Ok, so I live in a pretty saturated neighborhood. We don’t have Duane Read or Walgreens or any of those. We have Metro Drugs. There is one greasy guy who is always there, and I’ve never seen any other clerks working there... until today. I called out sick from work so that I could pull my shit together. I got Ruby to play hooky with me, and we hung out all day watching all the American Pie movies. Somehow American Beauty got mixed in which weirded me out.
I let Ruby finish watching while I went down to the pharmacy to get some booze for comfort. I get in line behind the - I only have coins lady - and there he was. The daytime clerk at Metro Drugstore. I’d recognize that hipster leather wristband anywhere. I noticed his name tag, Bruce. He was counting dimes and looking right at me. He was actually super-cute up close. I started to get fluttery. When it was my turn, I just gave him a familiar Hey . And he’s like Hey, how are you? So, I try to keep it together and answer him without turning beet red. There was definitely a chemistry between us. Then he hands me my bag and sputters would you maybe want to go out thometime? I inadvertently tugged at my ear, like maybe I heard him wrong, but after that he says, I’m Bruthe, by the way , and pointed at his name tag as if he knew I needed subtitles. I then swallowed my giggle and said Let’s quit while we’re ahead . I power-walked my ass out of there.
Clearly, there was no love connection beyond our apartment windows. Oh well. I guess the moral here is that sometimes a fantasy should be left as just that. Reality is oftentimes just not as thexthy (get it? sexy with a lisp). Oh c’mon, it’s not mean. It’s honest.