CECILY FOLLOWED HARLEY onto the huge and beautiful sky patio on the rooftop of the penthouse, trying hard not to gape at the more than eight thousand–square foot space surrounded by a ten-foot privacy fence. It was divided into sections, too: the lounge area with a full couch and chairs and colorful potted plants, and then at the edge, a single lap pool and an adjacent Jacuzzi, lit in blue. Above them, the clear blue June sky stretched out for miles, dotted only with a few white fluffy clouds. She glanced up, feeling the warm sunshine on her bare arms, wondering how it must feel to live like this: both in the city and yet so far removed from it at the same time.
“It’s all so beautiful,” she said, unable to keep the awe from her voice. A butterfly flittered by to the potted flowers. It seemed like an oasis far above the city.
“Thank you. Wilder...doesn’t believe in doing things by halves,” Harley said. “When I first saw this place, I couldn’t even believe this existed in New York.” She moved to the lounge area and took a seat in the chair. “Come. Sit. Let’s talk.”
Harley’s tone was friendly and conversational, but Cecily wondered if she was about to be interrogated. There was already a pitcher of iced lemonade on the table, filled with slices of real lemon, mint leaves and crushed ice.
“Lemonade?” she asked, offering up a crystal glass with initials etched in the side, almost like a brand.
“Uh. Sure. Thanks.” Harley poured a glass and handed it to Cecily. She took the cool glass, noting how heavy and thick the highball was.
“So.” Harley inhaled. “How do you think the boys are doing?” She looked worried, and probably for good reason. Harley reached out and poured her own glass of lemonade.
“I’m just hoping they’re not fighting,” Cecily admitted.
Harley took a sip of her own lemonade, contemplating her next question. “How did you two meet?”
“A dive bar,” Cecily said. “About a month ago.”
Harley coughed, patting her chest, as if the lemonade had found its way down the wrong pipe. “You two haven’t been dating long, then.” Suspicion crowded the edges of her question.
“Right. We haven’t.”
“But you’ve already had sex.” It wasn’t a question. Cecily felt like that was out of bounds.
“That’s right,” Cecily said, feeling defensive. “I was in his bed about an hour after I met him. So what?” She didn’t add that normally she didn’t fall into strange men’s beds. That she didn’t make a habit of one-night stands. There was the pesky little problem of cancer, and dying, and her trying to get in as much living as she could before her time was up.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend,” Harley said, trying to backtrack. “It’s just that...this is going to sound odd. I’m a sexologist. I have a PhD in human sexuality, so how and when people choose to become intimate. It’s really a focus of my career.”
“Wait a second.” Cecily’s mind turned. “Are you Harley Vega Lange? As in Dr. Harley?” Harley Vega, world-famous sex advice columnist that Cecily used to read on her daily commute to work on the train. Before she was laid off.
“That’s right.” Harley smiled sheepishly.
“I used to read your column all the time. You give great advice.”
“Thank you.” A blush crept up Harley’s cheek. “So, again, my apologies for prying into your love life. It’s none of my business. And, just so you know, there’s no judgment from me.”
“Okay. I mean, good.” Cecily smiled, and still felt a little stunned. She was drinking lemonade with Dr. Harley. She couldn’t believe it. This was the most famous celebrity she’d ever met, unless you included that insurance spokesperson she saw at a fast-food restaurant in downtown once.
“I was just noticing that you two seem very close. For a casual relationship,” Harley said, seamlessly pivoting back to her and Liam. Harley didn’t mince words. Cecily was surprised by the bluntness, but also, a little reassured by it. She didn’t have to worry about veiled threats. Harley was coming at her straight, and that was fine by Cecily. She met Harley’s questioning gaze and didn’t blink. Cecily reminded herself she really didn’t have anything to hide.
“Yeah. Well, it was my intention to be casual, but Liam...he’s doesn’t seem to do things halfway, either. Maybe he’s more like Wilder than he wants to admit.”
“Maybe,” Harley conceded. The silence between them grew. Harley waited, eyes sympathetic and friendly, as if waiting for Cecily to offer up the next bit of conversation. The silence deepened, and suddenly, Cecily felt the need to fill the dead air.
“I have cancer,” she blurted. She didn’t even know why she said that. Why had she gone there?
Harley raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.” Her eyes filled with sympathy and warmth. “What kind?”
“Liver. It’s rare for a person of my age.”
“And the prognosis?” Harley asked.
Cecily fidgeted with her lemonade glass, wiping off a streak of condensation. She didn’t want to admit she was dying. That all of this was useless. What was the point of getting into the nitty-gritty with Dr. Harley? It’s not like they’d have time to be best friends. Then again, there was little point in lying, either, for the same reason. “Not good,” she admitted.
“Does Liam know?”
Cecily broke Harley’s probing gaze. “Yes. And that’s why he’s here.”
