CHAPTER 8
YOUR MOTIVATING FACTOR
Nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.
ROMANS 8:38-39
AFTER PETER HAD DENIED JESUS, he went back to his former job as a fisherman, probably assuming Jesus couldn’t use him anymore. But Jesus had not given up on Peter.
When Mary arrived at the empty tomb, the angel of the Lord told her to go and tell the disciples “including Peter” (see Mark 16:7) that He had risen from the dead. What a gift to Peter! Jesus singled him out by name, showing Peter that he had never been disqualified from ministry. I imagine Peter must have been overjoyed, released from any guilt he still carried when he heard the good news. Later, Jesus sat with Peter and asked him a series of questions.
“Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”
“Yes, Lord,” Peter replied, “you know I love you.”
“Then feed my lambs,” Jesus told him.
Jesus repeated the question: “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
“Yes, Lord,” Peter said, “you know I love you.”
“Then take care of my sheep,” Jesus said.
A third time he asked him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
Peter was hurt that Jesus asked the question a third time. He said, “Lord, you know everything. You know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Then feed my sheep.”
JOHN 21:15-17
Why the repetition? I believe that Jesus wanted to clarify for Peter that his motivation for going out and reaching the lost and helping those in need had to be birthed out of his love for Jesus. His work to further the Kingdom of God was not a means to pay penance for his sin or to make up for denying the Messiah. Otherwise, I think Jesus would have asked Peter if he felt bad for messing up.
If we understood at a deep level the awe-inspiring and life-changing love God has for us, a lot of our decisions would be different. Our lives would be better. I believe there are people in hell who would say, “If I had known then how much God loved me, I would have lived a different life. I would have followed God.” I look forward to understanding God’s love for me in heaven. I’m sure I’ll realize how silly my hang-ups were—like my insecurity and fear of rejection—and how I wasted time fretting over them. Possibly even the great heroes of the faith will realize they could have taken bigger risks or had fewer doubts.
As you live day to day and serve others, your number one motivator must be God’s love for you. His love should compel you to get up in the morning. His love should inspire you to make a difference. His love should move you to forgive, show grace, and extend mercy. His love should compel you to be a better man, woman, leader, teacher, caregiver, friend.
Facets of God’s Love
The best definition of God’s love is found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
I once conducted an exercise at one of our women’s meetings. I read the 1 Corinthians 13 definition of love several times, then asked the women to think how they loved different individuals in their lives. First, I asked them to think about their children. “It’s easy to think of your kids lovingly, isn’t it?” I remarked. “Okay. How about your husband? Do you love him according to this definition?” Some of the women hesitated at the “keeps no record of being wronged” phrase, but overall they agreed.
“How about yourself?” A number of the women in the group started crying as their raw emotions surfaced. Many people have a hard time loving themselves, feeling they fall short of God’s definition of love.
I read the verses one last time. “Now think about how God, your heavenly Father, loves you.” It was impossible for some of the women to accept this truth. I prayed for God to work through these broken hearts so they could come to a true understanding of how He loved them so deeply and so personally.
Spend a few minutes doing this exercise on your own. Read this Scripture out loud and think of your kids, your spouse or loved one, yourself. Now focus on God’s love for you. Do you believe He loves you that deeply? Do you accept this definition of His love for you? Do you live each day knowing His love for you is patient? Kind? Forgiving? Hopeful? Enduring, no matter the situation?
Take It Personally
My primary mission in life is to approach every endeavor, big and small, from the attitude and knowledge that God personally loves me. I know if I can accomplish this, I can accomplish every desire of my heart. It can be challenging at times. It’s easy to fall back into a mind-set of fear and insecurity, feeling defeated, incapable, and quite simply, unworthy of God’s love.
I find it’s much easier to believe God loves people collectively than to apply His love to me personally. It took me a long time to believe in my heart and accept that God loves Caroline Barnett, even though I grew up in a loving, affectionate family and church. I knew God loved me. I even sang songs and read Bible verses about it. But as I got older, understanding and embracing God’s love wasn’t quite as simple. I tiptoed around that truth, unsure of what to expect. I was almost suspicious that I didn’t have to earn or even deserve it.
When Human Love Fails
Unless we understand that God loves us personally, we’ll never “get it” and we’ll always question it.
