The coffin containing Walter Bones had been closed and moved up onstage, ready for the funeral service. Sod didn’t want to stick around. They’d already been caught taking off the dead man’s shoe and loitering around his coffin.
But they couldn’t leave without Karma. The more Sod thought about it, the more he worried she was not all right. The syringe had only been stuck in her hand for a moment. But had it been a moment too long? And what was in it? Poison, no doubt, but what kind?
They needed to take Karma to a doctor. Until then Sod and his dad had no choice but to sit down for Walter’s funeral service.
‘Back row,’ said his dad. ‘We don’t want to get too close to the family.’
A couple of people in the front rows turned to watch as they sat down.
‘Why not?’ said Sod.
‘Because they know who we are. And apparently they want me dead.’
A couple more people came into the room. Sod could have sworn they looked directly at him before sitting down.
‘Who are these people?’ he whispered.
‘You know the Williamsburg family, right?’
‘The real-estate dudes? The ones we borrowed $5 million from? Are they here?’
His dad looked at him strangely. ‘Sod, this is a Williamsburg funeral.’
Sod reached into his pocket and pulled out the funeral program. He hadn’t noticed the name when he’d first seen it. But now he saw what was written underneath Walter’s face.
Walter Bones Williamsburg
82 Glorious Years
R.I.P.
Sod couldn’t believe it. ‘Walter Bones is a Williamsburg!’
His dad elbowed him in the stomach. ‘Not so loud!’
In all the time Sod had been trying to find Walter he’d had no idea he was a Williamsburg. On the day of his death the scythe had told him to reap ‘Walter Bones’. Why hadn’t his full name appeared?
‘My investigations have led me to believe that Walter’s death was a set-up,’ said his dad. ‘It’s too much of a coincidence that a spirit went missing on your very first solo reaping. I think Walter was tipped off by the rat in the Danforth family. And I believe you were allocated Walter’s death because you were a newbie who could be blamed for an unsuccessful reaping.’
Sod nodded. That made sense. He’d blamed himself for messing up. It was a relief to find out other forces may have been at work.
‘The thing is,’ Sod’s dad spoke in a low, confidential voice, ‘Walter’s death was planned very carefully. The reason I never showed up for your first solo reaping is because I got a message from an anonymous source saying that a suspicious, unreported death had just taken place on the other side of town and that I was required urgently. So I went there instead of attending your reaping.’
‘What was the suspicious death?’
‘It didn’t exist. It was a distraction.’ His dad rubbed his eyes, like he was suddenly very tired. ‘I didn’t realise until much later that someone in the Danforth family – probably the rat – didn’t want me anywhere near Walter. And I was too embarrassed about letting you down to say anything.’
‘Oh.’
Sod felt sorry for his dad. Uncle Rodge had screamed at him that day at Danforth Manor for missing Walter’s death.
‘That’s so impressive, Dad.’
‘You think my abandoning you is impressive?’
‘Well, no. But I’m impressed you were embarrassed about it.’
His dad smiled briefly, before shaking his head. ‘We still don’t know who the rat is. I tried to flush him or her out by spreading rumours about zombividuals. I thought it might scare the rat into confessing. But it hasn’t worked so far.’
Walter Bones hadn’t coughed up the name of the rat during the Time Stoppage. But he had revealed how he’d become a zombividual. As the soft organ music continued to play, Sod told his dad about everything that had happened. Punching Walter Bones in the face. The dead man’s lip splitting. And – most importantly – Walter giving up the secret of how he became a zombividual.
‘So that’s how it’s done,’ Sod’s dad marvelled at the revelation. ‘The spirit simply re-merges with the corpse. Amazing. That means every zombividual will cause a Black Portal by not going into their White Portal.’
Then he focused on Sod, his eyes darkening. ‘You must never tell anyone else how to make zombividuals. Death is natural. Zombividuals are not.’
Sod nodded distractedly, his mind racing.
‘What about Thomas O’Dalley?’ he said. ‘That guy who was shot dead in the street. Does he have anything to do with all this?’
This got his dad’s attention. He looked at Sod with a mixture of pride and gloom. ‘Thomas O’Dalley was a lawyer for the Williamsburg family. But two weeks before he was murdered he quit working for them. My guess is that he discovered something he shouldn’t have.’
‘That fat man shot him,’ said Sod. ‘The same guy who just threw syringes at you. You think he’s working for the Williamsburgs?’
‘See for yourself.’
At that moment the organ music stopped and who else but the fat man walked up to the stage.
‘Hello, my name is Magic Williamsburg,’ the man said into the microphone.
‘Magic!’ whispered Sod.
Thomas O’Dalley’s last word, said with his dying breath, had been the name of his killer. Somehow, the Williamsburgs were involved in everything that had gone down.
‘I’m the president of the Williamsburg family,’ said Magic Williamsburg, ‘and we are gathered here today to celebrate the life of my father, Walter Bones Williamsburg. A man who is now dead and will soon be buried six feet under the grounds of the Williamsburg Cemetery.’
