It was almost an hour before sunrise when Janice drove into the Flying K. She hopped out of her truck, tightening her collar against the frigid morning air. Dirk was already outside waiting with two saddled horses. Her heart sped up when he greeted her with a nod and a half smile.
“Morning, Red. I’m glad to see you,” he said softly. “I can’t even tell you how glad.”
“I guess I’m a true sucker for punishment,” she replied. “You goin’ after the missing stock now?”
He nodded. “I shoulda gone yesterday, but I got a bit sidetracked.” His gaze met hers, a heated reminder of how they’d spent the earlier part of the day.
“So I guess you’re not making pancakes first?” she taunted with a slow, crooked smile.
“Hell, no. It’ll be coffee in a travel mug and a wad of beef jerky in the saddlebags. Don’t know if I’ll ever be able to make pancakes again. I’m already afraid of getting a hard-on if I even look at a bottle of syrup.”
“Need any help?” She nodded to the horses.
“Nope, got it covered.”
“Can I ride with you? It might not be easy if you end up having to carry down an orphaned calf or something like that.”
“Already thought of that. The bay here’s yours. Are you dressed warm enough to ride?”
“Yeah. I’m good.” She eyed the twelve-gauge shotgun holstered with the saddle. “Grizzlies?”
“Not expecting any, but it pays to be prepared for them.” He tossed her a twenty-two-caliber carbine. “Know how to use it?”
“Of course,” Janice replied. “But what for? You already have the shotgun.”
“Seems we got ourselves a wolf problem on the mountain,” Dirk replied. “Wade and I encountered a pack last time I went up there.” He added grimly, “I’m hoping we locate live cattle, but I’m taking some rope and tarp just in case we find more carcasses instead.” He patted the pack behind his cantle.
“If the wolves got them, won’t the Livestock Loss Board cover it?” she asked.
“Yes and no,” Dirk replied. “There’s a bunch of hoops to jump through in order to file a claim and then they’re only going to compensate for average value when I’ve got three times that invested in each head. That’s not even taking into account the years and expense of breeding them. They’re damn sure worth more to me alive.”
“Then I hope we find them,” Janice said.
“The weather report predicted a light dusting last night in the higher elevations. If so, it’ll make tracking a whole lot easier. Course Toby and Tallulah are coming along. Best cattle dogs you’ll ever find.”
The two lolling canines rose smartly to attention at the mention of their names. She reached out her hand to let them sniff. Toby nudged it. Janice scratched his head. “Toby and Tallulah?” She eyed the mottled pair curiously. “They don’t look like any herd dog I’ve seen before. What breed are they?”
“Catahoula Leopard dogs,” Dirk replied. “Not just herd dogs, but bred to track and hunt too. If there’s still any live cattle up there, they’ll find ’em and flush ’em out.”
It was still dark when they guzzled down some coffee and set out. Janice rode behind, her gaze locked in admiration on Dirk’s back. Sitting tall and straight, he still cut a helluva figure in the saddle, whether he realized it or not. It seemed the more time she spent with him, the less she noticed his injuries. They’d come a long way in a short time. She only hoped she might one day help him to forget them too.
They rode a couple of miles with the two dogs trotting eagerly alongside, before hitting the main trail leading up to the mountain pastures. The sun was now cresting, painting colors across the eastern horizon.
Janice drew up her horse. “It’s so beautiful. I can’t tell you how much I missed the sunrises and sunsets when I was in Las Vegas.”
Dirk pulled up beside her. “We can take a short breather here if you like.”
“Thanks. I’d like that. Although many people wax poetic about the desert, it just seems so desolate compared to this.”
“I’ve seen some amazing skies in the open desert,” he said. “Endless with so many stars at night that it boggles the mind.” His voice drifted off.
Their horses stood side by side, panting vapor into the frosty air as Dirk and Janice watched in awe-filled appreciation as the sun rose, streaking its gold and pink hues across the big Montana sky.
“Do you think about it much?” she asked. “Your time over there?”
“I try not to,” he said. “But it invades my thoughts every single day, whether I like it or not.”
“Why did you join the marines?”
“Told you I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I didn’t want to talk about my past either.”
Dirk stiffened in the saddle. “You want me to unload all my shit on you? Is that what you want?”
His dark expression and gruff response told her she was pushing his comfort zone again, but she wasn’t going to back off so easily. “Don’t you think it’s only fair when you made me unload mine?”
* * *
He said nothing for the longest time but the clouds of vapor came harder, faster as he fought the impulse to spur his horse and leave the questions behind. But he couldn’t outrun the memories even if he tried. They were always with him. Part of him. Even now, it was still a daily struggle to keep thoughts of that time and place at bay.
“I’d been floundering for months,” he began. “Didn’t know what the hell was wrong with me. I was so restless, like I wanted to crawl out of my own skin. But watching the life drain out of Seth Lawson flipped some kind of switch. I had to get away. Clear my head, so I got in my truck and drove. Didn’t even know where I was going, just had a powerful yen to see the ocean. I headed west on I-80 and didn’t stop until I hit San Francisco. I remember parking the truck at Ocean Beach, pulling off my boots, and wading out into the surf. Jeans and all. Jesus, it was cold! I hadn’t expected that.
“I stayed a couple of days and then headed south down the Pacific Coast Highway and ended up in San Diego. An old rodeo buddy of mine was stationed there at Camp Pendleton. I called him up and then suddenly it was perfectly clear. I enlisted the next day in the U.S. Marine Corps. Oorah. Semper fi.
“At first I was zealous for the war, certain we were right. That the cause was just. Yeah, that’s exactly what I told myself. We took down the Evil Empire and cleaned up the whole fucking mess in Iraq. Mission accomplished. Or so we thought.” He shook his head with a bitter laugh.
