“What do you think you’re doing?” Marcy said as she walked into the little communication room at the back of the bar holding a glass of water in her hand. Macy looked up as her sister eyeballed her and leaned against the doorframe.
“Shh, keep your voice down. I just got Ennis to sleep,” Macy said, pointing to the cot with the one hand not holding her newborn next to her breast.
“You don’t think the radio noise will wake her up?”
“No, Ennis sleeps right through the noise. She’s used to it all by now.”
“Look at you. You’re watching your two-year-old, nursing a newborn and working the radio stations at the same time, when you should be in bed. Mom would be proud of you.”
Macy glanced up at her sister. They rarely spoke about their mother. She wasn’t sure why. She certainly thought about her a lot more since having children of her own. She missed her. She needed her. But whatever perfect images came to her, they were quickly followed by the locked door she last saw her from. That white paneled apartment door haunted her nightmares and many daydreams. Her mother died behind that door saving her girls from herself. What she didn’t know was that she couldn’t have given them the virus. The twins had been immune the entire time. Her mother didn’t have to die alone. Macy had always regretted that. Hearing the moans and wheezing behind that door had haunted her ever since.
With the mere mention of her mother, even with her twin, Macy smiled through it all. She and her sister shared that one certainty. All survivors did. Life was fleeting. Life could be ripped away instantly and there was no one precious or good enough to escape that truth. And their mother had been one of the kindest people brought to this world. She would have done anything to protect her daughters, and she did.
Instead of responding to the comment about her mother, she avoided the entire reference and scoffed at the notion that she should be resting. “I gave birth. I didn’t lose a leg. I’m fine. You’re starting to sound like McCann. I’m not an invalid. Someone’s got to handle this and no one else has taken an interest.”
“Well, you could show me,” Marcy said and put a glass of water on the table in front of her sister. “Drink that. McCann said to make sure you were getting plenty of fluids. I don’t want him getting mad at me for not keeping you hydrated.”
Macy rolled her eyes. “You’d think I wasn’t capable of taking care of myself. And you’re too busy taking care of the things everyone else misses. I’ve got this. Thanks for the water.” There was a look in her sister’s eyes, though. She knew she was avoiding mention of their mother. She just couldn’t right now. It was the hormones probably, due to the smell and feel of the baby in her arms. If she had to talk about her, she was going to bawl…and she couldn’t afford that right now.
Thankfully, Marcy picked up on that. “I’m the one who picks up all the slack. Is that what you’re saying?” Marcy said with a slight edge to her tone.
“Only if you’re not offended by that. I mean, someone’s got to do it. Might as well be you. At least you know a little bit about everything. That’s a good thing, right?” She looked at Marcy to make sure she wasn’t starting off the day pissing off her sister…which was likely. But Marcy stood next to her with a smile across her face.
Macy did a double-take to make sure it wasn’t a fake one or one of those I’m-going-to-get-you-for-this smiles she bore too often. McCann would be proud…it was already past 10:00 a.m. and she’d managed to avoid fighting with her sister so far. A new milestone.
The baby cooed and fisted at her breast again.
“Did it hurt more this time or less?” Marcy asked with a curious expression, peering over her sister to see her new baby niece. “’Cause you yelled a lot this time. I heard you.”
Macy gave her sister a look but decided to not be offended. “You know, it hurt at the time, but as soon as McCann handed her over, I let all that go. I just wanted to make sure she was all there, and I’m still terrified of the virus.”
In a hushed tone, Marcy said, “But there’s not a risk for that anymore, right? I know we were all worried about that when Tehya was born but things have changed, right? Did Clarisse even test Ennis?”
“Heck yeah. She tested her too, right after she was born. Though as far as we know, no child has been born with the virus for a long time.”
Marcy straightened and looked at her in another odd way. Half their communication was always by looks. Macy decided they’d known one another too long. Their unique nuances, no longer a mystery. Macy looked up at her. Something else was on her sister’s mind. She’d let her tell what it was in her own time. Some things couldn’t be rushed.
Marcy looked around the corner at the crowd inside the bar and then whispered, “Are we really going to just wait here for them to come and get us, Macy? How dire is this? Why don’t we just get the hell out of here along with the rest of them?”
“Because we’re safer in numbers. Because this is our family. We’re not just waiting around. We’re doing things. We’re planning.”
“But what if they get here before we’re ready?”
Macy leaned back and took a sip of her water. “That’s a possibility. You’re right. But it’s not our first rodeo, as Rick would say.”
“Well, I don’t want it to be our last either. What if McCann and Mark and the rest of us pack up and go to Missoula like the rest of them? We can wait it out there.”
“We could, but we’re going to stay with our family here a little while longer. I’m monitoring traffic on the radio as we speak. We have scouts. We’re keeping track of them as best we can. We’re going to wait until Clarisse is back and has the equipment she needs and then we’re going to make a decision and fight back like we always have.”
Marcy nodded as she stared at her niece. “All right. I’m just nervous this time, I guess. There’s more at stake now,” she said and ran her hand over the baby’s bald, fuzzy head.
Macy smiled. “Don’t tell me you’re getting attached to your nieces.”
“Stop it. I love them, and I love you. We can’t let anything happen to them, ever.”
Macy’s mind flashed on the white paneled door. She wasn’t sure what made her say it then. “You know, now I see how Mom must have felt when she locked herself in that bathroom and isolated herself to keep us safe. We thought she was being mean. I can’t imagine how hard that was for her.”
Marcy flinched and stood up straight.
Macy had broken their unspoken rule. She wasn’t sure what made her do it. Behind the door she heard her mother’s sobs and pleas repeatedly saying, “I love you girls…” and then the long silence afterward. Macy took a deep breath and smiled at Marcy. Then she put her headphones on as a signal that the conversation was over.
Her twin didn’t say a word. Instead she slipped away.
Macy held her newborn a little closer and got to work.
A few minutes later, after logging in the callsigns of those checking in, Macy pressed the earphone a little harder against her ear to make a message she heard a little clearer. Her eyes widened. She pulled the earphones away and yelled, “McCann!”