‘Margaret, I have to tell you something.’
‘Oh, but I know what it is.’
‘How can you know?’
‘You’re leaving, aren’t you? Where are you being sent?’
It was a delicious spring afternoon. They were leaning against the fence, gazing over the soft green meadows of Atholl. She was looking as charming as he’d ever seen her.
‘Well, yes. Back to London for a while, the Service is in flux, now that it seems the war is ending. But not for two or three months. I’m due some leave.’
‘Oh, where are you taking it?’
‘I thought I’d travel in the States, perhaps go to Nevada, that kind of place.’
‘Nevada, it’s so big and wild, is that really a good idea, Mark dear?’
‘I thought we might go there together.’
‘What, just the two of us? That’s very radical. I mean, I know we’re witnessing the break-up of civilisation, but that does seem extreme. . .’
‘With some married friends, I mean. I thought the Grays from the embassy – they’re planning to go. . .’
‘Yes, but they’re married! And we’re just friends.’
‘More than friends, I hope.’
‘Is that so? More than friends? You’ve never even kissed me properly.’
‘I thought perhaps if we were engaged. . .’
She turned away from her inspection of the fields. ‘What are you saying, Mark? Is this a proposal? Really, you English. . .’
‘I suppose it is.’
‘You suppose it is, do you? You should make up your mind, it’s important. As you might say, a chap should have a clear view of such an issue.’ She laughed that laugh of hers, but she was not altogether amused. ‘I think we should walk out of the sun, it’s a little too hot, especially in the midst of such passion.’
They sat down on a fallen tree in the shade.
‘It’s a funny thing about foreigners,’ she said, ‘they’re much more attractive to me than Americans. Black men – at one time I found them madly appealing.’
‘Black men?’
‘Yes, black men. Lots of white women find black men attractive, though they don’t say so. And I’ve meant to say to you, I don’t like the way you speak about “niggers”. It’s a cruel term and it doesn’t become you.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I’ve travelled, I don’t in the least think white people are superior. I hate it when anyone despises other races because of their colour. Because you and I are educated and well off, we think we belong to a superior caste – but we don’t, we’re just lucky.’ She patted his knee reassuringly. ‘To continue my narrative, I went off my German professor around 1914. Then I don’t quite know which nationality I moved on to. . .’ Mark looked at her dumbly. ‘There’s Englishmen, of course. They can be a bit bloodless, but it does seem possible to be attracted to one.’
‘Does it?’
‘I believe so.’
‘Do you?’
‘Yes, Mark. Oh, my dear, can’t you imagine a girl might be attracted to you?’
‘Me?’
‘Yes, you, Mark. You. Shall I put it in a more English way? I do not dislike you at all, though of course only up to a point. And you don’t dislike me, do you?’
‘Of course I do. Don’t, I mean. . .’
‘My, this is passionate stuff. Was ever woman in this spirit wooed? Well, if you like me, I give you permission to kiss me. But only if you do it as though you meant it, not like a member of Her Majesty’s Diplomatic and Consular Service.’
After a while she drew herself away. ‘So, you can do it. Mark, I can imagine becoming not unfond of you. How about you, what do you feel?’
He blushed. ‘I’ve never been in love, to be honest.’ He put the thought of George out of his mind.
‘No? Well, you’ll recognise it when it happens, it’s unmistakable.’
She told him a lot about herself. He told her some half-truths about himself. She told him there was no chance of an engagement yet, they were not ready for it, and she’d certainly not come to Nevada. But when he looked doleful, she said she might visit him in his next posting when the war was over.
They were met with curious looks from the folks sitting on the verandah. ‘Been playing tennis? You look very cool.’
‘We’ve been talking,’ said Margaret. ‘A pleasant thing to do on a hot afternoon.’
Mark felt reassured, confused, hopeful, anxious, all at the same time. He liked her very much, more than any other woman he’d met. She understood him better than he did himself. Could they one day be happy together?