“When I re-upped, I thought it was the same war, just a different mission. But it wasn’t the same war. We were stalking that murdering sonofabitch Bin Laden in a place where you couldn’t ever know who was the enemy. The day I lost my leg was just a normal day patrolling a quiet mountain village. We were walking among men, even women and children, who nodded, smiled, and salaamed even as they were planting IEDs to blow us to kingdom come.
“We didn’t see it coming. Maybe we should have. It had been too quiet for too long. Without warning, all hell broke loose. Explosions everywhere. Men screaming. Bodies disintegrating before our eyes. Do you have any clue what an IED can do? Helmets and body armor are useless. They don’t kill. IEDs vaporize. I had to have pieces of my best buddy surgically plucked outta me. That’s the fucking devastation of an IED.”
Janice whispered, “I can’t even begin to imagine it.”
“No. You. Can’t,” he replied through clenched teeth. “No one can who hasn’t seen it.” He shut his eyes finding it hard to breathe. He never allowed himself to think about it because it always sucked him down into the dark place—a hell filled with smoke and fire, sweat, and blood, excrement…and death.
The old feeling of panic started closing in, the terror that still jarred him awake in a cold sweat. Janice’s soft voice pulled him back. “But you lived, Dirk. At least you got to come home.”
“Yeah. I lived. Small consolation when I lost six men and then had to deal with a fucking court martial to defend our actions.”
“Dear God. I didn’t know. What happened?”
“Acquitted and came home. End. Of. Story.”
“But—”
“I’ve told you about as much as I can stomach. I don’t want to talk about this shit anymore…or ever again for that matter. Ready?”
* * *
Dirk didn’t wait for her reply but urged his horse forward and up the steep and rocky incline. They rode another hour in a tense silence before discovering the first tracks in the snow. On examination, they proved to be equine rather than bovine.
“Horses?” Janice asked. “Who would have ridden horses up here?”
“They weren’t riding. These tracks are from a band of renegade mustangs that Wade and I saw.”
“Mustangs? Where the heck did they come from? I thought the only herd left in all of Montana was over in the Pryor Mountains.”
“Not anymore,” Dirk said. “’Bout twenty miles north there’s an outfit that took on a bunch of them from the BLM.”
“Really? I hadn’t heard anything about it. Which outfit was that?”
“The Circle S, old man Sutton’s place,” Dirk replied. “It seems his widow has pulled out of cattle and now plans to turn the whole spread into a wild horse sanctuary or some shit like that. Of course she doesn’t know what the hell she’s getting into, but the BLM don’t care. They’re just desperate to get as many horses off their hands as possible.”
“Isn’t that the truth.” Janice shook her head. “There’s a real problem in Nevada right now with the ongoing drought. It was on the news all the time. There’s over twenty thousand wild horses living in that desert and not enough water to sustain them. They were planning some emergency roundups when I left. Hopefully some of those horses will find homes.”
“Lottsa luck there,” he scoffed. “What kinda fool’s gonna mess with a Mustang when even dead-broke ranch horses are a dime a dozen?”
“So what’s the Suttons’ plan?” Janice asked.
“Dunno and ain’t too keen to find out, but I s’pose I’ll have to go by there soon enough. I need them to move those horses outta here before calving season. I’m not about to lose any more stock because a herd of Mustangs ran the calves to death.”
“But, Dirk, how the heck are they going to catch them?”
Dirk shrugged. “That’s their problem. There’s a lot of good cowboys looking for work. They’ll figure something out.”
Toby froze, ears perked and nose raised. Tallulah began sniffing the ground.
Dirk pulled up his horse. “Got something, boy?”
Toby gave a single bark and bounded off to the right through a large patch of sagebrush with Tallulah hot on his heels.
“They found a scent all right. If it’s the cattle, they’ll herd and hold ’em for us.” Dirk spurred his horse with Janice following. A moment later, he reined up again to listen, head cocked to the side. “Sounds like a bawling calf to me.”
Janice listened intently, trying to isolate other sounds from that of the two panting horses but heard nothing until the dogs sounded a cry.
“Yup. They got ’em, all right. Thank you, Jesus!” Dirk declared with a smile and spun his horse around in the direction of the baying dogs.
Three hours later, Janice dismounted to open the wire gate, the dogs standing sentinel as Dirk drove the two cows and solitary calf into the pasture.
He sighed and dismounted from his horse. “Recovered three. Not a total loss, I s’pose. I just hope the damned wolves stay on the mountain. For now, I guess the dogs’ll have to put in some overtime babysitting the herd. Least until I find some safe winter grazing.”
“What about installing fladry lines?” Janice asked. “I’ve heard they help keep wolves away.”
“It’s cost prohibitive and it’s only a short-term solution,” Dirk said. “The wolves eventually get used to them flapping and then pay no more heed. I’m not too worried about it right now though. Don’t anticipate any real trouble until next spring when I move the herd back up the mountain. I may have to bite the bullet at that point and hire someone to babysit.”
“Got anyone in mind?” she asked.
He shook his head. “No, but I’ve got enough on my plate right now without fretting about that. Speaking of plates… I’m just about starved.”
“Me too,” Janice confessed. “I’m not a big fan of jerky.”
He shook his head. “I warned you ahead of time what was on the menu.”
“You did, but I also recall you promising to grill me the best T-bone I ever ate if you got your strays back.”
“I did at that,” he said. “You free tonight?”
“Tonight?” She hadn’t really expected him to take her taunt seriously. “I could be,” she replied. “But I’d want to run home and check on Cody and Mama first and of course take a shower and change.”
