CHAPTER 9
OUR WANTS VS. GOD’S WANTS
God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.
PHILIPPIANS 2:13
OVER THE YEARS I’ve noticed a common thread among people who are hesitant or stuck about serving others. They assume God’s plan for them will be something they will hate, it will drastically interfere with their own lives or plans, or it will require an unreasonable amount of time or money.
Let me set the record straight. God wants you to have purpose and feel fulfilled. If you find yourself questioning His plans for your life, relax and let Him direct you. If you trust Him, you will find that your plans and His plans match up better than you expected. Instead of fighting against your ideas of what God desires of you, get on board with Him.
Seventeen years ago, Phyllis did just that. Though God called her to the Dream Center, it took her a while to get there. At first she outright refused to attend our church, let alone serve, because it was located in a dangerous, low-income area. But after several weeks, unable to avoid the gnawing in her spirit to obey, she finally came to a Thursday night service.
Today, Phyllis couldn’t imagine doing anything different. “It’s a pleasure to serve. It’s wonderful to see the buses go out and pick up people, especially children, and hear what the Lord has done in their lives. His blessings are overwhelming. I feel very honored to be a part of this wonderful ministry and vision.”
Do you want all that God has made available to you? Do you want to take Him up on all His promises? Do you want to enjoy a journey with Him instead of walking it alone? Do you want to walk on water? Well, guess what? God wants these very things for you too!
The apostle Paul encourages followers of Christ, “Work hard so you can present yourself to God and receive his approval,” adding this comparison: “Expensive utensils are used for special occasions, and the cheap ones are for everyday use. If you keep yourself pure, you will be a special utensil for honorable use. Your life will be clean, and you will be ready for the Master to use you for every good work” (2 Timothy 2:15, 20-21).
Do you want to be honorably used by God? I believe that most people do. And God wants to use us. He can use anybody, wherever you are, whatever you are doing, whether it’s in “ministry” or not. You don’t have to be a missionary, work at the Dream Center, or lead outreaches at your church. One day we will stand before God, knowing that we accomplished what He made us to do and became who He wanted us to be.
The passage of Scripture in 2 Timothy gives us a condition to be used for “honorable use.” We are called to keep ourselves pure. The first thought that comes to mind when I read this is living without sin.
Romans 6 tells us, “Don’t you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey? You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to righteous living. . . . When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the obligation to do right. And what was the result? You are now ashamed of the things you used to do, things that end in eternal doom. But now you are free from the power of sin and have become slaves of God. Now you do those things that lead to holiness and result in eternal life” (verses 16, 20-22). Do you want to be a slave to something that hurts you or makes you feel ashamed? Of course not! God doesn’t want you to either.
Sin or a Bad Choice?
The word sin makes a lot of people feel uncomfortable. Some people believe everything that’s fun is a sin. Other people feel there is no such thing as sin because God is love and we are not bound by restrictions or consequences for the way we live.
This reminds me of a debate that started between Matthew and me eight years ago. For most of my life, I had lived with symptoms of a cold that never went away. It was particularly bad during the first three years I lived at the Dream Center. I was always congested, and my nose was always raw.
Then I came across a book on health that explained the harmful effects of eating pork and shellfish. So I decided to eliminate pork and shellfish from my diet. After two months, I stopped being sick and wasn’t congested anymore. Now, I don’t believe it was a sin for me to eat those things. I certainly wasn’t defiling my spirit or going to hell for eating pork lo mein or shrimp cocktail. It just happened that refraining from those foods was better for my health.
I was so excited that I tried to convince Matthew to give up those foods. At first my efforts to change his eating habits made him want them even more. When we’d go out to eat, it seemed like he ordered bacon at every meal. Matthew playfully accused me of judging these foods as sin. Eventually I gave up my crusade to reform Matthew’s diet but kept the reforms for my own.
There are certain things we shouldn’t do—not because they’re necessarily sins, but because they will harm us physically, emotionally, mentally, or even spiritually.
