It was opening week of the 106th Frontier Days—nine days of nonstop rodeo, come rain or shine. With over a million dollars in prize money, there were over a thousand competing cowboys and cowgirls and at least half again as many bulls, steers, calves, and horses to support the entertainments. This was the first year Combes’ Bucking Bulls had been chosen to provide stock for the Rank & Ready Pro Bull Tour and Janice felt the pressure deeply.
The past weeks on the road had gone by in a blur with nonstop twelve- to sixteen-hour workdays since the collegiate finals. Her mornings had begun between two and four a.m. with feeding, watering, and checking on the stock. After that, she generally took a nap for a couple of hours before gulping down coffee and maybe grabbing a breakfast burrito from one of the vendor wagons.
During the later part of the mornings, she moved her stock from the pens to their designated chutes and then flanked the animals for their riders. It was then that the cowboys usually came around to ask about the bulls they’d drawn. Janice always tried to be available and never withheld anything about a bull from anyone who asked. A 175-pound rider backing a three-quarter-ton bull needed every advantage he could get.
Once the bucking events began, she almost never left the chutes. As Grady always liked to point out, the rough stock events drew the biggest crowds. She never missed a ride, especially when one of her animals or Grady or Dirk was up.
After tending her own stock, she helped the chute boss or anyone else who needed it. It was damned hard work and downright exhausting. Janice didn’t think she could have survived without Dirk and Grady’s help. When not otherwise occupied, neither of them ever hesitated to bring her a quick meal or relieve her for a catnap. It was a routine they’d fallen into since Thermopolis and had continued through Sheridan and the Cody Stampede.
Although they’d both spent plenty of time with her behind the chutes, it seemed she was never alone with either of them for very long. Since they began working together she detected an underlying tension between the two cowboys that she’d never noticed before.
Janice still wondered what was going on in Dirk’s head. He’d never made any mention of their night in Casper and she hadn’t either. She almost would have believed it had never happened if it wasn’t for the times she’d catch him giving Grady the evil eye for flirting with her. It was odd that Dirk hadn’t shown any further interest but still seemed to resent Grady’s doing so. His attitude was befuddling and frustrating at the same time. She’d known he needed space and hadn’t pressured him, but maybe it was time to lay the cards on the table. If he wasn’t interested, maybe it was time to quit pining after him and move on.
They’d pulled into Cheyenne with just time enough to give the bulls a chance to settle in before going back to work. Janice was exhausted and glad finally to have some downtime, even if just for one night.
It was Grady, not Dirk, who’d asked her out for drinks with some of the riders and contracting crews who were meeting for beers at the Outlaw Saloon, the most popular honky-tonk in Cheyenne. She’d agreed to go, but recalling the night of the party when things had gotten so out of hand, she’d insisted on driving herself. Grady didn’t seem to like her stipulation, but she’d made it clear she wouldn’t go otherwise.
She walked in to find the place packed with cowboys, cowgirls, and tourists. Although they all wore hats and boots, it was easy to distinguish the hands from the wannabes. The band wasn’t bad but the volume made her ears ring. The dance floor was filled with couples two-stepping, elbow-to-elbow around the floor, an excuse many used to dance indecently close.
She lingered at the door watching and secretly yearning to be one of them out there, wrapped in Dirk’s arms. Maybe he’d ask her to dance tonight?
Her gaze rested on a couple who were practically dry humping. They were making a lewd and lascivious display, but Janice couldn’t tear her gaze away. She ached to feel the heat of his body again, to once more experience him moving inside her. She shut her eyes for just a moment, imagining she and Dirk on that same floor but without the crowd. There was a gnawing sensation deep in her belly every time she even looked at him, but sensing he needed his space, she’d waited, hoping he’d come around. But he hadn’t. She chided herself for mooning like a lovesick calf. Sure he was physically present, but he was also emotionally distant. Reserved. Almost untouchable.
Feeling a presence beside her, Janice opened her eyes to find Grady had sidled up. He must have been watching the door. “Wanna dance?” He jerked his head toward the floor.
“No thanks. I’m not really in the mood.”
“Coulda fooled me. You seemed mighty interested a moment ago.” A knowing smirk hovered over his mouth. “Or maybe it was something else happening out on that floor?” The remark sent heat flooding into her face.