“Tell you what, Red. I’m so damned happy, I feel like celebrating. Since you plan on getting all cleaned up anyway, how ’bout I take you out instead of cooking? I got a place in mind if you don’t object to a bit of a drive. Might not be quite as good as my home-grilled T-bone, but it’s pretty damned close.”
“Oh yeah?” Janice smiled. “It sounds great, but if I’m gonna be out for very long, I’d need to get Cody settled for the night.” She looked at her watch. It was almost four o’clock. “It could be two or three hours before I could be ready.”
“Then I’ll make us a late reservation.”
“It would have to be after seven.” She tried to keep the disappointment out of her voice. “You probably don’t want to wait that long for supper.”
“Don’t be so sure about that, sweetheart,” he replied. “I’ll pick you up at seven thirty. I may be a slow starter, but I’m learning that some things are worth waiting for.”
* * *
Arriving home twenty minutes later, Janice came in the back door and hung her hat and coat on the pegs. Her mother was already starting supper and Cody was at the kitchen table doing his homework.
“Hey, Mom!” Cody looked up. “Think you can help me with my spelling words?”
“Sure thing.” Janice smiled and ruffled his red hair before sitting down beside him.
“How was your day?” her mother asked Janice.
“Interesting. Cody would have loved it. Dirk and I rode up the mountain and brought down some missing cattle. His dogs, Toby and Tallulah, found them for us.”
“Really? What kind of dogs are they?” Cody asked.
“Catahoula Leopard dogs.”
“They’re part leopard?” Cody asked.
“No, silly. But they do have spots.”
“Can I have a dog?” Cody asked.
“Make an A on your spelling test, and maybe we’ll talk about it.”
“But I hate spelling!” he replied sullenly. “Spelling sucks!”
“Cody. You watch your mouth.”
He hung his head. “Sorry, Mom. I’m just no good at it.”
“Then you need to work at it more. You can’t get good at anything without practice, Cody. Just like riding horses.”
“I sure like horses better than spelling…or math…or reading.”
“All right, I get it.” Janice laughed. “I didn’t like school much either at your age but had to keep my grades up in order to compete on the rodeo team.”
“Can I do that too when I get bigger?”
“Sure you can,” Janice said. “Which leads to some news you’re gonna be real happy about.”
“What’s that?” Cody asked.
“The Knowltons invited us all out to the ranch on Sunday. Dirk said to come out early ’cause he has a horse for you to ride.”
Cody’s eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. “For real?”
“Yeah. He’s a big sorrel named Red Man. Now, let’s get to work on your spelling.”
* * *
Janice could hardly remember the last time she’d put on a dress, or eaten out at any place that required reservations. Even though there wasn’t a place in the whole state of Montana where jeans weren’t welcome, Dirk’s parting words inspired a desire to “wow” him. Although she was once a clueless cowhand, her years of waitressing in Vegas had taught her the value of a feminine appearance.
She rifled through her closet for a little black dress she’d bought after Grady had qualified for his first world championship. There was a sponsored big pre-event party for the bull draws and she’d wanted to do him proud, but he wasn’t the only male who’d taken notice when she’d worn it. Although the dress was several years old, the sheath style still worked, and—more importantly—it still fit, albeit a tad tighter through the hips and boobs. Her matching pumps were also a bit outdated, but she doubted anyone in rural Montana would notice.
She pinned up her simple French braid into a chignon and then applied a touch of makeup, knowing this was a version of her that Dirk had never seen before. Would he like it? At the sound of his truck pulling in the drive, she stepped in front of the mirror her heart pounding with sudden self-doubts, but she had no time to change her mind. She exited her room and descended the stairs, feeling far too much like a nervous schoolgirl on prom night.
She was on the landing when he entered. He wore a crisply pressed dress shirt in a shade of blue that set off his icy colored eyes and a pair of snug-fitting jeans with knife-edge creases. He looked up the staircase in a sudden double-take that made Janice freeze in her tracks. Her pulse raced as his gaze swept slowly over her. His mouth curved into a slow wolfish grin that heated her from the inside out.
She descended the rest of the stairs on shaky legs. Dirk met her at the bottom step. His arm came around her waist and his lips brushed her cheek. “My, my, Red,” he murmured in a tone that promised very wicked things. “You take my breath away.”
His words made Janice acutely self-conscious, but she still managed a flippant reply. “You don’t clean up so bad yourself, cowboy.”
“Where’s Cody and your mama?” he asked.
“Mama’s arthritis is acting up real bad and Cody’s upstairs playing video games,” Janice said. “I’d call him down here but you’re already gonna get more than your fill of him on Sunday. He’s beside himself with excitement.”
“I’m looking forward to it too,” Dirk said.
His reply surprised her. “You are?”
“Sure. I’d like to get to know him better. I haven’t been around a lot of kids, but I like ’em well enough.”
“Well, be prepared. Cody’ll talk your ear off. He’s not the least bit shy and has a mind of his own. He hasn’t quite learned when to back down on an argument and is always getting called out by the teachers for it.”
“He might suffer for it now,” Dirk said, “but it’ll play to his advantage later in life.” He glanced at his watch. “We’d better be going. Our reservation’s for eight thirty and it’s an hour’s drive.”
* * *
Janice began peppering him with questions almost as soon as he pulled onto the highway. “Where are we going?”
“You’ll see when we get there,” he replied.
When he turned north on 287, she remarked, “There’s nothing in Whitehall, and Bozeman’s a good ninety minutes away.”
“Yup,” he agreed.
“We going to Belgrade?” she asked.
“Nope.” Dirk shook his head.
“Manhattan maybe? I’ve heard Land of Magic’s really good.”
“It is at that,” he concurred with a nod.
“So that’s where you’re taking me?”
