utter her childhood nickname, the one reserved solely for situations like these. “Elle, don’t cry. I’m here.”
“Are you?” she whispered between sobs, her nails digging into my scalp as she tangled her fingers in my hair. She began rocking back and forth, cradling me as if I were a child. “Are you really? I’m not dreaming?”
“You’re not if I’m not.”
Elvira didn’t quit crying or rocking. “I thought… I thought…”
“I’m alive.” Somehow. “You wouldn’t be able to get rid of me that easily.”
That made her laugh, at least, but her terror returned in an instant, causing her to trip over her words. “I thought I’d killed you. There wasn’t enough juice left in that damn barb to make a proper antivenom, and cutting it out of you made you panic far more than I anticipated. You were screaming Jamie’s name, begging him to stop, but I had no choice but to use a blade, not if you were going to live. I had no choice, Ced.” A choked wail escaped her lips. “Please, forgive me. I’m so sorry.”
I gripped her wrist with my good hand then, squeezing just hard enough to get her attention. “Me salvaste la vida,” I said slowly, taking a moment to recall my Spanish. “There’s nothing to forgive, and never was.”
“Are you sure about that?” Though she had stopped rocking the moment she felt my touch, Elvira’s tears still flowed freely. “I’ve been such an ass to you these past weeks, and I was wrong. About everything.”
“What do you mean?” Ordinarily I’d have considered it a great victory to yank any semblance of an apology out of my sister, but I was still struggling to recall what had happened prior to me passing out, let alone the past month.
“I mean that Scarlett is alive. I didn’t believe it until I laid eyes on her, but she was precisely as you said. You didn’t lead us all this way for nothing. And you certainly weren’t willing to give up Wendy in the process, proven by this.”
Elvira took my hand before holding out my palm for me to see, and I was deeply confused until she went on to explain, “Your black mark. It’s gone, and has been since the moment you sacrificed yourself, taking that monster’s sting in your daughter’s place. It was selfless, and you really did save her life. With her being so much smaller, I suspect the venom would have killed her.”
My daughter. I’d have bolted upright if I possessed the strength. “Where is she? Is she all right?”
“I don’t know if you’d consider a broken leg ‘all right,’ but she’s alive. Just sleeping.”
Elvira gestured to where Wendy lay huddled against the side of the cave, closely flanked by both Heartpiercer and Arktos. The trident’s dim light pulsed rhythmically, and the dog lifted his head when he noticed me staring. Unless I was hallucinating, I swore he nodded, as if to say Don’t worry, I’ve got her.
My sister either hadn’t noticed or didn’t care, because she kept talking. “You, ah, pushed her a bit too hard when you shoved her out of the way, and she fell down one of those ledges. After we fished her out, Pan helped me set the break, and we splinted it as best we could. She’ll recover, but she won’t be walking for quite a while.”
“Shit.” I made a feeble effort to stand or at least sit up, but neither my body nor Elvira would let me.
“Wendy’s more fine than you are, Ced. The worst of the symptoms may be over, but venom is still in your system. You need to rest, and you definitely need more sleep.”
“No, we need to get that trident to Adais and get the fuck out of here.” Shoving Elvira aside, I managed to pull myself into a sitting position, but not without sending white-hot spikes of searing pain shooting from my wound into my chest. Through gritted teeth, I forced, “Where’s Pan?”
“Adais?” Elvira made a noise of disbelief. “Aren’t we giving the trident to Kaara?”
I’d forgotten that Wendy and I were the only ones who knew that, but there wasn’t time to fill my sister in. “Where is Pan?” I repeated.
“Off somewhere trying to make his mark go away. Mine’s smaller, but I still have it. And in case you haven’t forgotten, neither of us can go anywhere until those disappear, so unless you intend to leave us here—”
“I don’t, dammit!” I had raised my voice to a shout, but when Wendy stirred, I lowered it to a whisper. “It’s imperative that you both do whatever you need to as quickly as possible. The moment you’re both free and not a minute after, we’re getting out of here. All of us,” I added when Elvira shot me a pointed look.
“Fine. I suppose I should go make sure Pan is alive, at least. He’s been gone for hours.” She stood, then hesitated. “Are you sure you’ll be all right?”
I nodded. “Go.”
Elvira got to the mouth of the cave before darting back to my side, kneeling, then pressing her lips to my forehead. “I’m not going far. If anything happens, anything at all, just yell, and I’ll be right here.”
