Just F*cking Do It

Karma is a bitch, you’ve probably heard. It can well be that, but karma is not about punishment and it should not be viewed this way. It is a powerful energy exchange that keeps us learning. Every time we think, speak or act we’re putting energy out into the world that then reflects back to us. Karma is both an action and the consequence of that action; it is cause and effect simultaneously because every action generates a force of energy that returns to us in kind. Simply put, it’s ‘Give and it will be given to you.’

Simply believing in karma and not acting on that belief has no real effect. It is about as useful as believing in healthy eating without changing your bad diet. You should have a clear understanding of karma and apply that understanding to your life to find inner peace and happiness. When I visited Los Angeles for the very first time back in 2015, I was quite honestly shocked to see the level of homelessness. Every street corner had people living on it. What I have always found quite distressing is people’s attitude towards homeless people and the resistance to giving them money on the grounds that ‘it will only be used for drugs’. I truly believe that nobody chooses to live their life like that, and compassion should be exercised.

One evening, we walked past a man lying on the sidewalk and my daughter, who was three at the time, asked in sadness why that man didn’t have a bed. When I explained to her that not everyone has a home, she asked whether she could give her apple to him. I said, of course she could, and my heart was warmed by her kindness. She left it by his head with a smile on her face and I felt grateful that my child had compassion. Later that day, she asked if we could give some more apples to homeless people, and we gladly obliged by helping her with her quest.

It was a funny exercise with a mixed bag of responses. The first man she pointed at had a clear sign up saying, ‘Don’t give me money give me drugs’. I didn’t think an apple would do and, as I didn’t have any crack to hand, we walked past to the next man. He happily took the apple and thanked us for our kindness. We continued walking and Layla pointed at a homeless man sitting at a bus stop. I walked over and said, ‘Hey, would you like an apple?’ He looked at me in disgust and then opened his mouth, flashing his gums: 'I have no teeth. Give me money.’ Despite the fact he had clearly left his manners somewhere along with his teeth, I rummaged in my purse and handed him a five-dollar bill and walked off. I silently blessed him and hoped he would spend the money wisely.

I’ve made it a rule now that whenever I see anyone who needs help, I’ll try to help them out. I want my kids to learn compassion, and I always tell them that, when they do something good, it will come back to them.

Here’s another example of karma at work. I was sitting on a train travelling back from university. I was very pregnant, very tired and ready for bed. The ticket man came to me and I told him I had been let on at the barriers as the train was leaving and that I needed to buy my ticket on the train. He took my card and kept saying it was being declined. There was over £10,000 in that account so I knew something funky was happening. He was one of those unforgiving ticket officers, so he then told me I’d need to get off at the next stop, find a cash machine and then catch the next train.

‘Are you serious?’ I exclaimed.

‘Yes, if you can’t pay, you need to get off.’

I felt my heart sink. I was exhausted and now I’d miss the kids’ bedtime. I felt like shouting some expletives at him or pull out the crying card, but, at that moment, the most beautiful thing happened. The woman behind me flung over a five-pound note, the woman next to me pulled out her purse full of change, and the man across from me got out his bankcard. They all said they would chip in to help me out. My heart was overwhelmed with their kindness. I thanked them all profusely and thanked my karma for coming back to me tenfold.

You see, karma can be your best friend if the actions you put out there are those of love. Whether we like it or not, everything that happens in our lives is a result of a choice we made in the past. Do something good, you get good back; do something bad, you get the bad back. It’s as simple as that, folks.

Karma is recorded and balanced by the Universe and it never forgets. Loving thoughts, emotions, words and deeds are credits. Negative ones are debits. And karma always keeps receipts. These are called up by the Universe when we least expect it. When we are unaware of karma we call it fate or luck. You may not get your karma that week or year – it may be a whole decade later – but it will always come. Even bad karma can teach us such great lessons, and it’s our job to accept the Universal Intelligence for doing exactly what we need at any given time. Bad karma has lessons that we must learn from in order to pay that Universal debt.

Often spiritual awakenings happen after a time of great pain, and that is exactly what happened to me. You may have to lose your job or your money, experience the loss of someone close or a betrayal by someone you love, or face a full-blown addiction in order to push past the Ego’s bullshit. My Ego’s bullshit was this fear of not being good enough, which resulted in anxiety. I can categorically tell you that the challenges that bad karma may bring you serve only as an opportunity for you to turn inward.

It’s your choice to choose

At every moment of our lives we are in that field of all possibilities where we have access to endless choices that will result in different outcomes. However, even though we have the power to be in control of our choices, we have turned into robots with conditioned reflexes that are triggered by people and events resulting in predictable behaviour. These happen unconsciously. Just like Pavlov’s dogs, we respond to stimuli but, because our responses are so automatic, we forget that these are choices that we are making. (The Russian physiologist Ivan Pavlov is famous for showing that when you give a dog food every time you ring a bell, the dog will start to salivate when you a ring bell even in the absence of food. Not too dissimilarly, we humans have a predictable and repetitious response to certain stimuli in our environment.)