“Wrong again.”
“C’mon, Dirk! Quit tormenting me and spill it.”
“No way. Anticipation is half the pleasure. Besides, I’m having way too much fun torturing you.”
Janice huffed.
He chuckled and flashed a teasing grin. “Guess you don’t read many mystery novels, do you, Red?”
“No. Haven’t read much of anything since high school, but why would you say that?”
“’Cause you can’t stand suspense. Bet you talk during movies too, don’tcha?”
“Maybe,” she replied.
“I’ll have to remember that.” He gave her a teasing leg squeeze. Then his hand rested there. She laid hers on top of it.
“Bet I can make you talk.” She slid her skirt up a few inches.
His mouth firmed. “I don’t think so, sweetheart.” He shook his head, determined not to give an inch, but she gave him several more—inches of bare thigh that is.
“You sure you don’t want to tell me where we’re going?”
She guided his hand a little higher. She wasn’t wearing panty hose. Her skin was silky smooth. He got a whiff of vanilla mixed with just a hint of feminine arousal. He inhaled deeper and shifted in his seat. His gaze briefly strayed from the road to meet hers. “I don’t think you want to continue this, Red. Not if you’re hungry, anyway.”
“I’m hungry all right.” She licked her lips and slid his hand a little bit higher. “Matter of fact, I’m about starved, but I always like to think about what’s on the menu ahead of time. Don’t you?”
He didn’t have to. His mind had been stuck in that one gear almost from the moment she’d shown up.
He snatched back his hand and pulled off the road, cutting the ignition and yanking her across the bench seat. He groaned in surrender as his mouth claimed hers for a searing kiss.
She opened to him with a soft moan and their kiss deepened, their tongues dueling, every slick stroke sending surges of sensation rippling through him. She guided his hand deeper between her thighs. He jolted in surprise when his fingertips came into direct contact with her wet sheath. “No panties, Red?”
She flashed him a half smile. “Call me optimistic. I’d hoped to get lucky tonight.” She squeezed her thighs on another soft moan when he sank his fingers inside her. He released her to adjust the seat, sliding it all the way back, but there still wasn’t room to get her on his lap.
“Fucking steering wheel’s in the way,” he growled. “Put yours back. All the way.”
Her gaze widened. “Right now? In the truck? What about our dinner reservation?”
“Guess we’re gonna be late. I warned you where this was headed.”
“But somebody could see us!” Janice cried with a look of panic.
“You started it, Red. You’re gonna have to finish it.”
“I don’t think so, cowboy,” she replied. “You’re gonna have to deliver on that steak dinner first.”
He mumbled a stream of curses. “I never counted you a cock tease, Red.”
“I’m not a tease,” she protested. “You just said yourself not a minute ago that anticipation is half the pleasure.”
“Anticipation? I’ve lived like a fucking monk for the past four years. If you think I’m gonna drive the rest of the way with a stiff dick, think again.”
“I’m sorry ’bout that, but you’re gonna have to feed me first.”
He started the truck up with another mumbled curse.
“How far away are we?” she asked a minute later.
“Still thirty ball-aching minutes,” he ground back.
“You know,” she began with a sly smile, “if this really is such an unbearable trial for you, maybe I can alleviate your discomfort.” She unsnapped her seat belt and slid closer, her hands working deftly on his belt, then popping his fly button. “Of course, I’m pretty sure this is all kinds of illegal.”
“What the hell are you—” He sucked in a breath as she eased his zipper down and slipped her hand inside his jeans, wrapping her fingers around his swollen dick.
“Keep driving, Dirk.”
He was rock-hard and finding it harder to keep his eyes on the road as she slowly jacked him up and down, squeezing and stroking.
“Better?” she asked.
“Damn, Janice,” he hissed. “You’re gonna kill me.”
“Oh, I doubt that.”
Next thing he knew, her head was in his lap. Her mouth and hot, velvety tongue were moving up and down his shaft, rasping along his length, circling his head and lapping at the slit, turning his mind into jelly. The lines on the road blurred when she closed her lips around him, sucking him into the hot wet cavern of her mouth.
Holy shit! He released one hand from the wheel and curled the other around her nape. She drew harder with her lips, working him deeper into her throat. Her lips and throat muscles contracting, milking him. He was drowning in sensation, in mindless pleasure. He was losing it fast. Maybe he was already lost. Either way, it felt so fucking good to give himself up to her.
His balls contracted. His hands squeezed the wheel. He was panting with the effort to hold back. He pulled off the road again as the urge to come swelled inside him.
“You gotta stop now, Red…right fucking now…unless you plan to finish me off.”
“Oh, I’ll finish you all right.” She sucked him even deeper, swallowing harder.
His eyes fluttered shut as his orgasm came crashing over him, his cock pulsing in a long series of body-wracking eruptions that left him physically spent.
A moment later, he opened his eyes to gaze down at her through a helpless haze. Her soft brown eyes met his and her mouth curved into that slow, shy smile that always crushed his lungs and left him heaving for breath.
* * *
To Janice’s dismay, Dirk was quiet the rest of the drive, almost too quiet. Although she’d managed in only a couple of weeks to penetrate his first lines of defense, the question remained whether he’d ever let her all the way in.
They pulled off I-90 at the Trident and Three Forks exit and then headed toward town. “Three Forks?” Janice asked. “What’s in Three Forks?”
“You’ll see,” he answered her cryptically.
A few minutes later he pulled up in front of an elegant white clapboard building. “The old Sacajawea?” she declared in surprise. “I thought it closed years ago.”
“It did. But then a new owner bought it and completely restored the place while you were away,” Dirk explained. “It’s now on the register of historical hotels, and the food is top-notch. Good as anything you had out in Vegas.”
