Chapter 8

When Alex came in from the garden and saw Samantha standing at the stove wearing not only a lovely pink dress, but also a killer pair of black stilettos, he could barely believe his eyes.

Oh God, he thought, shaken to his core; those legs of hers go on forever.

“Good Lord, Samantha,” he told her, glancing self-consciously down at his own grubby clothes. “I didn’t realize we were dressing up. What’s the occasion?”

Samantha felt herself blushing and wondered if Alex suspected this might be a set-up, wondered if she’d just inadvertently blown it for herself.

“Nothing,” she lied, shrugging casually. “I just felt like it, for a change, but you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s all good. Give me a minute and I’ll go get cleaned up.”

His glance raked her body before he left the room, and Samantha smiled to herself. He made her feel sexy and desirable, and she happily put the finishing touches on the dinner she was preparing.

Alex disappeared and she set the table, feeling deeply content. Things were going so well, in fact, she decided they might as well dine by candlelight, although it still wasn’t really dark enough for it. It did, however, add to the atmosphere, she had to admit. A few minutes later, Alex reappeared, freshly scrubbed and shaved, wearing a clean tie and jacket.

Her lips curled in a satisfied smile as she handed off the bottle of wine and delegated him to the task of opening it. He obliged her, handing her a glassful in one of his signature heavy, cut-crystal goblets.

Samantha sipped her wine, excited beyond all reason. Things were working out exactly as she’d hoped they would. The air was still and close, especially in the soft, radiant glow of the candlelight, and there was no one around to disturb them.

Alex was telling her about an idea he had for his next novel when he suddenly set his fork down and addressed her directly.

“Why don’t you come over here and sit closer, Samantha? I can barely see you over there.”

It had grown darker as they sat there, she realized, her heart skipping a beat. And Samantha knew if she’d been a bolder woman, she’d have flown across that table to be beside him, would’ve imposed her will upon him and taken him to her breast without hesitation.

Instead she contented herself with picking up her things and quietly moving to the chair beside him.

“This is really good,” he told her. “Especially the shrimp.”

“I wish I had some ice cream for dessert,” she said absently, suddenly nervous and not knowing how to segue into the whole subject of the hot tub.

“Well, if you want, I’ll take you into town tomorrow for some lunch and an ice cream.”

“All right.”

Now that she was so close to him, Samantha found herself losing her courage and resolve. She threw down another glass of wine to bolster her courage, afraid if she were somehow mistaken about all this, Alex might start avoiding her again. She knew in her heart she couldn’t bear even one more day of such solitude.

“Why are you drinking so much?” he asked her.

Shrugging, Samantha carefully studied her wineglass. The truth was, she did feel a little tipsy, but wasn’t sure if it was due to the wine or the long trip they’d taken that day.

“I just feel lonely,” she told him.

“Do you miss having boyfriends?”

Their eyes met and she felt hers misting over all of a sudden.

“No,” she replied. “It’s not that, exactly. I just...do you want to go sit in the hot tub with me? I’m feeling kind of stiff after that long mule ride.”

Alex glanced at her, his attention arrested. He seemed astonished by so strange and unique a request, for they hadn’t used the hot tub since they arrived at the ranch, and Samantha knew it was because of what had happened in Waikiki on her first night in Hawaii.

He tipped his head back a little, eyeing her with a guarded glance. Samantha tried very hard to look innocent, but she knew she wasn’t fooling him. And though she knew he wasn’t buying her excuse, he went along with it anyway and nodded.

Samantha, excited but dying not to show it, dashed to her room to put on the prettiest, sexiest bikini she owned. Once she was changed, she went across the living room and knocked softly at his bedroom door.

With a sweeping glance down the length of her body, Alex found himself being swept along, surrendering to her will, and he stepped back to let her in. Together they padded across his thick bedroom carpet and he opened the French doors leading out to the terrace. He’d set the wine and the glasses out there next to the Jacuzzi and he assisted her into it, then handed her one of them.

She tossed it back eagerly as he climbed in to sit opposite her.

“Does this help your loneliness?” he asked with a teasing chuckle.

Pretending not to have heard him, Samantha started talking about something else entirely.

“Do you know why my parents sent me to college?” she asked him.

“No. Why?”

“So I could meet a nice man. But all I came up with was Randy.”

Alex smiled and glanced away.

“Yeah? What was he like?”

“Oh, you wouldn’t have liked him at all, Alex. He was kind of selfish and greedy, and he was always onto me to change my major to something like Pre-Law or Accounting. Something with a future, he’d say.

“We were going to get married, but early in December, I broke it off.”

“Really? Without a Christmas present or a New Year’s date or anything? That’s very brave of you, Samantha. So then what happened?”