“Did you ask him to come?” Harley asked, voice carefully neutral.
“No,” Cecily blurted, still a bit offended. “He insisted. There’s an experimental surgery he wants me to do. But I don’t know. I think it’s all likely a waste of time.”
“No, you don’t.” Harley cut straight through her defensive wall. Cecily put the lemonade on the table, her appetite for it lost. “Or you wouldn’t be here.”
“I’m just here to make sure Liam doesn’t do something foolish,” Cecily snapped. She suddenly felt like a bug under a microscope. And why did she get the impression that Harley was implying she had ulterior motives? She was just trying to do what was best for Liam.
“Of course.” Harley said it neutrally.
“Look, I don’t want his money. Or Wilder’s. I just want...” She realized right in that moment that she just wanted Liam. For as long—or as little—as she could have him. “I love Liam.”
“Love him? After just a month?” Harley’s skepticism was palpable. Cecily felt a little as if she was on the defensive. But how to explain what she and Liam had? Lightning in a bottle. She knew in her gut that he was special, he was the one, whatever that meant, even though they hadn’t known each other long.
“Look, I met him...well, I probably would never even have talked to him, but I guess my diagnosis gave me the courage.”
“Of course.” Harley frowned just a little.
“I look at the world in a whole new way, and that’s why I approached him at the bar.” She recounted quickly their meeting: the rude regular giving her trouble, Liam standing up for her, and then the fact that they’d been nearly inseparable since.
“Sounds like there was a lot of chemistry right at that first meeting.”
“There sure was!” Cecily remembered just how much chemistry they’d shared that first night, and nearly every night since. “But it’s also more than chemistry,” she added, growing thoughtful. “Liam and I, we just click. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true. Haven’t you ever just met someone and known?”
Harley shook her head slowly. “No.”
“Not even Wilder?”
Harley tilted her head backward and laughed. “No. I hated him on first sight,” she admitted. She twirled an end of her brunette hair around her finger, absently. “He had me fired.”
“That doesn’t seem like a good start to a romance,” Cecily admitted.
“It wasn’t. But... Wilder won me over. Eventually. It took a little longer than a month.” Harley glanced at her lemonade glass. “And given your circumstances, there are a lot of pretty intense emotions around sickness, and couple that with a new love, and it can be pretty explosive.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Why did Harley suddenly seem to be not on her side? What was her angle?
“I’m just saying that you two haven’t known each other a long time, but this situation, it’s like an added stress in a relationship. And sometimes, relationships born from that kind of stress feel very intense, but they don’t last.”
“You think we’re not going to last?” She grit her teeth, wanting to tell her that she was right about that in a way. They wouldn’t last. Because she was dying. But the real stickler, the real thing that annoyed her was the doubt in Harley’s voice. Even if somehow, by a miracle, she did survive, why shouldn’t they be together?
“I think that relationships begun in such stressful conditions often don’t last. That’s all I’m saying. It’s why so many reality TV romances unravel once the cameras are off. The adrenaline fades, and then so does the passion.”
“I don’t have a reality TV relationship.”
Harley looked at her with a little pity. “No, of course not. I just mean...” Harley glanced up at the clear blue sky. “I mean...just...be careful. That’s all. Nobody intends for bad things to happen, but if you can’t keep the urgency in the relationship, then it might be hard to maintain. That’s all.” Harley wiped some of the condensation off the side of her lemonade glass. “And the desire to be a white knight, it’s strong in many men. But especially for Liam. He was very protective of his mother from a young age. He wanted to save her.” Harley gave a shrug of her shoulder. “But all human beings want to feel needed, and so I can see why some are attracted to complicated situations.”
“Like a woman with cancer,” Cecily finished, putting the pieces together. Suddenly, Harley’s claims didn’t seem so far-fetched. Could Harley be right? What happened if suddenly Cecily did get well, and then the urgency was gone? Would Liam feel the same for her if he couldn’t be the white knight anymore? If she didn’t need saving?
Cecily wasn’t sure what to do with all the new information swimming around her brain. She couldn’t help feeling a little unsettled. A nagging thought popped into her brain then: Why should she worry? There was no guarantee she’d live, anyway. That dark, heavy truth still lingered over everything, like a storm cloud stuck stubbornly in the sky.
Harley leaned forward, looking pensive, as she placed her hand on Cecily’s. “Look, I can see I’ve upset you. I’m sorry. It wasn’t my intention. I am truly sorry about that.”
“No, it’s okay,” Cecily said.
“Ignore me. Sometimes, I can’t turn the sexual behavior PhD off. Forget what I said. More lemonade?” Harley asked, reaching for the pitcher. Cecily nodded, absently, the wheels in her mind turning. “Now, I know you don’t want to talk about this, either, but...” Harley took a deep breath. “We should talk about Wilder and Liam. Do you know their history?”
