Callie ignored the demand of her doorbell. She wasn’t in the mood for theological discussion or the latest multibuy bargain card. Not today—not ever.
Since she’d been summarily suspended from Palmer Enterprises, she’d lived in a kind of limbo—lacking even the energy to bother to dress each day. And underlying her miserable existence lay a sense of loss and pain and “what ifs,” making sleep patchy at best during the darkest hours of the night.
The door chimed again, and still she ignored it.
“Come on, Callie. I know you’re in there.”
Josh? What did he want? Hadn’t he made his position clear enough already? Whatever it was, she wasn’t up for any more emotional abuse. She’d ignore him. Eventually, he’d go away.
This time when the doorbell rang it was continuous. Her eardrums vibrating with the noise, she pounded down her stairs and flung her front door open.
“What? Ready to go another round with me? Well, I’m all out of fight so get out of my face.”
“Last time we talked you wanted to tell me your side of things. I wasn’t ready to listen to you then. I amnow.”
“Oh, so everything is all on your timetable. I’m so sorry,” she said, her voice dripping with a sarcasm that did little to mask the pain throbbing through her at the sight of him. “I don’t have time in my busy schedule of unemployment.”
“Callie, please.”
Josh stepped across the threshold, forcing her to back up to avoid the breadth and strength of him. She should feel threatened by his mass, but instead all her traitorous body wanted to do was plaster itself against him. Feel his heat and hardness and envelop herself in it until she felt no pain, only sensation.
The snick of the front door closing made her take another step back.
“Tell me,” he prompted.
There was a note of sincerity in his voice that gave her pause. He wasn’t the kind of man to ask if he didn’t mean it and he also wasn’t the type to leave until he got the answers he sought. With a shrug of resignation, she led him through to her kitchen, where she grabbed her kettle from its stand and shoved it under the tap.
“If you’re having some.”
She grunted and dealt with the necessities of getting coffee ready. Instant, not percolated. She wasn’t going to any bother for a man who’d chewed her up and spit her out twice in the past month. And she’d let him. She’d set herself up that second time by going to him. By hoping she could appeal to his better nature. The nature she knew dwelled inside the focussed businessman who dominated his market like some feudal lord.
Eventually, she pushed a mug across the kitchen table toward him, paying no regard to the brown liquid sloshing over the sides.
If she’d had any pride left it might have bothered her that her hair was a tangle of unbrushed chaos and that her sleep shorts and tank top had seen better days. Her attire was a far cry from the nightgown she’d worn the last time they’d made love. A tight knot wadded up deep inside her. She didn’t want to think about that night, about what they’d shared. About how they’d given to one another, and taken—both overcome by an insatiable hunger.
She’d had plenty of time to think about that and she was done thinking. She knew she’d acted foolishly, impulsively. But she’d loved him with her heart, her mind and her body—and he’d taken that love and used it against her.
“Where do you want to begin?” he asked, taking a sip of the coffee and ignoring the drips from the base of the mug that splattered onto his Armani suit.
“Why now, Josh? You weren’t interested before,” she hedged. She wasn’t in a hurry to rip the scab off the emotional wounds that had finally healed and been tucked away.
“Because I was wrong. You were right. I realise that now. I was driven by anger and frustration over something I knew next to nothing about. Something I didn’t even have the maturity to understand. It did twist me up inside and make me bitter and both unwilling and unable to see anything from anyone’s point of view but mine.”
He put his mug down on the table and sighed.
“I did what you suggested. I read the letters again. Really read them this time. How I didn’t see what my mother meant to him the first time around I’ll never understand.”
“You were too lost in your own grief. You can’t be too hard on yourself.”
“Whether that’s true or not I should never have let it guide my entire life. It turned me into someone I don’t even like anymore.”
“I still love you.” The words slipped from her mouth before she even realised she’d said them aloud.
“I don’t deserve your love, Callie. You deserve better than me, more than what I can give you.”
