A week later, Dirk walked into the Pioneer. It was a slow night. Janice had finished wiping down tables and was polishing the glasses. She’d sworn to banish all thoughts of him, but it was much easier when he wasn’t standing right in front of her—looking too damn good for her peace of mind.
He wore his town hat and boots with new jeans and a starched white twill dress shirt open at the collar. His scars weren’t obvious from this distance and he reminded Janice far too much of the “old” Dirk. But it was time to let go of the past. Maybe the man she’d built up in her mind for so long never really existed…or maybe she’d never really known him at all. She’d expected too much.
He hadn’t been there for her ten years ago when she’d needed him. Part of her had understood his reasons. He wasn’t ready to settle down. How many twenty-two-year-olds were? But the other part of her resented him for leaving. She’d gone to him last week looking for comfort, for a shoulder to lean on, and he hadn’t even offered her that shoulder. She’d beat herself up all week for making a fool of herself over him. She’d sworn when she came home to Montana that she’d move forward with her life. All she could do now was promise herself not to repeat her mistakes—and Dirk Knowlton now topped her list of biggest mistakes.
Although she tried not to acknowledge him, the bartender was in the back taking inventory with the owner. Otherwise, the place was almost empty. Not that it mattered. Dirk wasn’t about to be ignored. He sat down on the stool directly in front of her.
“Evenin,’ Red.” He tipped his hat.
She wanted to ignore him, but he just sat there watching her, seeming to pay particular attention every time she reached up over the bar to take down or replace a glass, which put her breasts right at his eye level. His blatant interest made her feel nervous and clumsy.
“Do you have to stare?” she finally snapped.
He cocked a lopsided grin. “Can’t blame a man for enjoying the landscape. You look good, Red…real good.”
“What can I get you?” she asked tersely.
“Whatever’s on tap.”
She filled a mug and plopped it down in front of him.
He closed his hand over hers before she could snatch it away. His smile disappeared. “I came to talk to you.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.” She jerked her hand away from his and reached over the bar for the next glass.
“Bullshit. There’s a lot that needs sayin’.”
“Like what?” she replied.
“First off, I never should have let you walk out like that.”
She shrugged. “What’s done is done. And this isn’t the time or the place to hash through it. I’m working.”
“Look, Red, I’ve been chewing on all this for days. I’m just asking you to hear me out.”
“All right.” He obviously wasn’t leaving till he had his say. She dropped her towel on the bar and settled her hands on her hips. “Go on. Speak your piece and be done.”
“I was an asshole the other day.”
“You got that right. What else you got?”
“I wanna make it up to you.”
She frowned. “How?”
“I think we can help each other.”
She held his gaze, her curiosity piqued despite her resolution to have nothing more to do with him. “What do you mean by that?”
“I’m planning to expand my operation as soon as I can get a few details ironed out.”
“Expand? How can you do that when your brother’s trying to sell out?”
His expression darkened. “I’ll deal with Wade when the time comes. But it’s not come yet. I’m not ready to give up. I think I’m onto something that’ll turn us around. I just need more time…and some help.”
“You want my help,” she scoffed. “What makes you think I’m interested? You’re the one who said men and women can’t be friends, remember?”
“I’m sorry how I reacted the other day. And I was afraid you might not be amenable after what happened, but I’m talking strictly business now, Red. You said you came home looking for ranch work, and I need a competent hand.”
He was offering her a job? Janice stared at him in incredulous silence and then answered with a snort. “Let me get this straight. You want me to work for you?”
“Yeah. It makes a lotta sense. I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me when you came out, but I wasn’t exactly thinking straight. I’m sorry for acting like a dickhead. All I can offer by way of excuse is that I had the missing cattle and Allie to deal with, and then you turned up out of the blue. Shit, I didn’t know up from down. Can we please just set all that aside and start over?”
“What do you have in mind?”
“It’s only part-time right now with weaning and preg checks coming up, but it’ll become full-time once the cows start dropping their calves. Since you’re one of the best hands I know, I wanted to offer you the job.”
She shook her head knowing this whole proposition reeked of trouble. “I don’t know, Dirk. I don’t think it’s a good idea, you and me working together.”
“Be pissed at me all you like, Janice. I deserve it, but don’t blow off my offer so fast.” His blue eyes held hers. “You need work and I need help I can count on. It’s as simple as that. Just think about it, will you?”
