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“Where’s the damn breadsticks?” Malajia asked, craning her neck to look for the waiter. Finally seeing him approach, she smiled and clapped her hands together. “Yes,” she rejoiced, eyeing the steam flowing from the basket of warm bread. She ignored the drinks that were placed on the table as she reached for the food.
“You gonna save us some?” Mark teased, watching Malajia place two breadsticks onto her saucer. Smiling, Malajia took another one from the basket and put it on Mark’s plate. As a reward, Mark leaned over and gave her a kiss on the lips.
Chasity frowned in disgust. “Can y’all just not do that?” she jeered, picking up her raspberry margarita.
Malajia sucked her teeth. “Oh shut up,” she shot back. “As many times as we had to watch you and Jason suck face, we owe you back.”
Jason chuckled as he took a sip of his drink and Chasity just shook her head. The four of them had arrived at the Italian restaurant in downtown Paradise Valley nearly fifteen minutes ago. Everything seemed to go smooth during the short time; Mark and Malajia hadn’t argued yet. But what Mark and Malajia didn’t know was that Jason and Chasity secretly made a bet to see how long that would last.
“I wonder how long it’s gonna take for the food to come out?” Malajia asked, grabbing another breadstick.
Chasity moved the basket away from Malajia. “Probably soon,” she answered.
“Why are you moving the bread?” Malajia frowned. “You tryna call me greedy?”
“Yes,” Chasity replied without a qualm. “You’re about to be a fat ass.”
“I don’t get fat,” Malajia boasted with a wave of her hand.
“That button that’s about to pop on your shirt says otherwise.” Chasity threw back. Malajia quickly looked down at her long-sleeved red keyhole top, which had one button to secure the fabric on her chest. The button was in place, though she did admit that her breasts seemed a bit larger than normal. But then again, that was normal around her period.
“It is not,” Malajia muttered, biting her food.
Mark just shook his head at the banter as he picked up his drink. He took a sip and nearly spat it out. “What the hell is this?” he scoffed, setting the small glass of brown liquid down.
“What did you order?” Jason asked.
“Scotch,” Mark replied, picking up the glass again and examining it.
“Then that’s what it is,” Chasity muttered, sipping her drink.
“Why did you do that?” Jason questioned Mark, confused. “Do you know how much that small glass is gonna cost you?”
Mark shrugged. “No, how much?”
Jason picked up the drink menu and pointed to the line item. “That drink is forty dollars a glass,” he informed, much to Mark’s horror.
“It costs what?!” Mark exclaimed, snatching the menu from Jason. “What the hell?” he admonished. “That shit ain’t worth no forty bucks!”
Chasity busted out laughing. “That’s what your hype ass gets,” she teased.
“Naw, they gonna have to put this back in the bottle, I barely drank any,” Mark protested.
“Dawg, they can’t do that,” Jason declared. “You’re gonna have to eat that charge and drink that drink.”
Mark slammed the menu down on the table. “This is some straight bullshit,” he fumed. “I ain’t got all that money. Especially not for no old ass scotch.” He looked at Malajia, who was concentrating on eating her breadstick. “Babe let me borrow forty dollars.”
“I ain’t got it, cuz,” Malajia replied instantaneously.
Mark sucked his teeth at her before turning to Chasity. “Hey Chaz—”
“Fuck out my face,” Chasity bristled, before Mark could even finish his question.
Mark looked at Jason, smiling a hopeful smile. “Bro?”
“No?” Jason jeered, earning laughter from the girls.
Defeated, Mark sat back in his seat. “Well, there goes that printer ink money that I owe you Jase,” he huffed.
“Yeah, like you were actually gonna pay that back,” Jason sneered, reaching for a breadstick.
“Y’all are some ignorant ass friends,” Mark hissed at Jason and Chasity, then turned to Malajia. “And you. How you gonna laugh at your man?”
Malajia scowled at him. “Don’t get mad at me because your simple ass ordered that mess. You should’ve already known that scotch wasn’t gonna be cheap,” she bit back. “Tryna be sophisticated and shit.”
“You’re on couple time out,” Mark snapped, slamming his hand on the table. “We’re not together for the rest of the night.”
“So?!” Malajia yelled, nudging him with her elbow. “You’re still on time out from pissing me off earlier.” She snatched the breadstick from his plate. “Gimme my damn breadstick back.”
As Mark and Malajia continued their quarrel, Chasity turned to Jason. “Less than a half hour,” she observed, glancing at her watch. “You owe me an hour massage.”
Jason rolled his eyes. “Fine,” he agreed, remembering the terms of the bet.
“And I mean a whole hour,” she stressed. Jason successfully concealed his amusement. “You gets none until you finish.”
“Okay,” he agreed, rubbing his eye with his hand.
“If one of them throws food, you have to type my next paper,” Chasity reminded. She laughed when Malajia tossed a piece of her breadstick at Mark’s face.
“Shit,” Jason complained, putting his hand over his face.
“I have one due Tuesday,” Chasity mocked. “Be prepared to type those ten pages on Sunday.”
“Fiiiine,” Jason groaned, picking up his drink. Once he took a sip and sat it back down, he slammed his hand on the table repeatedly to get Mark and Malajia’s attention. “Cut it the fuck out,” he barked at them. “We didn’t come here to listen to all that.”
“You mad as shit right now,” Malajia sneered at Jason, as the waiter brought out their food.
“Y’all just made him lose a bet,” Chasity chuckled.
“What bet?” Mark asked, confused.
“Don’t worry about it,” Jason hissed through clenched teeth.