No wonder no one had caused a fuss when Mr Crossranch’s body had been dragged away in the foyer. Nobody wanted to offend the Williamsburg president who had thrown the syringes. The whole funeral was so obviously a front. Walter was probably going to be on a beach in Bermuda before they even buried his coffin.
‘Walter will be missed. He liked to play bowls. He had a great sense of humour. He loved his dog, Desdemona.’
‘Her name is Esmeralda,’ muttered Sod.
His dad elbowed him, but Sod couldn’t sit through any more of this rubbish. Karma still hadn’t returned from the toilet. Was she OK in there?
‘I’m going to check on Karma,’ he said, jumping up before his dad could stop him.
With everyone watching the funeral Sod was able to move through the parlour and slip into the women’s toilets without being seen. He found Karma leaning over a hand basin full to the brim with vomit.
‘That is disgusting.’
‘I’m dying,’ said Karma, her voice shaky and weak. ‘I can feel the poison inside me. It’s everywhere. In my bloodstream. Attacking my vital organs. Waging war on my lungs.’
Sod grabbed Karma by the shoulders and turned her to look straight at him. Strands of wet and sticky hair clung to her forehead. Her whole body was trembling.
‘You are not dying,’ he said, with great determination. ‘That syringe was only in you for a second. Just one second. That’s no time at all.’
‘The other guy died straightaway,’ said Karma tearfully. ‘I’m probably just taking a bit longer because the poison wasn’t injected directly into my heart. I know how the human body works, Sod. I know better than you do. And I know I’ve been poisoned.’
She turned back to cough into the sink. Flecks of red blood sprayed the vomit that was crusting up in the basin.
‘We need to get you to a doctor,’ Sod said, trying to keep his voice calm. ‘Find out what that poison was. Hopefully there’ll be an antidote …’
Even as he said it, he knew there was a chance there wouldn’t be an antidote. And Karma heard it in his voice.
‘Help me,’ she sobbed. Black tears of mascara dripped down, joining the blood and vomit in the sink. ‘I don’t want to die. I don’t want to be gone forever.’
‘Me neither!’ Sod said urgently. ‘Come on, Karma, get up. We need to go.’
If Karma died he would be lost. Completely devastated and utterly lost. He turned and grabbed some paper from the towel dispenser and gently patted dry Karma’s stained cheeks, willing himself to get a grip.
Karma wasn’t going to die just because she said she was. That was the worst-case scenario. An idea was forming in his head. There was no reason for Karma to be gone forever. Even if the worst-case scenario came true.
‘Sod, I’m scared to die,’ Karma wept, pushing away the paper towel and covering her face with her hands. ‘I think I’ve been more afraid of death than I’ve ever admitted to myself.’
‘I know,’ he said quietly. He’d known for a while.
‘I can’t die. It would destroy my family if they lost another daughter. My parents have been terrified of death ever since Charlotte died. If I die too they’ll never recover.’
Sod couldn’t stand the thought of losing Karma. He wanted to be with her every day. There were so many more deathventures they needed to have. So many life answers they needed to find. And he knew a way to keep her around.
‘I don’t think you’re going to die,’ he explained. ‘But if you do, it’s not going to be the end. We’ll turn you into a zombividual. We’ll get that doctor to give you Eternaserum and a fake heart. You’ll be dead, but you’ll be fine, living your life just like usual. Forever, actually. It’s our backup plan, OK? Just in case.’
For a moment, Karma just looked at him. Then she answered in a rush, ‘Anything – I’ll do anything not to die.’
He didn’t say that becoming a zombividual would cause a Black Portal to open up and kill an innocent person. But Sod would do anything to save her.
Karma looked relieved to hear of his plan.
‘Deal then?’ he said.
Karma stuck out her hand and they shook. ‘Deal.’
‘Good,’ he said. ‘But we won’t have to resort to turning you into a zombividual because we’re going to get you to a doctor. And you’ll be fine and live happily ever after. No problems.’
‘Actually, I have a problem.’
Sod and Karma both twisted their heads to the bathroom doorway. Sod’s dad quietly closed the bathroom door. Sod had never seen his dad look so angry. Like a volcano right before it exploded.
‘How long have you been there?’ said Sod.
‘Long enough to hear your backup plan,’ his dad hissed. ‘To pervert death. To spit in the face of everything reapers stand for.’
‘Mr Danforth,’ said Karma. ‘I’m dying. I can feel it in my …’
‘No,’ Sod’s dad cut her off. ‘You’re not.’
His eyes moved from Karma to the sink of vomit and blood, then back to Karma. ‘Because we’re taking you to the hospital right now.’
His dad turned back to the door and Sod went after him.
‘We weren’t perverting death,’ Sod pleaded. ‘We were just making an emergency plan. I’ll do anything to stop her from dying.’
Sod’s dad turned, his eyes burning with molten fury. ‘We’ll talk about this in the car.’ And he stormed out the door.