There are many reasons people struggle with accepting God’s love. I believe our perception of God often stems from how our earthly fathers treated us or exemplified love. If you had a dad who was abusive, mean, hurtful, or unloving, you may have a tough time accepting that God’s love is good.
One Thursday night at the close of our church service, the guest speaker invited anyone who hated their father to come forward for prayer. Almost six hundred people made their way to the altar. I was shocked.
My friend Aaron is someone who had a skewed view of God because of his earthly father. Yet he ultimately learned about and came to accept the loving nature of God. He says,
When I was young, my father was my hero. I had no problem associating an eternal Father’s love with a natural father’s love. But as I grew older and became more aware of the way my father’s absence affected our family, I had a hard time believing that his actions were loving.
I began to question how I could ever accept God’s eternal love when God gave me an earthly father who was incapable of showing me love. Did God really love me if He allowed these things to happen?
I tried my best to prove that I deserved His love, and when I fell short of my expectations, I was convinced that He was on His way out the door. I believed that the God who created me had given up on me and that if He didn’t love me, I had no chance in life.
It was in this rock-bottom moment of depression that God revealed Himself to me. When I finally put my trust in Him, He did not remind me of my previous mistakes or scold me for my bad behavior. He simply picked me up and told me that there was nothing I could do to make Him leave. He told me that I had a future and that I was no longer bound to the ideas left in my head by my father. In my time of weakness, God revealed the love of a true Father to me.
You Can’t Earn God’s Love
I’m thankful to have a great relationship with my dad. I love him and look up to him. He is a loving, kind, godly, and gentle man.
Though I never felt I had to earn my dad’s love, I felt I had to earn God’s love. Perhaps it’s because God knows me inside and out. He knows what I’m thinking. He knows my desires, my intentions, my inner battles, and my judgments. I can’t fake it with God. I can pretend I’m good enough or “together” for others, but they can’t read my mind and see my true intentions and motivations. Only God can.
In February 2011 I was invited to speak at a women’s conference, the day after my father-in-law’s annual Pastors and Leaders School. My plan was to devote the week before the event to studying the Word and praying an hour a day. I wanted the power of God to flow through me and minister to those who attended the conference. I felt in order for God to show up in such a big and mighty way, I had to invest my time, energy, and effort into making that happen.
Unfortunately, things didn’t go as planned. I was helping teach workshops in the pastors and leaders conference. It was exciting but also exhausting.
I had been pulled in so many different directions that I hardly studied or prayed at all for the women’s conference. That morning, I holed myself up in my room and cried like a baby. I felt guilty, ashamed that I had not kept my commitment. I prayed in between sobs, begging God to forgive me. “I let you down,” I cried. “I’m not worthy to be used to minister to these women.”
I heard God speak to my heart. Caroline, had you spent that time in the Word and in prayer, would that have qualified you to serve me? Would that have made you worthy? Daughter, even at your best, you are not worthy. I have made you worthy. Even with all of the training in the world, you are not qualified without Me. You can’t earn My anointing. I’m the one who gives it to you.
As I continued to pray that morning, I felt a weight released from my heart. The pressure was off. My stress was gone. The guilt vanished. Instead of beating myself up, I enjoyed a sweet and Spirit-filled time with God. God helped me see that I don’t have to earn His mercy, His grace, His anointing, and most important, His love.
You know what else? The conference was awesome. God did many wonderful and amazing things. As we closed our time together, every single woman in that room made a commitment to be willing to serve.
I believe God wants us to stop trying to earn His love and forgiveness. Instead, we need to start receiving what He has already done so we can enjoy spending time with Him. God wants His love for you to be your motivation in life.
Where Do I Start?
When you feel loved by God, it comes out in practical ways. Let’s say you’re applying for a job you really want and feel nervous and anxious. Right before the interview, take a few minutes to call to mind how much God loves and values you. Soak in His presence and let Him remind you of your worth. Remember the words of Jesus, “What is the price of two sparrows—one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows” (Matthew 10:29-31). Then walk into that interview confident and expectant.
This is also good preparation before you are about to volunteer or lead an outreach. Take some time meditating in the presence of God and allow Him to show His love to you. I guarantee your love tank will be full and you’ll be motivated to serve others wholeheartedly and share His love with them.
David wrote in Psalm 59:16, “Each morning I will sing with joy about [God’s] unfailing love.” I challenge you to begin every day by allowing God to love on you and fill you up. This isn’t a one-time deal. There will be days you will need to run to God several times to get refilled with His love. Keep at it.