Here’s another illustration: For years, every night when I got in bed I asked God to forgive me for not spending more time in His Word and in prayer. My entire prayer time was spent beating myself up instead of using that time to connect with Him. I was in a constant cycle of shame and guilt because I was so hung up on how much time was enough. Did I have to pray a half hour a day? An hour? Did I have to set aside blocks of time several times a day? In the morning? Or at night? Or both?
I finally felt God impress on my heart that His love, His grace, and His approval did not depend on anything I could do. Developing my relationship with God isn’t a sin issue. It’s a heart issue. Of course we have to regularly spend time with God. How else are we going to live out our faith walk? But I had to stop focusing so much on how or when I did it. I had to connect with God because I wanted to. Not because He would be mad or disappointed if I didn’t.
And why wouldn’t I want to spend time in prayer seeking guidance, direction, and wisdom from an all-knowing God who loves me unconditionally? Who knows my future and what will keep me excited about living this life? Why wouldn’t I want to study God’s truths about life, business, and relationships when He orchestrated this whole world and put its laws in motion? Not spending regular time with God isn’t necessarily a sin, but it will keep you from experiencing His power, joy, and peace in your life.
The Business of Being Pure
So what is sin? There are specific sins mentioned in the Bible, but if you have questions, I would advise talking it over with your pastor or spiritual leader as well as listening to the prompting of the Holy Spirit as a guide and help.
As a helpful guideline, I like this teaching from the apostle Paul: “You say, ‘I am allowed to do anything’—but not everything is good for you. You say, ‘I am allowed to do anything’—but not everything is beneficial” (1 Corinthians 10:23). It’s certainly not a sin to eat, for instance, but food can become an idol in our lives. Anything that interferes with our relationship with God is a sin. He wants us to run from sin so we can live the abundant and free life He intended us to have.
Sin is just as much about the do’s as it is about the don’ts. I know some Christians who feel they are pure, blameless, and whole because they don’t do anything wrong. That mind-set could easily lead to pride and a feeling of being better than others. A pure life is lived humbly, knowing every moment that you need God.
Jesus tells the story of two people who held differing definitions of sin:
Two men went to the Temple to pray. One was a Pharisee, and the other was a despised tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed this prayer: “I thank you, God, that I am not a sinner like everyone else. For I don’t cheat, I don’t sin, and I don’t commit adultery. I’m certainly not like that tax collector! I fast twice a week, and I give you a tenth of my income.”
But the tax collector stood at a distance and dared not even lift his eyes to heaven as he prayed. Instead, he beat his chest in sorrow, saying, “O God, be merciful to me, for I am a sinner.” I tell you, this sinner, not the Pharisee, returned home justified before God. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.
LUKE 18:10-14
Living a pure life isn’t about being perfect. It’s about setting ourselves apart from this world and living for Jesus, not for others. It’s about looking to Him to guide our ambitions and our motivations. It’s about knowing we are made pure through His sacrifice, not our good works.
Living a pure life also means affirming certain promises from God. First, we’ll never be tempted beyond our ability to withstand, and when we are tempted He will provide us a way out (1 Corinthians 10:13). Second, when we are weak and struggling, we are made strong through Christ (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).
How Much Is Enough?
When it comes to living a life of purity and following the call to serve others, I know that many people struggle with determining how much time or money they need to give in service. It’s easy to stumble our way through life feeling guilty because we think we’re not doing enough.
Though my friend Shelly initially struggled with not having a lot of time to serve, she came to realize that she just had to be obedient in what she had to offer. God would take care of the rest.
I came to the Dream Center five years ago. My husband and I own an advertising agency, and we spend most of our time traveling for business. The only day of the week I had available to serve was Tuesday afternoon. So from 1 to 4 p.m., I hit the streets in a beat-up truck filled with food.
I talked to single moms working three jobs, drug dealers, gang members, and kids who had never met their dads. I saw so much pain, loss, and emptiness. Week after week, I couldn’t wait for Tuesdays to come because I knew I had the hope these people needed—Jesus.