He handed her down from the truck and then led her through an elegant foyer to the entrance to Pompey’s Grill. Greeting Dirk by name, the maître d’ guided them to a cozy booth near the massive stone hearth where a welcoming fire blazed. The hotel restaurant was dark-paneled, candlelit, and intimate, the perfect setting for a romantic dinner.
The maître d’ smiled. “Your server will be with you momentarily with a wine list.”
“I’m not much for wine myself,” Dirk remarked to Janice, “but they have a respectable selection if you’d care for a bottle.”
“Not for me, thanks.” Janice gave an embarrassed smile. “I admit I’m more of a beer girl.”
Their waiter arrived almost instantaneously to present the wine menu and take their drink orders.
“A Blue Moon for the lady and I’ll take a Bud,” Dirk said.
“Very good. Would you care to hear tonight’s dinner specials?” the waiter asked.
“Sure.” Janice nodded.
“For starters, we have a crab harumaki, which is a Japanese-style spring roll with red crab, fresh cilantro, napa cabbage, shiitake mushrooms, and fresh ginger, served with a spicy ponzu. Our entrée this evening would be the USDA Prime dry-aged American Kobe tenderloin, locally supplied from the Flying K Ranch.” He presented the full menus. “I’ll be back in just a moment with your drinks.”
“The beef is from the Flying K?” Janice cocked her head in surprise.
“Yup.” Dirk nodded with pride. “Been doing a bit of test marketing in some local places. I hear it’s become one of their most popular entrées.”
“That’s fantastic!” Janice exclaimed.
He beamed back at her. “I admit I’m encouraged. I’m working on something even bigger now. I have some serious interest from a gourmet foods company, but I can’t hope to bid for the contract until I can show that I can meet the demand. That means growing the herd, which will require more investment in breeding stock.”
“That’s the expansion you were talking about.”
“Yes.” He nodded. “They are only interested in organic, grass-fed beef, which means I also need more grazing pastures. Wade and I have gone head-to-head over this for the past couple of years.” Dirk’s brows met in a scowl. “He’s too damned shortsighted to see the new opportunity.”
“Then you can’t give up.”
“I don’t intend to.”
The waiter returned with their drinks. “Do you have any questions?”
“Mind if I order for both of us?” he asked Janice.
“Not at all. Please do.”
Dirk never even opened the menu. “The crab hamaruki to share, two wedge salads, and two of the Wagyu tenderloins.”
“Excellent,” the server replied and disappeared.
The service was exceptional and the entire meal superb, especially the beef. In truth, it was the best she’d ever tasted, which only confirmed in Janice’s mind that Dirk really was onto something. On top of that, Dirk appeared more relaxed than Janice had ever seen him. They lingered over dinner, laughing and talking until they were the only patrons remaining in the restaurant.
“Would you care for coffee or dessert?” the waiter asked.
“Nothing more for me,” Janice groaned, near bursting. “But it was all fabulous.”
Dirk’s blue gaze met hers. “I agree. It’s been the best night I can recall in a very long time.”
It was almost eleven o’clock when they finally left the restaurant. Dirk walked her to the passenger side of his truck and paused before opening her door. “It’s just occurred to me that I’ve gone about all of this completely ass backwards.”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“I just realized this is our very first date.”
Janice stared at him for a moment and then cracked a smile. “You’re right. It is at that.”
“Mind if I kiss you?”
“You’re asking?” She laughed outright.
He grew suddenly serious. He cupped her face with both hands. “A man should never take a woman for granted.” His lips met hers, gliding over them with a toe-curling and breath-stealing tenderness. He released her slowly and then stepped back to open the truck door.
“I s’pose that goes both ways,” Janice said as he handed her in. “But after that meal, I promise you I’m a sure thing.”
He held her gaze for a long moment. “That so?”
“Yeah.” She licked her lips, tension coiling deep in her belly. “I told you I left the house tonight with a certain optimism.”
“Then I’d hate to disappoint you, Red.” The words were barely out of his mouth before he spun back toward the inn. “Wait here,” he tossed over his shoulder.
Dirk returned a few minutes later, room key in hand. “Last one,” he explained. “There’s a big wedding party.”
She stared at the key. “You got us a room?”
“I want us to do this right for a change. I don’t want a quick and dirty fuck in the truck like a coupla horny teenagers. You deserve better than that.”
Janice swallowed hard, the significance of his act and his words nearly overwhelming her. It seemed a monumental step from him.
“I admit I’m nervous as hell right now,” he confessed, as if reading her mind. “I haven’t had a woman in a bed since before… Shit! I’ve never felt this anxious before.”
Although he was accustomed to taking charge, she could see he was facing a major crisis of confidence. She twined her arms around his neck. “There’s no reason,” she said. “All I want…all I need…is you inside me.”
He withdrew a few inches, searching her face. “I want that too, Red. So you wanna go inside now?”
“Yeah. I do,” she replied.
Moments later, Janice slinked through the lobby, acutely self-conscious about her lack of luggage and knowing she’d feel far more embarrassed when they left after a couple of hours. She hoped they’d be able to sneak out without anyone noticing. As if reading her thoughts, Dirk walked on the inside as they passed by the check-in desk, wrapping his arm protectively around her. He punched the button to call the old-fashioned elevator and pulled her inside the moment the doors opened.
Once they closed again, he hit a button for the second floor and then pinned her to the wall, his thigh wedged between hers. His mouth descended on her neck, licking, sucking, gently biting. Desire bloomed until she thought she’d melt into a puddle on the floor. Her legs were almost ready to give way when the elevator dinged and the doors opened.