He seemed so contrite that it would be easy to forgive him, but then again, he deserved to squirm at least a little after the way he’d acted. She propped her elbows on the bar and leaned toward him, giving him an up close and personal view of what he’d so openly admired. She felt a tug of self-satisfaction when he shifted in his seat.
She pursed her lips and then answered noncommittally, “Yeah, I’ll think about it.”
Dirk retrieved his wallet and slapped down a twenty and a business card. “Here’s my cell number. Call me when you decide.” His mouth kicked up in one corner. “I can’t promise you great pay, but the hours are grueling.”
He slid off the stool and walked out before she could give him change.
He hadn’t even touched his beer.
* * *
Although Dirk avoided town as much as possible, he’d had no choice but to go in to see Janice. For the past week he’d tried to dismiss her from his mind and just focus on work, but she continued to infiltrate his thoughts. Part of him said to let it go, that it would be stupid as hell to get involved, but seeing her had unbalanced him. He’d thought about nothing but work for so damned long. She’d made him realize just how lonely and isolated he’d become. She was also a painful reminder of all his mistakes and regrets—of everything he didn’t want to think about.
But he’d hurt her and he just couldn’t live with that. He’d never be able to rest easy until he at least tried to make it right again. That wasn’t to say he wanted any romantic entanglement. He didn’t. He was way too far gone for that. He could never be what she needed, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t help her out. So he’d made the offer. The next move was hers.
He didn’t have to wait long for an answer. His phone rang before he’d even pulled into his drive.
“Dirk here,” he answered brusquely, not recognizing the number.
“It’s Janice.” She paused. “You didn’t mention any specifics on hours or pay.”
“You didn’t ask.”
“I’m asking now.”
“I’m flexible, Red. Especially on the hours. I’ll let you work around your schedule at the Pioneer—at least until things pick up. Right now I have an issue with missing stock. Got some cows and calves that didn’t come down from winter gazing, and we’ve spotted wolves. I got to find them soon—or at least their carcasses.”
“So you want me to hunt ’em down for you?”
“No. I’ll do that myself, but I need someone to look after the rest of the herd while I account for the missing stock. There’s calves to wean, preg checking on the cows and heifers, and then culling any that are still open. The ol’ man can still do some of it, but he’s got a heart condition and can’t do everything he used to—just don’t try to tell him that. He doesn’t know yet, but Ma’s hoping to convince him to spend this winter in Arizona. It’s the only thing Wade and I agree on—that it’s time for him to retire. The tricky part is gonna be convincing him that it’s his idea.”
“I can believe that!”
He was encouraged to hear her laugh. It seemed to break the barrier of ice that had built up between them. “So whadaya say, Red?”
“I’d like to give it a try.” She paused. “If you’re a bit cash-strapped, would it help if I just came out on my days off?”
“Hell yeah,” he said. “When do you want to start?”
“I’m off for the next two days. I just have to be sure Mama won’t mind watching Cody.”
“You’re a godsend, Red. I can’t even tell you how important it is for me to track down my missing stock.”
“I understand,” she said. “Cattle were once my livelihood too. I’ll be there by six.”
“If you can make it by five thirty, I’ll cook you pancakes.”
“Pancakes? You cook?”
“Damn straight I do and not just breakfast. If I find my missing cows, I’ll grill you the best damn T-bone you ever had in your life.”
“That offer’s hard to refuse.”
“Then don’t—” He was about to blurt “refuse” and caught himself. Shit. It was too damned easy to forget. He almost believed he could be normal with her.
“Don’t what?” she asked.
“Don’t be late,” he replied tersely.
“I won’t be. I’ll see you first thing in the morning.”
Dirk waited for the click that ended the call. He’d told himself he was just helping her out. He really did need a hand, but who was he really kidding? He couldn’t wait to see her again—no matter the terms.
* * *
With a nine-year-old son, Janice was accustomed to staying up late and getting up early, but it had been years since she’d set her alarm for four a.m. It was a hellish hour. She dragged herself out of bed with a groan, showered, dressed, and braided her hair. She was glad she’d splurged on the automatic coffeepot. She poured a cup in a tall travel mug before heading out the door in her jeans and boots, grabbing her old hat and the sherpa-lined Carhartt jacket that always hung on a hook by the back door.
It was almost October and the morning air was brisk enough to make her breath visible as she walked out to her truck. She looked out at the surrounding mountains and inhaled deeply, feeling lighthearted for the first time in forever. Until this moment, she’d felt like she was just going through the motions, trapped in someone else’s skin, but the prospect of going back to cattle work felt like a real homecoming to her.