Close to God’s Heart
David was a great leader who followed after God’s own heart. But he was also human and had his share of foibles and failures. In his psalms he constantly remarks on knowing God’s love for him. “I am always aware of your unfailing love, and I have lived according to your truth” (Psalm 26:3, emphasis added).
We can learn so much from studying David’s life. His devotion to God is a powerful illustration of how to live in awareness of God’s unfailing and personal love for you. David’s motivation and willingness came from a pure desire to represent God and give Him the glory. It began publically when he faced Goliath, who was mocking God. I love David’s response:
You come to me with sword, spear, and javelin, but I come to you in the name of the LORD of Heaven’s Armies—the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. Today the LORD will conquer you, and I will kill you and cut off your head. And then I will give the dead bodies of your men to the birds and wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel! And everyone assembled here will know that the LORD rescues his people, but not with sword and spear. This is the LORD’s battle, and he will give you to us!
1 SAMUEL 17:45-47
Whenever I read David’s psalms, I cross-reference them to 1 and 2 Samuel so I can better understand what was actually happening in his life at the time he was writing them. Some of the most beautiful and uplifting passages were penned when he was in the midst of seemingly hopeless situations.
Alone, Discouraged . . . and Loved
Though he was anointed as king when he was just a shepherd boy, David didn’t immediately ascend to the throne to replace King Saul. Saul was jealous of his successor, threatened by the young man’s growing popularity and accomplishments as a military leader. The king was determined to eliminate the threat to his crown, so he put a contract out on David’s life.
Once David learned of Saul’s plan, his life changed dramatically: he became a man on the run. When David wrote Psalm 63, he was exiled in the wilderness, far from the comforts and familiarity of home. He wasn’t abandoned because of his own wrongdoing. His hopeless situation was through no fault of his own.
If you were David, how would you have felt? Would you think that God had abandoned you? Would you question your purpose in life?
I believe one of the reasons David was successful is because his loving attitude toward God never faltered. Rather than spiraling down in misery, he wrote a love song to God. I love his words:
O God, you are my God;
I earnestly search for you.
My soul thirsts for you;
my whole body longs for you
in this parched and weary land
where there is no water.
I have seen you in your sanctuary
and gazed upon your power and glory.
Your unfailing love is better than life itself;
how I praise you!
I will praise you as long as I live,
lifting up my hands to you in prayer.
You satisfy me more than the richest feast.
I will praise you with songs of joy.
I lie awake thinking of you,
meditating on you through the night.
PSALM 63:1-6
You can sense David’s sincere longing for God. His words aren’t merely lip service.
Is this how you would describe the way God’s love makes you feel? Are His love and your relationship with Him better than life? If you were stripped of money, possessions, job security, talents, smarts, beauty, and even loved ones—essentially all that you have—would God be more than enough for you? If not, press into Him. Allow God to embrace you with the magnitude of His love. He wants you to know at the deepest level of your soul that His love is more than enough.
As you read this, perhaps you feel alone. Maybe you struggle with being abandoned, left out, or disregarded. You may feel alone even in a crowded room. You may live with your family but still feel miles apart, believing no one knows what you’re going through. Guess what? God does. And He never intended for you to live this life on your own in your own strength. With Him you are never alone. With Him you can do all things. With Him, you can feel loved, not lost or forsaken.
God knows your troubles. He knows your mistakes. He knows your best efforts. He knows your failed attempts. And none of it changes how much He loves you. “Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39, NIV). In your own wilderness, when you acknowledge with your heart and your head that God loves you, you can find joy and purpose in any circumstance.
Though it hasn’t always been easy, Leisa has allowed herself to be enveloped by God’s love.
Before coming to the Dream Center in 2008, I went through a devastating divorce. I was so distraught I tried to kill myself. After arriving on campus and entering the discipleship program, I knew God loved me but I still felt alone and discouraged. Four years later, I’m still serving and giving back to the ministry that gave so much to me. Through this process I have learned about God’s love and that though problems may come, He will always be there for me. When I have felt overwhelmed, I make the choice to draw closer to Him and let Him love on me.
God’s Enduring Love
I’ve learned that even in the face of tragedy, we can still experience God’s love. In these moments, we have the opportunity to trust Him or doubt His goodness and love. The choice is up to us.