* * *
The scent of vanilla had enveloped him the minute the elevator closed. She smelled so damn good that it made him light-headed. She tasted even better. When the bell dinged, he peeled her arms gently but firmly from around his neck, forcing himself to break the kiss before he lost himself in it…in her…completely. He guided her down the hall with his hand poised just above her ass, unlocking the door, his heart pounding erratically with a mix of fear and anticipation. It wasn’t their first time together, but this was different. By taking her to bed, he’d be letting his guard down. Completely. And it scared the shit out of him.
The room was dark, but he intentionally bypassed the light switch. He could barely stand to look at himself in the mirror. The thought of seeing revulsion reflected in her eyes terrified him.
Without breaking the kiss, they backed unevenly across the floor toward the bed. Her hands matched the eagerness of her mouth, unbuttoning his shirt and peeling it back to explore his torso. He experienced another instant of panic when she reached for the bedside lamp.
“No.” He stayed her hand. “One step at a time, Red. If this is gonna happen, you’ll need to grant me a few small concessions.”
As if reading his fears, Janice rose up on her toes and cupped her hands around his face. “This is about trust, Dirk. You told me you want to make this work between us. If that’s going to happen, you need to trust me.”
Holding him, she brushed her lips over his, then worked her way over the scar that marred his face. He stiffened beneath her touch, but tamped down the urge to wrench away.
“Please, Dirk,” she whispered, her brown eyes pleading. “Just let go. Let me prove to you that your injuries don’t matter to me. Show me we can do this…that we can have this.” She feathered more light kisses over the mangled flesh before pressing her warm, lush body against him and sealing her mouth to his.
He kissed her back, his mouth melding with hers, exploring, tasting, growing hungrier when her tongue darted out seeking his, spiking his desire another notch. Edgy as he was, she still had him hard as a post in no time.
She stripped off his shirt, but he knew it was too dark for her to see very much. Even with their eyes adjusted, the dim light wouldn’t reveal the worst of it. She tugged his jeans and boxers off his hips, but stopped shy of pushing them all the way down. He sprang free into her warm and eager hands. She caressed his length as she trailed hot and humid kisses down his torso. Lust had him swaying drunkenly on his feet by the time she was face level with his swollen dick. He had to clasp her shoulder for balance.
His lids fluttered shut on a low moan as she drew him into her mouth. She took him deep, gently rolling his balls between her fingers. They tightened beneath her touch. He rocked his hips. She gripped his flexing buttocks and he was gone, his mind blurred to all but sensation. He realized with annoyance that once more he’d let her take control. It wasn’t what he wanted, not how he’d planned for this to play out, but it still took a supreme force of will to withdraw from her mouth.
* * *
As she’d sucked, stroked, and caressed, his pleasure became hers. She was quickly caught up in his salty taste, his musky scent, and the guttural sounds emerging from his throat. He had to be close to coming. His eyes were shut, the muscles in his neck straining, his chest rising and falling erratically when he abruptly withdrew.
“What’s wrong?” She looked up at him with surprise.
“Nothing,” he growled. “I appreciate the gesture, but it’s not what I want.”
“I thought it would help you relax.”
He brought her back to her feet. “Not this time, Red. This has gotta happen on my terms.”
She’d gone down with the single thought of making him forget his fears, but if he needed to exert control, she wasn’t about to balk. He’d never be able to handle any kind of relationship until he reclaimed his sense of manhood. And that would never happen until he regained his confidence in bed. She was determined to do whatever it took to help him.
“And what are those?” she asked.
He pulled her close, rocking his pelvis into hers and squeezing the globes of her ass. His big hard erection pressed into her belly. He kissed her deeper, licking up her neck and then around the shell of her ear. He sank his teeth into her lobe. “Take off the dress and I’ll show you,” his voice rumbled low and deep. “Leave the shoes on.”
“I need help with my dress,” Janice said.
He spun her around and unzipped it. The black sheath slid down her shoulders, over her hips, and hit the floor. She wore nothing underneath. He grunted in approval. “You have one beautiful ass, Red.”
He stepped into her from behind, nuzzling along the juncture of her neck and shoulder with his lightly bristled jaw. His breath was hot and moist on her skin. She shivered. Her breasts were heavy, her nipples painfully erect. His every touch had her aching with want. Cupping and molding her breasts in his hands, he continued kissing, licking, and biting her neck and shoulders while teasing her nipples with his thumbs. Cranking her need tighter. Higher.
His chest hair tickled her back as he nestled his hard cock between her ass cheeks. He felt so damned good—all big, hot, and aroused male. Her sex throbbed like a beating heart, her inner walls convulsing with the excruciating need to be filled.
“Please,” she whispered, grinding her backside into him.
“On the bed,” he said, ripping back the covers. “I want you on your hands and knees.”
His commanding tone sent ripples down her spine. She kicked off her heels and climbed on top of the bed, kneeling with legs apart. Her body thrumming with the anticipation of penetration, only to be surprised by his mouth instead. Her skin stung with sharp nips of his teeth on her butt cheeks, soothed by hot wet kisses and long raspy licks.
He explored her deeper with his tongue while his hands slid over her hips, stroking and circling the dimples of her lower back and then farther south, fondling her ass and then sweeping up and down the cleft. His finessing fingers excited every nerve ending, pushing her closer and closer to the brink of climax.
“Now, Dirk. Please.” She whimpered over her shoulder. “I want you inside me.”
His tongue probed her deeper. He circled a finger over her puckered entrance.
She froze, clenching her butt cheeks with another whimper—this time in fear. “Please don’t.”
Dirk drew back. “What’s wrong? You don’t like that?”
“No. I don’t. Grady…he was rough.”