“I only came for a drink.” She spun toward the table where Dirk and a rowdy group of rough riders sat. Dirk nodded to her in greeting, but his end of the table was already full, so Janice had to sit on the opposite side. Grady straddled a chair beside her, ordering two beers and a bourbon.
She was only a few sips into her drink when Rachel Carson walked in the door. Her stomach dropped and then her gaze instinctively riveted to Dirk’s face. The place was crowded, so they didn’t see each other right away, but once he laid eyes on her, his hands gripped the table and his jaw visibly tightened.
She should have anticipated the inevitability of Rachel and Dirk running into each other in Cheyenne. It was the biggest rodeo event of the summer. As a contender for the Miss Rodeo America crown, Rachel would have countless PR events lined up over the next ten days, which gave Dirk ample opportunity to make up with her.
Janice covertly watched them, hoping it wouldn’t go any further, but then Rachel saw him and smiled. It wasn’t the smug kiss-my-ass kinda smile that Janice had hoped for, but more of an invitation. Although Dirk didn’t make a move to go to her, his eyes didn’t leave her face either. A moment later, the rodeo queen sashayed her way across the bar, her desire to mend fences perfectly clear. The sick feeling in Janice’s gut reminded her of what she’d known all along—that she’d simply caught Dirk on the rebound.
“Didn’t I tell you before that you were wasting your time on him?” Grady growled in her ear as if reading her mind.
“I never said I was interested in Dirk,” Janice spat back, but the lie wasn’t very convincing even to her own ears.
“You didn’t have to say it,” Grady replied. “You’re easy as hell to read. Maybe I’m not your idea of Mr. Right, Sweet Cheeks, but I am right here and I can promise you a good time.”
“I’m not looking for a good time,” she snapped.
Grady’s gaze met hers. “All work and no play, Janice… Maybe you should think about that.” He shrugged, emptied his bourbon, and then left her to join Seth Lawson at the bar.
Janice’s gaze trailed after him. Maybe he was right. Her life was such a dull and mundane routine and she still had weeks of it ahead of her before she returned home. And then what? She’d likely have more work waiting for her, not to mention the countless repairs on any number of things that always needed fixing on a ranch. She was barely twenty-one, but her life was making her feel so damned old…and lonely. It struck her even harder now that she knew what she was missing.
For the first time Janice was glad he’d kept his distance. With Rachel in Cheyenne, their reconciliation was all but a foregone conclusion. It was bad enough to watch the pair of estranged lovers play make up, but had she and Dirk become further involved it would have been nothing short of devastating. Too proud to make an ass of herself by hanging around like a lovesick fool, Janice gulped her drink, slapped down money for her tab, and hightailed it out of the Outlaw.
* * *
Rachel had taken Dirk by surprise. He hadn’t expected to run into her, although he probably should have, given the tight circles that formed the rodeo crowd. They’d both had plenty of time to cool down since the Casper Finals, and now that they were both in Cheyenne, here was his golden opportunity to make up to her. All he had to do was walk across the bar and buy her a drink or ask her to dance, but for some reason he couldn’t rouse himself to his feet.
Janice had bolted almost the moment Rachel appeared. He’d just sat there watching like a bump on a log, making no move to stop her. In retrospect, he wished he had, but the situation was damned awkward and he hadn’t known how to react. His feelings were still as clear as mud where Janice was concerned.
He told himself he was just being the friend that Janice needed, but his feelings for her were far from platonic. Being honest, he hadn’t stopped thinking of their night together since leaving Casper, but those thoughts were mixed with guilt. He wanted her again. There was no doubt in his mind about that, but he didn’t want to play the kind of games with her that Rachel had played with him, so he’d kept his distance hoping to get his head straight. He’d thought the time on the road would help him get his shit together, but after three weeks, he still wasn’t any closer to making any decisions about his life…or about Janice.
He noticed Grady’s continued interest in her didn’t keep him from disappearing with a skanky brunette who’d had a few too many, shortly after Janice’s departure. He and a wannabe bull rider named Seth Lawson had headed off in the direction of the restrooms when she’d offered them a threesome. Dirk just shook his head and ordered another drink.
