CHAPTER 7
NOT WILLING TO SINK
Let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.
GALATIANS 6:9
WHEN YOU SAY YES to walking on water, you must immediately resolve that sinking is not an option. You won’t quit. You won’t give up. You won’t miss your chance to show the world who God is through your acts of service. This isn’t something you conclude as your foot is in midair, ready to get wet. Or when you’re flying halfway across the world to serve on the mission field. Or when you submit your paperwork to be a foster parent. It must be a predetermined, nonnegotiable stipulation. You are not going to give yourself an out.
Peter had the great privilege of being the poster child for God’s limitless abilities. His walk on water showed us that God can override the laws of physics and nature. But the minute the disciple took his eyes off of Jesus and looked around, Peter was struck with fear. He realized he was doing something that was impossible. He started focusing inward, at his own inabilities and insecurities, instead of continuing to trust in Jesus with the same faith he had to get out of the boat in the first place. Peter became overwhelmed and gave up.
People sink for many reasons. They may give up serving others because they’re not sure they have enough faith to keep up the fight. They may think that what they set out to do is too hard. They may quit because they don’t see immediate results. They may feel stretched too thin, juggling too many priorities with a life of service. Whatever the reason, the resulting frustration and stress can make anyone feel miserable and want to give up.
Rely on God
When we try to manage our lives and serve others in our own strength, we run a race that’s impossible to win. The only way to achieve the goal is to start each day with God’s hope and end each day with His peace. I’m not talking about setting aside time out of your day to have devotions and commune with God, though those things are obviously important to do and will benefit your faith walk. I’m talking about intentionally assessing and, if need be, shifting your perspective when you wake up and when you lay your head down at night.
Of course, we must focus on the right things not only at the beginning and end of each day. In the hours between, we must rely on God’s strength and guidance. It’s important to live each day in godly wisdom. When times get tough and we feel discouraged, confused, or afraid, we must press into God and remember that “when [we are] weak, then [we are] strong” (2 Corinthians 12:10, NIV).
As I’ve begun to intentionally start and end the day with God, I’ve seen tremendous changes in my attitude and my effectiveness. Let me share some of what I’ve learned.
A Day That Begins with Hope
Beep-beep-beep-beep. The alarm sounds and rouses you from a deep sleep. Maybe you groan and hit the snooze button. Maybe you turn it off and hit the ground running. The one thing I’m sure you do is start thinking of the list of things you have to do today. Make a final review of the morning’s presentation before the board. Take the baby to the doctor. Meet with the bank lender. Research senior living facilities for Mom.
Sometimes we wake up with worry; concerns weigh heavily on our mind. We are anxiously wondering about the results of a lab report from the doctor. Or who our daughter was with last night. Or how we’re going to pay our mortgage this month. I tend to wake up thinking about the various people I know and am praying for. Like the father who desperately needs a job so he and his family won’t get evicted. Or the girl I met at church who is having second thoughts about staying in the discipleship program.
Our minds are inundated with a nonstop barrage of responsibilities, worries, expectations, concerns, and prayers that affect almost every aspect of our lives. That’s exactly why it’s crucial that we start each day with God’s hope. We deliberately remind ourselves that God is in control of everything; that we must cast our cares on Him; that we must remember He has the power to change people and situations. Read this beautiful passage from Scripture:
God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,
to the woman who diligently seeks.
It’s a good thing to quietly hope,
quietly hope for help from God.
It’s a good thing when you’re young
to stick it out through the hard times.
When life is heavy and hard to take,
go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions:
Wait for hope to appear.
Don’t run from trouble. Take it full-face.
The “worst” is never the worst.
Why? Because the Master won’t ever
walk out and fail to return.
If he works severely, he also works tenderly.
His stockpiles of loyal love are immense.
He takes no pleasure in making life hard,
in throwing roadblocks in the way.
