LUCAS STOOD in the back bedroom a few days later, watching while Owen changed and dressed Mia.
And he hurt.
It always hurt, but coming right on the heels of Jacko’s betrayal, he wanted to crawl under the comforter with Owen and not come out.
Owen wanted to go to the cemetery. With him. It had been Ray Cassidy who had let slip to Owen last week that today was the third anniversary of Stevie’s and Tory’s deaths. In another month, his little boy would have been six and already in school. Sometimes he couldn’t imagine what Stevie would have been like, and then sometimes, he saw his son as clear as day. The cheeky smile. The mischievous laugh. He strode over to the changing mat and with a small smile picked up Mia and held her close, burying his face into her belly and blowing a noisy kiss, which had her squealing in delight.
It was the only thing that stopped him crying like a baby.
Owen put the palm of his hand on Lucas’s back. It felt good. He was glad Owen was going with him. Owen had asked if he wanted to get a sitter for Mia, but Lucas needed her there. It was as if her being alive made Stevie’s death less painful. He wasn’t sure why or how and didn’t really want to overthink it, but she did. He was glad Owen had ordered a cab. He didn’t want to drive, and while Owen could, he would rather hold him. Hold them both.
Lucas was quiet in the car. Mia was in the car seat and chewing on her fist. They turned the corner into the cemetery, and Lucas took a breath before he looked up. He could count the seconds to the point at which the corner plot would be visible. He had done this drive so many times. The first time, he never even remembered getting home. The words on the stone had just about finished him off.
Stephen Attiker—beloved son of Tory Attiker. Missed and loved.
And a date.
No mention of him at all. It was as if Stevie didn’t have a dad. As if Lucas didn’t exist. Had never existed.
Tory’s was the same, except her mom and dad had “Beloved daughter of…” and added their names.
Lucas raised his head as they turned in, knowing what he would see.
Except he didn’t.
The fire engine stood at the entrance. His company was lined up—the honor guard. The path to his family’s corner grave was marked out by his crew in full dress uniform.
Ray Cassidy stood with Father Grayson. Mark was in his chair next to the priest. Lucas sat in stunned silence and waited for his heart to settle, and then he got out, turned, and unstrapped Mia to give himself another second. If anyone spoke to him, he didn’t hear them. Then small baby arms clutched him tightly around his neck and he could breathe. He looked at Owen.
“Do you want me to take her?”
Lucas shook his head. He needed her. He needed to feel the little girl, whole and safe and very much alive.
He had to blink a few times as the priest spoke, and when he read the words added to the stone, he glanced at Owen through a mist.
“It was Mark,” Owen murmured.
“I spoke to Gerald and Melanie,” Mark explained. “I politely told them a few home truths. They didn’t want to come today, but they have a lot of photographs and some clothes, even a few toys Tory kept at their house. You would be welcome to go and get whatever you like. I believe Melanie has already had the pictures copied for you.” Mark glanced at Owen. “And the invitation is for all of you. They would very much like to meet Mia.”
Lucas swallowed down his tight throat and read the new engraving underneath Stevie’s name on the stone.
“Beloved son of Lucas Attiker. Always loved.”
He didn’t realize he was crying until Mia nuzzled his face and he felt her wet cheek.
THEY WENT home in a cab, despite many offers of rides. Owen didn’t think Lucas was up to socializing. Besides which, he had their own little dinner planned. They had things to talk about—things that had been left unsaid all week.
“That’s odd,” Lucas said as they pulled around the park and saw two Greeley police cars and a silver Mercedes parked outside the cottage. They watched as two cops got out of the cars as the cab stopped. Then an older gentleman and a young one in a suit got out of the Mercedes.
“Do you know them?” Owen asked.
“I know Martin Samuels,” Lucas said. “One of the policemen. He has a brother that’s a firefighter in Fort Collins. I’ve worked with him on some bigger fires.”
Owen got Mia out and turned as Lucas shook hands with the two cops. He glanced curiously at the older gentleman, and his heart stuck in his throat.
Because the man couldn’t take his eyes off Mia… and Owen had a really bad feeling about it. He hoisted Mia closer to him and heard the other cop ask if they could go inside. Lucas glanced his way and stepped back to Owen, put a reassuring arm around him, and guided him inside.
The older man missed nothing. He gazed expressionlessly at Owen and followed them. Owen caught sight of someone else in the Mercedes—a woman in some sort of uniform—but he wasn’t close enough to see who it was.
Owen walked into the kitchen and grabbed some toys for Mia. He got her sippy cup from the fridge and returned to the living room, where everyone seemed to be standing around. Owen put Mia down and turned to Lucas.
“What can I do for you?” Lucas asked the men.
The younger man stepped forward and offered him some papers. “My name is David Greer.” He nodded to the older man, who was still staring at Mia. “This is Judge Simon Baxter, and these papers give him sole custody of Maria Baxter, daughter of Mary Baxter, and his great-granddaughter. We brought the authorities with us in case you dispute my client’s claim.”