“I’m not dying, Elle. Not today.”
“Good. Because if you scare me like that again, I’ll kill you myself.”
“Looking forward to it.”
When I blinked, she was gone. Despite Wendy’s presence, my sister’s sudden absence left me feeling more vulnerable than I had anticipated, and I wrapped my uninjured arm around my still-bare chest, shuddering. It took only seconds for those whispers to come drifting from the cave’s entrance, filling what would have otherwise been silence, but I was grateful for the noise. At least it gave me something to listen to other than my own anxiety and guilt-ridden thoughts, thoughts that had wandered back to a certain person in particular. Or mermaid—whichever form she currently occupied.
“You’re doing it again.”
I must have slipped deeper than I thought, because Wendy’s voice caused me to start. Turning, I found her propped against the cavern wall, still flanked by her dog. Her right leg lay tucked beneath her and the other had been splinted with some driftwood, albeit awkwardly given our lack of proper supplies. Wendy clutched Heartpiercer in one hand while idly scratching Arktos’s ears with the other and watched me with an expression that very much suggested she held metaphorical matches right now.
Just as well, because I badly needed an excuse not to close the distance between us and throw my arms around her. Even the sight of her awake and alive was almost too much, so it was no shock that my voice cracked when I said, “Sorry. Old habit.”
“‘Habit,’” she echoed, still studying me closely. “Is that what you’re calling what you did for me, too?”
The question startled me so much that I didn’t have an immediate answer, nor could I tell where Wendy was going with this, so I kept my mouth shut and let her continue.
“Is that how you got all those scars? Saving people? I… I didn’t realize you had so many.”
Her mask slipped, and emotion shone in her gaze, but I forced myself not to acknowledge it, at least not yet. Repositioning myself so she could get a better look, I gestured to the marks on my chest and shoulders. “Each of these has a story, but they’re not nearly that exciting or noble, I’m afraid. A good number of them were left by two men, both of whom hated me very much.”
“Was Jamie one of them?”
I winced. “How do you know that?”
“You were screaming his name.”
“Ah. Right.” Elvira had mentioned as much. “He used my body as his own personal form of celebration the night Blackbeard was kil—wait. Why are we talking about this?”
Wendy didn’t answer other than to mumble an apology, so I took my own guess.
“We don’t have to talk about what happened if you don’t want to, but I’d like the night my brother tortured me off the table as well.”
“It’s not that,” she blurted out, looking increasingly guilty. “I’m just confused. You nearly died.”
“You would have died.”
“And? It’s not like I didn’t know what I was risking.”
“Hold on, now I’m confused.” The longer we talked, the harder it was to keep in mind our truce, but I did my best to keep my tone from slipping into antagonism. “Are you upset with me for saving your life?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know.” Wendy chewed on her lip. “You just have so much more to live for, so much more that depends on you, needs you.”
“Are you talking about Scarlett again? If you think for one second that she wouldn’t skin me alive if I ever let anything happen to you, you don’t know her very well. But that’s not why I did it.”
Wendy didn’t make me say the dreaded ‘I love you’ again, but her flinch told me she was thinking it, so I changed the subject.
“And that’s not true in the slightest, and hardly a fair comparison. We each have different things to live for, different people who need us, but that doesn’t make either of our lives more valuable than the other’s. What about Pan and Tink? What about Scarlett? She’d be beyond disappointed if, after all of this, she didn’t get to meet you properly.”
I nearly added what about me, but decided against it, especially when I noticed the silent tears running down Wendy’s face. She didn’t say a word, even when I left room for her to speak, and continued stroking Arktos almost hypnotically.
I wasn’t sure if I should keep going or let silence overtake us. We stared at each other for a long while, but when those whispers came creeping back, words tumbled from my lips. They probably weren’t what she wanted to hear, but I uttered them anyway. “I know what it is to be scared of the dark. I also know what it is to be allured and seduced by it, to let it convince you that you’re undeserving of even the tiniest shred of light. But, Wendy, the only reason you can’t see it yourself is because you’re the fucking beacon. You shine so bright for everyone else that you’re living in your own shadow.
“But I see it. Pan sees it. Elvira sees it. Hell, even Scarlett sees it, and she barely knows you. We’ve all benefited from it in one form or another. It’s high time you do too. Allow yourself to be as worthy as I know you are. Allow yourself to be loved.”