“Oh, nothing really happened, but I didn’t want to seem like I was using him just for the holidays. I was just sick and tired of trying to be someone I’m not. I mean, Randy didn’t want me, Alex. Not the real me. What he really wanted to do was change me. He wanted me to be more like him. And I’m not going to lie, I like nice things, but the world’s not coming to a screeching halt if I don’t have a brand-new BMW is it? The truth is, I- I just want to be a wife and a mother someday, not some crazy, grasping businesswoman.”

Samantha fell silent, content just to be near him and ponder her past.

There were no words for what she felt. She had no words with which to express herself, and after a while, she became conscious of the uncomfortable silence that had grown between them.

She reached for her wine glass and again threw back its contents. All at once, something clicked in her mind and she crossed the Jacuzzi to sit down right beside Alex. Before she knew what she was about, she pressed her lips to his.

And while he didn’t exactly fight her off, he barely returned her kiss, and when she broke it off, he held her away from him, smiling down at her, his eyes sparkling dangerously.

“You’re really breaking out of that shell of yours, aren’t you?”

She blew this comment off and kissed him again before she lost her nerve. And while Alex was distracted by her lips, she reached behind her head to untie the strings to her top, exposing her lovely, round breasts.

Her nipples were stiff and erect, despite the warmth, and Alex glanced down at them for a moment, aching to touch them, wanting more than anything to make love to her. And though it would be the easiest thing in the world to hurl himself into a romance with her, he knew well enough by now that she wasn’t a one-night-stand type of girl, that if he started this affair, he’d be forced to let it sweep him along on its natural-and most likely disastrous-course.

This love affair would also have to end, he knew, and he just couldn’t take that, so with a deep sigh of regret, he stilled his hand and turned his glance away.

“Samantha, wait,” he said softly, trying to inject the voice of reason. “Are you really sure you want to be doing this right now?”

His words had the expected effect on her. Suddenly falling back down to earth, Samantha stared at him, slack-jawed, such a look of profound shock and embarrassment on her face that he came very close to relenting.

He watched as she choked back a sob and reached down to yank her top back up hurriedly, retying the strings in a huff. She climbed from the Jacuzzi in what could only be described as a flounce and ducked back into the house without another word.

Before long, he heard the slamming of her bedroom door and sat back in the hot tub limply, knowing without a doubt he alone was the author of her pain.

She felt rejected and hurt, of course. Any girl would feel the same under such circumstances. It was only natural. He wondered what on earth he could possibly say to mollify her, to make things right between them.

A moment later, he found himself tapping at her door, not even bothering to dry off first.

“Samantha, come on out,” he said, dripping all over Mrs. K.’s clean, polished floor. “What’s the matter?”

Samantha, feeling ugly and hopeless and utterly humiliated, ignored him while she stripped off her wet swimsuit and put on something respectable. She went into her bathroom to hang it up and he knocked again, more impatient than before, a little more insistent.

“Come on, Samantha,” he called through the door. “Open up, will you?”

And she, knowing it wasn’t his fault she was such a failure with men, got up and opened the door a crack.

Alex pushed it open and gazed at her with regret and just a touch of irritation in his eyes.

“Damn it, Samantha, I’m sorry. I...I just wasn’t expecting that, okay?”

He tried to come close to her, but she pulled away,

“It’s okay, Alex,” she said off-handedly. “I guess I just suck with men.”

“Why do you say that?” he asked her, slinging an arm around her shoulders. He led her to the neutral ground of the living room couch, and once he’d settled her on it, he gazed at her thoughtfully, as if trying to decide how to proceed. And not for the first time, Samantha realized there was something holding him back, something keeping him from expressing his true feelings, but she hadn’t the least idea what it could be.

“Samantha, I don’t want to be taking advantage of you,” he said, as if reading her mind.

“You’re not. You’re not, Alex. You can’t be, not if it’s my idea. Not if I decide I want to be with you, not if I’m the one who wants it.”

“Yes I can, Samantha. Look, I...you’re a lovely young woman,” he continued, dropping to his knees in front of her, seizing her hands in his. “You’re beautiful and interesting and fun to be with, but I just...I need more time, okay? I just don’t know how to handle you yet, all right?”

She glanced down at him. His eyes radiated a strange blend of mischief, desire, and prudence. She found herself wanting more than ever to kiss him, and she shut her eyes, feeling weak, dying to feel his hands on her, craving the heat of his body next to hers, and wanting more than anything for him to open up to her like he almost did on the drive home from Kalaupapa.

“I need you, Alex.”

He knew she spoke the truth, and God, he needed her too, but it was way too risky. Something told him he wasn’t anywhere near ready to give her up, that he cared about her way too deeply and would suffer madly if she left.

And so, for once, he allowed his head to override his dick and he stood up to go blow out the candles still burning on the table.

“You’d better go to bed, Samantha,” he told her soothingly, not even daring to risk a glance in her direction. “You’ve had too much to drink. We both have.”

And Samantha, wounded to her soul, bolted from the room to do as he bid her.