Ranch work was what she knew. It was what she’d been born into. It was damned hard. It was downright dirty, but it was what she loved. And it was the life she’d always wanted for her son. Grady had never shared that dream. Sure he’d wanted to raise bulls, but it was all for show, to be the star of the rodeo, not for the lifestyle. Real ranch work bored him. Dirk, on the other hand, was deeply committed to making things work at the Flying K.
He’d surprised her with the job offer, but she reminded herself that’s all it was—a job. She refused to let her anxiety ruin everything. This was a business arrangement. There would be no personal involvement. He’d already made his feelings perfectly clear about that. He was simply her new boss.
So why had she agreed to meet him for breakfast? Why had he even asked her? Why was her pulse accelerating and her palms sweating on the steering wheel as she turned into the drive and through the gate of the Flying K? When he’d walked into the bar yesterday he’d been so different from how he was just last week. She remembered his teasing parting remark that had sounded so much like he used to be.
“C’mon, Janice,” she groaned. “Pull yourself together. All you gotta do is go to work, collect your paycheck…and guard your stupid heart.”
* * *
Janice paused outside the door to the old bunkhouse, the knot in her stomach tightening at the memory of how badly the last time had gone. She shook those thoughts off, inhaled a deep breath, and raised her hand to knock, but the door opened before she made contact. Finding herself facing a solid wall of hard male, Janice took a step backward. Her gaze tracked upward into a pair of ice-blue eyes.
“G’morning,” Dirk said. “Didn’t mean to startle you, but I heard the truck. Diesels aren’t exactly stealth vehicles.”
“No, they aren’t.” She gave a nervous laugh. “And mine’s in sore need of a new muffler. It’s one of many things I’ve had to put off due to lack of cash, which is also why I’m here.”
“I’m glad you didn’t have second thoughts.”
“No, but I don’t have much choice. I really do need the money. Then again, the day hasn’t begun yet. Maybe I’ll hightail it outta here once I’ve had a good dose of manure and bawling cattle.”
“I wouldn’t blame you if you did.” He laughed. “But I suspect this kinda thing runs in your blood.”
Her mouth curved into a reluctant smile. “Yeah. Sadly, it does.”
“C’mon, breakfast is ready.” He stepped back and beckoned her inside. “Hope you’re good and hungry.”
Janice scraped her boots on the mat and followed him to the kitchenette. She sniffed the bacon-scented air and her stomach gave an embarrassing growl. “Smells wonderful. I can’t recall the last time I ate anything in the morning besides Cap’n Crunch or Lucky Charms.”
“Not exactly the breakfast of champions,” Dirk remarked dryly.
He indicated a chair at the scarred oak table set for two. In the middle sat a plate of bacon and a large platter of blueberry pancakes. Janice sat down while Dirk piled a stack of four pancakes and as many strips of bacon onto both of their plates.
“Cody never touched anything that wasn’t sugarcoated until Wheaties put Grady on the box,” she said. “Then for the longest time he wouldn’t eat anything else—breakfast, lunch, or dinner. I finally had to stop buying it. I feel a little guilty about that, but I was feeding an unhealthy obsession,” she chattered on nervously.
Dirk seemed to fill the tiny kitchenette with his overpowering male presence.
“Coffee?” he asked.
She nodded. “Yes, please.”
He filled her cup before sitting down with his own. “How old is Cody now?”
“He’ll be ten in March.”
“Is he really?”
“Yeah. I can’t believe how fast he’s growing up.”
“How’s he dealt with his father’s death?”
Janice stared into her coffee mug. Recalling the look of stark incomprehension on her six-year-old’s face when she’d tried to explain that his father would never be coming home again.
“Fairly well, actually,” she answered at length. “Once he was over the initial shock, his acceptance surprised me. But they were never very close. I used to resent that Grady didn’t take much interest in him, but maybe it was a blessing in disguise. On the flip side, I’m afraid I’ve overcompensated a bit.”
“How’s that?”
“I’ve kept him too close. He needs more freedom. He needs to be a boy.”
“True enough.” Dirk nodded. “All boys need to raise a little hell.”
“You’re right. And I think coming back to Montana has been really good for him. He’s already made some friends and now he’s learning to ride.”
“He’s riding? You still got horses?” Dirk asked with surprise.
