BY BARBARA RAINEY
What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.
MARK 10:9
For over a century many have been captivated by the story of the Titanic—the gigantic, “unsinkable” ocean liner that hit an iceberg on its maiden voyage and sank on April 15, 1912. Of all the stories from that fateful night, perhaps my favorite is of Isidor and Ida Straus, the elderly owners of Macy’s department store in New York City.
As the Titanic was sinking, Isidor and Ida stood in line for the lifeboats. But there was not enough space for all aboard, and priority was given to women, children and the elderly. When Isidor declared he would not board a lifeboat until the other men did, Ida refused to leave his side. He urged her to save herself, but she is reported to have said, “We have lived together many years. Where you go, I go.”
And so they died together. Isidor’s body was later found, but Ida’s was lost. In a cemetery in the Bronx, a monument dedicated to both of them has on it these words: “Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it” (Solomon 8:7, KJV).
Somehow the drama of Ida’s love and devotion has captured the public’s imagination through the years. In an age when so many marriages end in divorce, this story of unbreakable commitment strikes a chord—it is what we long for when we marry.
In the last devotion we looked at Genesis 2:24, part of the narrative of God establishing the institution of marriage. I like the phrasing of that Scripture in the King James Version: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” In this context, “cleave” means to adhere, to stick fast.
The marriage ceremony is a symbol of “leaving and cleaving.” A father walks the bride up the aisle and leaves her after giving her to the groom; then the couple repeats their vows, declaring to God and to their friends and family that they will cleave to each other as husband and wife for a lifetime—“for better, for worse . . . for richer, for poorer . . . in sickness and in health . . . forsaking all others . . . ’till death do us part.”
For a true follower of Jesus Christ, this is the most sacred commitment two people ever make. As Jesus remarked, “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Mark 10:9). This commitment is truly a step of faith, because most couples on their wedding day have little understanding of how this commitment will be tested. That certainly was true of Dennis and me. After years of marriage, we have known more days of joy and profound love than we can count, but on our wedding day how were we to know about the other sorts of days?
We didn’t know about the days when our budget would be strained. We didn’t know about the days when those differences in personality that seemed so attractive during our courtship and engagement would become the fuel for countless arguments. We didn’t know about the serious health issues I would face. We didn’t know we would have six children, each with his or her own sufferings that we the parents felt intensely. We didn’t know about the dark days when our hearts would be broken.
On our wedding day, we didn’t understand that we were committing to love, not only the person standing across from us, but also the person each would become. That is the great unknown of marriage.
We’ve never considered divorce, not because we didn’t have problems difficult enough to warrant it, but because we decided from the beginning that it wasn’t an option. Our conviction has always been that God had called us together; therefore, with His help we would find a way through each crisis, knowing He can and will bring good to us if we keep believing and don’t quit.
I hope and pray that this is your mutual conviction, too, as your wedding day nears. You both must make this decision. You can’t know today if you have the ability to fulfill the vows you’re about to make, but you can know that God will give you the strength to accomplish whatever He calls you to, for He has said, “Nothing is too difficult for Me” (see Jeremiah 32:27). Has God called the two of you together? Then believe that He will give both of you the strength and perseverance you need to fulfill His calling.
There is an incredible security in knowing that no matter what happens, your spouse will be there by your side, till death do you part. After more than 4 decades of knowing that security, I can’t imagine life without it.
Discuss