The problem with being a celebrity was that not only did people know who you were, they cared about what you were doing in a way that never did make sense to me. Still, it was part of the whole being famous thing and unfortunately, once it got started, there was no stopping it. There was no tap I could turn to simply shut it off for a night, or even a few hours. I was still a little shocked that Darla had actually agreed to go out with me, but now that she had, the last thing I wanted was to subject her to the reality of what going for a simple dinner with me could mean.
Something told me that she wouldn’t be as receptive to all the extra attention as Amelia had been. Especially because I wasn’t completely convinced that Amelia hadn’t manipulated the media attention purposely in her favor.
In the beginning, I thought maybe it was a coincidence that there were more reporters at the restaurants we went to, or the coffee shop I used to be able to get my macchiato without any crazy amounts of attention. Blaze Barron and his new, model girlfriend—maybe that was news? And at first, Amelia seemed to be annoyed by the reporters and cameras. But it didn’t take long for her to start engaging with them. She’d offer up little pieces of information to them, like breadcrumbs, and pretty soon they’d start hollering her name out instead of mine. Not that I cared. I played nice with the paparazzi because it was part of the job, but it didn’t mean I liked it. Amelia loved it. Especially when her agent started to call with more and more high-profile bookings.
There was no denying that all the attention our relationship received had been very good for her career.
Sheila had some strong opinions on the matter. None of which were favorable for Amelia, but I didn’t hold any ill will toward her. Not really. Sure, she could have handled our breakup better. In the sense that having a very public affair with a high-profile NFL player maybe wasn’t the nicest way to let me know that she was ending things. But they would have ended anyway. We were never right for each other. I knew it almost from the start. Not only was there an age difference between us, but more importantly, we wanted different things. Amelia was in the stage of her career where she was hungry for opportunity and always looking for something more. Bigger, better, more money, more status.
I wasn’t concerned with all of that. I’d earned more money than I needed in one lifetime, that I’d combined with some smart investments. If I never worked again, I wouldn’t have to worry about money again. Ever.
So climbing the ladder, being seen by the right person when you were with the right person, making the right connections, or looking just right at all times, were far less important to me.
That was one of the things that drew me to Darla.
She was the exact opposite of Amelia.
Darla.
I ran through my mental checklist one more time to be sure I had everything for our date.
Being so new to town, I’d reached out to Trent and Phillip for a little input. They’d very happily helped me out, and, with everything ready, I made the short drive to Darla’s house on the other side of town.
Her home was dramatically smaller than my rental, but it, too, backed on a creek. I could hear the water as I made my way up the stone walkway through a front yard that was all garden, with no grass in sight. The flowers looked both wild and intentional at the same time, and it was far nicer than a green manicured lawn would be. And very Darla.
Before I could knock on the door, it opened, and Darla appeared.
I froze. She was stunning. Another flowy skirt, this one deep purple with gold thread sewn through it that glinted in the late evening sun, paired with a tight cropped tank top of black and gold that showed just a sliver of her tanned, toned stomach. My eyes lingered on the soft flesh there before slowly traveling up. She wore her hair down, but it was pulled back with a gold clip over her ear. She didn’t wear much makeup. She looked sun-kissed and gorgeous, like a goddess.
“You look stunning,” I said honestly. “Wow.”
She brushed my compliment away and walked down the steps to join me. “You look…” She grinned but didn’t finish her thought immediately. “You look like this actor I saw in a movie once,” she said after a moment. “The resemblance is uncanny.”
This isn’t a date. This isn’t a date.
It was the mantra I had playing through my head even before Blaze picked me up, but my brain still hadn’t accepted what I was telling it. Or more specifically, my body hadn’t received the memo.
He smelled too damn good. Sitting so close to him in his SUV was an exercise in self-control because what I really wanted to do was lean over and breathe him in until my senses were completely full of the essence of Blaze.
What I did instead was clench my hands together in my lap and pretend to be interested in the scenery out the window that I’d seen my entire life. I spent the drive pointing out various places of interest—the best place to get a decent cup of coffee, the food truck with the best falafel in the world, and of course, the very best yoga studio in town.
“If you ever want to work on your downward dog, let me know. I’ll book you into class.” I winked at him when he blushed.
Okay, I probably shouldn’t be flirting with him at all, but it was so natural I couldn’t seem to stop myself.