She shook her head wistfully. “No, we don’t. He’s learning on a friend’s horse, but I hope maybe one day we can get a couple of our own. We still have a small paddock and a hay shed. It would be nice to ride again.”
“Dig in,” he said, indicating her plate. “Syrup?”
Janice noticed four bottles of gourmet syrup and laughed. “Where’s the Aunt Jemima?”
“Only the good stuff here. I might have something going soon with this same gourmet foods company. They want to expand into high-end meats. Here. Try this one.”
Janice poured the blueberry syrup on her pancakes and took a bite. It was delicious. So were the pancakes. Dirk hadn’t exaggerated his cooking skills.
“If you want to ride, why don’t you bring Cody out here?” Dirk said after a time. “We’ve still got a couple dozen horses and Red Man’s the best babysitter you’ll ever find.”
“You really mean that?” Janice’s gaze met his over her coffee cup. “I don’t even know what to say.”
“They’re all getting fat and lazy. Hell, they need to do something to earn their keep.”
“Thanks,” she said.
Dirk flushed. He seemed almost embarrassed by his offer. “Eat up,” he grunted and then attacked his own plate, downing the pancakes in record time. He looked up in surprise when Janice pushed away her half-full plate. “You aren’t gonna finish?”
“God no!” she exclaimed. “I’m about to burst.”
“Waste not, want not.” He stabbed his fork into the remains of her stack and wolfed them down as well. It suddenly seemed so natural, so comfortable to be sitting across the table from him like this. She’d never had that with Grady. He was too restless…too preoccupied…or too absent. Afraid to linger on domestic fantasies that could never come true, Janice stood and started clearing the table.
“Just leave it,” he said. “Time’s a wastin’.”
“Cleaning up is the least I can do when you did the cooking,” Janice protested.
“Fine. Just throw them in the sink.”
But Janice was already filling it with hot, soapy water.
Dirk came up from behind, reaching around her to turn off the tap. “You don’t take orders very well, do you?” he rumbled in her ear. “You need to know something straight up, Red. I don’t brook disobedience to direct orders.” His body was warm and hard behind hers, his breath sweetly scented. His tone, however, was anything but sweet.
She froze with her hands braced on the countertop. She swallowed hard. “I—I was just trying to help.”
His other arm came around her, trapping her body between his and the sink, his hands gripping the counter top beside hers. His chest and hips pressed against her back, sending a flood of heat to her core. She shut her eyes and tipped her head back, breathing him in, filling her lungs to capacity with the scent of musky male. Dear God, I want him. Right here. Right now.
Did he feel it too? He must have but he continued, cool and controlled. “I know that, Red, but I’m in charge here,” he said. “You can chalk it up to my time in the Marine Corps, but I’m gonna expect you to do exactly as I tell you.”
“Or what?” she asked breathlessly and arched into him.
His breath hitched. His arms tightened. “You’re playing with fire, Red. You better think real hard what you’re doing, ’cause this time I’m not about to let you walk outta here.”
He released the counter to skirt his hands slowly up her sides, cupping her breasts in his big strong hands, brushing his thumbs over her taut nipples.
She gasped.
“Last chance,” he warned, nuzzling his face into her neck and inciting another ripple of pleasure deep in her belly. “If you wanna leave, you’d better do it right-fucking-now.”
“No. I don’t want to go,” she whispered, making no move to escape.
He released her and took a half step backward before he anchored his hands on her hips and spun her around to face him. His pupils were dilated, his mouth compressed as he backed her up to the table.
“What about the cattle?” she whispered.
“Fuck the cattle.” He tugged her shirttail out of her jeans. “They can damn well wait…I can’t.”
His mouth came down on hers, hard and possessive, his tongue sweeping the seam of her mouth demanding entrance. She parted on a moan and he plunged into her mouth, his tongue tangling with hers, every touch sending echoes of sensation straight to her sex.
Janice opened eagerly, greedily taking him deeper and grinding her hips against his.
He proved a fine multitasker, unbuttoning her shirt and unhooking her bra without even releasing her for a breather. Now he was working on her zipper. She wriggled out of her shirt and bra as he worked her jeans down. They were only as far as her knees when she found herself sitting on his kitchen table. He tugged her boots off. They hit the floor with a dull thud and then the jeans joined them. Grabbing a kitchen knife, his motions were clean and efficient as he slit the side seams to dispense with her panties. There was no doubt Dirk meant business this time.
“Lie back,” he commanded low and husky.