The best way to understand and maximize the use of the karmic law is to become consciously aware of the choices you make in every moment. If I were to call you a total loser, you would most likely choose to be offended without realizing that that reaction was a choice. If I were to tell you that you are the best thing since vegan crème brÛlée, you would most probably take that as a compliment and be thankful. Either way, it’s still a choice, even though the response is automatic.

As part of your Soul-digging journey in this book, you need to make a commitment to start witnessing your choices. It’s this awareness that will give you a sense of empowerment and a sudden feeling of control as you take this unconscious process into the conscious realm.

When you make any choice, ask yourself two things.

First, ‘What are the consequences of this choice that I’m making?’

If you take a second to check in with yourself, you will immediately know what these consequences are. There is a very powerful mechanism that the Universe has to help you make spontaneously correct choices. This is often known as intuition, which I think is one of the best superpowers we humans have. (We will cover this in more detail in Chapter 10.)

This superpower has to do with sensations in your body. Your body experiences two kinds of sensations: one is a sensation of comfort; the other is a sensation of discomfort and is often felt in your gut. Yes, that infamous gut feeling that we have all known but which some people are just too sceptical to follow. For some, the feeling of comfort or discomfort is in the area of the solar plexus, but for most people it’s in the area of the heart. Consciously focus your attention on your heart and ask it what to do. Then wait for the response – a physical response in the form of a sensation. It may be a very faint feeling but it’s there.

The second question to ask yourself is: ‘Will this choice that I’m making now bring happiness to me and to those around me?’ If the answer is yes, then go ahead with that choice. However, if that choice will bring distress either to you or to those around you, then don’t make that choice. It’s as simple as that. There is only one choice out of all the endless choices available at any given moment that will result in happiness for you and those around you. When you make the right choice, it will result in the right response to every situation as it happens. It’s the behaviour that nourishes you and everyone else who is influenced by that action.

Activating good karma

So how do you activate good karma? You need to be positive and have self-respect, which means taking responsibility for your own actions and having respect for others’. You should also offer to correct your mistakes, offer forgiveness, share knowledge and be compassionate. Lastly, when it comes to the result of an action, then the intention behind it is more important than the act itself.

Two people may perform the same task with two different intentions. Someone may start a profit-making business with the pure motive of helping customers fulfil a need, whereas another sells a product simply for money and greed. Only the first one will achieve positive results. The more you bring your choices into your conscious awareness, the more you will spontaneously make those choices which are right – both for you and those around you.

You have the choice to create what you want by harnessing the knowledge that everything in the Universe operates through an exchange. Every relationship is one of give and take because giving and receiving are different aspects of the flow of energy in the Universe. Take the word ‘currency’, which we use to describe money. If we look at its etymology, we find that it derives from a Latin word meaning ‘to run’ or ‘to flow’. Money is a symbol of the life energy we give and the life energy we receive as a result of the service we provide to others. Circulation keeps it alive and vital and, if we stop the circulation of life energy, it will stagnate. So …

• if you want appreciation, learn to give appreciation

• if you want more money, help others to make more money

• if you want love, learn to give love

• if you want to be blessed with abundance, learn to silently bless everyone with abundance.

The more you give, the more you will receive, because the Universe will always reciprocate your giving. In your willingness to give that which you seek, you will keep the abundance of the Universe circulating in your life. And the best part is, even a thought or simple prayer of giving has the power to transform. This shifts your mindset from scarcity to abundance.

In this busy world where we are so concerned about ‘me, me, me’, taking a moment to give a gift to everyone you come into contact with may sound like a stretch, but it’s the best way to experience how the Universe works.

You may be thinking, ‘How can I give to others when I don’t have enough myself?’ Before you start hollering at me, I am not suggesting you buy coffees for total strangers in the queue at your local café. Gifts don’t have to be material things. A compliment doesn’t cost a dime but can make someone’s day feel like a million dollars. Cast your mind back to all the amazing things you have got in your life without having ever asked for them. This is the Universe diligently working in the background.

Paying karmic debt

But let’s say you have done some things in the past you’re not so proud of and are apprehensive about what shit will hit the fan in the future. Well, I’m here to let you know there are a few ways you can square up your invoice with the Universe.

Option number one is to pay through the suffering brought about by your karmic debt and take the lessons the suffering can give. Yep, suck it up, pal. Or option number two (which is probably more attractive) is to pay it forward using your dharma. You have a unique gift with which you can serve the world and it’s your duty in the world to deliver it. This is your dharma. Where karma is what you do to get to the end goal (all your choices that get you to that goal), dharma is your purpose – it is the end goal. Does that make sense? The two concepts or forces are inextricably linked. There’s more about your purpose in Chapter 10.

Is your inner child making your choices?

Let me use a client’s story to show you the profound effect that understanding your choices can have.