“My downward dog, hey?” Blaze shook his head a little. “I actually don’t think I’ve ever done yoga.”
“What?” I turned in my seat so I faced him completely, the impromptu tour of Aspen Valley forgotten in light of this news. “How is that even possible? Everyone’s done yoga.”
“I assure you…” He glanced over and caught my eye, causing my stomach to flip like I was a teenager. “Not everyone has done yoga. Because I certainly haven’t. My trainer, Brad, generally focuses on strength training. Gotta build these biceps, you know.” He took his hand off the steering wheel long enough to flex, and I burst out laughing.
“Okay, I get it. You need to be buff for all your…” I waved my hand in a circle. “Shenanigans on screen.”
“Shenanigans?”
I shrugged. “But yoga is amazing for strength training.” I wasn’t just saying that, either. Yoga really was important for everyone. Especially when it came to overall fitness. “You need to talk to Brad about adding some stretching into your routine. It’s huge for muscle growth and flexibility so you don’t get hurt. And I’m not just saying that because I own the studio.”
“You own Go With The Flow?” Blaze didn’t bother to hide the shock from his face.
I nodded. “Sure do. All twenty-three locations.”
“Twenty-three?” His mouth fell open.
I grinned, pride filling me the way it usually did when I told someone for the first time about my business—which didn’t happen all that often because I preferred to stay under the radar. “Last year was a pretty big expansion year. I’ve slowed things down a bit now, but we have a waiting list for franchise opportunities out East when we’re ready for another growing phase.”
“Wow. That’s impressive.”
“Thank you.”
“So you really meant it when you said you could get me into a class.” He laughed. “I’ll have to take you up on that one day.”
“I’d really enjoy that. And I think you would, too.”
His eyes were full of fire and heat. “I think I would. Very much.”
I had to look away to keep myself from suggesting a private lesson, which would just take us down a path that would only lead to trouble. My gaze shifted out the window once more. I’d been so caught up in our conversation, I hadn’t noticed the city had slipped away while I’d been distracted. “Where are we going? All the restaurants are—”
“We’re not going to a restaurant.” Blaze glanced over at me. “I hope that’s okay,” he added quickly. “I promise it’s not creepy or anything, it’s just…well, the press doesn’t know I’m in town yet. I know it won’t last too much longer, especially after getting some attention at the shelter today, but I was really hoping tonight wouldn’t be the night they made the discovery. I’d like to keep you all to myself, if that’s okay with you?”
Is. It. Ever.
“So what are we doing instead?” I somehow managed to ask the question. “I do hope it involves food, whatever it is. I’m starving.”
And putting something in my mouth might give me a hope in hell at distracting myself from what I’d really like to be doing with it.
“Not to worry, I’ve got all the details taken care of. I promise I’ll take good care of you.”
Oh, there was no doubt he would take good care of me. And damned if I didn’t want him to. But a promise was a promise. And I was deeply regretting this particular one.
We made small talk for the rest of the drive. I pointed out a few more things but the farther we drove out of the city, the less there was to show him. In fact, when he turned off onto a forestry back road I’d never even heard of before, I let him take over tour guide duties.
“Have you ever been up here before?”
I shook my head.
“I’ve been doing some research, and there seem to be quite a few good hikes up this way. Are you much of a hiker?”
“I’d like to say that I am. I love being in the mountains, on the trails, in nature of any kind really. But, to be honest, I’ve always been a little bit scared of hiking.”
“Scared? About what? The woods are the safest place you can be.”
I burst out laughing. “You have to be kidding, right? The woods are terrifying. There are lots of things out there that can eat you.”
Blaze reached over and put his hand on my thigh, just for a moment, but it was long enough to send sparks racing through my body, directly to my core. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”
I believed him. And maybe that was the whole problem. The danger wasn’t in the woods—it was how I was starting to feel around him.
“So? What do you think?”
I’d started second-guessing my decision to take Darla for a picnic as soon as we left the lights of the town behind. She’d seemed surprised, and when she mentioned she was scared of the woods, well, I was both surprised and a little worried that she wouldn’t be able to relax. But I shouldn’t have worried, because as soon as I parked in the little clearing I’d found on my explorations a few days earlier, I saw the way her eyes widened.
I hadn’t realized at the time when I discovered the viewpoint that it would become the site of my first date with Darla. But as soon as she’d agreed to dinner, I knew where I wanted to take her, and judging by the look on her face, I’d been right.