Janice complied, only to be surprised by the sensation of something cold and wet on her chest and belly. She opened her eyes to find Dirk grinning down at her, and her upper body dripping blueberry syrup.
“Sorry, sweetheart. I couldn’t resist the temptation.” Hunching over her, he proceeded to lick her off with long slow lashes of his hot tongue, lingering to lick, suck, and bite her nipples
“Please,” she begged, writhing in her need.
His mouth and tongue were all over her breasts and then her belly, his breath hot and moist against her skin as his mouth worked steadily southward. One hand ascended her leg to stroke between her thighs. She shuddered with raw pleasure.
He placed his hands on her ass, urging her to the edge, then gripped the table and lowered himself to his knees. “You don’t have to,” she protested, realizing what he intended. Her pulse raced with panic even as her body remembered the pleasure. “I’m ready for you.”
“I want to,” he said. “Besides, if I don’t get you off first, you might not get another chance. Once I’m gloved inside you, I’m gonna be blind and deaf and so caught up in my need to come that I’m not gonna give a goddamn about anything else… I told you it’s been a long time, Red. A long fucking time.”
He’d said almost the same thing the very first time they were together.
He draped her thighs over his shoulders and rubbed his face in her mons with a low groan that vibrated clean through her. Janice shut her eyes, throwing her head back with a whimper at the first hot swipe of his tongue. By the second slow, wet sweep, she ground her pubis against his mouth, agonizing in the sweet torture.
“Please. Don’t stop.”
Their moans mingled while he worked magic with his lips, teeth, and tongue, teasing, circling, and sucking, turning her mind to jelly. She glanced down at his face to find his eyes nearly black with lust and his lips curved up at the corners. He knew damn well what he was doing to her. His every touch invoked an increasingly needy response from her body. Her initial resistance forgotten, Janice lost herself in the pleasure of his mouth.
He nudged her thighs wider, gripping her hips tighter, and pulling her harder against his mouth working her with his skillful tongue as he plunged two fingers in and out, hard and fast in synchrony with the sweeps and swirls of his hot, velvet tongue. Her need for release was ramped to a fever pitch. She was quivering inside and out, her breath coming shorter, harder, as her climax coiled deep inside her belly.
“Give it up now, Red. Come for me. Now. I want all of it.”
Her mind was so far gone, her brain so drugged by sensation, that she barely heard the words. As he closed his lips and sucked her clit, one thought exploded in her mind along with the sobbing climax that rocked her body. Be careful what you wish for.
* * *
Although his balls throbbed with need, Dirk wouldn’t take back watching her climax for anything. In those last seconds, with her lips parted, her eyes shut, and her face flushed in ecstasy, he’d felt whole again for the first time in ages. In those precious seconds he was a man who could still please a woman. The knowledge made his chest ache almost as much as his dick.
He hauled himself to his feet with his mind conjuring visions of bending her over the table and plunging into her balls deep. Janice sat up and reached for his belt, but he’d already released the buckle and popped his jeans button. With shaking hands, he yanked his zipper down and released his erection. They were both panting with anticipation when he jerked her hips to the edge of the table and stepped between her parted thighs. He was primed and ready when he backed away, hissing a curse. “Shit! I almost forgot.”
“You don’t need it on my account,” Janice blurted. “I can’t get pregnant again.”
“Thank you, Jesus. We’re doing this bareback.”
Parting her thighs, he took himself in hand, shutting his eyes on a groan at the sensation of his cock sliding through her wet folds. She raised her hips in invitation, crying out when he drove himself inside her, impaling his shaft to the hilt in a single deep, hard thrust. He stilled, his breathing ragged as he fought the urge to thrust again.
“You all right, Red?” He waited with sweat beading his brow.
“Dear God, yes. Don’t stop.”
Dirk murmured another prayer of thanks. It felt so fucking good to be inside her, filling her. He laid her all the way back, wrapping her legs tightly around his flanks. Her eyes were shut as if lost in pure pleasure. He partially withdrew, only to drive back into her again, setting a steady and relentless rhythm of thrust and retreat, riding her slow and hard until her body vibrated beneath him. His balls tightened, drew up. He gripped her hips tightly, pinning her body against the table as he pumped in and out of her. Harder. Faster. Her hips met him in counterpoint until her inner muscles contracted around him in orgasmic waves.