As I spoke, I inched closer, both because of my physical limitations and because I didn’t want to push her, but I wanted to be there to catch her if she fell. And into my waiting arms, she did.
Some faraway corner of my mind registered pain, but it was easy to shove aside while my daughter sought me out for comfort. Wendy buried her face in the crook of my neck, tucked her arms flush against my chest, and sobbed, her anguished wails finally drowning out those damn whispers.
I continued murmuring words I hoped were reassuring as I draped my right arm around her shoulders. My free hand rested atop her head, eventually beginning to stroke her hair, and I rocked her just as Elvira had rocked me, only vaguely aware of the fact that Wendy wasn’t the only one crying. For the first time since losing Scarlett all those years ago, that gaping hole in my chest had been filled, and now that I no longer felt like I was drowning, I was left gasping for breath in an entirely different way.
It was difficult to tell who pulled away from whom, but we managed to extract ourselves from one another once we’d both regained control of our breathing. Wendy resumed her position against the cave wall, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she raised her gaze to mine. Her cheeks were flushed from crying, but she looked far more at ease than she had before. “When the hell did you become so wise?”
I shrugged my uninjured shoulder. “I didn’t. You’re just getting easier for me to read.”
“Oh?” She brightened at the challenge. “What else have you observed?”
“I’m not sure you want me to answer that.”
“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t!”
I didn’t believe her but obliged anyway. “All right. You didn’t protest or correct Elvira when she called Pan your boyfriend. You two have been sharing a bunk for weeks—”
Wendy grimaced and cut across me. “It’s not like that, I swear. We’re very close, but nothing more.”
“I don’t give a shit, I’m just curious.” A lie, but only because it was Pan of all people. For Wendy, though, I’d force myself to accept it if he truly made her happy.
“I like Peter a lot, but we’re just friends. We couldn’t and won’t be more, because…” She hesitated, then blurted out, “I like girls.”
I blinked. “Oh.”
Heat flamed her cheeks. “Yes. It’s been a while since I’ve had a crush, but H-Herbert’s advisor was q-quite pretty.”
“The mean one? Amira?”
She nodded, and I laughed.
“Well, to be honest, I like the idea of that far better than you and Pan. But be with whoever you want. As long as they make you happy, I’m happy.”
Wendy immediately bristled. “I wasn’t aware I had to ask your permission to do anything, much less when it comes to that.”
“Back to snipping at me, which means you’re feeling better. Good, because we need to get the hell out of here.” It took less effort than I anticipated to pull myself to my feet. Perhaps the venom had finally run its course.
“But Peter and Elvira—”
“Have been gone for at least an hour, which means they either can’t do what they’re supposed to but are too stubborn to ask for help, or they’re in trouble. Either way, I’m going after them.” Having located one of Elvira’s spare daggers, I tucked the sheathed blade into my waistband. I decided against donning my hook given the weakened condition of that arm and shoulder.
Wendy’s mouth fell open. “You’re leaving me here? Alone?”
“No. You have your dog, don’t you?” It was difficult to keep my tone even, because while I didn’t like the idea any more than she did, it wasn’t as if she was capable of walking at the moment. I nodded toward Heartpiercer. “Do you remember what to say to get out of here?”
She looked insulted that I asked. “‘What belongs to the sea wi—’”
“Don’t say it now!” I snapped. “Keep that trident close, and if anything happens, don’t hesitate.”
Wendy shook her head and blurted out another string of protests, but I had already turned to leave. Though I hated to abandon her, each step I took helped to clear the mind fog the venom had left behind, and the surer I became that I’d made the right decision. Something felt off, and we’d stayed sedentary for too long. What’s more, Elvira wouldn’t have been gone this long without explanation, Pan hadn’t been seen for far longer, and my suspicions were confirmed the moment I set foot outside the cave.
It was hauntingly silent.
Gooseflesh erupted along my arms, and it had nothing to do with the fact that I wasn’t wearing a shirt. Those rhythmic whispers had been present since the moment we’d tumbled into that pile of bones, so for them to have gone quiet couldn’t mean anything good. Instinct had me yanking out the dagger, but a deeper and more primal one warned that one measly blade wielded by a man at half strength wasn’t going to do shit. Still, it wasn’t as if I had any choice, so I crept forward, scanning my surroundings.
