(PART TWO)
And I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here am I. Send me!”
ISAIAH 6:8
In the previous devotion I discussed the first four items on my list of nonnegotiables of life. For a baseball player, the nonnegotiables are hitting, running, throwing, catching, etc. For you, a committed follower of Jesus Christ, the overall nonnegotiable is walking with Christ so that to others your life reflects who God is and what He is like. This applies as well to your marriage: It was designed by God to give the world a glimpse of God. And these nonnegotiables are the foundation of a solid marriage relationship.
Nonnegotiable 5: Obey God, not your appetites. In 1 Corinthians 9:24-27, Paul points out that you need to exercise “self-control in all things” and to “run in such a way that you may win” (NASB). Your appetites are the passions that you have within you that are contrary to the spirit, craving and battling to be satisfied. If you give in even the slightest to these desires, the enemy can launch an attack in your life and against your marriage.
At the same time, the trivial act of giving in through obedience to God may impact for good another person’s life or be the impetus to launch a powerful life-changing ministry. Your passions must be surrendered to Jesus Christ. Ultimately, this is how you as a couple can build a marriage that can stand firm in the storms of life.
Obedience to God demands two main things: (1) the courage to say no to self, no to appetites, no to lusts of the flesh, no to bitterness, no to what comes naturally and yes to following Christ; and (2) faithfulness—persevering endurance to seek God, and to follow His call, even through suffering. Only by yielding to Christ can you obey God, not your appetites.
Nonnegotiable 6: Serve God, not self. If you are like most people, you awaken in the morning and think about yourself—what you will wear, what you will eat, where you will go and how you can meet your own needs. But marriage is a call to serve another person. Marriage is redemptive—it calls you away from self-preoccupation. And, if you are to truly serve your spouse, you must deny yourself and ask God to enable you to serve Him and others. Serving God means that you give up your will and surrender to His will.
At the end of 1972, in the first year of our marriage, Barbara and I decided that before we would give anything to each other for Christmas, we would surrender our lives in writing to Jesus Christ. Each of us wrote out a “Title Deed to My Life,” giving Jesus Christ ownership of our lives—including everything we ever dreamed of having or accomplishing. That decision, represented by those two documents, was determinative. It answered the question: Who will we serve, self or God? You need to answer the same question.
Nonnegotiable 7: Worship God, not comfort. In your journey together, you will experience many seasons in your marriage. How you respond as a couple to the wintry seasons is critical. Habakkuk 3:17-18 paints a picture of trusting God, no matter what circumstances you find yourself in:
Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
Although it is normal to desire to live a life of ease and comfort, when you are comfortable, you can easily forget God.
No one enjoys suffering, but after experiencing many such uncomfortable wintry seasons, we can tell you that we have benefited from the growth that occurs as a result.
Barbara and I have given thanks for inadequate paychecks, for misunderstandings and unmet expectations, for a teenage son who was stricken with a rare neurological disorder that took away his ability to run, and for the betrayal of friends and a family member. Ours is a marriage that has experienced spectacular bright mountaintops and deep dark valleys. Pain has pressed us against our Savior and reminded us that we are not in control. In all these things, we have learned how to give thanks to God and worship Him.
To sum up these seven nonnegotiables into one statement: “Life is all about God.”
Discuss