LAMENTATIONS 3:25-33, THE MESSAGE (EMPHASIS ADDED)
As soon as you get up in the morning, take a deep breath and start thanking God. Thank Him for His faithfulness, for His love, for His grace, for your family, for your health, for anything you can think of. Then think of an area where you need to be strengthened with His hope and find relevant Scriptures to meditate upon. For example, if you have been concerned and faithfully praying for a family member to know God, repeat Acts 16:31 out loud, thanking God in advance that he or she will be saved. If you are hoping for a promotion or a raise at work, stand on the promise of John 15:7. If you need provision in your ministry, speak the words of 1 Thessalonians 5:24. Purposefully digging into Scripture will bring hope where you need it the most.
Hoping for Change
Maintaining hope is especially important when you start working with and helping hurting people. When you try to help better people’s lives, you’ll typically find yourself desperately wishing they would change—and quickly.
You hope that certain obstacles in their lives—getting an education or a job, recovering from addiction, healing from hurt, creating a life of independence—would be overcome sooner rather than later. The problem is, change takes time. Not only that, but it is God who ultimately brings change.
It’s easy to get discouraged when people don’t recover as fast as we want them to. The temptation to sink becomes great. I discovered this working at the Dream Center. People who come to our organization for help enter an intense one-year live-in discipleship program. They are taught to confront and overcome their issues by learning to create positive coping techniques based on biblical principles. They must participate in a regimented work therapy program, group and individual Bible study, and outreaches. Sometimes you can tell who is going to make it and who is not.
I remember one young man with a history of addiction who entered our program. He was polite and respectful and didn’t look as physically spent as most drug addicts who come to us. Judging from the outside, I thought he had a pretty good chance of graduating the program and making it in life. Yet much to my surprise, several months later he quit.
A few months after that he returned, but this time he looked beaten down and ragged. Whatever he had been through on the streets had taken a huge toll on his physical appearance and his demeanor. Once again, after a few months in the program, he split.
A couple of weeks later, I was in the car waiting for the light to change at a major intersection near the campus when I saw this young man panhandling on the side of the road. I almost didn’t recognize him. He had lost a significant amount of weight and looked like he had aged twenty years. His face was bruised and swollen, as if he had just gotten into a fight.
I was devastated and heartbroken, and my hope for him dropped. Why had he given up? What convinced him that whatever he was doing on the streets was better than a life of wholeness and health? Could we have done more for him? Had we failed him somehow?
I saw him several more times at that same intersection. One time, I rolled down my window and called out his name. He walked over to my car. “We’d really like to see you again at the Dream Center. Would you consider coming back?” I asked.
“Not to discipleship,” he replied, informing me that he didn’t have an addiction. “I’m doing fine. I only have to panhandle two hours a day to get enough money for a room and food for the day. I don’t need any help.”
I realized drugs weren’t his problem. He had a root issue—pride. That’s what was keeping him from pursuing a better life.
It can be discouraging when you spend weeks, months, even years serving, helping, and loving on someone without seeing any fruit. It’s downright disappointing. I have seen so many volunteers quit because they get disillusioned when they’ve spent so much time helping people who then don’t make it. The volunteers question whether the commitment is worth it.
You may not see immediate changes. When you get discouraged, here is something important to remember: one day, when you give an account before God, He will focus on how you made yourself available to be used by Him, not the results of answering the call. It’s not your job to produce the fruits of your labor. That’s God’s job. Your job is to be willing to walk on water.
Our first discipleship director was once asked, “What is the success rate of the program?” He responded, “One hundred percent.” The person who asked the question laughed. “That’s impossible.” To which the director replied, “No, it’s true. Because God’s Word never returns void.” What a brilliant answer. Don’t worry if you don’t see immediate fruits of every seed you plant or every effort you make. Just trust God to bring about change according to His timing.
