“Who was that?” Ainsley asked, pulling the hem of Loch’s shirt down. “And why do you look like you’ve either just talked to a ghost or you want to hit something. Maybe both.”
Loch leaned down and kissed her quickly, surprising them both if the look in his eyes was anything to go by. She wasn’t sure she’d ever get used to the idea that this was Loch or that they were doing this, but maybe she could.
Once they talked. Because that sounded like a conversation Ainsley really wanted to have. But they were going to talk no matter what. Now.
“Let’s get cleaned up.” He cleared this throat. “Then we’ll go to my place so we can talk.”
“And the phone call?” she pressed. “Is that going to be part of the conversation?”
“It’s part of it.” He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. The fact that he was still naked in his office was not lost on her, and it was really hard to pay attention to the severity of the situation when his cock was still semi-hard, and she still had his semen inside her.
And on that note…
“Can I, uh…have a tissue or something?”
He cursed and then went to a cabinet, bringing out a clean towel. Then he slid between her legs, his eyes on hers as he gently cleaned her up. When he was done, he used the same towel to wipe himself down before tossing it into the trashcan next to his desk. Without another word, the two of them got dressed, her stripping off his shirt so he could wear it again. It felt weird to get back into sweaty clothes after everything that had just happened, but she had a feeling something even more important was yet to come that evening.
“Your house?” she asked.
“If that’s okay. Do we need to stop by your place?”
She shook her head. “I have a change of clothes in my bag in the locker room, as well as some at your house. Though, when I locked the door, it was so we could talk, not so we could…you know.” She knew she was blushing, but he wasn’t smiling. Something was wrong, and she was finally going to find out what it was. “I hope the rest of the gym doesn’t know what we were doing in here.”
“My office is soundproofed.” At her look, he shrugged. “We were trying out the tech for the security arm of the business. If anyone says anything, fuck them. Let’s just get to the house. Okay?”
He was on edge, and not from what they’d just done. It had to be because of what they were going to talk about, as well as that phone call. So, when they quickly left his office and made their way to the locker rooms to grab their bags, she ignored any looks. Thankfully, she didn’t think there were many, if any at all.
Loch talked to one of his guys at the front, and then they were at her car. “I walked,” he said as he got into her driver’s seat. She wasn’t a fan of driving, so she didn’t mind. It was Loch, after all, he liked being in control. And as she’d just had him inside her, proving that, it made sense.
She wasn’t nervous, not really. Not when something was changing between them. So, when they got to Loch’s place, and he told her to shower and change into her normal clothes while he did the same, she went about the motions, wondering what he could be hiding, grateful that he was finally going to tell her. They couldn’t work it out if he kept it to himself.
The fact that something else could change between them after this had occurred to her as well, but she knew Loch. Loved him.
He meant something.
He meant everything.
And so does his daughter, she thought when she walked out and heard him talking to Misty on the phone. He was just hanging up when he caught sight of her and nodded.
“She was off to play with her grandma, and I didn’t tell her you were here or I’d have let you talk to her. I want to get this over with.”
She raised a brow. “Over with?”
“It’s not an easy thing to go over, and it’s complicated as hell, so I don’t know where to start. But that means I just need to start. Okay?”
She reached forward and cupped his face. When he didn’t pull back, she counted that as a win. “Okay. Tell me, Loch. Just…just tell me.”
He blew out a breath. “Just don’t hate me when I’m done.” When she lowered her hand, they didn’t move apart, remained so close that it was all she could do not to wrap herself around him and tell him that everything would be okay. She wasn’t sure that was the truth anyway.
“I could never hate you.” But she was still scared, that much she could admit to herself. If something had scared him enough to act this way, then she should be concerned, as well. “When I’m angry with you, and even the times I want to kick you in the shin for holding back and hiding…sometimes, I want to be able to hate you. but I can’t.” And maybe that was the problem.
Loch moved forward, tracing his finger over her cheek. She met his gaze, refusing to close her eyes and lean into him in case she missed something.
He studied her face for a few more moments before tugging her hand and bringing her to the couch. The same spot where he’d made love to her, with her. The same piece of furniture where they’d had endless nights of watching bad movies and bingeing TV shows. The same cushions where she’d splayed on top of him, wrung out after a particularly hard workout where he gave her no quarter. Where she cuddled with Misty, and where she watched Loch hold his baby girl after a long, sleepless night of cholic.
That couch held so many layered memories, but now she knew it might hold one more.
It was where he’d tell her what he’d been hiding.
Quite a lot of sentiment and meaning for a piece of wood and fabric.
