Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock.
MATTHEW 7:24
Since 1976 we’ve been working with engaged couples, and we know some of what you’re feeling as you move closer to your wedding day and this thing called marriage.
Excited, yet apprehensive.
Confident, yet fearful.
Exhausted, yet energized.
It’s a mixture of powerful emotions, isn’t it?
You feel exhilarated at the thought of spending the rest of your lives together. Life could not be better. It’s the best part of the Cinderella fairy tale: magical, romantic, hope-filled.
Maybe, though, you also have some gnawing doubts: Can I do this? Am I ready for marriage? Maybe divorce has touched you in some way— perhaps your parents split up, or perhaps some friends have divorced—so you may wonder, Is it even possible in this culture to build a marriage that lasts?
We’d like to answer that final question with a resounding YES! It is possible to build the type of marriage relationship you dream about—one of intimacy and trust and unshakeable commitment.
As long as you build your marriage on the right foundation.
In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus spoke about two different possible foundations for a life:
Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it (Matthew 7:24–27).
What do Jesus’ words mean to you as individuals? The foundation for life is knowing and obeying what Jesus has commanded you to do. In the Scriptures there is divine wisdom that provides guidance and direction for you just as it did two thousand years ago.
No matter what storms you may face in life—suffering, injustice, tragedy, economic ruin—you can stand strong if you build your marriage on the right foundation—knowing and applying God’s Word in everyday life. Psalm 1 offers a similar word picture when it describes a man who delights in God’s Word as “a tree firmly planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. And in all whatever he does, he prospers” (verse 3, NASB).
What do Jesus’ words mean to you in marriage? Jesus promised that you will experience storms in life. Those storms will both test and reveal what kind of foundation you are building your home on. And as you seek to build a home together, you can do it with confidence if you both choose that same foundation of knowing God’s Word and seeking to obey it in your life together.
Many couples today build their homes on a foundation of sand. For example, they may build it upon a romantic fantasy—the belief that the love they feel for each other is so strong, so special, that it will carry them through any thing. Then they face the inevitable storms that buffet and pound a marriage—storms like selfishness, temptation, financial challenges, differences and conflict, illness, and much more. At some point they realize their feelings have changed—they don’t love each other as they once did. They’ve drifted apart—they don’t feel as close. And they don’t know how to halt the drift and change direction.
But you can be assured that your marriage will endure as long as you are pursuing God together. Marriage first and foremost is a spiritual relationship. It works best when two people are connected to God individually—walking with Him, serving Him, obeying Him and praying to Him; and connected to God together—walking with Him, serving Him, obeying Him and praying to Him as a couple. If you leave God out, if you push the spiritual dimension to the side, then you ignore the very God who created this institution and the God who can help you be successful in making it work.
It takes surrender to Jesus Christ by two broken, selfish individuals for those same two individuals to truly experience marriage as He designed it.
As Louis Giglio says of marriage, “If you miss the fact that God is at the heart of it all, you’ll miss it all.”
Discuss