He pulled her into a sitting position. “Let’s get one thing straight. I ain’t Grady. And I’d never force anything on you that you don’t like. I’d never hurt you, Janice.”
“I know,” she whispered. “If I thought you were anything like him I wouldn’t be here.”
“Trust is a two-way street, sweetheart.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“There’s no need to be.” He soothed her with a kiss and a caress. “Are you all right now? Do you still want this?”
“Yes,” she said. “I’m OK, and I do.” In truth, she ached like hell to have him buried deep inside her.
“Then just relax and let me take care of you.”
“No, Dirk. I want to feel you inside me. Now.”
“Now?”
“Yes. Now.” She kissed him hungrily, her desire coming quickly back to life with every flick and stroke of his questing tongue. She lay back on the bed, pulling him down with her. He released her just for a moment. His hands came down between them. She heard the stiff rustle of denim, and then he plunged into her, impaling her fully in a surge of pure pleasure that rocked her to the core.
She shut her eyes, reveling in the sheer sensation of Dirk filling her emptiness, relieving the ache. They remained joined and locked, stock-still, until he began a slow and deliberate thrust and drag that wiped her mind clean of all thought beyond the feeling of him moving inside her.
“So good,” he murmured hotly, licking and sucking her neck. “So damned good.”
She urged him deeper, digging her heels into his flanks and straining into his ebb and flow of motions. He increased his pace, pounding into her until the air echoed with their mingled moans, synchronized with the erotic slap of flesh on flesh, until her senses were swimming in a mind-erasing rush of sensation.
“Give it up,” he growled, driving into her in a ravaging rhythm of thrust and retreat that sent her barreling toward the edge. She clawed the sheet on an endless moan as her climax sluiced through her, her inner walls contracting and convulsing in searing waves.
He followed with a primal roar as he emptied into her in a hot and pulsating rush. It was everything she’d wanted. Everything she’d wished it could be. She only hoped he felt the same.
* * *
Dirk was sitting on the edge of the bed lost in his thoughts and staring at his boots when Janice emerged from the bathroom. She left the light on and the door open, he guessed intentionally. She scooped up her dress from the floor with a look of uncertainty. “What now?” she asked softly, a tiny frown wrinkling her brow.
He didn’t immediately answer, mainly because his brain still wasn’t fully functioning yet. He’d been so lost in the moment…in her…that he hadn’t given any thought to the aftermath. Her brown gaze continued to search his. Her question had caught him off guard. Staying together the whole night seemed a huge step…but then again…maybe it was time to get off the fence.
“Bed looks real comfortable.” He bounced lightly a couple of times. “Feels comfortable too. Seems a shame to waste it.”
Her brows scrunched together. “You saying you want to stay?”
“The room’s ours for the night,” he replied, “but the choice is yours, Red.”
She chewed her lip. “I would like to stay, but I’d need to be home before Cody gets up for school.”
“OK with me, as long as you don’t mind getting up at a hellacious hour to drive back.”
She smiled. “I don’t mind as long as you’re planning to join me in that bed.”
“I don’t intend to sleep in the chair.”
“But you’re still dressed,” she observed.
“Yeah,” he said. “I’m well aware of that.”
“You gonna undress?”
The idea had him feeling twitchy. “I’d rather not.”
“Time to cowboy up, Dirk. I’m not giving you a choice.”
“Why are you pushing it?” he asked.
“I told you your injuries don’t bother me, but I know you don’t believe me. I need you to know that I can handle it. This is about trust, Dirk. Now lie down.” She pushed him backward onto the bed.
He was uncomfortable as hell with the idea but still too dazed and spent to make much protest when Janice knelt and pried off his left boot. She then grabbed the heel of the right.
“No,” he said. “The right one stays on with the prosthesis.”
“Then how do I do this?” she asked.
“I take the jeans down first and then off with the leg.”
“Oh. Then you’ll need to lift your hips,” she commanded, already tugging at his jeans.
Dirk sighed and then lay back, hands behind his head, staring up at the ceiling, grim-faced, letting her draw them down over his thighs to just above the knee—or where his knee used to be. He didn’t want to see her expression when she got a good look at his stump. He shut his eyes, forcing himself to relax, but held his breath, acutely attuned to every movement and every sound. It was a major struggle to lie there, to just give himself up to her.
“How do I remove this?” Her hands stroked down his thigh to the top of the silicone sleeve that attached his prosthesis.
He reached down to roll the sleeve off his thigh, but she laid her hands over his.
“Please. Let me do it. Just tell me how it works.”
“The leg’s held on by suction. Roll down the silicone sleeve and it’ll detach.”
She did as he instructed, and the device came free. A moment later, his jeans were off and then his boxers followed. He released the air from his lungs on a long hiss, but was almost afraid to open his eyes. His chest was tight and his heartbeat pounded in his ears. Other than what little was still covered by his unbuttoned shirt, his entire scarred and mutilated body was now bared to her view. He’d never felt more exposed…or more vulnerable.
He sat up abruptly, tore off the shirt, and threw it at her. “Satisfied?” he growled. His gaze darted to her face, but rather than the disgust he’d expected and had prepared himself for, she was grinning back at him.
“Hardly,” she replied. “But I’m hoping you’ll take care of that as soon as you’ve had enough time to recover. Maybe I can help you with that?” She cocked a brow.
Her suggestive look had his spent dick stirring instantly back to life.
“No need,” he replied. “C’mere.” He beckoned her closer, drew her down to him, and kissed her passionately. He cupped her ass in both hands. “Straddle me.”
She dropped the dress and climbed onto the bed. His erection reared up rock-hard between them as her knees sank into the mattress on either side of his hips. She pitched forward, raising up to mount him, but he stopped her. Although he wanted inside her something fierce, he held her back. “Not yet,” he said.