“That phone call in the office, it was from someone I knew long ago. Someone I thought I’d left behind years ago.” He frowned. “Turns out, I couldn’t have been more wrong.”
Ainsley reached out and gripped his hand, the calluses of his fingers under her palm reminding her that Loch had always worked with his hands. Had always been a man of his mind and his body.
“Just tell me.”
“It’s a long and complicated story, and I’m having trouble figuring out where to start.”
“Then start chronologically. That’s what I tell my students. Start at the beginning if you don’t know how to set up an equation.”
He gave her a small smile before his eyes filled with dread. Then he continued. “You know I used to work in security, but I was always vague on the details.”
She knew her smile was weak, but it was real. “I always thought you liked the idea that people thought you were a spy with a secret or something like that.”
Loch shook his head. “No, not really. It was just…there wasn’t much to tell. I used to be a hired bodyguard for those who needed me. I did recon and other missions that were legal, but most were for people with the type of money I could never hope to have. My boss and mentor, the owner of the company, taught me everything I knew and had strong morals. That meant we were never mercenaries or the type of guys you read about who take the wrong jobs and end up either getting innocent people killed or getting killed themselves.”
He ran his thumb along her skin, and she swallowed hard, knowing this wasn’t going to end well.
“Jason, my mentor, was a good man, but he didn’t always hire good people. He brought in the best, and because he did that, sometimes, those people came with their own baggage. One of them, Riker, was a competitive asshole who was damn good at his job but didn’t mind cutting corners. And he never said no to a job, no matter the danger or lines he’d cross to get it done.”
At the mention of Riker’s name, a chill slid down Ainsley’s back, but she kept listening, knowing there was more to come.
“Riker was, is a mercenary. He wanted my job, wanted Jason’s. He figured that if he kept in Jason’s good graces, kept being the best, no matter the cost, he’d get the company once Jason retired and could use it for his own not-so-aboveboard purposes. I left because of Misty, but I also left because I didn’t want to end up dead or in jail because Riker didn’t know when to stop. Plus, that world is for younger men. I might not be old and have many years until I’ll call myself that, but throwing my body headfirst into danger wasn’t something I wanted to do. So, yeah, I came home and built the gym and the security business on the side to keep my family and friends safe from the dangers of the world…and the world I used to live in.”
Ainsley frowned. “What do you mean by that?” She didn’t like that he talked of his death as if it were almost a certainty. No wonder just the mere mention of Riker’s name had made her want to burrow into Loch’s side and never let go.
“I worked with some bad people. It didn’t start out like that, but in the end, it’s what happened. Jason let in the wrong people like Riker, and I’ve always been cautious about what I let out into the world. Hard to do when one brother was a cop whose injury and past cases got national attention, and when the other brother is a freaking reporter. Not to mention the fact that Tabby had issues out in Denver, and I could never go into hiding.” He paused, looking into Ainsley’s gaze. “Not that I would ever do that. My family is everything. That’s why I left.”
“But you’re saying Riker and the others would want to…what? Hurt you? Because you left? But why?” She wasn’t sure she was quite understanding, but then again, this wasn’t her world, and she didn’t know all the details.
“Me leaving could be part of it,” Loch agreed. “Riker never liked losing. And he lost a lot when I was around. I was always Jason’s number-two man and I had more clearance than he did. I didn’t set out to be that way.”
She shook her head. “You’re Loch. Of course, you set out to be the best. You might not have thought you were doing it, but you don’t like to lose, and you don’t like to be second-best to even yourself. You put everything you have into whatever you’re doing.”
He snorted, giving her hand a squeeze. “That’s true, though, in the end, I didn’t want what Jason had. Yet Jason didn’t agree, and Riker resented that. I’m no longer part of that life, even though I still have a few contacts. My life is now my family. My daughter. My work.” He paused. “You.”
She warmed from the inside but didn’t say anything, knowing there was still more to come.
“Riker never understood that, but while he was always in the back of my mind, I moved on. I didn’t want to be part of that life anymore, and I didn’t let myself be. I figured Riker could have the company if he wanted. I told Jason my concerns, but my old mentor told me that everything would be okay. In the end, the only way to make that work for him was to, apparently, give me the fucking company.”
Ainsley blinked. “What…what are you talking about?”
“Jason’s dead,” Loch said bluntly. “Didn’t find out until I got a letter from a lawyer saying I now own the company and have some funds I didn’t have before.” He pinched the bridge of his nose again, and Ainsley moved closer so they were touching each other. His body radiated tension, and all she wanted to do was hold him and make everything better. But this was the real world, and that wasn’t how things truly worked.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. She hadn’t known about the man, Jason, before tonight, but Loch had called him a mentor. And from the pain in his voice, he was also a friend, and Loch grieved for the man. With everything else going on around them, however, she wasn’t sure how much time he’d actually given himself to acknowledge that grief—if he had at all.
