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THE AIRCRAFT SYSTEMS academics were short and to the point. The aircraft had two engines, two tails, and two seats. Their instructor, who went only by the name “Alexei,” had said little else with his broken English in their hour-long ground school. At least, that was about all Woody had understood as he struggled to understand due to Alexei’s heavy accent.
The team had a quick lunch in the hangar – sandwiches that had been flown in on Kruger’s Gulfstream to ensure no chance of tampering. After, they paired up with the Russian instructors for their first flight in the SU-30. Woody was paired with Alexei, which he knew might pose a challenge once airborne due to the language barrier.
“So why you want learn to fly?” Alexei asked as they sat down.
The team had set up four folding tables in the hangar where the instructors and students could brief the mission. Kruger, Spectre, and Woody were scheduled to go up for the first event while Sparky, Dusty, and Tuna would get their turn shortly thereafter. They would each get two sorties and then follow up with three the next day.
“I just do what I’m told, comrade,” Woody said with a shrug.
“You do not know mission?” Alexei asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Look, man, I barely know where I am half the time,” Woody said. “I just fly what they tell me to fly. Are you going to teach me?”
Alexei smiled. “Of course. I teach you. No problems.”
“Well how the hell do you start this thing?” Woody asked as he picked up the pocket checklist out of his helmet bag.
“Is very easy. I show you,” Alexei said.
He briefed the mission for the next twenty minutes. Woody would ride in the front seat and perform all of the checklists. Alexei quickly walked him through the procedures, and reassured Woody that it would all make sense once they were strapped into the jet.
Once started, they would takeoff and fly to the working airspace about twenty miles to the west. Alexei would handle the radios and direct Woody where to go for the departure and arrival. He just wanted Woody to focus on flying the aircraft and learning its handling characteristics.
“Do you have questions?” Alexei asked as he finished his brief.
“More than I’d like to admit!”
Alexei gave Woody a confused look.
“Never mind,” he said as he realized Alexei didn’t understand his dry sense of humor. “I’m ready when you are, sir.”
“Da,” Alexei said. “We go now.”
Woody nodded as he grabbed his notes and helmet bag. He headed to the corner of the hangar where their gear had been hung on wooden pegs.
“All of your gear from home,” Spectre said as he suited up alongside Woody.
Woody leaned over and whispered to Spectre. “Dude, this is nuts! Are you sure it’s safe?”
Spectre laughed. “You paid attention to the ejection seat brief, right?”
“Yeah.” Woody replied as his voice jumped an octave.
“Just make sure it’s armed before you taxi,” Spectre replied with a wink.
“Seriously, dude, this is worse than the Navy. Five rides in two days with a guy that barely speaks coherent English? And while I appreciate the Woody-level academics involving counting engines and tails like The Count on Sesame Street, I’m not sure that’s really the best way to learn an airplane.”
Spectre put his hand on Woody’s shoulder before turning to walk out. “I have faith in you, buddy.”
Woody laughed nervously. “Not helpful!”
Woody finished zipping his G-suit and put on his harness. He stuffed his helmet into his helmet bag and headed toward the hangar door. Some of the operators that he had been introduced to before were standing guard in various locations of the hangar, carrying rifles and wearing earpieces. They seemed to at least be taking security very seriously. He just wished they were a little more in depth when it came to learning the airplanes.
Woody found Alexei just outside the hangar and they walked side by side to the row of jets a few hundred feet from the hangar.
“Not to be nervous,” Alexei said. “We will not die.”
“What makes you say that?” Woody asked.
“Your friend say you are nervous. Like little girl.”
“No way, man! I’m just trying not to kill myself. That’s not nervous. I’m just not suicidal!”
Alexei laughed. “Relax. Is good.”
“Relax,” Woody mimicked under his breath as he shook his head.
