Loch knew he should back away from Ainsley, but at that first, sweet taste of whiskey and woman, he knew he was addicted.
He’d never kissed Ainsley before.
Never allowed himself to get this close.
Never allowed himself to even think about it.
Now, it was all he could think about because she was in his arms, and his mouth was on hers. He knew he should back away and forget that this ever happened.
But he couldn’t.
Ainsley pulled away first, but he was the one to take two steps back, his chest heaving. He could still taste her on his tongue, still craved her.
“What…what was that?” Her words came out with a bit of a bite, and he knew he’d deserve it if she punched him in the gut—or worse.
“You said I didn’t see you,” he growled out. “I see you, Ainsley. And like I said, that’s the problem.”
He’d repeated the words, yet he still didn’t know what they meant. Not really. He needed to figure out what the hell was going on in his head. But it was as if something had come over him. He hadn’t been able to hold back from acting on the thoughts that had been in the back of his mind for longer than he cared to admit.
Ainsley’s chest rose and fell as she stared at him, and he couldn’t help but notice the hard points of her nipples pressing against her shirt. He’d done his best not to look before, to never allow the parts of her that were woman enter his mind for fear that it would ruin it all.
Ainsley was his…everything. Damn it. His best friend. His confidante. Part of his soul.
She couldn’t be more.
Not when he’d fuck it all up and ruin whatever they had on a chance that could never work out.
He wasn’t the guy women loved for long. They left when they got tired. His job, his past was too hard for them. They weren’t safe.
Ainsley, his Ainsley, wouldn’t be safe.
She shook her head then took a step toward him.
He didn’t move back.
“You can’t just…you can’t just change things.” She was right in front of him now, so close he could feel the heat of her on his skin. There was something in her expression he couldn’t make out, and it worried him because he could always read her face.
At least he thought he could.
Maybe he’d been wrong this entire time.
Maybe he was wrong now.
Loch didn’t know what to say, but when she put her hand on his chest, he knew he’d be making one more mistake tonight.
Throwing caution to the wind, he lowered his head, took her mouth, and lost himself in her.
She didn’t pull away, didn’t take a step back. Instead, she put her other hand on Loch’s chest, her fingernails digging into his shirt. Their kiss was rough, needy, all tongues and teeth.
Somehow, he pushed her back to the couch, needing more of her. Her hands moved to his back, sliding up under his shirt so her skin was on his.
“More,” she breathed, and he growled.
“Done.”
Then, he had his hands on her ass, lifting her up so she sat on the edge of the couch, her legs spread, and his body fitting firmly between her thighs. He wanted her pants off, her clothes in a heap beside them. He wanted to be inside her, wanted to touch her, wanted to know her.
She bit his jaw, and he moved a bit to take her mouth, his hands roaming over her body. She wrapped her legs around his waist, arching into him when he gently bit down on her neck.
“Loch.”
He liked his name on her lips. Wanted more of it. When he tugged on the bottom of her shirt, she lifted her arms above her head so he could strip it off. Then, he was staring down at her bra-clad breasts, his mouth watering as he finally gazed where he’d told himself never to look.
He cupped one full breast in his hand, his thumb gently grazing her nipple through the lace, and met her gaze. He didn’t say anything, wasn’t sure he could. And since she didn’t say anything either, Loch figured they were both thinking the same thing.
One word could shatter the moment.
One word could remind them both that this was a bad fucking idea.
So, he didn’t say a damn word.
And neither did she.
He leaned down, kissed between her breasts, sucked on her nipples through her bra before reaching around to undo the clasp. Her breasts fell heavily into his hands, and he covered them with kisses, licks, and attention. She moaned, her hand running through his hair, reminding him that he needed to get a haircut.
That thought was cut short when she raked her nails down his back, reminding him where he was and exactly what he was doing. He needed more of her, needed all of her. He shifted their position so her feet were on the ground and he could pull down her pants. She helped him, working on his shirt and belt at the same time. Soon, they were both standing naked in front of each other, years of history and who they were to one another pulsating between them even as they ignored it.
Then, they were on the couch, his body hovering over hers as he kissed her again, her legs spread, and his lower body pressed firmly to hers. He didn’t move, didn’t thrust, not when he wanted to savor.
But Ainsley apparently wasn’t about to let him go slow.
She trailed her foot down the back of his calf, pressing him closer to her. He pulled away slightly, knowing they needed a condom before they did anything. Instead, he slid down her body, leaving kisses and long licks along the way.
When he settled himself between her legs, he groaned then spread her with his fingers so he could study her down below. He looked up into her face, and she stared back at him with hooded eyes, licking her lips.
“I have a condom in my purse.”
He wasn’t going to think about the whys of that, so he gave her a tight nod then lowered his head, taking her into his mouth. She bucked as he sucked on her clit, licking along her slit and using his fingers to tease her. She shook under him, under his care, and when she came on his face, he didn’t stop licking at her cunt, wanting her to go over the edge one more time before he took her.
Hard.
When she came down for the second time, her sweetness was branded on his tongue. He stood up, his cock bouncing against his stomach. He made his way to her purse, rummaging around until he found the single condom tucked into a pocket. He turned back to her, opening the package and sliding the condom over his length as he met her gaze.
She swallowed hard, her chest rising as she sucked in a breath. Loch couldn’t help but watch the way her pink-tipped breasts rose and fell as she did so. It made his mouth water. All he wanted to do was fill her, be with her, have her as his.
