It wasn’t until I met aliens who acted like humans that I truly understood how annoying humans are.

—Amanda Cantrell, Diary

“This may be the single biggest danger humanity’s ever faced. But how come they brought you in?” said Alex, frowning darkly up at Dr. X.

“Yeah,” said Fisher. “As I recall, you were supposed to be spending the next few lifetimes in a little concrete room eating canned string beans off of a Styrofoam tray. Besides, you’ve tried to rule the world twice. Why would you even want to help?”

“My boy,” Dr. X said, “exactly how much of a world would be left for me to rule after the Gemini have consumed it? I am as invested in our planet’s survival as you are. I was temporarily released from my prison because, like it or not, my country—my world—needs my help. Besides”—he lifted his arm, allowing the sleeve of his white coat to fall down and revealing a tight steel bracelet—“I’m on a very, very short leash. A leash that will render me unconscious if I pull on it too hard,” he said.

Fisher and Alex exchanged a look. At least Dr. X was being very closely monitored. Clearly, the MORONS weren’t taking any chances.

“All right,” Fisher said, sighing. “So what else do you know?”

“Fortunately, I’ve been able to make significant repairs to this craft,” Dr. X said, pointing up at the prow of the ship jutting high overhead. The metal glimmered in the lab lights. “But there is still an enormous quantity of work to do. I could use your help,” he added bluntly.

“What kind of help?” said Amanda, narrowing her eyes.

“There are some … items I need you to fetch for me,” Dr. X said. For the first time, he seemed uncomfortable. He wouldn’t look Fisher in the eye, but instead studied the hull of the ship, as if the most fascinating story ever were written there.

Warning lights started blinking in Fisher’s mind. Dr. X was a genius, and he could plan very far ahead. He might continue asking for seemingly harmless items for days or weeks, all the while assembling them into some kind of weapon for his escape.

“What kind of items?” Alex said coldly. He was obviously thinking the same thing as Fisher was.

“The food here is terrible,” said Dr. X with a shrug. “I’d like, for starters, a truly gargantuan Reuben sandwich.”

“You want us to make a deli run??” Amanda squealed, outraged. “When the future of our species is at stake?”

“How do you expect me to save our world with an unsatisfied gullet?” X said, blinking at her. “And perhaps on Thursday a turkey might not be out of the question. It is Thanksgiving, after all.”

Fisher looked at Alex.

“Is there anything non-food related on your list?” Fisher said. “Anything at all?”

“Possibly,” Dr. X said. He turned back to the chart of the ship projected on his computer. “See here? There’s a large cavity in the ship’s port side. It looks like a cargo chamber—but missing its cargo. We’ve had teams scouring the crash site, but saw no evidence of damaged freight. Any ideas?”

Fisher puzzled over the diagram.

“I don’t know,” he said, scratching his chin. “Maybe it’s some kind of escape pod? Maybe the Gemini loaded and jettisoned important equipment so it wouldn’t be hurt in the crash?”

“Could be,” agreed Alex. “Or maybe it was a backup power source or a secondary engine.”

“We’ve barely been able to restore minimal power to this ship,” Dr. X said. “If the missing item is a fully functional piece of this ship’s technology, then studying it in operation would give us very valuable information. Perhaps you might be able to locate it, particularly since you have an in with the Gemini.”

“Yeah, about that.” Alex coughed. “I think relations are a little sour at the moment.”

“Still, we have to try,” Fisher said. Despite his hatred of the evil former teacher/megalomaniac, Dr. X did have a good point. “If we can figure out their technology, we might be able to get in the ship and use it to our advantage. The Gemini must have a weakness. We just need to figure out what it is.”

“Agreed,” said Veronica. “It’s time to reclaim the Earth.”

“Absolutely!” Dr. X said. He turned to Fisher and put his hand up. “High five!”

Fisher sent a crinkled look at Alex, but after a moment’s pause he slapped his own palm into Dr. X’s, hopefully hard enough to sting.

“It’s settled, then,” said Dr. X. “Find the missing mystery piece of the ship, study it in operation, and bring me as much data as possible. And don’t forget that sandwich—extra sauerkraut.”