LIAM STILL COULDN’T believe this was really happening. Sure, he’d had many willing women in his bed, but Cecily...she was different. She was gorgeous, she was perfect and she held absolutely nothing back. She was free in a way he’d never expected, giving of herself in a way that took him completely by surprise. She didn’t try to hide her want, either, as she arched her back, pressing her pelvis against his. Women who wore expensive shoes, like she did, typically didn’t care for his calloused hands. She couldn’t seem to get enough of them. And in this moment, their bodies pressed together, merging into one, he couldn’t imagine a more perfect fit for him. He’d never been with a woman so open, so uninhibited, so alive in the moment. He felt drawn to that take-no-prisoners spirit. He wanted to sit in her light for as long as she’d let him.
Her tongue lashed his, her mouth hungry, and she clung to him as if he were the only man in the world, the only person she’d ever want. Her grip drove him wild, her body melding to his. She trailed her nails down his back, sending shivers down his legs. His whole body felt alive, felt like one vibrating nerve ending, awash in sensation. She was soft, she was wet and she wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him ever deeper into her warm center. He’d be a fool not to go. The dam holding back his want for her, his need, cracked. He wouldn’t be able to hold himself back anymore. He came in a hot, wet, molten explosion, every ounce of him pouring into her, every last bit of himself drained.
He collapsed on top of her bare chest, her soft, amazing breasts pressed into his chest, and tried to regain control of his own heart thudding like mad in his chest. His whole body pulsed, twitched, with the aftereffects of his earth-moving climax. He never, in his life, had come like that. Never felt as if he’d pumped every ounce of himself, every bit of his essence into a woman. He felt now like an empty shell. He held his weight on his elbows, as he buried his face in her neck, in her delicious smell, the air thick with the scent of her perfume and their bodies, with sweat and want and a need satiated.
“God,” she murmured into his ear.
“I don’t know if God had anything to do with this,” he quipped, and she laughed, deeply and vibrantly, her whole body shaking. He pulled back and looked into her eyes, shocked again by how blue they were, how clear. He caressed her perfect heart-shaped face, sweeping golden hair from her forehead. Her eyes, full of light, searched his own. For a second, he thought she might be about to deliver bad news, that she might roll out of his bed and out of his life right then—spoiling all hope that she might spend the night here with him. He’d never wanted anyone’s company more than he wanted hers right this moment. He still couldn’t believe this amazingly beautiful and delicate woman was in his bed. Still couldn’t believe his luck.
“Thank you,” she told him then, as they were nose to nose. Again, she surprised him. She was thanking him? He was the one who should be on his knees, thanking her.
“You shouldn’t be thanking me.” Liam rolled off her. After all, Liam was a whole lot of complicated. He’d walked away from his brothers—the good ones and the bad. He’d left them all. That wasn’t a selfless act, either.
“I should be.” She perched herself up on one elbow, miles of her flawless skin on display. She touched his face gently. “Thank you. That was amazing.”
He glanced at her, guard up. That’s what women usually said when they were about to leave. His stomach tightened and he realized he didn’t want her to go. Not now. She rolled over to him, trailing a delicate nail down the middle of his chest, she curled into him, and he opened up his arm, pulling her to him, their bare bodies lying together.
“Can I stay awhile?” she asked, her voice almost so low he didn’t hear her.
“Of course,” he murmured into her hair, pulling her close. He wanted her here, wanted her in his arms. Because the second she left, he knew he’d not believe it had happened at all. Lying here, he suddenly wanted to know everything about her: where she was born, where she’d grown up, did she have brothers? Sisters? And more importantly: Why? Why had she picked him? Of all the guys in that dive bar, hell, in all of New Jersey, or Manhattan, why him?
And...what was it she was trying to get away from?
He knew it had to be something. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know. A bad boyfriend? Or worse... A bad husband? This was a woman trying to drown her sorrows in his body, distract herself from real life, because a woman like this didn’t hop into bed with a man like him without a reason. A woman like this didn’t cling to him like he was a damn life raft, unless she felt like something—or someone—in her life was drowning her. And she definitely didn’t cuddle up in his arms, tucking herself into his side as if hoping he’d take the shrapnel, just for a little while.
She was hiding something. But what?
The question bubbled up in his mind, but he shushed it. Talk, he feared, might send her to the door. If he prodded to find out her secrets, she’d most definitely flee. Instead, he tucked his other arm protectively around her. She would talk when she was ready, he figured. And he’d be there to listen.
“You sure it’s okay that I stay?” she asked him.
“Yes,” he replied, without hesitation.
“You’re not just saying that?”
Liam pulled away a little so he could meet her gaze. “I don’t lie. It’s too much hard work. The truth is easier.”
She laughed a little. “So you won’t lie to me?”
“Nope,” he said, pulling her close. “I’ll always tell the truth. You can count on that.”
Cecily awoke the next day to dim early sunlight filtering in through the blinds. She blinked, staring at the window, her mind feeling muddled. She didn’t have blinds in her condo. She had curtains. And...there was a big warm arm tucked across her waist. The entire night flooded back to her then: the dive bar, Liam, her amazing night of...could that even be called sex? More like naked fireworks that blew her mind. She’d never in her whole life realized sex could be so...amazingly hot, so mind-numbingly showstopping. She’d never in her life been able to shut off her brain during sex, always worried about whether the light shone on that one patch of cellulite on the back of her thighs, or whether her partner would ever find the right spot, or what weird sounds either of them might be making. Sure, she’d had decent sex before, but there was always a part of her logical, detached mind in play. Last night, Liam had shut off every single logical circuit, and all that had been left was pure instinct, pure desire, pure white-hot pleasure.