And because Loch knew he’d look into her eyes as he filled her and, if he weren’t careful, fuck everything up more than he already had, he prowled toward her, took her hips in his hands, and flipped her over onto her stomach. She let out a gasp then gripped the edge of the couch, looking over her shoulder at him.
He’d known she was beautiful, had done his best to ignore that fact the entire time he’d known her. But right then, with her eyes dark with pleasure, her lips swollen from his kisses, and her body arched, ready for him, he knew he’d never forget this moment for as long as he lived.
Then, he was on her, his hands digging into her hips as he slid inside.
Bliss.
Pure fucking bliss.
She was his drug, his agony, his everything.
He pushed even deeper, their breaths coming in pants as he tried not to think about the meaning of the thoughts that had just rushed through his mind.
Ainsley’s head fell back, and he slid in and out of her, slowly at first since she was so damn tight and hot that he didn’t want to hurt her. Then, faster. Soon, he was pounding in and out of her, her lush ass pushing back at him, meeting him thrust for thrust. He slid one hand around in front of her, sliding a finger over her swollen clit peeking out from below its hood.
Then, she came again, squeezing his cock, and he couldn’t hold back anymore. He slammed into her without abandon, sweat sliding down the middle of his back as he took her, branded her, marked her. And when he came, he shouted her name, one hand on her breast, the other probably leaving bruises on her hip.
As Loch fought to catch his breath, he lay next to Ainsley and wondered what the fuck they were going to do next. The fact that he’d slept with Ainsley without thinking of the consequences of his actions, of their actions, told him that he was the asshole she’d called him earlier in the evening.
“I need to go.” Ainsley suddenly shot up, pulling on her clothes as she practically scurried away from him.
“Ainsley.” He hated talking, hated sharing his feelings and what he was thinking, but he couldn’t let the best thing in his life—other than his daughter—walk out of the house as if she’d done something wrong.
Because if anyone had done anything wrong, it was him.
It was always him.
“Don’t. I need to get home and work and…and…fuck it, Loch. I need to think.” She turned then, wearing only her pants and a bra as she stared at him. “Let me think, because I have no idea what just happened.”
He stood up then, taking care of the condom in a tissue before pulling up his jeans. “I don’t know either.”
“And words like that aren’t helping, so I’m going to go, get some sleep, and maybe, in the morning, we’ll figure out what the hell just happened. Because we’ve never done that before, and from the way you’re looking at me, I don’t know if you regret it already or not.”
He didn’t say anything. He didn’t have the words. Ainsley’s expression fell.
“I see.”
“Ainsley.” She didn’t see. He didn’t, so how could she?
“Don’t. Don’t say anything. I can’t deal with this right now and, frankly, I don’t think either of us should.” She looked up again when she was fully dressed. He could see the pain in her eyes, and he had no idea how to fix it.
He always fixed things.
But he didn’t know if he could fix them.
Ainsley didn’t say another word and, because he was just as lost as she apparently was, he let her walk out the door without stopping her. He hadn’t meant to kiss her, hadn’t meant to touch her, hadn’t meant to learn what she felt like beneath him.
And yet, he had. And now they both had to deal with what happened next.
He could still taste her on his tongue, and he didn’t want to wash it down with whiskey or beer. Instead, he pulled on the rest of his clothes, grabbed his gear, and headed to his gym. He’d work off the feelings racing inside him at what felt like a thousand miles per hour.
He’d never let himself think of Ainsley as anything more than his best friend before, and that had been for a reason. He didn’t do relationships. He fucked them up and pushed people away. He’d had to do it in his old job—to keep them safe, and to keep himself safe, as well.
Loch needed Ainsley in his life, he had for years. Because she was his rock, his anchor. He knew it wasn’t fair to either of them for him to only think of her that way. Besides, what could he give her?
Nothing.
Not to mention, he could ruin Ainsley’s relationship with his daughter if he pursued anything with Ainsley. So, he’d ignore what happened. Act as if everything were fine, and the two of them could just move on.
It had been a mistake.
It couldn’t happen again.
He’d bury what he was feeling about their night deep down and hope to hell and back Ainsley didn’t hate him come morning.
He already hated himself enough.
Loch stuffed his hands into his pockets as the temperature dropped with the setting of the sun and walked the few blocks to his gym. He could have driven, but he needed the walk and the cool air to clear his head. He couldn’t get Ainsley from his mind. She’d always been there, but never like this.
Damn it.
As soon as he turned the corner, he immediately knew something was wrong. Lights from two police cars blinked at him, and he could see where they were parked.
Right in front of his gym.
His pulse raced as he jogged forward. There was a barricade up, and he couldn’t get through, but he could hear well enough to know that something was wrong.
Deadly wrong.
“We found the body in the back,” one of the officers whispered to another. “We better call in homicide. I don’t know if we can handle this ourselves. There’s never been a murder in Whiskey before.”
Body.
Murder.
And all near Loch’s damn gym.
He knew all about dead bodies, had seen more than he could count in his life. But he had a feeling this one would hit too close to home. It had already. Literally. Chills broke out over his skin, and he prayed to God that it wasn’t someone he knew.
He quickly messaged his family in a group text to see if they were okay, grateful they each responded saying “goodnight.” He didn’t mention why he’d texted, nor did he text Ainsley as he’d just seen her, but he swallowed hard, knowing that this was only the beginning.
There had been a murder in Whiskey.
And from the look on the officer’s face, Loch had a feeling he was going to be in the middle of it all.
Again.