The Plates

PLATE I

 

One of countless identical fragments from Egyptian relief carvings of the 42nd dynasty. Loosely translated it means “Have a happy inundation.”

 

 

PLATE II

 

The Secret of the Pyramid Revealed.

(For a closer shave.)

 

 

PLATE III

 

Pharaonic Error.

(This plate was formerly titled “Did anyone get that slave’s number?”)

 

 

PLATE IV

 

Those Amazing Egyptians.

(In gathering the research for this plate, Macaulay spent weeks at Giza working in the shadow of a large camel.)

 

 

PLATE V

 

Post Card from Pompeii.

(Owing to a series of strikes at the post office in Naples, this card didn’t reach its destination until May of 1913.)

 

 

PLATE VI

 

Late Roman Multipurpose Triumphal Arch.

(Although the bulk of the arch remains buried, Macaulay was reported to have singlehandedly excavated the money basket.)

 

 

PLATE VII

 

Roman Wall Painting.
(115 A.C., A.D. 200.)

 

 

PLATE VIII

 

The Great and Lesser Walls of China.

(This plate was formerly believed to represent the meeting of English and Metric.)

 

 

PLATE IX

 

Leonardo’s Favorite Model.
(From snapshots found in the glove compartment of an abandoned helicopter.)

 

 

PLATE X

 

Long dismissed as a simple connect-the-dots game, this plate was finally identified as the “City Churches” of Sir Christopher Wren as seen from 35,000 ft.

 

 

Detail of Plate X

This enlargement reveals four of Wren’s most famous churches.

 

 

PLATE XI

 

Early Work on the Grand Canyon.

 

 

PLATE XII

 

Tour-i-fell.

 

 

PLATE XIII

 

L’Arc de Defeat.

(A project designed for Paris, Maine, in 1783 and almost immediately abandoned.)

 

 

PLATE XIV

 

Intellectuals Visiting the Tomb of the Unknown Architect.

 

 

PLATE XV

 

Locating the Vanishing Point.

(June 8, 1874)

 

 

PLATE XVI

 

Falling Water.

 

 

PLATE XVII

 

Cinder Block.

(From the “Garden of Architectural Delights.”)

 

 

PLATE XVIII

 

Door Knob.

(From the “Garden of Architectural Delights.”)

 

 

PLATE XIX

 

Manhole Monument.

(From the “Garden of Architectural Delights.”)

 

 

PLATE XX

 

I-Beam.
(From the “Garden of Architectural Delights.”)

 

 

PLATE XXI

 

Fragments from the World of Architecture.

 

A–Acoustical tile B–Plywood counter with stainless steel edge C–Formica (Woodgrain look) D–Styrofoam beam E–Fake brick F–Fake houseplant G–Vinyl Clapboard siding H–Heavy-duty staples I–Astro-turf

 

PLATE XXII

 

A Tribute to the American Shopping Center.

(For years this plate was mistakenly filed under “Great Moments in Parking.”)

 

 

PLATE XXIII

 

Harbor Lights.

(An imaginative example of the successful readaptation of obsolete structures.)

 

 

PLATE XXIV

 

Homage to the Revolving Door.

(After complaining of severe dizziness while gathering the research for this plate, Macaulay was eventually forced to work from photographs.)

 

 

PLATE XXV

 

Homage to the Escalator.

(A rejected proposal for a one-way monument.)

 

 

PLATE XXVI

 

Inflatable Cathedral.

(Yet another abandoned project—this one intended to create a distinguished setting at a moment’s notice.)

 

 

PLATE XXVII

 

Hung Ceiling for the Sistine Chapel.

(One of several unexecuted projects for the renovation of big old rooms.)

 

 

PLATE XXVIII

 

A Tribute to Vinyl Siding.

(Preserving the Past)

 

 

PLATE XXIX

 

A Tribute to Vinyl Siding.

(Preserving the Future)

 

 

PLATE XXX

 

A Partially Excavated Fast Food Restaurant.

(In the foreground are plaster casts of the last few customers. Figs. I and II remain unidentified.)

 

 

PLATE XXXI

 

Gas Station.

 

 

PLATE XXXII

 

Drive-In.

 

 

PLATE XXXIII

 

Mobile Home.