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“It’s raining dogs and cats out there!” Kane exclaimed as he looked out the window. He turned to his partner Levi, who looked up from reading the newspaper.
“You know I love you, Kane, but sometimes I hate when you say your silly little sayings. Not to mention you said it wrong. Why can’t you just say it’s raining heavily?”
“It’s called an idiot, darling,” Kane said, walking to Levi.
“Idiom,” Levi muttered.
“What?” Kane said.
“It’s called an idiom.”
Kane threw his arms around Levi’s shoulders, kissing his hair as he leaned down. Levi leaned his head back and planted a kiss on Kane’s lips, enjoying the rough bit of stubble.
A loud thumping on the roof broke them apart, Levi standing up next to Kane. Both men looked up at the ceiling, the thumping continuing.
The men rushed to the window and looked out, their jaws hanging open.
Outside the house, dead animals—dogs and cats—littered the wet ground. Their corpses were piled up, lifeless.
“Fucking impossible!” exclaimed Levi. “Since when have animals fell from the fucking sky?”
“Maybe it’s some kind of tornado?” Kane suggested. “Or a plane had its cargo doors open?” His voice quivered as he stared out the window, motionless.
“You did this!” Levi said, his voice accusing.
“How could I fucking make cats and dogs fall from the sky?” Kane yelled, taking a step back.
“You said it was raining cats and dogs, and now it literally is raining cats and bloody dogs!”
“What, so now I’m psychic or something? Rainman or... or Harvey Bloody Potter?”
“It’s Harry Potter! We’ve been together for three years now, and you don’t even know my favourite fucking book series character. Some boyfriend you are...” Levi shook his head, exasperated.
“You knew I wasn’t smart when we first shagged and you were okay to stay with me. You love my body, not my brains,” Kane said, attempting to placate things. “I’m sorry, darling.”
“I forgive you, but I’m still making you re-watch all the movies this weekend.”
“Deal. But how about we deal with this... thing outside? What would Harry Potter do? Is there some spell to make it go away? Woof-gardium Levi-meow-sa?”
“Don’t do that. Don’t you make fun of it!” Levi’s face was one big warning sign.
Together they moved back to the window, staring out as the animals continued to fall from the sky, small mountains of bloody, matted fur.
“There’s too many out there to be an aeroplane collision,” Levi said. “Let’s look out the front and see if it’s any different.” They held hands as they walked to the front of the house. There was no difference in weather out the front.
“Maybe your storm idea is correct,” Levi said. “Though it seems like a massive coincidence to believe. You and your bloody sayings.” Levi smiled, a peace offering.
“Surely it isn’t magic though. Magic isn’t real. Is it?” Kane’s face screwed up as he peered out the window.
“Well I guess you’ve let the cat out of the bag now, Kane,” Levi joked. “How about we let sleeping dogs lie?”
“But they’re dead, not sleeping,” Kane said, not understanding the joke.
“I’m trying to use one of your idioms. Look, forget it. Let’s turn on the TV and see if there’s any news about it,” Levi said, moving to the lounge. When he turned on the television there was no signal.
“Damn cats must have ruined the aerial!” Levi said.
“Don’t forget about the dogs,” Kane added. Levi glared at him in reply. “Sorry, darls.”
At that moment, a loud bang reverberated through the air from outside, the power also going out.
“Power’s out,” Kane said, looking around at the appliances.
“No shit, Sherlock!”
“Now who’s using an idiom?” Kane muttered.
“Are you sure you don’t mean idiot?” Levi felt his heart quicken as he tried to bring his anger under control. When it came to situations out of his control and comfort zone, Levi turned to anger to feel normal again. It was something he had been working on with his therapist. He took his breaths and counted to ten before continuing.
“Look, I’m sorry. It’s just so strange to have animals falling from the sky, and I’m scared. We were expecting a summer storm, but this is ridiculous. Surely I’m dreaming.” Levi looked at his phone, which had no signal.
“Anything?” Kane asked. “I’ve got nothing.” He held up his phone as if Levi might have thought he was lying.
“Me neither. Looks like these stupid things outside have cut off power and communication lines. Wi-Fi doesn’t even work without electricity.”
The thumping on the roof subsided, making Kane and Levi look up at the ceiling.
“Seems like it’s stopping,” Kane said. “Want to go outside and check things out?”
“That could be pretty dangerous, Kane. What if they’re full of disease?” Levi said, peering warily out the window.
“The neighbours are out there too. Maybe they know what’s happening?” Kane said, beginning to unlock the front door. He took a step outside, and quickly poked his head back in. “I hope they hurry up with the electricity. It’s as hot as an oven out here.” He grabbed a hat and went outside, waving to their neighbour.
Levi hesitated, watching Kane through the window. The weather did seem warm. Much hotter than usual. He felt the sweat bead on his skin as he made his way into the thermometer in the kitchen.
“Fuck me,” he muttered as he saw the digital temperature reading on the display. “Forty-eight fucking degrees! And it’s not even Christmas yet!” He looked out the kitchen window, his clothes soaked through, sticking to his body. The sun blazed down on the animal corpses in the backyard, heat emanating through the glass. Levi glanced back at the thermometer, which now showed a reading of fifty-nine degrees. Rushing to the front window, thermometer still in hand, Levi looked out to Kane, who was nowhere in sight.
Feeling faint, Levi moved to the front door, where Kane had made a path through the corpses. About halfway down the path, Kane laid across a number of dead animals, his skin red and burnt. Kane was as lifeless as the animal bodies around him, one arm thrown across his eyes.
Levi glanced at the thermometer, which now flashed seventy-seven degrees, the numbers increasing every few seconds. As he collapsed to the floor, the memory of Kane’s last words echoed through Levi’s brain: “It’s as hot as an oven out here.”