“Josh, if you could have given me your love in return that would have been enough. I know what it’s like not to have love. My parents never wanted children. When I came along, it certainly wasn’t the unexpected bonus their friends told them it was. They gave me the bare necessities of life, barely tolerated me when I was around. Sure, they made certain I was fed and dressed and sent to school. But they never wanted me.
“They loved each other and yet they hated each other, too. Their relationship was symbiotic and destructive at the same time. They both drank, excessively, and they did recreational drugs, too. My mother was the worst. She’d lash out when she was angry and she was angry a lot of the time. When she didn’t get the response, or the respect, from me she believed she was due, she’d change from shouting and verbal abuse to physical violence. My father did nothing to stop her.
“The day I turned fourteen, she beat me worse than she’d ever done before. They had to call an ambulance, but neither of them came to the hospital with me. When the doctors saw my injuries they called the police, but by the time they arrived at our house my parents had left. No one knew where they had gone. I’m assuming they fled the country. We didn’t have the border control then that we do now.”
Callie fell silent, remembering the visit from the social worker telling her that she’d now be a ward of the state and remembering her silent vow not to be under anyone’s control ever again.
“Anyway, as soon as I was well enough I checked myself out of hospital and hit the streets. It wasn’t hard to disappear in the underground community, to learn when to duck and hide and when it was safe.”
“Social services never looked for you?”
“They probably did, but it didn’t take long before I became adept at my new lifestyle and it was easier than what had been before. I survived for two years before things got seriously dangerous for me. That was when Irene’s people found me.”
“More dangerous than living on the street? Callie, you were what by then? Sixteen?”
She looked at Josh across the table. For all the hardship in his upbringing he really had no idea how gruelling life could really be. At least he’d had his mother.
“My last winter on the street was more difficult than the previous two. Wetter, colder—just altogether more miserable. There was a guy I was soft on. He didn’t live on the streets but he spent a lot of time there. That should have been a warning to me, but it wasn’t. Anyway, he’d always been out of my league but this one night he actively sought me out and he offered to take me back to his place for the night. I knew exactly what that meant—and I hate to admit it now—but I was so cold, so tired and so darn hungry I would have done just about anything for warmth and clean sheets that night. So I went with him.”
Her voice faded away on the memory, on the bitter cold and desolation. She became aware of heat encasing her hands. Of Josh’s silent encouragement and support chasing away the fear and the bad memories.
“I found out later that he wasn’t as young as he looked. But he used his youthful appearance to scout for young girls and had quite a business running with them once he got them totally dependent on him and the drugs he pushed. I was one of the lucky ones. The police raided the next morning and I was sent to one of Irene’s facilities.”
She transferred her grip from her mug to Josh’s hands, entwining her fingers through his as if by doing so she could impart the truth of what she was telling him.
“She saved me, Josh. She saved me and made me whole again. She made me see that I could be anything I wanted to be, do anything I wanted to do if I just wanted it enough. I owed her everything.”
“And she took it. She used you and abandoned you when you needed her most.”
“I’m nothing if not consistent,” Callie said bitterly. “Never let it be said that I inspire loyalty in the people in my life.”
“You do in me.”
“No, I don’t. I failed you, too.”
“None of us are perfect, but you could see before I did that I was wrong and that what I was doing was wrong. You have so much courage, Callie, you almost frighten me. You stood up to me, not just once, but twice. You stood up for what you believed in—me. And that’s a gift I want to keep forever—you, your love. Can you ever forgive me?”
“Have you really let it go? The anger? Your need for revenge?”
“I’ll be honest. I found out some truths today that redirected my anger. Irene separated my mother and Bruce—she was the one who sent Mum away and gave her money, she was the one who intercepted my letter when I wrote to say Mum had died. Irene had just discovered she was pregnant and she didn’t want her child or children to be usurped. She persuaded my mother that Bruce didn’t love her anymore and she sent her away. Irene was behind everything—she’s one evil manipulative woman. I’m not going to let her infect my life with her vitriol any longer. And she’s not going to contaminate yours, either.”
“And Bruce? What about the letters.”
