Dirk started awake to a blast of music. Bolting upright, he smacked his head on the thinly insulated trailer ceiling and then shut his eyes, cursing a blue streak. His head already felt like it was going to explode, and his body ached like he’d suffered the rack.
The music continued… “Cowboy take me away, fly this girl as high as you can, into the wild blue. Set me free, oh I pray, closer to heaven above and closer to you.”
“Cowboy Take Me Away”? The Dixie Chicks? He hated that song. Clutching his throbbing skull, he consigned the Dixie Chicks to a very special place in hell.
Once the pain subsided to a dull throb, he slowly cracked his lids open and looked around, disoriented and confused. Where the hell was he?
The throbbing increased again with the brief flashes he recalled of the night before.
The bull ride gone south. The party. Rachel’s teary eyes. Grady singing karaoke. Getting kicked out. The storm. Janice.
Shit! What the hell had he done? Had he and Janice really…as if on cue, she burst out of the bathroom to shut off her alarm. Her gaze met his and she froze, her teeth sinking deep into her lower lip.
The towel wrapped around her did little to cover all that creamy white flesh. She looked like a French pastry—good enough to eat. His dick twitched at the sight. Oh yeah. Last night was very real.
“Mornin’, Red—” His gaze never left hers as he slid down from the gooseneck and grabbed his jeans and shirt. “I gotta get you some different CDs.”
“I got some Chris LeDoux if you prefer,” she said.
“About last night—” Their voices collided in a disharmonious duet.
He inclined his head. “Ladies first.”
“I’m surprised you’re here,” she ventured shyly.
“Why?”
“I dunno. Just thought you’d probably be gone.”
That supposition definitely didn’t set right with him. “Is that what you wanted?”
“No! That’s not what I meant. I just thought—”
He scowled. “That I’d slink off without even buying you breakfast?”
“You don’t need to feel obligated to me.”
His mouth compressed. “Whadaya mean, Red?”
“I just want you to know I don’t expect anything,” she said. “Sometimes things just happen. I’m not naive about that. I know last night doesn’t mean anything.”
“Sure it does. It means I was right about men and women being friends.”
“Maybe you were,” she confessed. “But we can at least try, can’t we? Please, Dirk. I don’t want things to be awkward between us now.”
“Women.” He pulled his shirt on with a mumbled curse.
She frowned at him. “What about women?”
“You think too damned much!” He stomped into one boot and then the other. “You have to overanalyze every little thing.”
“It wasn’t a little thing! It was a very big thing—well, for me anyway,” she murmured.
He chuckled. “I’ll take that as a compliment, sweetheart.”
Her head snapped up, her brown eyes narrowing as if she wanted to slug him. “That’s not how I meant it.”
He shrugged. “If the boot fits…”
She grabbed one of hers and threw it at him. Dirk barely dodged the manure-covered missile. “Hold on there, Red.” He raised his hands, laughing in surrender. “Can we call a truce? I’m awful hungry.”
“What time is it?” she asked.
Dirk glanced at his watch. “Six fifteen. Go ahead and get dressed. I’ll take you to breakfast. You got plenty of time.”
She regarded him with uncertainty. “But I need to head out to Thermopolis soon, and Grady’ll be here any minute. He’s riding with me.”
“Doubt that. He’s more’n likely passed out. He was pretty wasted last night.”
“You never said where he went. Weren’t you both kicked out of the hotel?”
“He crashed with a friend,” Dirk said carefully.
“A friend, eh?” She cocked a brow. “And there wasn’t room for you too?”
“It would have been a bit crowded,” he replied.
She opened her mouth again and he raised a staying hand.
“Look, Red. There’s no point in giving me the third degree. I don’t pry into Grady’s personal business, and he don’t pry into mine. You want pancakes or eggs?”
Janice’s stomach gave a loud growl and she colored as deep as her hair.
He laughed. “Pancakes it is.”
“Make it a full stack.” She grinned back. “I’m starving.”
“Let’s go then. There’s a decent diner just a little ways down the road. Do you mind driving? I don’t have my truck. I’ll give Wade a ring and see if he’ll meet us there so I can get it back.”
“No, I don’t mind driving.”
“Good, then I’ll just go ahead and unhook the trailer while you dress.”
He’d just grabbed his hat and shoved it on his head when a knock sounded on the door.
“Grady!” Janice cast a panicked look at the door and then back to Dirk.
“It’s all right, Red. I’ll handle it,” Dirk said smoothly. He grabbed her discarded clothes and stuffed them into her arms. “Just step back into the bathroom and get dressed, and no one’ll be the wiser.”
“But. How will you explain—”
He propelled her firmly toward the bathroom door. “Said I’d handle it.”
The knocking grew more insistent. “Janice? You there?”
Dirk flung the door open. “Mornin’, Grady.”