They made it to the aircraft and Woody shadowed Alexei for the preflight. As with everything else, it seemed rushed and incomplete to Woody. When they climbed up the ladder and Alexei showed Woody the ejection seat preflight, he made sure to slow Alexei down to be certain he understood every detail. He then thoroughly checked the seat a second and third time before climbing into the front seat.
Woody suddenly felt like he was back in Ohio learning how to fly for the first time. He felt exactly like he had the first time he crammed into the little Cessna 150 with his slightly overweight instructor. Both then and now, everything in the cockpit looked foreign and he wasn’t entirely convinced that his instructor would safely bring them back home alive.
But the difference was, that back then his fears were unfounded and he had no real experience in flying to know any better. His instructor ended up being a great pilot and teacher. He was a big farm boy from Alabama who had spent much of his life flying crop dusters and subsequently was a great stick, despite the weight and balance issues his size posed.
Now, he really was in a foreign aircraft. Although someone had used stickers to placard over controls and instruments in English, the readouts and displays were still either in metric or Russian. And Woody wasn’t entirely sure Alexei wasn’t a spy, or drunk on vodka, or both. He just hoped the seat worked if it came down to it.
Woody turned on the battery and established communications with Alexei. He stumbled through the startup checklist with Alexei trying to talk him through it like a nervous Air Force pilot training student on his dollar ride in T-6s.
After thirty minutes, they were finally ready to taxi. Alexei called for taxi and the controller responded in Russian. Woody had no idea what the two said and did nothing until Alexei translated.
“Go straight. Turn left at Taxiway Alpha,” Alexei directed.
Woody pushed up the power, noticing that it took a lot more throttle to get moving than the A-10 he had most recently been flying. He tried to set up the radar display as they turned onto Taxiway Alpha, but soon realized it was a wasted effort since he understood none of the menus.
The controller gave them further taxi instructions to the runway that Alexei translated for Woody once more. As they reached the end of runway holding area, they pulled up to the other three aircraft and were fourth in line for takeoff.
He saw Spectre in the front seat of the third aircraft and flipped him off. Spectre laughed and returned a thumbs up before going heads down, seemingly setting something up with the avionics.
Woody looked back down at the takeoff and abort speeds he had scribbled onto the card on his kneeboard. The numbers were in kilometers per hour and made no sense to Woody whatsoever.
One-by-one, the three aircraft took the runway individually and took off. The ground shook as their afterburners lit and they accelerated down the runway to take off.
“Line up and wait,” Alexei prompted from the backseat as he and the controller exchanged another radio call.
Woody taxied onto the runway and held position. Another brief exchange between Alexei and the controller led Alexei to say, “Cleared takeoff.”
Watching the engine indications, Woody pushed the throttles to the military power stop and watched the engine instruments. He looked for the gauges to settle within the operating limit numbers he had highlighted on his checklist. Once he was satisfied, he released the brakes and pushed the throttles through the afterburner gate.
The afterburners lit, gently pushing Woody into his seat as the aircraft accelerated down the runway. The airspeed accelerated rapidly in the HUD as Woody struggled to crosscheck them with the numbers he had written.
Within seconds, the SU-30 lifted off the runway. Woody raised the gear and climbed at a shallow angle. It accelerated like a rocket. It felt more powerful than anything he had ever flown before.
The aircraft accelerated and he suddenly felt Alexei on the controls. “I have aircraft,” he said abruptly.
Woody let go of the stick. Alexei lowered the nose and accelerated just over a hundred feet off the ground. When they reached the end of the runway, Alexei violently pulled the stick back into a seventy-degree climb.
“Whoa! Low tranny!” Woody said.
As Alexei checked in with the departure controller and the controller rattled off instructions to him in Russian, Woody looked over his shoulder at the runway and airfield disappearing behind them. It was the most impressive unrestricted climb he had ever experienced.
For the first time all day, Woody smiled behind his mask. Despite the feeling of impending death, it was still a lot of fun.
Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea after all.