“These are the pathways we’ve mapped in the Dungeons of Snerbville,” I began.
The screen looked like an ant farm, with dozens of tunnels going in every direction.
“That’s a good bit of work, Vexler,” Howard said to me. “Quite a lot of mapping you’ve got there.”
I knew Howard Huxley had literally no idea what he was looking at and couldn’t care less. As far as he was concerned, he was only in Snerbville at all because the feds were looking for him. That’s what happens when you burn through four billion dollars and then make a run for it.
“Now I’m going to show you the area we have not yet mapped,” I said.
The screen zoomed out until the whole glob of tunnels I’d shown were about the size of a coffee cup. The rest of the screen, and it was a very big screen, was nothing but a giant blob of brown.
“When you look at it this way, the problem seems rather small,” Maverick said, chuckling to himself. He was eating a frozen burrito, but I didn’t have the patience to keep taking snacks away from a blockhead.
“We stopped mapping two hundred and thirty-six days ago, and we’re dealing with a collection of creatures that double in size every few weeks,” I went on. “Which also doubles its appetite. I’ve modeled the expected rate of tunneling against the size of the Snerbs we have in captivity. This is what the large empty area more likely looks like.”
I tapped a few keys on a computer keyboard and the entire screen filled with hundreds of tunnels, some of them very wide.
Maverick dropped his burrito and it made a slap sound as it hit the linoleum floor.
“This is . . . a problem,” Maverick said.
“Ya think?” I asked.
“But there’s an endless amount of earth, right?” Howard Huxley asked. He looked at me with a nervous smile on his face.
“By my calculations, the Snerbs have already eaten over seven percent of the volume of the Earth,” I said. “And they’re eating faster than ever. It is quite possible there is a Snerb down here that’s bigger than Texas. Another one hundred days of this, and the Snerbs will have literally eaten the entire planet.”
Howard Huxley’s jaw dropped. “This is bonkers.”
Maverick made a giant gulping sound and stood up.
“I’ll be in my lab if you need me.” He was across the room and out the door in a nanosecond.
“Let me be clear,” I said as Howard stared slack-jawed at the screen. “If we don’t find a way to stop the Snerbs from eating, the planet is doomed. There will be no planet.”
“How much money will it cost to fix this?” Howard said. “I can raise it!”
I turned the monitor off and opened the storage closet door. When I returned, I was carrying a backpack filled with supplies.
“This is one problem money won’t solve,” I said. “And getting your daughter back? Money won’t buy that, either. We’re going to have to find her.”
This seemed to capture Howard’s attention. He may have been the worst businessman in the history of business, but his heart was always in the right place.
“Let’s go,” Howard said. “Let’s go right now.”
I felt sorry for Howard Huxley, but I couldn’t possibly venture deep into the Dungeons of Snerbville with someone so clueless.
“You’d only slow me down,” I said.
He looked at me as if the only thing that mattered in all the world was Tilda. He wiped a tear from his eye, and though he was unable to put words to the mistakes he’d made, it was clear on his face he knew he’d really messed things up.
“Don’t worry, Howard,” I said. “I’ll find her.”
And with that, a mission to save two kids and a planet being eaten by giant Snerb monsters began.