Heidi started working with a ministry that had its share of challenges. She almost gave up because the fruits of her efforts were not immediately seen. She learned the end result is in God’s hands. She testified,
I work with ladies who have been so used and abused that they have learned the pattern of using and abusing to survive. I’ve watched them give in to the lie over and over again, and have occasionally been trapped in the middle of it.
When that happens, it leaves me feeling like I have poured everything I have into helping them overcome the lie, and then got burned in the process. I feel like I have nothing else to offer, and I want to give up. In those moments, I have spent some sweet, intimate prayer times with Jesus. Each time, He reminds me of the privilege I have to work for Him, and that instills hope in me, knowing that He wins at the end.
I know that the Lord cares so much more about the people in my world than I ever can, and He is so much more concerned with what happens to them than I can even imagine. It is His love for us and His belief in His beloved children, not my love for people, that gives me the grace to keep going.
Miraculous Outcomes
For every person who leaves the Dream Center without reaching recovery, there are many others who do. Their stories inspire me to keep up the good fight of faith. Sarai’s journey is one example:
When I was about nine years old, my mom married a man that my brother and I didn’t know anything about. My brother didn’t approve of the relationship and started acting out and rebelling. He ended up getting kicked out of the house. At that time, my stepdad started sexually abusing me. I was thirteen when I finally got the courage to tell my mom what my stepdad was doing to me. She called me a liar and every other name in the book. After that, I don’t remember ever feeling safe in my own home again.
In the summer of 2007 we went on vacation to California. The night we were heading home, my stepdad beat me so bad I ended up in the hospital. I woke up surrounded by police officers and a social worker. My mom and stepdad had left me behind in California. I ended up in the foster-care system.
My first foster home was in Watts, California, where I would cry myself to sleep every night. One of the girls in the home introduced me to crystal meth. The drug took over my life. I felt nothing and I cared about no one. But I no longer cried. I started selling drugs and partying all the time. I ran away from group homes and foster homes and dropped out of high school.
One day I met a guy who was a Christian. We started dating. When he found out about my drug addiction, he started to talk to me about God and the Bible. I got really upset and ended up breaking up with him. For some reason, he didn’t give up on me. He called me every day and gave his pastor my number too. He invited me to his church. I went, but I was high.
One evening, I went to a “testimony night” at the church. I couldn’t stop listening to the people talk about God and how He had changed their life. They were so happy. I knew that I wanted what they had. That night I told the pastor what was going on in my life and that I was ready to give it all up.
I entered the discipleship program at the Dream Center soon after. God has brought restoration to my family and me. I got my GED, and God has placed a dream in my heart to work with the children in the foster-care system. My life has changed drastically, and I will never turn back.
If you don’t start your day with hope in God, you’re closer to sinking than walking. Whatever troubles you or weighs you down, know that God is your hope in and for all things.
Recharge When You Need To
It’s easy to get overwhelmed, but it’s just as easy to rest in God. When you find yourself feeling discouraged in your service to others, tired from the hard work your ministry requires, or even stressed from trying to juggle a life of service with a personal life, take a break. Take five minutes out of your day and find a quiet place to get back into the presence of God. Decompress emotionally by recharging spiritually. Remind yourself of how big God is and how small the worry, problem, or task is in comparison.
Frankly, I think we all need about a five-minute break a few times throughout the day to gain God’s strength and refocus our attention on the right things. It will be more beneficial than venting to a friend or colleague about how stressful your situation is.
If you decide not to cast your daily cares on God, you are saying that they are too big for Him. If you step back, however, and release your anxieties and allow Him to saturate you with hope, He will lighten your load and carry your burdens for you.
End Your Day with God’s Peace
Forget about spending a weekend at a spa or going on a juice fast. I’ve discovered the best spiritual and mental detox is to end my day with God’s peace. When I come home after a long day at work, I spend time with my family, feed and bathe the kids, clean up, answer some e-mails, and finally get ready for bed. I take a deep breath and start talking to God, telling Him about some things that may have hurt, disturbed, or frustrated me in my walking-on-water journey that day. Some days I’m so physically and emotionally worn out from the day’s events, I can only manage to repeat, “Thank You for Your peace,” ten or twenty times.