When Matthew and I had been married for two years, the mommy bug bit me. I desperately wanted a child. We tried to conceive for an entire year, each month a hopeful disappointment. One day when I was feeling particularly upset, I remembered the words of the sweet and very candid Filipino ladies at some of my food truck sites: “If you keep lifting so many heavy boxes, you’ll never be able to have kids!” I assumed it was an old wives’ tale, so I would smile and nod politely, but keep on working. But a year later, I feared there was some truth to what they had said.
Then I got pregnant. When Matthew and I saw the plus sign on the pregnancy test, we were elated. Immediately, we drove to my parents’ house to share the good news. As a first-time mom, I couldn’t contain my excitement and had a permanent smile on my face. I wanted to tell everyone the good news, but Matthew and I decided to wait until after the first trimester. Around the twelfth week, we made the big announcement to the church. Everyone shared in our delight.
A few days later, I went to the doctor’s office for a second ultrasound. Matthew and I had just become first-time homeowners and moving day was the same day as my appointment. Matthew needed to be on hand at our new condominium. I missed him and wished he was by my side, but I knew Matthew was with me in spirit.
I nervously lay on the examining table as the doctor poured the cool gel on my stomach and swiftly moved the handheld scanner over my stomach. My eyes fixed on the ultrasound machine’s screen, my ears listening for the distinct whooshing sound and the rhythmic thump of my baby’s heartbeat. But I didn’t hear anything except static.
I shot a glance at my doctor. She was looking at the screen, too, but had a stoic expression. Still, I couldn’t help but notice a glint of worry in her eyes. Calmly, she put the scanner down and told me to get dressed and come to her office. It was obvious that something was wrong.
When I stood up and my bare feet touched the floor, a chill went through my body. My hands shook as I fumbled for my clothes. Though I knew there was a problem, I wasn’t prepared for what she was about to tell me.
I was quiet when I sat down in her office. The doctor folded her hands on the desk and explained that I would miscarry in a few days.
I wanted to get out of there fast, before the flood of tears began. As the doctor continued telling me what to expect, I nodded numbly. Maybe this is a dream. A really bad dream. Maybe if I close my eyes I’ll wake up and this nightmare will be over.
By the time I got to my car, I was sobbing relentlessly. It’s a wonder I could see to drive home safely. When I told Matthew what the doctor said, he held me in his arms and we cried together.
When I started bleeding a few nights later, I continued to deny the truth of what was happening. Matthew comforted me as best he could. Hoping for God to perform a miracle, I headed out the next morning to work on my food truck site. By the end of the day, I started having contractions, which shocked me. The doctor hadn’t given me any specifics of what happens during a miscarriage. I was in severe pain, physically and emotionally. My heart broke a little more with each cramp. Matthew was at church, studying and preparing for Sunday’s message. I knew it wouldn’t be good for me to be alone, so I headed to my parents’ house.
I prayed as I drove, spitting out a few words in between my uncontrollable sobbing. “Is this it, God?” I voiced with a mixture of sadness and doubt. “Will I ever have a baby?”
I desperately grasped for hope. I recited Psalm 37:4, “Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart” (NIV). My heart’s desire was to have a baby, and I believed God would not go back on His promise.
The actual miscarriage was a long and painful experience, but I was grateful for my parents’ emotional support. I let Matthew know where I was and what was happening and he offered to come over immediately, but I assured him I was in good hands. I stayed in my parents’ bedroom all day, with my mom checking on me periodically. I really did want to be alone. I went back home late that night, and after Matthew finally arrived home, we grieved and cried together.
The following week, I had a D and C at an outpatient facility while Matthew anxiously waited and prayed for me in the lobby. The pain medication they gave me did its job—it was good not to feel.
For weeks after, I was beset by feelings of devastation. Though my heart was breaking, Matthew’s unfailing support helped me get through as we grieved the loss together. He comments on this unforgettable experience:
The miscarriage hit both of us hard, but I was amazed at the strength Caroline showed in getting back up. I couldn’t find the perfect words to comfort her. But I didn’t have to. We both needed to be near each other. She just needed someone to support her. In time, her amazing strength returned.
Though the emotional pain eased up after that point, I had no compelling desire to try to conceive again. I needed to heal from the experience. During this time of great sorrow, Psalm 34:18 came alive in my heart—“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” Though I wasn’t sure what the future would hold, God was faithful in being present. Over time, true to His Word, I felt Him close by, even as my heart unraveled within.