“I thought I’d destroy them. Leave them in the past where they belong. Or maybe we should return them to him. They’re his property in the end, aren’t they?”
Callie could barely believe her ears. He really had let all that anger go? It had been his direction for so long; it had been a part of what sculpted him into the man he was. Letting go would leave a void in his life, a loss of purpose.
“I think whatever you decide will be fine,” she answered carefully.
“So do I have your forgiveness?”
“Of course you do. But can you forgive me? I lied to you; I deliberately tried to undermine your plans.”
“I love you, Callie, even if I hadn’t already been in the wrong I could forgive you for anything as long as I know I had your love in return.”
Tears sprang to her eyes and she dashed them away as happiness swelled to an almost unbearable peak within her.
“You do, oh, yes, you do. I love you, Josh. I always will.”
“Then come home with me. Stay with me, be my wife. Let’s create the family we both always wanted. The family we both deserve.”
“I’ll do it on one condition,” she said, smiling through tears of joy.
“Name it. It’s yours.”
“Will you call me Callie Rose?”
“Always.”
He stood and pulled her from her chair, into his arms where she finally belonged, and he took her love from her lips and into his body, holding it deep inside. She returned his kiss, and his faith in a happier future, with everything she had inside, and when she took him upstairs to her bedroom it was to show him with her body, her love, exactly what he meant to her.
Sunlight slanted through the cedar blinds in her bedroom window, encasing them both in a brilliant golden glow, a portent of hope in two lives that had known so much despair. She slid his clothes from his body, skimming her fingers over the width of his shoulders, the broad strength of his chest, tracing each line of muscle, sensing through her fingertips each shiver of his reaction.
When they were both naked, she led him to her bed and continued her exploration of his body, loving how his skin danced beneath her touch. Loving him. And when she knelt over him, and took him into her body, she felt a closeness with Josh that had been missing before. Finally, there were no secrets between them. Finally they could give and take without any shadows of the past lingering between them.
As she rose and fell against him, sensation swelled upon pleasure, pleasure upon sensation, until they both tumbled over the edge of reality and onto a plane of pure joy, pure enlightenment. Pure love.
Later, as their bodies cooled and their breathing returned to normal, Callie relished the sound of Josh’s heartbeat beneath her cheek—the heart that beat for her. For all they’d been through, for all they’d done, they’d made it through together and would each be stronger for that now.
Josh’s fingers drew lazy circles against her back. She could stay in this half world forever, she thought with a smile. But then again, they’d have plenty of these times together. They had a lifetime to look forward to.
“You know,” she said quietly, “I feel sorry for her.”
“Irene?” Josh’s voice was a deep rumble in her ear. “She doesn’t need your pity.”
“Yes, I think she does. She did help me, Josh. I know she cast me to the wolves when everything began to crumble, but deep down I really feel sorry for her. She only fought for what she believed in—her family, their security, their future. Really, what she did was not a lot different from what you did to them. It’s like everything came full circle.”
Josh lay silent beneath her for several minutes before speaking.
“I hate to admit it, but you’re right. The difference being, though, that I withdrew before it was too late.”
“So you’re definitely not going public with Bruce being your father?”
“No. I’m not even going to approach him about it. I’m satisfied knowing he truly loved my mother. At least she had that, no matter how long it lasted.”
Callie lifted her head and met Josh’s gaze, saw the unexpected sheen of tears in his eyes.
“I love you, Josh Tremont. I don’t deserve you, but I love you and I promise you I will love you until the day I die.”
“That’s all I ever wanted,” he said, as he rolled her under him and lowered his face to her. “And you need never doubt I will spend every day of the future loving you exactly the same way.”
By the time they’d spent their afternoon making love, packing enough of Callie’s things to fit in her car, and making love again, it was early evening before they made it to Josh’s place. As they reached the entrance to his drive, Callie noticed that the gates were open.
“Did you leave them open today?” she asked.
“I was in a hurry this morning.”
“There’s a car outside your house.”