I agonized over the limited time that I had to serve. At the end of each Tuesday, I would drive home exhilarated from being able to help others but also sick to my stomach that I couldn’t do more. I knew because of my work schedule, I couldn’t expand my time at the Dream Center, so I begged God for more opportunities to serve. It’s funny how God loves to answer those kinds of prayers.
Walking around the Dream Center campus one day, I noticed a group of teenage girls wearing black T-shirts. I found out that they were part of a life transformation program called Discipleship and lived on campus full-time. I learned more about their program and felt this was the opportunity God had opened up. I began working with the girls on Tuesdays after my food truck shift was done.
In the process of serving others, I recognized that I am the church, part of the body of Christ. Serving is a 24/7 job, not something that you do just one day or seven days a week. I am a representative for Jesus every minute of every day. Opportunities to serve are everywhere. You just need to follow God’s voice. And if He gives you a desire to do something, He will find a way to make it happen.
God says He blesses in proportion to our giving. “Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back” (Luke 6:38).
How much do you have to give above your tithe? Well, how much do you want to give? God is not looking for a specific time or monetary sacrifice. He’s just looking for our willingness to help others. The particulars are up to us.
It’s motivating to serve. When we care and provide for God’s children, we experience unimaginable joy, the fullness of His love, and His grace in action. We enjoy His blessings so we can continue to bless others and further His Kingdom.
Our View of God
It’s important to approach our service with the right perception of God. He is not a stern taskmaster who forces us to follow His call. He doesn’t want us to cower in our faith, afraid to take risks or use our talents and gifts to serve Him. He is not keeping score of how much time we invest in furthering His Kingdom, ready to break us down if it’s not enough.
My perception of God has changed over the last ten years. Initially, my vision and understanding of Him was limited. I expect ten years from now, with even more life experience and knowledge, I’ll understand God a lot more deeply than I do today.
Because I spent years being afraid of God, it made me fearful to take risks. But the more I grew in my relationship with Him, praying and studying His Word, the more I understood how wrong my thinking was. God isn’t demanding or impossible to please. He is loving, kind, merciful, and full of grace. And He has good plans and desires for us.
Taskmaster or Father?
In Matthew 25 Jesus tells the parable of the talents, a good illustration of how I used to view God. In this story, a man entrusts three of his servants with different amounts of money as he leaves on a trip. One man receives five talents, another two, and the last, one. In the master’s absence, his servants are to be responsible for their stewardship of what they have received.
These men have the same master but have different perceptions of him. The man with the five talents is not afraid of the responsibility, nor is he intimidated by how successful, powerful, and blessed his master is. He’s willing to take a risk and invests the funds, ultimately doubling his master’s money. The second servant takes the same leap of faith and also doubles the money.
The third servant is nervous. He has some false notions about his master. Mostly, the servant fears him. I understand this man’s hesitance. Growing up, I always assumed God was mad at me. I desperately wanted to please Him, but never thought I did. I always seemed to come up short and was convinced God was constantly disappointed in me.
The man with the one talent is afraid of trying and failing, so he shirks his responsibility. He buries the money. When the master returns and questions the status of his investment, the third man responds, “I knew you were a harsh man, harvesting crops you didn’t plant and gathering crops you didn’t cultivate. I was afraid I would lose your money, so I hid it in the earth. Look, here is your money back” (Matthew 25:24-25).
The master chews him out. “You wicked and lazy servant! If you knew I harvested crops I didn’t plant and gathered crops I didn’t cultivate, why didn’t you deposit my money in the bank? At least I could have gotten some interest on it” (Matthew 25:26-27). Ouch!
The master in this parable represents God. The servant who hid his talent approached his task with the wrong view of his master. He was led by fear. He didn’t know it was acceptable to take risks and use his talents to turn a profit. He was too scared to even try.
I know that fear of stepping out into the great unknown. But I also know the freedom you can experience when you come to a true understanding of the character of God.
A distorted image of God will hold us back from doing what He has called us to do. But when we see God as a loving Father who wants the best for us, we will want nothing more than to obey Him—not out of fear, but out of love. Once my views changed, I was able to serve God and others from a willing spirit.