“We’re sorry. We’re good now,” Mark assured, putting his hand up. Once the waiter left the table, the couples began to eat their food. Mark took a bite of his lasagna and nodded. “This is pretty good,” he mused. He looked over at Malajia, who was sprinkling pepper on her seafood alfredo. “Yo, let me taste that.”
Malajia pushed Mark’s fork away from her plate. “Mark, don’t touch my damn food,” she snapped. “You already know I’m hungry. I should punch you in your neck muscle.”
“How you still hungry and you ate all those damn breadsticks?” Mark argued.
“Don’t worry about what the hell I ate. I just don’t want you to have none of my fuckin’ food,” Malajia fussed, flicking her hand at him repeatedly.
“Here we go again,” Jason mumbled, putting a piece of his stuffed rigatoni into his mouth.
“This is your fault, you know,” Chasity calmly stated, voice low.
Jason rolled his eyes. “Yes baby, I know.”
“Next time I say I don’t want to do something, maybe you’ll listen to me, huh?” Chasity jeered to him, cutting a piece of her salmon.
“Yes baby, I will,” Jason agreed, picking up his glass of water.
“You know what? I don’t like how you’re chewing right now. You’re on couple time out,” Malajia fumed to Mark, pushing her plate away from her.
“What does my chewing have to do with anything?” Mark asked, face masked with perplexity. He knew that Malajia was a firecracker and was used to their banter, but she seemed to be going off more than usual.
“I just can’t look at you right now,” Malajia scoffed, pushing her chair back from the table. “I’m going to the bathroom. Chaz can you walk me?”
Chasity let out a loud sigh. “Seriously?”
“Chasity, please go with her, before she starts throwing more food,” Jason pleaded
Chasity sucked her teeth as she pushed her chair away from the table. “I always get dragged into her bullshit,” she complained, standing up.
“I love you,” Jason said to her.
“Shut up,” Chasity hissed at him, before signaling Malajia with her finger. “Come the hell on,” she commanded of her.
Malajia folded her arms and stomped off along with Chasity.
Once they were out of sight Mark turned to Jason and put his hands up. “I don’t know what the fuck just happened,” he admitted. “Can you believe that shit?”
Jason nodded. “Yep, sure can,” he answered honestly, much to Mark’s annoyance, who just sucked his teeth.
––––––––
“Jason can you hurry up and park so I can get the fuck out this car?” Malajia bristled, removing her seatbelt. “Mark has been breathing on me for the past ten minutes and I’m about to punch him.”
“Yo, you trippin’ Malajia,” Mark seethed, snatching off his seatbelt. “You’re on my damn nerves. You about to make me break up with your ass.”
Malajia leaned over and got in Mark’s face. “I promise on everything I love that I don’t give two shits!” she hollered, clapping her hands together.
Chasity pinched the bridge of her nose with two fingers as Jason stared out the car window, unenthused. Once he pulled Chasity’s car into an empty parking space in front of the girls’ house, he turned the car off.
“Well, this has been fun,” Jason said, voice dripping with sarcasm.
“You two get the fuck out of my car before I turn it back on and run you over with it,” Chasity threatened.
“My bad y’all. It’s her,” Mark apologized, stepping out of the car along with the others. “Her damn mood swings are out of control.”
“Whatever,” Malajia fumed, folding her arms.
“No, he’s right. Take your ass in the house,” Chasity demanded, nudging Malajia in the direction of the door. Without saying a word, Malajia walked to the door and went inside.
“Chasity, talk to her please,” Mark begged once the door closed. “I don’t know what’s wrong with her.”
“Sure, why not? ‘Cause that’s just how I pictured spending the rest of my evening. Figuring out what’s wrong with your damn girlfriend,” Chasity shot back sarcastically.
“Okay, everybody just chill out,” Jason cut in. “Mark go take a walk, man,” he urged.
Mark sighed and walked off in the direction of their house.
Jason turned to Chasity. “I’ll make this up to you,” he said to her.
“Yeah, you better,” Chasity huffed.
Jason gave her a quick kiss and sent her into the house. Once inside, Chasity saw Malajia sitting on the couch with her arms folded and a scowl on her face.
“What is your damn problem, Malajia?” Chasity spat out, sitting down on one of the accent chairs. “You’re acting crazy. And if I’m saying that, then there’s an issue.”
Malajia sighed. “I know, I know,” she admitted, running her hands through her hair. “I’m sorry, but it’s this damn PMS. I can’t take it anymore.”
Chasity frowned. “Your period still hasn’t come on?”
“No and it’s pissing me off,” Malajia fumed. “I need for this to come on so I can stop feeling like this—so I can stop acting like this.” She leaned her head back against the cushions. “I swear, I’m about to take a weekend trip home just to see my doctor so he can put me back on those pills... I shouldn’t have stopped taking them in the first place. Now I gotta deal with this bullshit.”
Chasity twirled some of her hair around her finger as she fixed a gaze on Malajia. “Mel... Are you sure you’re not pregnant?” she asked after several seconds.
“I’m not,” Malajia answered confidently.
“Are you sure though?” Chasity questioned. “I kinda went through the same thing when I was.”
“Chaz, I’m not pregnant okay,” Malajia insisted, traces of annoyance in her voice. “I’ve gone through this before...maybe not this extreme, but I’ve gone through it.”
Chasity put her hands up in surrender. “Okay.”
“It’ll come on,” Malajia asserted, standing from the couch. “Do we have anymore cookies?”
Chasity shook her head. “You ate them all yesterday,” she calmly reminded.
“What about your stash?” Malajia pressed, impatient. “I know you got one.”
Chasity stared at her.
“Is that a ‘no’?” Malajia hissed. When Chasity refused to answer, Malajia flagged her with her hand. “Fine, I know where Sidra’s is. I’ll get hers,” she muttered, heading for the steps.