We hadn’t gone far from where we’d battled the monster. Though partially veiled in a cloud of mist, I could make out the outline of the creature’s lifeless corpse draped over piles of rubble. The carapace had been pierced from above, nearly cracking it in two, and the curved tail lacked the barb that had poisoned and nearly killed me.
My arm tingled at the unpleasant memory, and I turned away, taking note of two distinctive paths to my left and right. Both led back to the monster and then beyond, though the barrens we’d crossed to reach this place were obscured by that mysterious fog. Was that where Elvira and Pan had wandered off to? Had they retraced our steps and backtracked that far? Or were there other paths I simply hadn’t seen? Elvira had mentioned she intended to stay close. Surely she wouldn’t—
A scream from the mist. Not a warning, but a cry of pure fear that seeped into my skin and bones alike. I remained in place when I should have darted back to Wendy’s side, but a combination of curiosity and stupidity won out, keeping my feet firmly rooted to the ground. Was it my sister? Pan? Or was it yet another monster, this one designed to lure me to my death, or worse, away from Wendy?
I didn’t have to wait long. A silhouette came staggering from the path to my left, and upon emerging from the fog, I recognized Pan’s terrified face. Judging from how out of breath he was, he’d been running for quite some time and struggled to regain his footing. “The souls!” he half-gasped, half-yelled, eyes wide and pleading. “They turned on us!”
Of course they had, and my sister was nowhere to be seen. “Get to Wendy,” I ordered Pan before sprinting toward the path to the right. A low roar grew louder with every step, but only when I was a dozen feet from the mist did I register them as voices. Angry and buzzing, their combined volume soon became overwhelming, but I pressed on, because I meant what I’d said to Elvira. I wasn’t leaving without her.
She burst from the fog a moment later, looking even more bedraggled than Pan. Her clothes were ripped and torn, her hair plastered to her cheeks with sweat, and she didn’t slow her limping stride when she spotted me. “Those fucking ghosts,” she managed between gasps. “They’ve gone mad, chased me, tried to grab me—”
“Come on.” I snatched her wrist in a vice grip, abandoning the useless dagger as I dragged her back toward the cave. “Pan has Wendy. We’re getting out of here.”
“But the mark, it’s still there!”
“Would you rather be cursed or alive?”
“Are you saying you’d give me the choice?”
“Come on,” I repeated, because the honest answer was no; I wasn’t any more ready to lose Elvira than she was to lose me, and she knew it. “Heartpiercer can take us to the surface.”
We remained linked as we made our way back to the cave. Though we moved significantly slower than I would have liked thanks to Elvira’s limp, we were otherwise unhindered, and Wendy, Pan, and Arktos were waiting for us by the time we arrived. They looked ready, but far from relieved or welcoming. Wendy was only standing thanks to Pan and Heartpiercer’s help, both of whom she utilized as crutches, grimacing as Arktos emitted a series of agitated barks, but it wasn’t until Pan lifted a shaky finger that I whirled around. “Behind you!”
Souls began pouring from both paths, effectively blocking any form of escape. Some looked ravenous while others looked downright murderous, with a handful wielding ghostly weapons. They formed a mob so tightly packed that they were tripping over and trampling one another, but for every soul that got crushed, three more were there to take its place. Within a minute, we’d be overwhelmed, and whether they intended to beat, swarm, or tear us limb from limb, I could think of few worse ways to die. Without slowing my pace, I roared over Arktos’s frantic barking, “Everyone grab that trident NOW!”
I shoved Elvira ahead of me, ensuring she got within reach of Heartpiercer before I did. The moment she touched her palm to it, I followed suit, and even Arktos jumped up to place one of his paws on the shaft. That left Pan, but of all things, he hesitated.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I snarled. “Grab it!”
“It burned him last time,” Wendy protested.
“A burn is better than death. Take it, Pan!” I’d have forced him if I had another hand, but I wasn’t willing to let go of the trident for his sake. The souls would be upon us within seconds and their screams were deafening, but my heart was pounding so loud it drowned them out. “Now!”
Swallowing, he reached, but the moment his fingertips brushed the metal, he yelped and yanked his arm back. The scent of singed skin flooded my nostrils, and I may have felt sorry for him if ghoulish and clammy hands hadn’t brushed my back a moment later, informing me we were out of time. In a split second, I made my decision, placing the safety of my sister and daughter over that of Peter Pan’s.
Forgive me, Wendy.
Tightening my grip on Heartpiercer, I whispered, “What belongs to the sea will always return.”