For four years he and Grady traveled together and raised hell together, but Dirk didn’t trust him any further than he could throw him, especially where Janice was concerned. He was a selfish, reckless, and ambitious opportunist who’d take whatever he could get and then move on when the mood struck him. Janice didn’t deserve to be treated like that. No woman did—except maybe the ones who gave blow jobs in the men’s room. He told himself that’s why he’d played interference between Janice and Grady. He was just looking after her.
He didn’t understand why she inspired his protective instincts, but he’d felt that way about her even before he and Rachel split. There was something about her that stirred him, but it was completely unlike what he’d felt for Rachel, leaving him damned confused. Tonight he hadn’t gone to Rachel, or gone after Janice. Instead, he’d just sat like a dumb sack of shit. He was wishing he was just about anywhere else but Cheyenne, when he looked up to find Rachel standing there.
She looked great in her ass-hugging Wranglers and a snug Western shirt, her blond hair falling over her shoulders. Only a few weeks ago the sight of her would have made his mouth go dry, but now he felt somehow different. Sure he still liked looking at her—no red-blooded man could deny her appeal—but something had changed and he was damned if he could figure out what it was. He just didn’t feel that instant stirring in his groin that she’d always evoked.
“Buy me a drink, cowboy?”
“Sure, Sunshine.” He tipped his hat and turned up his palm in invitation, indicating the empty chair. “When did you get in?”
“Just this morning. It’s been crazy these past weeks with all the traveling and campaigning.” She sat across the table from him, leaning in close to be heard over the band. He got a whiff of her perfume. It was an expensive flowery scent that he’d once found provocative, but now he suddenly preferred the more subtle essence of vanilla.
She shrugged. “But you know how it is.”
He signaled the waitress. “Yeah. It’s crazy, all right.”
“How ’bout you? How’ve you been? You look good…” She slanted a meaningful gaze through her lashes. “Damn good.”
“I’m well enough,” he answered.
The waitress appeared and took Rachel’s drink order. After she left they studied each other in a protracted silence. Rachel traced patterns on a cocktail napkin, looking up only when the waitress delivered her cosmo. “Dirk,” she ventured after a time, “we really need to talk. I think we both said some things we didn’t mean back in Casper.”
“Maybe one of us did, Sunshine,” he said. “But I can’t recall sayin’ anything I’ve changed my mind about.”
She frowned at him. “You aren’t making this easy for me. Don’t you think you could at least meet me halfway? I’m trying to apologize. All I want to do now is put this all behind us.”
“And then what? You think we’re gonna just pick up where we left off?”
“Well…yes. Why not?”
He sat back in his chair and pushed his hat up off his brow. “Because things have changed.”
Her frown deepened. “Things? What kind of things?” Her green eyes flashed accusingly. “Are you seeing someone else?”
“Nope.” It wasn’t a lie. He and Janice weren’t involved. “But I might ask you the same thing. You seemed to be getting pretty friendly with my brother.”
“That? It was nothing.” She waved her hand. “I was just hurt—”
“So you decided to use my own brother to strike out at me?” He slowly shook his head. “Don’t seem right to come between us like that, Sunshine.”
She had the decency to look abashed. “I already said I’m sorry.”
“We don’t want the same things, Rae,” Dirk said after a time. “You’re looking to settle down, and I’m not ready. I’d like to see a bit of the world first. Hell, I’ve never even seen the ocean.”
“Then why don’t we go together? Daddy’s thinking about buying a condo in Hawaii.”
He shook his head. “You just don’t get it, sweetheart. I’m not about to live in your ol’ man’s pocket like that.”
Another silence followed.
“Dance with me?” she suddenly asked. The band had struck up a slow song, ironically, a cover of Rascal Flatts’ “I’m Movin’ On.”
Dirk nodded, stood, and pulled out her chair, guiding her out to the floor with a hand on the small of her back. They found an empty spot and she stepped in close, twining her arms around his neck and pressing up against him with all her soft, feminine curves.
“See?” She smiled up at him. “Just like old times.”
But it wasn’t. Although he couldn’t deny a stirring of sexual desire—he was still a man after all—the fierce lust he’d felt before was barely a flicker.
“You know, Dirk”—she stroked her fingers up and down his nape—“I’ve been thinking, maybe if we were really careful…and super discreet…” She shifted her position so she was almost riding his thigh, her message perfectly clear. She was trying to use his dick against him again.