Grady’s mouth dropped open “What the fuck you doin’ here?”
Dirk shrugged. “Lookin’ for you.”
Grady’s bloodshot eyes narrowed. He shoved past Dirk. “Oh yeah? Then where’s Janice?”
“Getting ready. Since you weren’t here yet, I offered to buy her breakfast. Wanna come? Looks like you need coffee.” His gaze raked over Grady, taking in all the evidence of last night’s dissipation. “Lotsa coffee.”
“You ain’t lookin’ so hot yourself, Pretty Boy,” Grady growled.
He looked around the room, his eyes lingering on the unmade bed. Dirk tracked his gaze, hoping they’d left no evidence from the night before. He suddenly thought of the condom. Shit. He hoped he’d disposed of the thing. He had no recollection.
“Did you fuck her?” Grady demanded.
“Have a little respect, asshole. This is Janice you’re talking about.”
“Respect?” he persisted. “All right, did you fuck Miss Janice Combes?”
“No, I didn’t fuck her,” Dirk lied through his teeth. “I told you I just got here.”
“How? I didn’t see that piece of shit white Ford.”
“’Cause Wade still has my keys. I couldn’t get him on the phone, so I walked.”
“You walked.”
“Yeah. I got two good legs last time I looked, and it’s only a coupla miles.”
Dirk hoped Grady wouldn’t ask where he’d slept last night. He was damned if he could come up with anything plausible. But then again, Grady’d drunk so much the night before he probably wasn’t even aware of the storm.
“Why’d you come?” Grady continued his interrogation. “What did you want me for?”
Dirk’s mind scrambled for another answer. “I’ve had a change of plans.”
That one was true enough. Lots of things had changed overnight. He’d planned on spending the summer campaigning with Rachel, but now that was shot to hell—along with the entire relationship. He still didn’t know what to think of that. Hadn’t even had enough time to properly digest it. Last night he was pissed as hell, but now in the light of day he only felt strong resentment coupled with vague confusion.
He still didn’t know what had compelled him to Janice’s door—he’d just found himself here. He couldn’t deny that sleeping with her had been a much needed balm after getting dumped, but it was a lot more than that. He liked Janice. A lot.
She was so different from Rachel, so easy to be with. She didn’t place demands on him—even after what happened last night. He really didn’t know what to think about that yet. By the way she’d avoided his gaze, she didn’t either. He needed time to get it all sorted out—to get his head straight. Maybe she understood that too.
“I’m not dropping out of the circuit,” Dirk suddenly declared, wondering if the head injury had scrambled his brains after all. But the notion of Janice traveling alone with Grady stuck in his craw. “You still need a buddy, don’t you?” he asked.
“Told you last night, I got one.”
“You mean Janice? She might be able to give you a lift as long as you’re headed in the same direction, but that won’t last long if you plan to do Cowboy Christmas. ’Sides, she can’t share your room expenses.”
Grady passed an assessing look over the trailer. “Who says I plan to have any?”
Dirk fought the urge to grind his teeth. “Don’t you think you should clear that with her first?”
“What with who?” Janice emerged from the tiny bathroom. She nodded to Dirk. “Sorry for keeping you waiting so long.”
She was dressed but he’d forgotten to give her her boots. She played it cool, nonchalantly grabbing a pair of socks from a drawer, sitting down, and then dragging them on along with her boots.
“Just talking about the rodeo schedule, Sweet Cheeks,” Grady dissembled.
Dirk noticed her slight grimace at the pet name. It annoyed her, but he guessed she was either too shy or too polite to say so.
“Great. We can talk about all that over breakfast.” Janice stood with a bright smile. “Let’s go. I’m starved.”
* * *
The diner was only a couple of miles down the road. As they drove, Janice and Grady carried on some small talk while Dirk was lost in his thoughts. He didn’t know why he’d made the decision to rodeo all summer. He’d actually looked forward to a break from it. He’d never planned to go pro and make a career of it as Grady wanted to do, but he also wasn’t ready to settle down to full-time ranching yet either.
They pulled into the diner with his mind still racing. Dirk ordered his breakfast without even looking at the menu and a minute later excused himself to make a call. He stepped outside, scowled at his phone, and dialed his brother.
“’Bout time,” Wade answered. “Was wonderin’ when I’d hear from you.”
“Now,” Dirk replied. “I need my truck back, asshole.”
“Look, Dirk. Wanna lay off now? You know you were in no shape to drive last night. I was only looking out for you the same way I hope you’d look after me.”
Guilt hit him between the eyes like a two-by-four. His brother was right. He shouldn’t have driven last night. “All right,” Dirk conceded. “I’m the asshole. Happy now, li’l bro?”
“Is that an apology?” Wade asked.
“It’s as close as you’re gonna get.”
