Sod knew he should be in pain. But he wasn’t. He couldn’t feel anything actually. As he climbed to his feet he found himself right in the middle of Walter Bones’s back porch. Thankfully, the bucket of blood was a couple of metres away. He looked up at the tree branch that he’d fallen from and started to feel a bit dizzy. He felt the back of his head and his hair was wet. Moving his hand in front of his face he saw blood on his fingers. Danforth blood might be powerful, but it looked red and shiny, just like normal blood. And now his bum was starting to hurt. Then he remembered landing on the hard concrete of the porch – bum first, head second.
But more importantly – where was Walter Bones?
Sod couldn’t see him but he could hear mumbling coming from the shadows at the rear of the backyard. Walter Bones was still down there. He’d been chasing Karma and probably hadn’t seen Sod plummet from the tree.
Sod jumped down from the porch and sprinted off before Walter Bones spotted him. He heaved himself over the fence and dropped into the empty backyard of the house next door. He found the driveway and ran back out to the dark street, forcing himself to keep running until he was a few blocks away.
The back of his skull was sore and sticky with blood, and his backside was throbbing with pain, but he was worried about Karma. Had she gotten away? He took out his scythe to message her and saw that she’d beaten him to it.
grrr. stepped on a dry branch. bones chased me but I made it over the back fence. gotta go home for dinner now or parents will freak. see you tomorrow if you ever get out of that tree:)
At least she hadn’t seen him fall. His new daredevil, tree-climbing persona was still intact. But all of this had left him with more questions than answers. He thought about going home but had no idea what he’d say to his dad. He didn’t know who his dad was anymore. There seemed to be a number of different versions:
Dad #1: Serious Dad
Dad #2: Grim Reaper Dad
Dad #3: World Famous Death Philosopher Dad
Dad #4: Besties-with-a-corpse Dad
Who was his real dad? Sod had always thought his dad was just a serious guy who worked in taxation. But it wasn’t as simple as that anymore.
Blood trickled down the back of his neck and he put his hand over the wound on his head. It was time for a visit to the hospital. His mum would fix him up. And while he was there he could look for the Filibuster doctor.
There were many important things he needed to consider as he walked through the streets. Like what his dad had been doing with Walter Bones. But all he could think about was Karma. He replayed the kiss over and over until he arrived at Williamsburg Hospital, where his mum worked – yet another piece of town owned by the Williamsburgs.
Sod walked up to a nurses’ station at the maternity ward. The nurses there were used to Sod dropping by every now and then and waved him to the delivery room his mum was in. As he got close to the room he could hear screaming.
‘ARRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!’
Someone was either dying or giving birth. Sod wasn’t actually allowed into the operating theatres but just as he was about to sit down outside the door and wait for his mum to make an appearance, the screaming stopped.
He looked around. A nearby security guard was completely still with his finger in his nose. Sod knew a Time Stoppage when he saw one. Someone had just died. Had it been the screaming woman? Or worse – the baby? He gulped and headed through the doors.
‘Hi Sod,’ said his mum, taking off blood-soaked gloves and washing her hands in the sink.
On a bed in the middle of the room was the screaming woman. She wasn’t dead, but she was frozen in time. And Sod could see blood and a baby poking out. He gagged, squeezing his eyes shut. Who knew birth was just as messy as death?
‘I think you’d better come with me.’ His mum dragged him out of the room. ‘I have to reap the death that just happened.’
Sod had to run to keep up. ‘Who died?’
‘Mr Kowalski,’ his mum said. ‘He’s in a room a couple of doors down, where he was temporarily recovering from some minor surgery. He was fighting cancer. I popped in and gave him the Death Touch a few minutes ago, before that baby started coming.’
As they walked, Sod’s mum checked her beeper, looked at her watch, examined her scythe and glanced at the clipboard under her arm. Sod could see why she got so tired. Reaping and working in a hospital was full on.
‘I have twelve women going into labour tonight,’ she said. ‘That woman back there is just the first. We’ll hopefully have a dozen babies by the time this night is over. Isn’t that exciting?’
‘I guess so.’
‘Anyway, what are you doing here, sweetheart?’
‘I cut my head.’
‘Ow,’ said his mum, taking a look at the back of his head. ‘I’ll clean that up in a sec. How did it happen?’
‘I fell from a tree,’ he said. ‘Never would have happened if we weren’t grim reapers.’
His mum looked confused. ‘You reaped someone in a tree?’
‘No … I …’ Sod wasn’t sure what to tell his mum. ‘It’s complicated. Reaping has changed everything.’
‘I know,’ said his mum.
She saw Karma’s hoodie and tapped Sod’s arm. ‘Where did this come from?’
‘A friend lent it to me.’
‘Sweetheart, that hoodie makes you look like a dangerous punk.’
‘I’m a grim reaper. I am dangerous.’
‘I suppose that’s technically true.’
They turned into a room where an elderly man was lying on a bed in a nightgown. Floating next to the bed was his spirit.
‘I think I died,’ said the spirit.
‘That’s right,’ said Sod’s mum.
‘Are you Death?’ the spirit said.
Sod was surprised. This was the first time he’d heard a spirit ask that question.
‘Yes,’ his mum replied.
‘Bugger. I knew you’d come for me before I got out of this darn hospital.’
‘We’re just here to help you on your way,’ said Sod, surprising himself by delivering the company line.