Owen sank down on the couch, reaching over and gathering Mia to him. “No,” he whispered. “That’s not possible. She’s my daughter.”
The attorney shook his head. “There are no legal adoption papers filed.”
“But—” And then he realized. The two marshals who had promised Mia would be his were dead.
“Samuels?” Lucas prompted the cop. “Is this true?”
“I’m afraid so. Mr. Damien Malvetti had no legal claim on Maria—”
“Mia,” Owen interrupted. “She’s called Mia.” He was numb. He didn’t know what to say.
“Mia,” the cop corrected, glancing nervously at Baxter, but the older man made no comment.
“My client has been searching for his granddaughter for the last three years. He only learned of his great-granddaughter’s existence from speaking to a Miss Mariska Vaughn, who I believe was employed as a housekeeper by Mr. Malvetti. While she no longer worked for Mr. Malvetti at the time Mia came to live there, she had friends on the staff. I spoke to Agent Gallagher, and I have read your account of Mary Baxter’s death.”
And Owen, even though Baxter was ripping his life apart, felt sorry that the older gentleman had found out that way. He was surprised Gallagher—
“It was you,” Owen suddenly exclaimed, looking at the judge. “You were the reason Damien wanted Mia. It wasn’t my parents he’d hoped to blackmail. He knew who Mary was… and he was saving Mia to use as leverage.” It made perfect horrible sense. Why bother with a small-town mayor when you had a high court judge? And DuPree must have known as well, and thought Mia was her ticket out.
Owen wiped a hand across his face, and Bailey stood up and leaned into Owen’s leg. Mia immediately cooed and leaned down, so Owen sat her in the playpen, trying to make sense of how rapidly everything was going wrong. He looked up at Baxter. “One day I would have lost her anyway. One day, Damien would have gotten what he wanted, and you would have had her back.” He looked at Lucas, his eyes stinging. “She was never going to be mine.”
Lucas sat down next to Owen and pulled him close. He looked at the judge. “You can’t just come in here—”
“Actually he can,” Greer said quietly. “He has the legal right. That is the reason why we brought the officers with us.”
Owen was so cold. He curled into Lucas. Mia was babbling away, completely unfazed by what was happening. Of course, Bailey was curled up at the side of the playpen. They were inseparable.
“We asked for immediate removal and were granted it because of the circumstances under which the child has been living.”
Owen looked up. “What do you mean, circumstances?”
“Running from law enforcement. Being involved in three armed shootings. Having her life threatened on those occasions, if not more. Even if my client didn’t have a spotless reputation, I understand Mar—Mia has been assigned a case worker who was due to call around today and make an assessment. It is very likely she would have been placed in emergency foster care anyway.”
Owen nodded miserably.
“Owen?” Lucas said gently. “We’ll get an attorney.”
“And do what?” Owen blurted out and then put a hand over his mouth when his voice cracked. He lowered it. He gazed at Lucas. “Everything is true. She has been around madmen. She was there when Damien tried to kill me and others. She was there—” And he hadn’t cried. He hadn’t made a sound, not wanting to distress her. And when Damien had climbed off of him, Damien had thought it was funny and had insisted on her being in the room from then on.
“And she’s been loved.” Lucas took Owen’s hands in his. “You did all that to save her life.” He glanced at Baxter. “Owen saved Mia’s life the night your granddaughter was murdered. Did you know that? At an age when most people would be still in college, he took full responsibility for an infant and was made to suffer for it.” Lucas ended his sentence on a snarl. “He’s spent months of virtual imprisonment by that madman when he could have escaped, just to keep Mia safe. He’s risked his own life more times than you can possibly imagine, just for her. If that isn’t being a good dad, I don’t know what is.”
The attorney glanced at the judge, and the judge nodded. “And as such, my client is willing to grant supervised visits—”
“Well, isn’t that big of him,” Lucas interrupted. He wasn’t about to act grateful. As if this man wasn’t about to destroy Owen faster than Damien had been able to.
“B-bee.” Mia suddenly clapped her hands, and Bailey pricked his ears up. He stood up, cocked his head on one side, and then with a bound, he was in the playpen. Mia shrieked in delight and tugged Bailey’s ear to make him lie down next to her.
The attorney waved a hand at them both. “And that exactly illustrates her disgraceful neglect. Letting a dangerous animal—”
“David,” the judge interrupted the attorney and sat down on the old leather chair next to the playpen. “It’s a Labrador, and I’m pretty sure he hasn’t got a dangerous bone in his body.” Judge Baxter extended his hand to Bailey, and Bailey sniffed it, then licked it.
“Traitor,” Lucas muttered for a second time.
The judge looked at the cops. “Officers, would you be so good as to wait in the car?”
The two cops looked at each other in surprise but quickly acquiesced. He then turned to his attorney. “David? I believe you might find a coffee machine in the kitchen. Go and get it working, please.”
David gaped.
“Or tea if there is a kettle?” He patted Bailey again. “I’m afraid I favor the English tradition of only steeping my tea in boiling water.”
Owen was convinced he was having an out-of-body experience.