“I can live with that.” Wade laughed. “You were getting damned tiresome, you know. Did you call home yet? Mama’s about out of her mind with worry after what happened to you last night. I told her you were OK, but it’d be best if she heard it straight from you.”
“I’ll call. You didn’t mention anything ’bout me and Rachel, did you?”
“Didn’t have to. Rae had already called to cry on her shoulder.”
“Shit.” Dirk kicked a boot toe into the dirt. “That’s all I need.”
“You gonna try to make it up to her?”
“Hell no,” Dirk said. “I’m letting sleeping dogs lie till I get everything figured out.”
Figured out? That was a tall order, Dirk thought dryly. It wasn’t that he didn’t want Rachel anymore. He did—or at least he’d thought he did. Hell, after last night he wasn’t sure about anything anymore. Which now brought things back around to Janice. He scrubbed his face. What the hell had he been thinking last night?
“You better not take too long deciding,” Wade warned. “You can’t keep stringing Rachel along. I told you last night there’s plenty of guys ready and able to take your place.”
“Let it go,” Dirk growled. “I’ll deal with it when I’m ready…and I’m not ready.”
Silence. “She’s too good for you.”
“Fuck you. And when you’re done, bring me the truck, will ya? I’m at Casper’s Good Cookin.’ Gonna have breakfast and then head out for Thermopolis with Grady.” He decided it would be better to make no mention of Janice. Things were already tangled enough to make his throbbing head want to explode.
“Thought you were taking a break from rodeo for a while,” Wade said.
“Changed my mind,” Dirk replied.
“All right. I’ll find someone to follow me over. Be there in a few…and, Dirk?”
“Yeah? What?”
“Call the folks. They really are worried sick.”
“Right. Bye, Wade.” Dirk clicked the phone off and stuck it back in his pocket, vowing to make the call home…after he’d come to some decisions.
Rejoining Grady and Janice, he slid into the booth opposite them, grunting absently to the waitress who came by with coffee. Still brooding over his conversation with Wade, he took up his cup and glanced at the television mounted over the lunch counter. The channel was set to CNN with a reporter giving an update on a recent bombing in Kabul, Afghanistan. A taxi packed with explosives had rammed a bus carrying thirty-three UN peacekeepers. The next story was on the Taliban bombing of an Afghani school for girls, one that had only recently been rebuilt.
“Animals. Fucking animals.” Dirk shook his head with rage, cursing when his coffee sloshed over the brim of his cup, splashing his hands. “The Taliban deserves to be blown back to the Stone Age.”
Grady gave a careless shrug. “Who cares about that wasteland anyway? We should just pull the hell out. They’ll do themselves in eventually without any help from us.”
Looking uncomfortable, Janice maintained silence. “So are you two back to traveling together now?” she asked as soon as the waitress returned with their food.
“Yes—”
“No—”
Janice frowned over the cup that was poised to her lips, looking from Dirk to Grady and back again. “Well? Which is it?”
“Told you last night that I’m looking to get in as many rides as I can to qualify for the finals,” Grady replied, “while it seems Pretty Boy here don’t know what the hell he wants.”
Dirk had to admit that truer words had never been spoken.
College had gone by too damn fast. He might be four years older, but he sure as hell wasn’t any wiser. He still hadn’t figured out what he wanted to do with his life. Although ranching ran in his blood four generations deep, and he knew it would be what he turned to eventually, right now the idea of going home made him feel caged. Smothered. It was the same reaction he’d had when Rachel started dropping hints about an engagement. He just wasn’t ready to settle down.
For the past few years, rodeo had seemed the perfect answer. Life on the road was rough and unpredictable as hell, but he’d enjoyed the freedom of it more than he’d minded the discomforts. When in the money, he and Grady had lived high on the hog, dining out on T-bones and sleeping in air-conditioned motels, but losing meant more than aches and bruises. It was a diet of saltine crackers and nights spent in the truck bed.
For four years now riding rough stock had taken the edge off, had relieved some of the restlessness that shadowed him, but now the twitchy feeling was back with a vengeance and he didn’t know if rodeo was still the answer. There had to be something more, something to fill the void he felt deep in his gut. He just wished to hell he knew what it was.
He looked up to find Janice watching him. She quickly diverted her gaze back to her plate. Janice. That whole situation really had his head all screwed up. He never should have gone to her last night in the shape he was in. He felt a trace of guilt but had a hard time summoning any regret over it. On the one hand, he damn sure wasn’t ready to jump feetfirst into a new relationship, but on the other, Grady’s sniffing around her almost had him spitting nails.
Over breakfast, Grady’s gaze tracked continually back and forth between them. It was obvious he suspected something. Dirk wasn’t sure why he felt so compelled to hide what had happened between him and Janice. It just seemed wrong to reveal to the world what they’d shared in private. On top of that, the situation would get awkward as hell if the three of them were going down the road together.