HANNAH’S STORY

Hannah had fallen out with someone who accused of her doing something she hadn’t. Hannah immediately reacted with anger and defiance and felt upset and hurt. The situation mentally drained her for days and she couldn’t understand why this person was affecting her so much as they weren’t even close.

When we spoke, I asked why she was making the choice to feel this way. I knew that this feeling was being triggered by something much deeper rooted, and I asked Hannah whether she recalled a time in her childhood where she had been accused of something that she had not done which induced the same feeling. Almost immediately, she recalled in vivid detail an episode when she was six years old and had got told off by the head teacher and punished for a week for something she had not done. Her strong feelings about the current situation were being driven by her inner child and her past story.

Once Hannah became aware of what was playing out, she had a choice of either letting her inner child run the show and acting in a way that she would regret later, or becoming aware and choosing to react to the situation in an adult way. I helped her to choose to tap into her Soul that would deal with shizzle like a trooper or let her Ego go on a rampage. Sometimes it’s easy to feel as though you can’t control your reactions because they feel so strong, but I am here to tell you that you have a choice and it’s this choice that will affect the outcome.

Hannah decided to internally forgive the person who had wronged her and made the decision to pull herself out of the drama and give her inner child the love she deserved. Hannah told me that she felt immediately lighter. A few short days later, the woman who had wronged her apologized and asked whether they could move on.

When we change our energy and become aware of our choices instead of running on autopilot and letting our feelings or inner child take over, we take power. In order to grow in spirit, we must first become conscious of our thoughts. We only have control over ourselves, what we think and what we feel. Nobody can make us feel a certain way unless we allow them to. When we change who we are within, our heart, mind and everything around us will change too.

Be ‘more crab’

I have always thought that crabs were pretty suspicious creatures, walking sideways through life as they do. What I didn’t know about the crab is that when it outgrows its shell, the crab sheds it and grows a new one.

I heard this wonderful story about a crab named Grasper.

GRASPER’S STORY

One day, when Grasper’s shell fell off, all the other crabs told him he would start hearing voices and to ignore them until his new shell appeared. They wanted Grasper to stay put. Grasper was curious and ventured out from behind his rock despite what his family and friends had told him.

As he ventured out, he came across the biggest crab he had ever seen. He asked the big crab how he had got so big. The big crab said the same thing would happen to him if he allowed himself to give up the small life he knew and learned to grow. The giant crab explained that a crab grows only as large as the world he lives in and as big as the heart inside him. If Grasper was going to be the biggest crab, he would need to widen his horizons. Grasper faced a big choice: to return to his ‘safe’ little home by the rocks or to step into the biggest version of himself.

The lesson of course is that, if we humans want to become the biggest version of ourselves, we need to make a choice to either stay in the familiar or to let go of our older selves, together with our bullshit stories and small-mindedness, to broaden our horizons. Grasper no longer just wanted to survive; he wanted to break free and see what life really had to offer him. He learned that he had the ability to choose rather than work on autopilot and follow all the other crabs.

Life mirrors all that surrounds around us, and what surrounds us mirrors life. This is a universal truth and applies to everything in this existence. We must learn to take responsibility for ourselves and our circumstances. Things are neither good nor bad – these are just the labels we put on them. Everything that happens to us happens in order to help us and we must take responsibility in order to grow. And it doesn’t matter what took you to that point, just remember it’s a chance to cleanse yourself and reconnect with your deepest purpose.

TOP TAKEAWAYS

• Karma is not a bad thing or a punishment and works for both positive and negative choices.

• The best way to understand and maximize the use of the karmic law is to become consciously aware of the choices you make in every moment.

• Your body experiences two kinds of sensations: comfort and discomfort (this one you feel in your gut).

• Activating good karma starts with the good intention behind any choice. The more you give the more you receive.

• Be more crab and know that, in order to grow, you may outgrow those around you.

JFDI!

Activate good karma

In this JFDI! task you are going to intentionally activate good karma. The simplest and easiest way to do this is by giving selflessly to others, and one of my favourite ways to do this is by ‘random acts of kindness'.

For 24 hours, see how many times you can go out of your way to do something extra kind. A random act of kindness can be simply sending someone who is standing in front of you at the checkout in the supermarket a blessing in your head. You could silently wish for them to have a good meal with the food they have bought. It could be buying a homeless person a coffee. It could be calling up a friend and asking them whether they need any help with something. It doesn't matter. but the idea is that, for 24 hours, you become consciously aware of others and the ways in which you can give.

Kindness to others actually results in a positive chemical change in our bodies as well as in other people’s. In a world where everyone is so me, me, me, see how many people you can make smile by thinking about them. I'll warn you, this can be quite addictive!

Being kind to others is easy, so just fucking do it! I'd also love you to share what you have done on social media with the hashtag #jfdibekind, and let's become more conscious about how we can make a difference (even in a small way) to the lives of those around us.