“What’s wrong?” Her brown eyes widened in surprise.
“Nothing’s wrong. I want you to touch yourself. I want to watch you get off.”
“Why?” Her brow wrinkled.
He knew he was pushing her comfort zone, but she’d already blasted clean through his.
“Because it excites the hell out of me, Red…because I asked you to. Does that make you uncomfortable?” He knew Grady had put her through a lot of shit. It made him wonder where her limits were. How far she trusted him.
It was a moment before she answered. “No, Dirk, it doesn’t as long as this is just between you and me. No cameras. No videos.”
“No, Red. I’m not into that kinda shit,” he reassured her, breathing easier as the uncertainty passed from her eyes. “This is only about us. It’s all just between you and me.”
* * *
Janice sensed that he was intentionally testing her, trying to make her feel as exposed and vulnerable as he felt, but she wasn’t about to retreat. She’d told him before that it was gonna be all or nothing. If he wanted a show, she’d give him one.
She leaned forward to kiss him, using her breasts and hips to tease him as she dragged her body slowly up his. Her mouth sought his hungrily, but she didn’t prolong the kiss, instead withdrawing from it the moment he would have pulled her deeper in. Wordlessly, she brushed her fingers over his damp lips.
His blue gaze darkened in instant understanding. He caught her hand, drawing her fingers into his mouth one at a time, licking and sucking and then slowly releasing. He watched with a spine-tingling intensity as Janice cupped her breast with one hand, toying with her nipple as her other hand crept down her belly toward her nest of short curls.
“Oh yeah, just like that, sweetheart,” he murmured hoarsely. His pupils flared when she dipped into the wet folds of her cleft.
Feeling increasingly shy and embarrassed, she shut her eyes but continued to stroke and tease herself until her body quivered with the first tiny orgasmic tremors. Throbbing to feel him inside her, filling her, she rubbed her mons up and down his shaft.
He gripped her hips almost painfully tight. His hip bucked beneath her, but he still held back. “Don’t stop.”
She squeezed her lids tighter, imagining him pumping into her. Her climax hit like a tsunami. She let loose a low moan, rocking her hips rhythmically as it washed over her in breathless waves. She opened her eyes to find him staring up at her with a ravenous look.
“Holy shit.” His voice was low and gravelly. “Do you have any idea how hot that was? How hot you are?” He pulled her down for a long, deep kiss that sent a series of aftershocks resonating through her.
“Please, Dirk. I need you,” she whispered urgently. She wrapped her hand around him, guiding him toward her aching core, dragging his shaft through her wetness. Holding him primed at her entrance, she slid her hips slowly forward and back, then circling and teasing until he emitted a long groan that made his body quake beneath her. But just when she thought he’d finally lose it, he usurped control from her.
The next thing she knew, she was trapped beneath him, his arms caging her head and his mouth devouring hers. They gasped in unison when he entered her in a single, breath-catching thrust.
She wrapped her legs tightly around his flanks, urging him deeper. “Please don’t stop. Don’t ever stop.”
* * *
Hours later, Dirk found himself once more staring at the ceiling. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt so content…or so confused. In just a few short days, she’d turned him upside down and inside out.
Her head rested on his shoulder and his left arm had gone completely numb, but he didn’t want to chance waking her. He glanced down to find her gazing up at him with a sleepy smile. “What are you thinking?”
“I’m trying not to,” he said. “Thinking seems a highly overrated activity compared to others.”
“Yeah, you might be right about that.” She chuckled and then rolled on top of him, plying soft kisses to his face. She then worked her way lower, trailing her fingers and mouth over the various scars on his body.
He winced under her touch.
“You don’t like that?” she asked.
“It’s still uncomfortable for me,” he admitted.
“I’m sorry, Dirk, but I’m afraid you’re just gonna have to get used to my hands on your body.”
Janice had a habit of pushing him too hard and too fast, but she also held nothing back. For the past four years he’d believed he could never have a normal life again. Now he wondered if that was true. He’d also told himself he’d never find a woman who’d accept him without reservation, but by the looks of things, it seemed he might have been wrong about that too.
* * *
Morning came way too fast for Janice. The only saving grace was that they checked out early enough that she was spared the walk of shame she’d dreaded the night before. They drove home in a thought-filled silence broken only when they stopped for coffee at a drive-through. Had Dirk not held her hand on his thigh for almost the entire drive, she might have worried about his lack of conversation, but they both needed the quiet time to digest, and to adjust. Their night together had changed everything, had put their relationship on new ground. Now they both had to regain their footing.
The sun was only starting to crest the horizon when Dirk pulled up in front of the house. She was glad to see the lights were still off. Hopefully, she’d have time to sneak upstairs and change before her mother or Cody caught sight of her. Janice reached for the door, but Dirk pulled her back. “Guess this one’s for good morning instead of good night.” His lips met hers in a slow and tender kiss. He released her with a smile. “Will I see you later?”
“I’m working at the Pioneer the next two days, but I’ll be out on Sunday with Cody…that is, if the offer is still open.”
His brows drew together. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
She replied with a nervous shrug. “Didn’t know if you might need some time alone…after everything.”
His frown deepened. “You saying that for my benefit or yours, Red?”
“I don’t have any regrets if that’s what you’re asking.”
“Yeah. It is what I was asking.”
“None, Dirk, but I don’t know where this puts us.”
“I don’t either,” he replied. “One step at a time, remember?”
“Yeah.” She gave a nervous laugh. “But last night seems like a Neil Armstrong kind of step.”
“It was at that.” He grinned. “Noon Sunday then?”
“Yeah. I’ll be there.” Their eyes met briefly and then Janice let herself out.