I’m not tied to a certain length of prayer time. I just pray for however long it takes to feel peace. Some days it takes longer than others because I’ve got more on my mind. If I spend enough time with God, I can feel the peace that passes understanding even in the middle of a great storm.
I confess I haven’t always put this into practice. For eight years, I couldn’t sleep without popping a pill. I tried every sleep aid available, from over-the-counter drugs to prescriptions. Nothing did the trick. I could never get a full night’s rest. Every night for two or three hours, I’d lie awake staring at the ceiling. I’d think. And worry. And fret. And wonder. And worry some more.
Oh, I knew about God’s peace. I knew that Jesus left His followers this promise: “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid” (John 14:27). I knew I needed to trust God because He is bigger than my problems. However, I didn’t make the connection in my heart.
Consequently, I wasn’t releasing my life to God every day. Scripture says that each day has its own share of worries (Matthew 6:34). I was guilty of lugging around days’ and even weeks’ worth of accumulated worries. I was guilty of carrying yesterday’s burdens into today, and today’s burdens into tomorrow.
Turning head knowledge into heart knowledge is actually very practical. It’s not about shifting your feelings. It’s about taking control of your mind. This takes daily practice. I made the choice to believe, no matter how I felt, that God was in control and that He would take care of all things. I wasn’t going to allow myself to get swept up in worry or fear.
I prayerfully lifted up every negative and faith-crippling thought or concern that came my way and gave them to God. Eventually, prayer by prayer, I experienced more peace, until I finally started believing His truth with all my heart.
Once I began ending my day with God’s peace, I slept like a baby. I didn’t toss and turn. I didn’t need any more sleep aids. I could even have a cup of regular coffee in the late afternoon without worrying about it keeping me awake all night.
When you start walking on water, it’s not enough to just know the fundamental truth about God. You have to make up your mind and believe it with all your heart. You have to live it. You have to experience it. This is what will keep you from sinking.
How to Do It
End your day with peace the same way you start your day with hope. Thank God for how good, loving, kind, merciful, and wonderful He is. Spend time in the Word. Apply Scripture to the worries you have and allow the peace of God, which passes understanding, to wash over you. And remember the words of the apostle Paul: “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7, emphasis added).
Do the Work
It takes work to maintain peace. Paul wrote, “The Scriptures say, ‘If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days . . . turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it’” (1 Peter 3:10-11).
I recently uncluttered our home. After four years of letting stuff accumulate in our house without any rhyme or reason, my work was cut out for me. It took a few days, but I went through every drawer, cabinet, bin, and box in every room, including the garage. I tossed out junk, made piles of stuff to donate, and organized the rest. I threw myself into the project, but at times it seemed like a daunting task. When it was done, I was proud of how things looked. Every item had a place of its own, where it belonged. If I may say so myself, I did a pretty good job.
Today my house is very low maintenance. I can tidy up in less than three minutes at the end of each day. If I keep this up daily, hopefully I won’t have to declutter the house for another few years. I’ll be able to live in peaceful order, not organized chaos.
The same principle applies to our relationship with God. If it’s been a long time since you’ve experienced His peace, I’m willing to bet that you’ve been carrying baggage from days, weeks, or months. Maybe even longer. You might find remnants of bitterness from that fight you had with your sister five years ago. You might discover residual anger from the raise you didn’t get last month. You might even stumble over a garbage bag of disappointment from that unanswered prayer for something that you desperately thought you deserved. Over time, disappointments and stresses pile up in every corner of your life, taking up so much room, there is virtually no more space for peace to slip in.
Take those sins, burdens, and worries to God. Be honest with Him. Allow Him to remove them. Peace might not happen immediately, but I promise it will come. And don’t stop doing this after just one night. Make it a habit. Make it a part of your evening routine, like brushing your teeth.