A year later, I knew I was ready to try again, though I was still apprehensive. My anxiety hadn’t completely subsided, but I made the choice to uphold my faith. Nine months later, Matthew and I welcomed beautiful Mia into the world. Two and a half years later, Caden, our handsome rascal, arrived. God’s love is faithful and “endures through every circumstance” (1 Corinthians 13:7). He will not fail you when you stand firm in His love, no matter what you are going through.
Matthew learned his own lessons during this time:
Losing our child was heartbreaking. One day we were preparing the baby’s room, eagerly awaiting the day we would be bringing our first child home, and the next moment we were facing the harsh reality that it wasn’t going to happen. At first, I wept and wanted to die. Then, like King David when he lost his child, I thought, What is done is done. It’s time to move on.
This kind of heartbreak changes your ministry in many ways. Every season of brokenness makes you stronger. People have said that we are defined by our victories. I believe that we are defined by how we respond to loss. I realized that this moment of brokenness would one day become a divine weapon of usefulness for Him.
The Power of God’s Love
I’m inspired by Danielle, who works at the Dream Center. Though she has experienced tragedy, she has made the commitment to live her life and serve others, motivated by the love of God. She constantly speaks of how powerful God’s love is, evidenced by her story:
I was born into a military family. My father’s life was the United States Marine Corps, and he was rarely around. When I was seven years old, my parents divorced. My mother remarried in June of 2003. Little did I know that less than six months later my life would be radically altered.
On October 16, 2003, my sister and I witnessed our mother murder our stepfather. I was forced to move in with my father, who I barely knew.
Six months later in April 2004, I received Christ and became a member of a local youth group. My mother was convicted of murder and sentenced to twenty-eight years in prison. During a retrial, I was coerced into testifying against my mother. She received a life sentence without parole and a $100,000 fine.
I became lost, guilt ridden, and ashamed. I was so angry and full of hatred. I built up walls around my heart and hurt those around me before they had a chance to hurt me. Though I had many leaders ministering into my life and telling me God was with me, I just couldn’t feel Him.
After my mother had been in prison for six years, I decided to visit her and face the music. After what felt like an eternity of silence, she said, “Danielle, I got saved in April of 2004, and I have been living my life for God ever since.” I left the prison skeptical of the change in her life.
A few months later I visited her again. The emptiness that I was used to seeing in her eyes had been replaced with love, remorse, and hope. She leaned over the table and said to me, “I am so sorry for everything I put you through. I want you to know that I love you and I realize I can’t make it up to you on the outside. I know that God’s plan for my life is to help women who don’t have anything to live for on the inside.”
On the long walk back to my car I asked God, “Is Mom’s change genuine?” God sweetly whispered to me, She is My child just as you are My child. I am changing her life just as I am changing yours. She is going to move mountains on the inside. You are going to move mountains on the outside. At that moment I felt a shower of God’s love and grace pour over me. I felt like I could conquer the world. And then He spoke 2 Timothy 1:7 into my heart: “God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” Nothing I had been through was in vain, but was going to be an answer to many prayers in the future. I began to speak life into people and help them tap into God’s potential for them.
When I first walked into the Los Angeles Dream Center, I felt God say, Welcome home.
In my life, I have learned two key principles. First, God did not create me to do this life alone. Every person I encounter has something that I can learn from them. It is my responsibility to tap into the hidden treasures that God has so carefully and meticulously designed for me.
Second, I have learned to love people where they are, instead of where they are supposed to be. If God can take a woman with a mental disorder who lacks the ability to feel emotion and transform her into His vessel in a maximum-security prison, why can’t we choose to release our finite perspective and embrace God’s higher perspective of those around us? I have chosen to break the social norm and accept my mother as the child of God He created rather than define her as the murderer that the world knows her to be. I am proud to be her daughter.
God is the God of hope, restoration, and new beginnings. The evidence of God’s faithfulness is written all over my life. Outsiders look at my life as a terrible tragedy, but I choose to see it as a beautiful love letter God has handcrafted for me to share with the world.
Danielle allowed God’s love to fill her and give her the strength and courage to respond to her circumstances. Her bright outlook on her life and future is a strong reminder that God’s love is able to overcome even the most difficult situations. Her heart for others reflects the love, grace, and mercy God has lavished on her.