“Wow.” Her mouth opened and shut. “This is…can we go look?”
I laughed. “Of course. That’s why we’re here.” Together, we walked away from my vehicle and toward the expanse of blue sky in front of us. We were up high, on the edge of a cliff with the river winding through the valley below us. There was a spattering of white, yellow, and purple wildflowers on the grassy meadow at our feet, but it was the view that made the spot so amazing.
“This is incredible,” Darla said.
I couldn’t take my eyes off her as she took in the expansive view of the mountains and river. “It really is.”
She turned toward me, and I quickly covered the fact that I’d been staring at her by pointing to the mountains across from us. “Just wait until the sun starts to set. The alpenglow on the mountains might be the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen. Maybe.” I winked and quickly added, “Stay here. I’ll get things set up. Give me two minutes.”
I moved fast, hauling everything out of the back of my SUV: blankets, lanterns, and a propane-fueled fire pit for when things got chilly. I didn’t want any excuses to have to leave early. I’d ordered takeout from a restaurant in town, but I didn’t have time to pick up any paper plates, so I’d grabbed a selection of plates and glasses from my kitchen.
Once everything was arranged on the blankets, complete with little tables I’d found in the garage of my house, I was actually pretty impressed with myself. Sure, it wasn’t a five-star restaurant downtown, but as far as I was concerned, it was better. My eyes drifted to Darla, who was still taking in the view.
“Okay,” I said as I joined her at the edge of the cliff. “Your table is ready, madam.” I offered her my arm, which she took with a grin. “Shall we?”
“We shall.”
She laughed, and it really was a sweet sound. But not nearly as sweet as the small gasp that slipped from her lips as I turned her around.
“Well?”
Darla’s free hand pressed against her lips, but I could tell she was smiling as she took in my setup. “This is…wow, Blaze. It’s…well, it’s unexpected.”
“Unexpected?” It was my turn to be shocked. “Are you saying you didn’t think I was capable of such a romantic setup?”
She tilted her head and gave me a look. “Romantic? This isn’t a date.”
“It could be.”
She walked past me and took a seat on the pile of blankets and pillows, crossing her legs under her skirt. “I don’t think it should be.”
“That’s not a no.” Trying to convince a woman to date me was a new concept to me, for sure. At least since my first Lethal Mission movie came out and all chance of anonymity and meeting a woman who liked me for me disappeared. But with Darla, it was different.
She liked me for me. And not because I played Ash Jackson. At least, I was pretty sure she did. She smiled up at me as I grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses. Yes. She definitely liked me. I might be a little out of practice, but I knew when a woman was into me. And Darla was. I could feel it. But a feeling wasn’t going to be enough. I needed to know more.
“You promised to tell me the reason you’re so passionate about starting an addiction program,” she said as I passed her a glass.
“That sounds like you’re avoiding the question.”
“I don’t remember hearing a question.”
The little smirk she gave me was sexy as hell and sent all kinds of feelings through me.
“You aren’t going to make this easy, are you?” I dropped my head and chuckled. “Okay.” I looked up into eyes full of flirty mischief. “I told you I would, and I will. Maybe over dessert, you can tell me why you’re trying so hard not to like me.”
Darla’s head snapped up, and for a minute I thought she was going to protest. But instead, a slow, sexy smile crossed her face. She shrugged. “I guess it depends what’s for dessert.”
Damn this woman.
Before I started talking, I reached for the cooler and the basket of food I packed, spent a moment arranging the meal that consisted mostly of various tapas and salads, and laid them out between us before handing Darla a plate.
I gave us each a few minutes to dish up and take a few bites before I held up my end of the bargain. “I don’t know what it was like for you,” I started. “But growing up, we learned all about drugs and drug addiction in school.” She nodded, and I continued. “But in all of that education, we didn’t really learn the truth. I guess I should say, we didn’t learn the whole truth. I remember there was this whole drug addiction prevention program in school called…”
“DARE.” Darla filled in the blank in my memory. “It stood for drug addiction rehabilitation education.”
“That’s it.” I nodded and took a bite of the mini shrimp taco in front of me. “Anyway, I guess it was better than nothing, but all I remember was seeing movies and slides of people strung out on heroin or laying among boxes and trash cans in back alleys. And I know that can definitely be a side of addiction,” I added quickly. “But the thing that struck me so many years later was that when we were young and invincible, we watched those videos with total detachment. That could never be us. We were middle-classed kids with bright futures ahead of us. And we were way too smart to get addicted to heroin.”