Make room for God to fill you with the peace only He can give. “In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O LORD, will keep me safe” (Psalm 4:8). If you don’t start your day with God’s hope and end your day with His peace, you are setting yourself up to sink.
Don’t Take Your Eyes off Jesus
I appreciate what the apostle Paul wrote in Philippians 4:8-9, but sometimes I find it difficult to understand. “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.”
Most of what I see on a daily basis isn’t pure, lovely, or admirable. In fact, it’s unjust, unpleasant, and impure. I am passionate about eliminating social injustice because I am outraged at how many men, women, and children are homeless and living on the streets; the number of sexually explicit billboard signs; and the rundown and dangerous neighborhoods where children live and play.
In these verses, Paul wasn’t telling us to ignore the harsh reality of evil in this world. He was reminding us to turn our attention off of those horrible things and toward the things that are true and honorable. Jesus is true and honorable. He is the great I AM. He will never lie to us, let us down, or disappoint us. If we fix our eyes on Jesus, we are guaranteed never to sink.
Paula has lived this truth through times of tragedy, torment, and uncertainty. Instead of focusing on her trials, she has learned to continually look to the One who has pulled her through. She shares,
When I was seven years old, my mom left my dad, and in turn, my dad left the state and never had a hand in raising me. My mom married repeatedly and by the time I was fourteen, I had had four fathers, one of whom sexually abused me for years. By eighteen, I had moved eighteen times. Despite living in such an environment, I learned to depend on the Lord.
After I graduated from college, I got married. When I became pregnant with our first child, everything was great until the fifth week. The hormonal changes I was undergoing altered my brain chemically, and I became depressed and suicidal. I spent most of my pregnancy in a psychiatric unit of a hospital.
By God’s grace I was able to focus on God’s promise to give me the desire of my heart, which was a baby. Each day the torment of depression grew, but my hope in Jesus grew as well. It was a supernatural and unexplainable hope. I gave birth to a healthy, full-term baby boy. I was completely healed of my depression and did not experience even a hint of postpartum depression. I was a miracle, and so was my baby.
After our son was a year old, we met with our doctors and decided to try for a second child. Unfortunately, during my second pregnancy, I became even more depressed than the first time. I tried to kill myself three times. Because I was a risk to myself and the baby, I was again admitted to the hospital. God had miraculously saved my first baby and me, so I focused on Him. Two years and three months after our first son was born, we welcomed another healthy boy. Both sons are living miracles, attesting to the faithfulness of God.
In the summer of 2008, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. A month later, my husband was diagnosed with stage-four colon cancer. Our sons were fourteen and twelve at the time. I vividly remember the horror of having to tell the boys that both their parents had cancer.
Over the next two years, my husband and I battled our cancers together. My communion with the Lord was unceasing. There wasn’t a thought or situation that I didn’t entrust to God. He was my focus, not the cancer. My husband lost his battle two years later. Once again I looked to the One who had proved to be exactly what He claimed to be—all sufficient; the one and only person I could count on always. On my knees, I continued to seek God to meet our needs. Little by little, the miracles continued and the answers came.
Life hasn’t been easy, but in learning to shift my attention to Jesus, I have experienced and come to truly know His faithfulness, His sustaining grace, His miraculous provision, and His never-ending love and compassion. I am totally dependent on Him.
Guard your thoughts and keep them centered on the One who is capable of healing the maimed, defending the widows and orphans, restoring the lost, and redeeming the broken. Rejoice over the good that God has brought into your life and to those around you and allow it to sink in.
Think about how God is at work in the world. In the alcoholic who is now sober after twenty years. In the loving parents who have adopted a child from a third-world country. In the youth group that has raised enough money to provide clean water for a village in Africa.
When you start to think about the good things God is doing, your faith walk will get stronger.