And that had everything to do with Liam.
She barely knew him. Hell, didn’t even know his last name. And yet, after last night, part of her wondered if he now knew her better than most of her ex-boyfriends combined. He knew her body, that’s for damn sure. Knew it better than she even seemed to know it himself. His tongue. His hands. Lord. But now, in the gray light of morning, that other reality she’d tried so hard to keep at bay came trickling in.
She was dying.
Liam might have made her feel alive again, for a single night, but now, she had to face the reality of it: She wasn’t young and full of life. She was young and dying. And now she had no job, either. No health insurance to even try to get a second opinion, see if there were other treatments out there. And, hell, no insurance or money to pay for them even if there were. The reality hit her like a cement block, and tears suddenly stung the backs of her eyes. What would she do? Tell Liam about the cancer prognosis? Tell him, hey, if he played his cards right, he might have eight or ten months? Maybe even a year? Even the best of men might not be able to handle that. She could lie, of course, or just not mention it, but then what? If they really continued on, after a few weeks or a few months, she’d have to tell him.
All of it was terrible.
Liam’s deep breathing next to her told her he was still asleep. The steady rise and fall of his chest meant maybe she could sneak away. Maybe she could leave without him knowing, and maybe she could get herself home without any awkward goodbyes. Or lies. He’d promised to be honest with her, so she would try to do the same.
Even if it meant sneaking out and not saying goodbye. Technically, that wasn’t a lie.
If she waited until he woke up, she’d have to lie and tell him she’d call him, when she knew this could only be one night. She couldn’t string him along for more. That was, even if he wanted that. Who knew if he even wanted that? A man as gorgeous as him probably wouldn’t even miss her, probably had a dozen women right now waiting in his phone contacts or DMs, who wouldn’t mind keeping him company tonight.
The very thought of that sent an ache pulsing through her chest. But it was just one more disappointment she’d have to learn to deal with. Cecily told herself to focus on the fact she’d had one amazing night with him. One she’d think about often through the dark days ahead.
Take joy where you can. Isn’t that what her grandmother always told her when she was little? Now she knew the importance of those words.
She eased slowly out away from his embrace. Liam’s breathing continued, soft and steady as she gently shifted his arm. She inched her way to the edge, careful not to move too quickly, as she put her bare feet on the floor. When her butt left the mattress, it creaked a bit, and the sound woke Liam. He groaned and reached out.
“No, shh. Go back to sleep,” she whispered. He wasn’t awake enough to really hear her, she decided. He rolled over to his side, tucking his face into his pillow. Yes, that’s it, don’t mind me. Go back to sleep, she willed him, and once more his breathing grew steady. She stood there, at the side of the bed, admiring the strong muscles of his back as it rose and fell with every deep breath. She didn’t know how long she stood there: A few seconds? A few minutes? She was trying to fuse the memory of his perfect body into her brain. Then, she grabbed her discarded clothes from the floor and quietly, ever so quietly, pulled on her underwear and her dress. Her sandals lay near his door, with her small purse. She crept over to them, careful, picked them up, and gently slid the bolt open on his door. She turned the knob, freezing at the sound of the creaking of the door—unnaturally loud in her ears. Cecily glanced once more at the bed in the corner. She watched Liam moan a little and shift. She froze, her heart racing, but then he went still again, his breathing steady. She tiptoed out the door and shut it slowly behind her, the click of the latch making her cringe. She stood on his doorstep a second, but heard no creaking bed telling her he’d sat up. No determined footsteps marching to the door. Cecily darted away, moving quickly down the steps, barefoot, shoes still in hand, lest the clack of her heels on the wooden steps give her away.
She went past the glass door, pushing through it and letting it swing shut behind her. Then, she knelt and slipped on her wedge sandals. She dug into her small white bag, looking for her phone, so that she might be able to call a rideshare. That’s when she realized her phone wasn’t there.
What the...? And then she remembered: last night. After many rounds of amazing, world-changing sex, she’d checked her phone and saw the battery nearly dead. Liam gallantly offered her his charger. Her phone was likely still sitting there.
“Dammit,” she cursed to herself. She turned, grabbed hold of the front door of the building, but found it predictably locked. Of course it was. And what would she do anyway? Sneak back up the stairs to get it? Buzz the buzzer of his apartment? She glanced at the names on the silver buzzer box. They were handwritten last names on small white tags.
In that second, she realized she didn’t even know Liam’s last name. Hadn’t even asked. She didn’t know which name was his on the directory. Petrie? Jules? Laures? Lange? She had no idea. Would she just buzz them all? And then what would she even tell him if she did find him? Not trying to sneak out or anything, but could you get me my phone? She shook her head. She had special insurance for her phone. Maybe she’d just say she lost it, and get a new one. She liked that idea a whole helluva lot better than seeing Liam’s face when he realized she’d snuck out.
Just then, a yellow cab turned the corner. It let someone out down the street. She had her wallet, and she had cash. She could just get in that cab and in minutes be home. It felt like fate was pushing her in that direction. She trotted down the stairs and hailed the cab. As it pulled up, she opened the back door and slid in, glancing once more at Liam’s second floor window. She kept staring at the window as the cab pulled away, her heart heavy as she wondered if she did the right thing.