Responding Supernaturally in Love
When David was running for his life from King Saul, he often hid out in caves. On one occasion, a group of men joined him. This ragtag bunch would become the men God used to defend David—“men who were in trouble or in debt or who were just discontented” (1 Samuel 22:2). Sounds like many of us at the Dream Center whom God is using to accomplish His mission!
In 1 Samuel 24, King Saul takes three thousand of his best-trained men to hunt down David and his men. When the king stopped at one point to relieve himself, he chose the very cave where David and his men were concealed. David’s golden opportunity had come! He could take down his enemy, fully justified in the attack.
“Now’s your opportunity!” David’s men whispered to him. “Today the LORD is telling you, ‘I will certainly put your enemy into your power, to do with as you wish.’” So David crept forward and cut off a piece of the hem of Saul’s robe.
But then David’s conscience began bothering him because he had cut Saul’s robe. “The LORD knows I shouldn’t have done that to my lord the king,” he said to his men. “The LORD forbid that I should do this to my lord the king and attack the LORD’s anointed one, for the LORD himself has chosen him.” So David restrained his men and did not let them kill Saul.
1 SAMUEL 24:4-7
David supernaturally approached this situation with God’s love, the same perspective that fills Psalm 57. “I look to you for protection. I will hide beneath the shadow of your wings until the danger passes by. I cry out to God Most High, to God who will fulfill his purpose for me. He will send help from heaven to rescue me, disgracing those who hound me. My God will send forth his unfailing love and faithfulness” (verses 1-3, emphasis added).
That same unfailing love and faithfulness are available to you. You may be in a very difficult situation that looks impossible. I challenge you not to respond in brokenness. Respond in love and make decisions out of wholeness.
Don’t cut ties with family because you have been hurt by them. Before making such a critical decision, let God love on you and then see if your perspective is the same. Don’t quit your job because the promotion you wanted was given to someone else. Let God love on you and then wait for His guidance. Don’t stop volunteering because you feel underappreciated. Let God love on you and remind you that you are living your life and serving others for Him, that He sees it all, and that He will reward you for all.
Fallen, But Loved
What happens when we fail? When we miss the mark? When we sin? Is it possible to approach our mistakes with God’s love?
David, now king, was devoted to God, worshiping and praising Him daily. But David wasn’t perfect. Despite his deep commitment and faithfulness to God, he found himself in deep sin—a triumvirate of adultery, lies, and murder. Honestly, I’m surprised that David, a handsome and powerful leader, didn’t fall into sin more often. But how tragic when he did.
Second Samuel 11 details King David’s plunge down a slippery slope of sinful behavior. I think he basically broke every one of the Ten Commandments in one shot. David lusted after Bathsheba, a married woman, and they had a steamy affair.
Bathsheba became pregnant and David began damage control. He schemed his cover-up carefully. Bathsheba’s husband, Uriah, was away at battle, so David had Uriah sent home, ostensibly to give a battle report, but with the suggestion that he enjoy time with his wife. A loyal soldier, Uriah came home to report but did not spend the night with his wife; his duty was to fight beside his comrades. David then sent Uriah to the front lines and he died, loyal to his king to the end.
David thought he was now in the clear, that he and Bathsheba could marry and live happily ever after. But the prophet Nathan called David out on his sin, leading to confession and repentance. Psalm 51 pictures David at one of the lowest points in his life. But overcome with grief and shame, he still knew that God loved him.
Have mercy on me, O God,
because of your unfailing love.
Because of your great compassion,
blot out the stain of my sins.
Wash me clean from my guilt.
Purify me from my sin.
PSALM 51:1-2 (EMPHASIS ADDED)
You may have fallen from grace. Maybe there are areas in your life you know you need to change. Perhaps you are not living right. Even on our best days, we sin and feel unworthy of God’s great and perfect love. Sin keeps us from God. Most times it makes us afraid to come to Him, even if we’re genuinely sorry. It feels almost impossible when we are so ashamed.
Don’t wait. Don’t hesitate to come to God and confess your failures. Pray for forgiveness. Ask Him for strength to overcome the things that hold you back from experiencing His great gift of love.
If you want to enjoy the journey of life and the adventure of serving others, you have to believe with all your heart that God loves you in a personal way. Make His love your motivator. Let it compel you to do the right thing in all circumstances, even if it seems impossible in your human power. Draw upon the power of God’s love to live fully and abundantly.