God is not keeping track of how many hours you devote to providing for the needs of others. All I know for certain is that the more you get to know God and the more your faith grows, the more you will want to serve.
Give of yourself not because you are afraid that God will be mad if you don’t. Give out of a willing heart. Give because injustice breaks your heart. Give because seeing others suffer moves you to do something about it.
Not on Our Own
We can’t live a pure life without God’s help. I love that God asks us to live right and to step out in faith for Him but doesn’t expect or ask us to do it on our own. The Holy Spirit will be beside us. “We have received God’s Spirit (not the world’s spirit), so we can know the wonderful things God has freely given us” (1 Corinthians 2:12).
Right before Matthew and I sold our last house, I went through every room and made a list of what we needed to fix. My husband is gifted in many areas, but he is not a handyman. So I asked a few of his handier assistants to help me go through the to-do list. Robert Moore was one of the guys who came over that day.
Robert is a graduate of our discipleship program. He grew up in a gang in South Central Los Angeles and spent over twenty years in prison. Tall, with broad shoulders and bulging muscles, Robert looks intimidating. But he’s really just a big teddy bear with a great smile.
Number one on the list was to replace the mirrored sliding doors on my son’s closet. I had had problems with those doors since the day we moved in. Our first hurdle was that the replacement door frames were too long for the opening. Robert was confident he could fix it. “All I need is a hacksaw,” he said enthusiastically. I didn’t even know what a hacksaw was. Robert knocked on our neighbor’s door and asked if he could borrow a hacksaw. Lord only knows what they were thinking! He fixed the closet in under an hour.
From there, we moved outside to clear away a huge woodpile on the side of the house. It had been there for years and was an eyesore. As all of us helped load the wood onto a truck, a huge rat jumped out from the pile and started jumping around like a fish out of water. We all screamed. Except Robert. In a split second, he picked up a piece of wood and chucked it at the rat. Bull’s-eye! It happened so fast that at first I was in shock, but then I burst out laughing.
There wasn’t anything that Robert couldn’t do, and I was in awe of his skills. We finished everything on the list that day because of Robert. He had the skills, experience, and strength I lacked. He saved us a lot of money and time, and without him I wouldn’t have been able to get our house ready to be sold.
The Great Helper
Let me be clear: I’m not comparing the Holy Spirit to a handyman. Yet I wouldn’t be able to live right or do the things God has called me to do without the Holy Spirit. He gives me the skills I need to mature in my faith and serve others.
The apostle Paul taught how being led by the Spirit produces His fruit in us:
Let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses. . . .
The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!
GALATIANS 5:16-18, 22-23 (EMPHASIS ADDED)
Growing up, I believed the fruits of the Spirit were qualities I had to work hard to achieve, but as I matured in my faith I realized that it’s not my job to strive for them. It’s only my job to allow my life to be controlled by the Holy Spirit. Only then will I naturally produce these fruits.
Start Living by the Spirit
Why try to do what God is asking you to do without His help? Why make your life so much harder than it has to be when you have the best possible resource, who is available all the time, to guide you?
The Holy Spirit will help you be what you need to be and get done what you need to get done. He will help you discern what is right and wrong; when it is time to give or to withhold; when it is time to sell or to buy; when it is time to expand your business or when it is time to maintain the status quo for a season. The Holy Spirit has your best interest in mind and wants you to enjoy immeasurable success.
Oftentimes I have found that God knows what I want more than I do, and it takes stepping out in faith to discover that. Remember how I cringed at the thought of serving in Los Angeles? “Anywhere but here, God,” I prayed. But God knew this is where I belonged. Today I love the city and can’t imagine serving or living anywhere else. When you step out in faith and trust the Holy Spirit to guide you, you will find new dreams and new desires for others that you didn’t even know were inside of you.
God is on your side. He wants you to accomplish more than you could ever imagine. He wants your life to be an exciting adventure. He wants to reveal His supernatural power through you. When you faithfully serve others and make a difference, you’ll never have to worry about whether or not your desires are God’s. They already are!