A White Portal opened up next to the bedroom window.
‘Ready to go, Mr Kowalski?’ said Sod’s mum.
‘Not really, but it’s better than spending any more time in this cursed place,’ said the spirit, before floating into the portal.
With the spirit and the portal gone, Sod’s mum made Sod sit on the edge of the bed, next to Mr Kowalski’s body.
‘We’ve got a few more minutes before the Time Stoppage is over.’
‘You reap really fast,’ said Sod.
‘I’ve learned to be efficient, otherwise I’d never have time for a cup of tea. Now let me take a look at you.’ She shone a flashlight in his eyes, then examined his head. ‘You haven’t done anything too serious, but that cut is pretty deep. You’ll need a couple of stitches.’
She headed out of the room and came back with a few items.
‘I need to be back delivering that baby when time restarts in a couple of minutes,’ she said. ‘This won’t take long.’
‘OK,’ said Sod, keeping his head as still as possible as she stitched him up.
‘You know, I hated grim-reaping when I first started,’ his mum said. ‘And I wasn’t a reaper until I was in my late twenties.’
‘Why didn’t you become a grim reaper at eighteen?’ said Sod. ‘That’s the rule, isn’t it?’
‘Because I wasn’t a Danforth when I was eighteen.’
Now that Sod thought about it, of course his mum had married into the family. She had been Rosie Pinyama before she’d married his dad and become Rosie Danforth. So she couldn’t have been a reaper when she was a teenager.
‘Did you get to be a grim reaper when you married Dad?’
‘No, only people who have Danforth blood have the power to be grim reapers.’
Sod twisted around in disgust. ‘So … you drank Dad’s blood to become a reaper?’
‘Of course not. I became a reaper when I got pregnant with you. Your blood has always been Danforth blood and it naturally mixed with mine when I was pregnant with you. Ever since then, I’ve been a grim reaper.’
‘Oh,’ he said, with relief.
‘But, you’ve also got Pinyama blood in you. I like to think that’s where your sensitive side comes from.’
‘I’m not sensitive,’ said Sod. ‘I’m dangerous, remember?’
‘Naturally. Now turn around and hold still until I say you can move.’
Sod did as she asked. ‘Did you want to be a reaper?’
‘Not straightaway,’ his mum answered in a soft voice. ‘But I wanted to have a child with your dad. I had to become a grim reaper to do that. And I’m so glad I did.’
Sod was speechless. His mum had chosen to become a reaper because she’d wanted to have a baby. Him.
‘I might reap patients at this hospital, but my passion is for delivering newborns,’ she said. ‘The opposite of death isn’t life, you know – it’s birth.’ She stuck a bandage over Sod’s head and patted him on the back.
‘You’re done. I’ve given you four stitches. Your head will be fine now. And I’d better get back to that birth.’
‘Thanks, Mum,’ said Sod. ‘For everything.’
They walked back into the delivery room and Sod’s mum joined the crowd of people all looking down at the frozen woman with a baby’s head coming out of her. She was still paused mid-scream.
‘Do you know a doctor called Jay Filibuster?’ asked Sod.
‘Yeah, he’s up on the fifth floor,’ said his mum, putting a pair of gloves on. ‘Listen, the Time Stoppage will be over any –’
‘ARRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!’ screamed the woman giving birth.
The Time Stoppage was officially over. But as far as everyone else was concerned, Sod’s mum had never left the room. She was an expert reaper.
‘Keep pushing, we’re almost there,’ said Sod’s mum to the woman, shooing Sod out of the room with one hand. One of the nurses glanced at Sod in confusion.
Sod went out, then remembered he’d meant to ask about Walter Bones.
‘One more thing,’ he said, poking his head through the doorway. ‘Is it possible for zombies to exist? Like, medically?’
In a flash, Sod’s mum was leading him swiftly out of the suite, yelling over her shoulder for the midwife to step in.
‘How did you hear about that?’ she whispered when they were out in the corridor. ‘I thought they were just rumours.’
His mum’s pale face told Sod that he’d just stumbled onto something important. ‘What do the rumours mean?’
‘I always thought it was just a Danforth urban legend,’ his mum said worriedly. ‘Until people in the family recently started talking about dead people being reanimated.’
‘Zombies?’
‘Zombies are fictional creatures that wander around eating brains. No, I’m talking about zombividuals. They’re a different kind of creature. Much more like real people. They can even think for themselves, just like human individuals can. Except they’re dead.’
Was Walter Bones a zombividual?
‘How are these zombividuals made?’
‘Who knows,’ said his mum. ‘But if the rumours are true, there’s a rat in the family – someone has learned how to turn dead people into zombividuals. But it’s not natural. Zombividuals live on for a few extra days, then they rot and decompose like a normal dead body does, until they eventually melt into a pile of rotting flesh and bones.’
Sod felt sick. ‘Who would want to make zombividuals then?’
‘ARRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!’
‘No idea,’ said his mum, glancing back into the delivery room. ‘But you’d better get out of here, I’ve got a new human to bring into the world.’
His mum disappeared and Sod took off down the corridor, thinking about what he’d learned. From his mum’s summary, Walter Bones was possibly a zombividual, and a member of the family was helping him out.
Perhaps it was no coincidence that his dad had been chatting with Walter Bones just before. Which meant there was another dad to add to the growing list.
Dad #5: Rat Dad