They cruised down the driveway, toward the dark Mercedes parked in the large turning bay. A Mercedes that Callie realised was very familiar. Her breath caught in her throat and a bundle of nerves clenched into a knot at the pit of her stomach. Josh slowed her car to a halt and got out.
The knot in Callie’s stomach tightened even more when the driver’s door on the Mercedes swung open and Bruce Palmer stepped out. If she’d thought he looked as if he’d aged the other day in the boardroom it was nothing compared to how he looked now.
His skin was grey and hung from his cheeks in folds, his eyes were red-rimmed, his posture stooped and his normally immaculate suit rumpled.
Through Josh’s open door, she heard the older man’s voice tremble as he spoke.
“Irene told me. Is it true? Are you my son?”
“Yes.” Josh’s voice choked on the word.
Grief and joy flew across Bruce Palmer’s face and tears streaked down his cheeks. “My boy!”
The two men moved together as one, their arms outstretched one moment and clasped around one another the next as if nothing could ever tear them apart.
And as Callie watched Bruce hold his firstborn son for the very first time, she knew that finally everything would be all right. The great knot inside her unravelled and she got out of the car to follow them inside.
After making the men coffee, Callie left them alone together and took her things upstairs. She put everything away and then, loath to interrupt Josh and his father in their first chance to get to know each other, she moved outside, onto the main bedroom balcony. She looked down the hill and out to the water and wondered how they were doing. How they were coping with discovering each other as father and son.
She didn’t hear Josh come up behind her. She simply felt his warmth and strength against her back, his arms sliding around her waist. She leaned back against his chest.
“He had to go. The Guildarian consulate function is tonight, but he wants to come over tomorrow—to spend part of Christmas Day with us. He said he’s missed too many of them now to want to miss this one.”
“So everything’s okay?” she asked.
“Better than okay. I really didn’t know how it would feel—to actually see him face-to-face. To have him acknowledge that he is my father. But it was incredible. He talked to me about Mum, about how he tried to find her after she’d gone, but she’d done too good a job of disappearing. He kept an eye on the electoral rolls for years, hoping she’d crop up and he’d then be able to make sure she was okay. In the end he concluded that she must have left the country.” Josh took a deep breath and let it go in a rush of air. “I gave him the letters. I explained what you’d tried to do and we decided the best thing was to let them go. He finished what you started.”
“I’m glad. They needed to be let go.”
“Yeah. I know you can’t hold on to the past forever. He’s still very angry with Irene, but I know he will eventually forgive her. She finally told him the truth. Maybe they can start afresh when they move overseas. Who knows?”
“She had to protect what was hers. I know what she did came at a terrible cost to you and your mother, but she must have been desperately afraid of losing her husband. What’s important is that she did the right thing in the end.”
Josh pressed a kiss on the top of her head. “You’re too soft, you know that?”
“Maybe I am, but it got me you, didn’t it?”
“You’re right. Maybe I do owe Irene something after all. By the way, Bruce and I sketched up a plan to help Palmer Enterprises through the losses they’ve incurred with that erroneous deal I set up. With Bruce and Irene leaving for Guildara, I’ll be working with Adam—my brother. My God, my brother! All these years I’ve envied him, even hated him for having everything I didn’t, and now we’ll be working together.”
“Adam’s a great guy—focussed. A lot like you really.” Callie smiled. “You’ll work well together—most of the time.”
“Yeah, we’re bound to bump heads every now and then, but we’ll be working toward the same purpose, for a change.” Josh nuzzled the side of Callie’s neck. “It was good to talk to Bruce. We might never get to be as close as we could have been, but right now I feel as if the last pieces of my life have slotted into place, and it’s all because of you.”
“Me? How?”
“I came this close to ruining my own father and you stopped me. You made me question whether I was doing the right thing. I’ll never be able to repay you for that, Callie.”
“You don’t need to repay me, just love me.”
“I will always love you. Thank you. For everything.”
As they turned together and walked back inside, Callie knew that this Christmas would be one they’d remember forever.
It was the start of the rest of their lives.