A Novel About Patrick

Second or third house on the left coming up,

second floor, window twenty-one, I believe.

Window looking for a window, the window

at your back, sitting on the window-sill,

watching the opposite pavement thick from strain.

As you read, try the word on, kingly plunderer,

to be found stolen in a century. You should stop

using these minimum dreams as fuel,

I so enthustiastically underscore lines of yours,

I haven’t been to the pawnshop in two months.

And right you are, never is, never was,

you just listen, listen—you hit the nail

on the head, you were as good as here, and burst

in you will, as if the presence of a faultless angel:

how two-in-one you are to me,

my soul is not that virgin. So he went on promising,

(page torn) and this over and over, she was crying,

she was undressed by a man with your ring on his hand.

At the city limits she watched eighteen trains go by,

her eyes cannot be paired up, sodden doorways of flame.

I am weary of cranial partitions and fabulously busy

like giving birth for the twelfth time and,

as fate would have it, I have so far been unable

to take my place at that window:

you force yourself through solid crowds

on pilgrimages buying in closed shops, your pocket

swelling with what was left over from the selling

of a medal, pocket lined with smashed eggs

and sunflower seeds. Please don’t think I have designs

on the days of the week, like verbs with holes in them.

The past is ripped off like a shutter in a storm,

a car cries out like a cuckoo, or coughs

like an old man opening desk drawers. Once

the sirens sound I hold on to the edge of my Remington

from early in the morning, gun salvos broke

into our house at any time of the evening.

I was that angel of modesty that heated your flat

with my Greek scent, I would scrupulously

scrape my feet and clean my clothes with a brush

moistened in disinfectant. I opened

the storm windows to air I had ceased breathing

long ago, when I made that gesture of denial

against your hands, with the waiter standing

observing my mouth. New waves of the old feeling.

When the train came to a halt near the porcelain factory

they said there was a storm on the lake, they said there

was no storm. In a photograph I study with the eyes

of two families, the city rises outside

the windows of the Hotel Octobre,

my book smiles at me anew, from the window.