“Shit. So fucking good. Can’t hang on,” he groaned, driving into her again and again until a swell of sensation erupted. He squeezed his eyes shut on a groan, spending himself inside her in an explosive climax. Janice’s body still quivered with aftershocks, and tears streamed down her cheeks.
“You OK, Red?” Dirk asked softly.
“Yes,” she whispered. “More than OK.”
Her expression brought a lump into his throat. He withdrew, physically depleted and mentally confused after a release that no amount of jacking off ever could have satisfied.
He’d sworn not to let sexual frustration interfere with business, but all that went out the window almost the moment she’d walked into his kitchen. He’d thought he could hold himself in check, but he couldn’t even be in the same room with her without wanting her.
Hell, she’d only come out for a job. He didn’t even want to think about how many acts of sexual harassment he’d just committed. He didn’t have a clue how to deal with himself—or with Janice. He jerked his jeans up and turned to the sink, feeling like the lowest kind of predator for taking advantage of her.
He wet a towel with hot water for Janice, but when he turned back, his breath seized in his throat. She was buck naked and propped up on her elbows, hair tangled, face flushed, torso smeared with blueberry syrup, and a slow, shy, sexy-as-hell grin on her face. The vision jolted him to the core.
She looked down at herself and shook her head with a chuckle. “You sure made a real mess of me—inside and out.”
He was on her in two steps, marauding her mouth in a ferocious kiss that left them both reeling. He released her just as abruptly. “This towel ain’t gonna cut it, Red. You need a shower.”
“I couldn’t agree more, but I’m feeling kinda sorry for those hungry cows.”
“Another half hour won’t kill them,” he grunted.
“A half hour? I can shower in ten minutes.”
“I don’t think so. Blueberry stains. You’re gonna need some help cleaning all that syrup off. It’s dripped all over your back too.”
“So you’re offering to scrub my back?” Janice’s smile grew, stretching to heart-stopping proportions.
“Hell, I made the mess. Least I can do is clean it up properly.”
“You are such a hypocrite!” She laughed. “If I recall, all this began when I tried to clean up your mess.”
“That’s right, sweetheart. I manage my own messes. And believe me when I say I’ve had plenty of experience at it,” he added dryly.
“Haven’t you ever let anyone else take care of you?” she asked, suddenly serious.
“No. Never had to. I manage.”
“But we all need help sometimes,” she argued.
“And that’s why you’re here,” he answered back. “I need help with the ranch…and now you need help getting that syrup washed off.”
Before she could open her mouth to argue further, he swept her up into his arms and carried her toward the bathroom. She looked down at his chest with an expression of mock dismay. “Now there’s syrup all over you too. Guess you’ll have to join me? You wash my back and I’ll wash yours?”
“You mean scratch,” he corrected gruffly, using his elbow to nudge the bathroom door open.
“Doesn’t fit the situation.” She grinned back at him.
He set her down, jerked back the curtain, and turned on the shower. He waited for the water to heat up and then handed her a bar of soap. “Get in.”
“You are too bossy by far, Dirk.”
“I can get away with it because I am the boss. Now get in.”
“Aren’t you coming?”
“Already did.” He grinned. “And now I’ll wash you off.”
“How do you expect to accomplish that without getting all wet?”
“I’ll manage. Now get in the goddamn shower.”
Janice crossed her arms over her chest with a scowl. “Only if you join me. It’s only fair.”
“Fair?” He shook his head in growing irritation. “Look, Red. There’s a big fucking difference here. You’re not missing body parts.”
“Seems to me you still have all the ones that count.”
Dirk didn’t trust himself to answer that. Instead, he pushed her toward the shower and spun toward the door. “Come on out when you’re done. We’ve got work to do.”
* * *
Janice stared after him once more feeling hurt and bewildered. Until she’d suggested he undress, their exchange had been light and playful. Then he’d suddenly stormed out.
She didn’t understand at all until she pulled back the curtain and saw the seat and metal bar on the wall—a handicapped equipped shower. It was only then that it sunk in that he wasn’t really rejecting her. He was embarrassed. Dirk was so strong and able that it hadn’t even occurred to her that he’d be so self-conscious about his injuries.
She tied up her braid, stepped under the hot water, and briskly scrubbed herself. He’d made love to her almost fully clothed. She now understood that was intentional as well—he didn’t trust her. The thought both saddened and angered her, but trust was a two-way street. Sure he’d been through a lot, but he didn’t have an exclusive patent on pain and suffering. He had scars he was reluctant to reveal, so did she. Hers just weren’t as visible.