“I don’t think so, Sunshine.” He anchored his hands on her hips and drew back a few inches, just enough to give his prick some breathing room.
Her gaze widened in surprise. “All right, have it your way for now, but just think about it, OK? I want to work this out between us. We’re too good together to just give it up.”
“It wasn’t my idea to break up, Rae, but I’m thinking now it was all for the best.”
Her blond brows pulled together. “You’re just being stubborn and prideful, but I can be stubborn too when I want something—and I still want you, Dirk.”
“We can’t always have everything we want, Sunshine.”
“Says who?” she quipped with a confident smile.
She was so damned sure of herself…of him…but he just didn’t feel the same anymore. When the dance ended, Dirk led her back to her friends, tipped his hat, and wished her good night, leaving her staring in consternation as he headed for the door.
* * *
Lost in his thoughts and needing space to think, Dirk left the Outlaw without a thought to Grady until he was halfway back to the motel. He swore aloud and almost turned around but then figured Grady’d probably hitch a ride with Seth. They were all bunking at the same place anyhow, the Motel Six, the cheapest place in Cheyenne.
Dirk let himself into his room, bone-tired but still too wound up to sleep. He was restless and burning with sexual frustration—frustration that he probably could have relieved with Rachel. Her offer had been on the table, but he didn’t want Rachel. Not anymore. His reaction to her, or lack thereof, still surprised the hell out of him. They’d been an item for over four years and he’d been proud to call her his, but now he wondered if it had ever been more than skin deep. Was he really that vain and shallow? He’d never thought of himself that way. The idea was mighty disconcerting.
He stepped into the shower, resolved to blow off some steam. Leaning against the tiled wall, he shut his eyes, but his mind didn’t conjure visions of a pretty blond taking him in her mouth. Instead, it was a leggy redhead with freckles on her nose, gazing up at him with a shy smile. Although Janice had been inexperienced, he’d felt an intense satisfaction, a connection with her that went much deeper than mere flesh.
He remembered the smell of her, the taste of her. The incredible sensations of moving inside her, the way her walls squeezed him and the soft sounds of pleasure she made when she came. He pumped himself more vigorously, biting his lip and jerking his hips as he achieved a swift but ultimately unfulfilling climax. He rinsed off, feeling physically spent but still dissatisfied.
He consoled himself that tonight had been exactly the test he’d needed—he was over Rachel Carson. But where the hell did that leave him and Janice? He felt like nothing more than the proverbial cowboy who straddled the fence only to end up with a sore crotch—or in his case—a blistered palm.
* * *
He was only feigning sleep when Grady came crashing into the room at two a.m. about as quiet as a bull in a china shop. He stumbled into the john, where he spent ten minutes retching before falling headlong into bed with his boots still on. Within seconds, he was snoring like a freight train.
It wasn’t long ago that Dirk would also have stayed out all night and come back in a similar condition. It was part of life on the road—the drinking and the whoring around. Though unlike Grady, Dirk had chosen to forgo the latter, one of the chief perks of bull riding. For four years, they’d wake in the morning hungover as hell and feeling fragile as glass, only to do it all over again. But he was done with it now. It was past time he got his shit together.
Rodeo had been a big part of his life, and Cheyenne was one of the biggest in the country, but Dirk felt like he was just going through the motions. His heart just wasn’t in it anymore. Janice was the only reason he was still on the road. She was going through a tough time and deserved a guy who’d be there for her, someone she could lean on, someone to help shoulder her load, not to take advantage of her situation as Grady intended to do. Part of Dirk wanted to be that guy for her, but the other part of him just couldn’t commit. Although he still didn’t quite understand his own motives where she was concerned, he sure as shit didn’t like Grady’s. Traveling together seemed a reasonable half measure, but he sensed Grady’s growing resentment and knew things were slowly coming to a head.
Tomorrow. Dirk promised himself he’d finally pull his head out of his ass and come to some decisions—about Janice, about rodeo and ranching—about what he was going to do with his life. Tomorrow. Come hell or high water. Dirk rolled over and glanced at the clock, suddenly stuck with a fateful feeling deep in his gut—tomorrow was suddenly today.