Darla didn’t speak but slowly picked at her food while she listened closely.
“Prevention and treatment programs weren’t for us. We were so far from that life, and we just couldn’t relate. What we didn’t even consider was that there were other drugs, less obvious but just as dangerous. Maybe even more so because we didn’t see them coming.”
Darla put her plate down and shifted so her arms were wrapped around her legs as she listened.
“Hell, we didn’t even know how to look for them until it was too late.”
“Someone you loved.”
It wasn’t a question. I nodded.
“My older brother Hayden broke his wrist in a rugby game senior year of high school,” I began. “He was captain of the team, and I remember how disappointed he’d been not to play in the finals. The thing was, he never showed his disappointment to anyone except me. Around his teammates and my parents, he smiled and put on a brave face and was almost obnoxiously positive. When it was just the two of us, the smile would fall away. Not for long, mind you,” I added quickly. “But long enough that I could see how much it upset him not to play for the championship.”
“That must have been hard.”
“Truthfully, I don’t think I thought about it too much at the time. I was a few years behind him in school, and if I’m being real, there was part of me that was kind of glad that he couldn’t play. I know it sounds shitty and petty. It was. But it’s honest. Hayden was the kind of guy who was good at everything, and everyone loved him. I was the drama geek who spent all my time with the other theatre kids. I had friends, sure, but it’s…”
“It’s different.”
“Sure is.” I chuckled.
“I’d say all that theatre obviously paid off.” Darla picked an olive off her plate and popped it in her mouth before adding, “Tell me what happened.”
“Hayden’s break was a pretty major one that required surgery. The doctor prescribed him pain meds for a few weeks to get him over the worst of it. No one thought anything of it.” I inhaled deeply, remembering how little I paid attention to what was going on back then, wrapped up in my own teenage world. It wasn’t until about a month later, when Hayden begged me to fake an injury so I could get a prescription for my pain, that I started to think maybe something wasn’t right. I told Darla that part of the story, and added, “But as far as I was concerned, it wasn’t a drug addiction. I mean, he wasn’t strung out in the bathroom or living on the streets. He didn’t look like an addict.”
He looked like my brother, and he was struggling.
Darla bit her bottom lip and nodded a little.
“My parents were in denial,” I continued. “It wasn’t until he dropped out of college in his second semester that they would even contemplate that something wasn’t right with Hayden. By then his addiction was full blown. He was like a different person, with almost constant mood swings. He lied all the time, and stole from all of us because he either wasn’t making enough money at his part-time jobs to pay for his habit, or he couldn’t keep a job because he was completely unreliable.”
“What did your parents say?”
Obviously, I knew she’d ask about my parents and their reaction. Oddly, as hard as it had been to lose Hayden, the way my parents handled it—or, more specifically, didn’t handle it—was by far the hardest part of the story.
“They didn’t believe it,” I said after a moment. “There was no way they could wrap their heads around the fact that their perfect son was a drug addict. It wasn’t until the police brought him home because he’d been caught trying to steal a bike that—”
“A bike?”
I shrugged. “Anything he could sell easily.” Darla nodded, and I continued. “Dad seemed to understand a little bit more after that, but my mom…well, she still had every excuse for why Hayden was behaving the way he was. It was hard to watch, and even harder because by then I was a senior in high school, and I would have much rather have been the lead in the school production instead of turning it down to try to find a treatment program for my brother.”
It didn’t matter how many times I talked about Hayden and what had happened—not that I did talk about it much. Still, it never got easier. All the old emotions, the confusion because he didn’t look like an addict. The anger and frustration because the programs didn’t exist for him. Or for us. All of it rushed back. I took a deep breath and looked past Darla to the stunning view of the mountains, just starting to pink with the setting sun, and closed my eyes.
Blaze got quiet and when he closed his eyes, I gave him the moment he needed. It couldn’t be easy to talk about something so terrible, especially with someone he barely knew. Yet, I could tell that he needed to talk, too. I didn’t rush him and, a few moments later, he opened his eyes again and met mine.
“You didn’t find one, did you?” I was pretty sure I already knew the answer, and I wasn’t surprised when he shook his head.