Judge Baxter scratched Bailey’s ear and smiled at Mia, who was watching him carefully. He turned to Lucas. “Why is my great-granddaughter living here?”
“Because her dad’s here,” he said pointedly.
Baxter smiled. “No, I phrased that poorly. What I meant to ask is… why is Owen here?”
Lucas didn’t reply immediately. He gazed at the judge as if sizing him up and then looked at Owen. “Because I’m in love with him, and I want them both to be my family.”
And even though everything was shit, Owen’s heart beat a little faster, pushing against his ribs as if straining to get closer to Lucas. It was as if it knew where its home was.
Judge Baxter turned to Owen. “And how do you feel?”
A fresh round of tears made Lucas look blurry, but Owen wiped them away. “What do you care?” he asked angrily. “The way I feel about Lucas is none of your damn business.”
And the judge put his head back and chuckled. Mia shuffled nearer, clearly fascinated.
Owen looked at Lucas, and Lucas sighed, nodding, and looked at the floor. Owen realized Lucas had misunderstood. “I said it was none of his business, not that it wasn’t any of yours.” Lucas looked up, and even in the middle of everything, it was so important that Lucas knew the truth.
“I promised I wouldn’t rush you,” Lucas said hoarsely.
Owen reached out and took Lucas’s hand, pulling him close.
“I love you.” Owen squeezed his hand, then kissed his fingers, realizing he should have said this a long time ago. “I fell in love with you when you told me you didn’t take in strays and then proceeded to do just that. I fell in love with you when you used your body to shield a perfect stranger from a forest fire. I fell in love with you when you opened your home and your heart. When you would have died for us.”
He looked at Baxter and smiled at Mia. “I will never be rich. I will never live in a big house. She won’t go to a private school. She would live here with her two dads and her dog and go to the park and feed the ducks. Maybe ride the swings and watch the open-air movies and get ice cream after, or spend the evening sitting on her uncle Mark’s knee when he comes around for supper.”
“Or maybe,” Lucas said and reached over to lift her up. “She might sit on her grandad’s knee when he comes instead.” And carefully, Lucas handed her to the judge. Owen wanted to snatch her back, but he knew what Lucas was trying to do.
Baxter held her gently, and his eyes misted over.
“She is the exact double of Mary at her age.” He looked up at Owen. “I was too rigid, too controlling. Always knew what was best for other people.” Baxter swallowed. “I might as well have handed her the syringe myself.”
He looked at Lucas. “I know you. I didn’t realize until I walked in, but when you started speaking so passionately, I remembered who you were.”
Lucas gazed at the judge in confusion.
“I never followed it up, apart from a phone call to your station to thank you, because we’d just found out Mary had gone missing days after it happened.”
“After what happened?” Owen asked.
Baxter smiled at Owen. “Your young man saved my wife’s life. He dragged her out of her trapped car seconds before the boat we were towing pulled the car over the side of the cliff. She had a stroke three months ago and wasn’t strong enough to come. But you saved her life, and you made it possible for her to know our great-granddaughter.”
He dropped a kiss on Mia’s head. And then he stood, hitching her up on one hip. Owen scrambled to his feet in panic. She was going? He was taking her now? And then Baxter smiled and held her out to Owen. “I hope Grandma and Grandad may be included in the movie some weekends. I’m an old hand at feeding ducks.” His eyebrows rose as Lucas took Mia because Owen seemed frozen.
“We may have to negotiate on the school, however,” he added dryly, just as Greer came back into the room.
“There’s no kettle. I’m afraid—”
“It doesn’t matter.” Baxter waved a hand airily.
“We’ll get you one for next time,” Owen blurted, because much to his stunned amazement, he realized what was happening. Baxter fished a card from his pocket. “Contact my office and we’ll see about legalizing all this.”
“Or how about you come around on Friday, and we’ll talk about it,” Lucas suggested. “It’s a bit cold for the ducks, but family is always welcome. I’ve actually got a summer kitchen I’m hoping to finish, but maybe not by next Friday.”
Baxter nodded and took a step to the door but then turned back. “Mary lost her way because I was too mired in appearances. I needed to learn to love someone anyway, even if they don’t fit your expectations. I will never make that mistake again. I look forward to seeing you both on Friday.”
And while still holding Mia, Owen felt Lucas’s arm slide around his shoulders. Then they both stood at the window and watched Simon—as he insisted they call him—leave after promising to see him in a few days. Owen cuddled Mia, and Lucas cuddled them both.
“You can’t change your mind now,” Lucas murmured and turned Owen around to face him. “You just promised you loved me in front of a judge. Doesn’t that make it legal?”
Owen snuggled closer, and Mia wriggled, wanting to be let down. He laughed and sat her down next to Bailey. Her protector. Then he stepped back into Lucas’s open arms and sighed happily. His protector.
Except as Owen closed his eyes and tilted his lips up to meet Lucas’s kiss, he knew deep down that it wasn’t Lucas’s strength he needed. It was his love.
It was love that had kept them safe. And he knew that it always would.