As fidgety as she looked, he guessed Janice was thinking the same thing.
“You’re awful quiet, Sweet Cheeks. Whatcha thinkin’?” Grady asked.
Janice glanced up at him, flushed-faced and looking guilty as sin. “Nothing much,” she replied, plucking at her napkin. “Just dreading a whole summer spent on the road.”
“I was wonderin’ ’bout that,” Dirk said. “How is it that you’re running the stock alone now? Where’s your ol’ man?”
“He’s been under the weather for months,” Janice said. “He’s never been sick in his whole life, but he’s lost a lot of weight and has stomach complaints and back pain that won’t go away. He saw a chiropractor for a while, but it didn’t help any. When his eyes started turning kinda yellow, we convinced him to go to the family doc for a full checkup. That was last week. The doc didn’t say much but ordered a bunch of tests that he’s s’posed to have soon. I can’t help fearing it’s liver failure or something like that.”
“I’m sorry to hear it,” Dirk said. “What about your other hands? Isn’t there anyone else to help you?”
“Not anymore. Ace walked out. Wanted more money than we could pay, even though he wasn’t worth half what he was making to begin with. He was drunk most of the time and way too rough with the stock. I told Daddy I could do better, but he’s a chauvinist to the bone. He didn’t want to give me a shot until he didn’t have any other choice. Truth be told, I’ve had to work twice as hard just to be thought half as good my whole life, but I don’t see how I can do it all. If the doc confirms the worst, I’ll be needed at home, but I can’t be there and work the rodeos. We can’t afford to lose the contracts, but if I can’t find some help, things’ll go to hell in a handbasket real fast. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I’ve worried about this, how much it’s been weighing on me.”
Dirk was thoughtful. “I don’t see why me and Grady couldn’t lend you a hand for a while—long as you’d let us work around the rodeo schedule. What do ya think?”
Dirk looked to his traveling buddy, who slouched back in his seat.
“Don’t see why not,” Grady said. “We’re traveling together anyhow and I’ve got nothing else lined up. ’Sides, I could use the extra cash—”
Dirk glowered at him. “Who said anything about money? Janice is a friend in need. We shouldn’t take advantage of that.”
“It’s a reasonable request to get paid, Dirk,” Janice protested. “I’d have to pay someone else anyway, so it might as well be you two.”
“I won’t take your money, Janice,” Dirk insisted.
Janice looked shocked by the offer. “You really mean that?”
“Shit yeah,” Dirk said. “At least until Cowboy Christmas. After that, if you’re needed at home, we can haul the bulls for you.”
“Thanks, Dirk.”
He flashed a grin. “Don’t sweat it, sweetheart. We’ve got your back.” Her answering smile suggested a great burden had lifted from her shoulders. Oddly, he felt lighter too.
“Will you both excuse me?” she asked. “I need to make a quick trip to the ladies’ room and then I’ve gotta get rolling. Need to get my bulls loaded up and hit the road.”
Dirk and Grady looked after her in silence until Janice was well out of earshot.
“What the fuck was that all about?” Grady demanded. “You made me look like an asshole just now.”
Dirk shrugged. “She needs help.”
“And I need money to pay my entry fees. Some of us ain’t as privileged as others,” he added with rancor.
“If you’re short, I’ll spot you a couple hundred,” Dirk offered. “You can pay me back when you win in Thermopolis…or whenever.” He shrugged.
Grady’s expression was still black. “That don’t fix the poor impression she just got of me.”
Dirk laughed. “Since when did you start caring what anyone thinks of you?”
“Since I started thinking about the future,” Grady replied. “I figure I got five, maybe ten years of rodeo left in me—if I’m lucky—and then what? You got a ranch. I got shit. I need a retirement plan.”
Dirk’s gaze narrowed. “What are you getting at?”
Grady leaned back with a toothpick sticking out of his mouth. “Simple enough. Her ol’ man’s got a decent spread and a contracting business. He’s real sick. If he kicks the bucket, someone’s gotta run it. I don’t see why it can’t be me.”
Dirk felt his fuse ignite. “What the hell are you saying, Grady? You think Janice is gonna be some kinda gravy train for you?”
“A man could do a helluva lot worse. She ain’t hard on the eyes and she’s a good hand to boot.”
Dirk clenched and unclenched his fists under the table. “In case you haven’t noticed, she ain’t interested in you.”
“Only ’cause I haven’t properly applied myself. I can be Prince-Fucking-Charming when I apply myself.”
“And you intend to do that?”
“Yeah. I do. Why do you think we’re traveling together? Look, Pretty Boy, we’ve been friends for a long time now, so I’m feedin’ it to you straight. I’m staking my claim. Right here. Right now. If you’re smart, you’ll go make up to your rich little rodeo princess and stay the hell away from Janice.”