Have you ever driven on a big city freeway—one of those with about five lanes in each direction? It can be a harrowing experience. You don’t like that lane on the far right, because it’s slow—too many trucks and too much merging traffic. You avoid it unless your exit is approaching. If you’re like me, you stick to a middle lane—not too fast, and you can maneuver more easily.
But lots of people like that lane on the far left—the fast lane. They are determined to save those extra five minutes, and they don’t care about those pesky speed limits. There’s danger in moving that fast, but they’re used to it—and they like the speed.
In many ways, you are now living in that fast lane. The months before your wedding are a rush of planning and parties and frenetic activity. You live off emotion and adrenalin.
And then comes “the marriage.”
Engagement certainly was fast for us. In fact, our entire courtship was spent in the fast lane. Though we had been friends for a few years, our courtship really began in the summer of 1972. We dated for six weeks, got engaged and then were married six weeks after that! We often recommend short engagements for couples, but ours may have been just a bit too quick.
There’s one big problem with life in the fast lane during engagement. It’s fine for preparing for a wedding but not for preparing to do marriage. Not for building a relationship. That takes time and thought and communication.
That’s what this devotional is for—to help you periodically pull out of that fast lane as your wedding approaches. Even if you can’t slow the pace of wedding planning, it’s still possible to carve out some time together each day to focus on your relationship.
This book is not designed to replace premarital counseling; you need to make sure you spend time with a pastor, counselor or mentor who will help you learn the basics of God’s blueprints for marriage. In fact, we have a great workbook, Preparing for Marriage, designed for that purpose. And if you are really looking for the very finest training that will prepare you for marriage, we recommend that you not only go through that workbook together but also attend a FamilyLife Weekend to Remember® marriage getaway before you marry (check it out at www.weekendtoremember.com).
What this devotional will do is offer practical insights into doing marriage God’s way. And it will help you begin to develop your spiritual life together—reading the Scriptures together, praying and talking about the divine blueprints for building a home and how they apply to your life together.
We suggest spending 20 to 30 minutes on each devotion. Take turns reading aloud to one another; then answer the discussion questions at the end, and conclude your time by praying for one another, asking God to help you apply each truth to your relationship. These spiritual disciplines will be among the most important steps you take as you prepare for doing marriage together. Also note that there are a few devotions specifically for men and a few specifically for women, but even those will conclude by your coming together to share what you’ve learned.
It is our hope that these devotions will provide a needed rest stop in your daily activity—a time to slow down and focus on the wonderful mystery of two becoming one.
Congratulations! Doing marriage God’s way is really the adventure of a lifetime!
Dennis and Barbara Rainey