“I know what Liam told me. That...” How did she put this nicely? “That Wilder took the company from him. Left him and his mom penniless.”
“There are two sides to every story,” Harley said. Cecily had suspected there might be, but she couldn’t imagine how Wilder ended up coming out the hero on this one. “Things aren’t so simple between those two.”
“Like what?”
“Like there wasn’t much left of the family fortune to steal,” Harley said. “Liam’s father had bankrupted the company, used it as his own personal bank account. When Wilder took over, it was near collapse.” The sun hit Harley’s dark, shiny hair then and her light brown eyes almost looked golden.
“Is that true?”
Harley shaded her face from the sun. “I’m afraid so. Look it up. There have been a few articles about it in the Wall Street Journal and Financial Times. Wilder saved the company, saved the family’s wealth. Liam disagreed with how Wilder did it, sure, but he did it all the same.”
“Does Liam know that the company was bankrupt?” Because it sure didn’t seem like he did. Not from the way he acted.
“Sometimes, people believe what they want to believe,” Harley said. “If you have a core belief, something that’s fundamental to your outlook on the world, you have a hard time changing that belief. So, anytime a bit of information might come in that disagrees with you, you might just explain it away. It’s called bias confirmation. It’s why it’s so hard to change someone’s mind when they’ve dug in their heels about politics—or anything, really. Facts presented can be explained away or excused.”
“You’re saying Liam lied to himself?” Now Cecily was starting to get angry on Liam’s behalf. Harley held up a hand defensively, shaking her head.
“No. Not on purpose, not maliciously,” she explained. “Liam is a good man. He believes he’s doing the right thing. In some ways, he’s a white knight for his mom. He feels he’s protecting her by remaining angry at Wilder.”
“But you’re saying that anger is misplaced.”
“I’m saying that Liam was basically a kid when all this happened. He formed some pretty hardened beliefs around what happened, and he’s had a hard time changing those beliefs. His brothers don’t see it the same way, but then, Liam was a lot closer to his mother than they were. He took her side and stuck with her, even if she didn’t deserve his support. Liam is very loyal that way.”
“Yes,” Cecily agreed. She remembered, too, him telling her he didn’t do things by halves. That he was all in or all out. He was loyal. To a fault, given that he seemed committed to being with her, even though she was a lost cause. “He is loyal. Very loyal.”
“That loyalty holds value. He’s been protecting his mom, maybe even enabling her for a long time. Liam didn’t lie to himself. He just wanted to protect what he thought was valuable in his life. That’s why he continues to be there for his mother, but she’s not always there for him.”
“She’s got a disease. She’s an addict,” Cecily said, already rising to her defense, though she’d never met the woman. She was doing it for Liam. “And he says that she started drinking heavily after they were disinherited.”
“That’s not quite right.” Harley shook her head. “She’d had trouble long before her husband died. She always drank heavily and it had been a problem before Liam’s father died. Of course, it could’ve gotten worse after, but I know for a fact she wasn’t a great mother to the boys when they were little. Wilder told me stories. About how she’d punish them.” Harley shuddered. “Once, she locked Wilder in a closet for days.”
“That’s awful.” Cecily couldn’t imagine someone doing that to a child.
“His father blamed it on her drinking, and maybe that was true, but still. She hasn’t really made amends to the boys. Never really took responsibility. Wilder told me it fell to him to make sure Seth, Stuart and Liam got to school. That their clothes were washed. That they got fed. Their mother checked out, went on binges for long periods. Their father worked long hours, so Wilder was the one who put them to bed at night. Who made sure they ate their vegetables. He was barely older than they were, and he had to be their parent.”
“So why is Liam so loyal to his mother?”
The sun went behind a cloud then, and the shade enveloped them both. Harley stared at her, eyes sad. “No one wants to believe their parents are bad. That they don’t have their best interests at heart. Liam made excuses for his mother because he truly wanted to believe the best of her. We all do of our parents.”
She set down her lemonade glass on the small outdoor table.
Now Cecily felt like she had a lot to process. She glanced at Harley. “Do you psychoanalyze everybody you meet?” She laughed a little, hoping to blunt the criticism.
“I can’t help it.” Harley sent her an apologetic smile. “It’s hard to turn off that PhD. I’m sorry, really. I should mind my own business!” Harley beamed at her, and Cecily couldn’t find it in herself to be annoyed. There was something genuine about Harley’s manner, about her open, sunny disposition, that made her comments feel less pointed. Harley really seemed to want to help, and Cecily couldn’t blame her for that. “I can see that you do love him, and that you are certainly in his loyalty circle. I think he’d do most anything for you.”
“How can you tell that?” Cecily asked. She wasn’t sure if she should feel honored, or worried, that Liam’s blind loyalty was now hers.
“Well, he’s here now, isn’t he? I would’ve bet he would never have come back here for anyone or anything. But you’ve proven me wrong.”