“I know it was a different time back then, but no one would believe us that this golden child was an addict.” Blaze shook his head and looked down for a moment. “I’m sure if we were rich and could afford to send him to a private treatment program, they would have happily have taken our money, but that wasn’t the case. My parents worked hard and we’d always had a comfortable life, but we were far from wealthy. And with the astronomical prices they were charging to send him to a treatment program he didn’t even want to go to…Dad just couldn’t swing it. Even when I finally convinced him it was the only option.”
Blaze’s handsome features screwed up into sadness for a moment. “I don’t think he’s ever forgiven himself for not trying harder,” Blaze added. “But it wasn’t his fault. If there’d been a program that we could have accessed…well, it might have made all the difference.”
“You lost him.” It wasn’t a question. I could see it in the way his shoulders sagged and the deeply sad energy radiating from him. “I’m sorry.”
Blaze nodded. “He overdosed when he was twenty-two. A life totally wasted. I vowed then that I’d do whatever it took to make sure it didn’t happen to anyone else. That the facilities were available for everyone. And the education and support, because it was so lacking. And I know things have changed so much in twenty years, and there’s so much more awareness. But it’s not enough. I can do more.”
I shifted my mostly untouched plate of food to the side and moved across the blanket so I was closer to him. Taking Blaze’s hands in mine felt natural. I closed my eyes and sent as much love to him through our connection as I could until I could feel his body relax. His hands softened as they loosened their hold on the stress and hurt he’d been carrying, but I still held on until he squeezed back.
“That’s why this is so important to you.” Again, it wasn’t a question. Still, he nodded. “Thank you for sharing that with me. I didn’t know.” That struck me. I didn’t know. Not that I made it a priority to look at tabloids, or celebrity gossip websites, but I couldn’t deny that ever since meeting Blaze, I had paid a little closer attention to any information about him. But in everything I had seen, there’d been no mention of a brother, and definitely not a mention of a brother who’d died from addiction.
“No one knows,” he said, reading my mind. “Well, I assume someone knows. But I’ve managed to keep it out of the press for the most part, and I’d like to keep it that way. It’s important to me to protect my brother’s memory.”
“You don’t have to worry about me saying anything.”
His radiant smile was back, the seriousness of the moment gone. “Oh, I know.”
He squeezed my hands one more time before letting go, and I immediately felt the loss of his touch.
“I sensed that about you from the first time I met you,” he said. “You don’t seem like the type of woman to go running to the press with a juicy tidbit about Blaze Barron.”
I laughed. “Hardly.”
“That’s one of the reasons I like you.” He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.
Instinctively, I closed my eyes at his slight touch, and chills raced through my body.
No. No. No.
It took an incredible effort, but I opened my eyes and physically turned away from him instead of leaning into his touch the way I wanted to. “Oh, look.” The sun had set just enough to reflect off the mountains across from the lookout vantage point where we sat, painting them a vibrant shade of pink. “It’s gorgeous.” I got to my feet and moved closer to the edge of the cliff to take in the alpenglow effect.
“Pretty amazing, isn’t it?”
I nodded but didn’t take my eyes off the sight. Growing up in Aspen Valley, I’d seen the alpenglow before, hundreds of times, but it had never been quite like this. “It’s…” I gave up trying to find a word to describe it, and instead focused on the sight before me. Blaze stood so close I could lean over and rest my head on his shoulder if I wanted to. And I did want to.
I took a slight sidestep to the left. A moment later, his hand shot out and captured mine. I didn’t pull away from his touch because, at that moment, standing there, experiencing such beauty together, it felt right. A few minutes later, as the glow on the mountains began to fade, the spell we’d been under faded as well and slowly I tried to remove my hand, but he held fast.
“Your turn.” His voice was little more than a whisper.
I looked over, but Blaze was still focused on the mountains.
“Why are you trying so hard to pretend you don’t like me?”
My heart clenched in my chest. I swallowed hard. “I’m not pretending.” My voice was thin and unsure.
Blaze turned to me and took a step to close the distance between us, his hand still in mine. “So, you really don’t like me then?”
His voice was deep and full of desire, and it lit up everything inside me.
I couldn’t lie to him. “I like you a lot. It’s—”
Whatever else I was going to say was forgotten as his lips pressed to mine. He never took his hand out of mine but instead used his free hand to cup my cheek while we shared what could only be described as the most intense kiss I’d ever experienced.