“I’m sorry, too.” He lifted his arm, and she sank into him when he pulled her close, kissing the top of her head. “I’m sorry he’s dead, and I’m sorry I don’t know why. I called guys I know up there, and they thought it was natural causes. And as much as I want to believe that, there’s some part of me that can’t quite do that when Riker’s in the picture.”
She sighed. “Tell me.”
“I don’t know what happened to Jason, but I’ll find out. I’ve talked to the authorities there, as well, but it’ll take time. Until then? I have to figure out what to do with the company and the money I now have. I don’t want any of it, Ainsley. Why didn’t the man see that? Why didn’t he see what I wanted when I left it all behind? Now, he’s put it all on my shoulders when I never wanted any of it to begin with.”
“What are you going to do?” She didn’t know what owning a company like that entailed, but she figured it was a lot of work and that nothing good could come of it. It didn’t help that she had no idea what the company, as he called it, actually did. He was still being vague, but in a sense, she understood. Some things didn’t need to have every detail laid out until it was absolutely necessary. The fact that he was talking about it now, even in some detail, meant that it was important.
“I’m going to dismantle and sell the damn thing. Close it. Whatever legally has to be done so it’s not in my name and won’t hurt anyone. Because while we might have done a lot of good, that kind of information—information that included the personal details and secrets of high-ranking people—in the wrong hands, in Riker’s hands, could do a whole lot of bad. Someone could use Jason’s good name to do some terrible things that I don’t even want to think of. But, right now, I’m the owner, and I’m not dealing with it. Not yet. Because, first, I need to deal with what’s going on in Whiskey.”
She swallowed hard. “You’re talking about Dennis.” Somehow, she’d known all of it was connected.
He nodded. “The night I got the notice about the company, I also got a note I couldn’t trace telling me that I needed to watch my back and that: it will be mine. As there’s only one thing in my life right now that those words could allude to, I immediately thought of Riker. And as the investigation with Dennis continued, it started to point to that Riker was connected to that, as well. And then the call came in.”
Ainsley sat up straighter. “You’re saying Riker had something to do with Dennis’s death? And that, what? He’s framing you?”
“I don’t know if Riker killed Dennis himself or if he’s just using the other man’s death to get at me. But, at first, I thought he had to have something to do with it. And after his phone call today? I know it.”
“What did he want?”
“To tell me that he’s watching me.” He paused. “And that I know what he wants. I’m guessing the company…something I’m not going to give him.”
“So that’s why you pushed me away?” she asked. “Why Misty is with her grandparents? Because you’re afraid of what Riker might do?”
He gave her a tight nod. “Misty is in a house I put the best security on. It’s even better than mine because of the design of the house itself. She’s safer there until I figure out what’s going on. As for you. Hell, Ainsley, I thought if you weren’t near me, you wouldn’t be a target, but you’re part of my life in every way. There’s not much I can do to make it look like you aren’t a part of me. And, yeah, there’s a lot of other shit that we need to deal with between us, but I pushed you away because of Riker. I might be paranoid, but I want you safe.”
“It’s not being paranoid if they really are out to get you.” She’d known there was a reason he’d hurt her, but he wasn’t exactly forgiven yet. They had much more to talk about outside of what they had so far, but the fact that he’d trusted her with this much had to mean something.
Of course, it meant something.
She just had to protect her heart even as she fell just a little bit more for her best friend.
He kissed her then, making her toes curl.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen next. But I need you safe.”
“If you need me safe, I need to not be in my head all the time, wondering what the fuck we're doing. So that might have to be something we actually talk about. Eventually.” She hated even asking, but communication was key, and she wasn’t about to be patted on the head and told that everything was okay.
“If I knew that, Ainsley, I wouldn't be as growly as I am.”
She snorted. “You're always growly. So that's saying something. But, really, what are you going to do?”
“I’m going to kiss you.”
Her skin heated. “Loch.”
He let out a long breath. “I’m going to talk to the detectives again, tell them what might be happening, even though it’s all far-fetched and doesn’t make any sense. I didn’t say anything before the call because it was all just conjecture. But, now? Well, it’s still that, but now I have more in my mind saying it’s connected. As for you? Hell, Ainsley, I couldn’t walk away from you. I never could. I don’t know what’s going to happen next between us, but I can’t stay away. So, if you’ll have me, I’ll try not to fuck things up more than I already have.”
And when he kissed her again, she knew it was enough.
He was enough.
She just hoped she was, as well.