Several hours later, we were standing outside the command center and I could actually open the door all on my own.
“I haven’t opened a normal door in a very long time,” I said.
“It’s not as exciting as it looks,” Vexler said.
I frowned at her. What did she know? “I’ll be the judge of that,” I replied.
I flung the door open, and I had to admit, it wasn’t as thrilling as I thought it would be. But you want to know what was thrilling? The look on my dad’s face when he saw me standing there. He was entirely speechless, and that look on his face told me everything I needed to know: my dad loved me.
He glanced up at Vexler and mouthed two silent words—thank you—and then he was down on one knee and I ran to him. I might have been a big kid again, but I was still small enough to get lost in my dad’s embrace.
“I’m not small anymore,” I said, sniffling. I realized that my eyes and cheeks were wet. For some reason, I was crying again.
“You sure aren’t,” my dad whispered. “You’re my big kid.”
I took a deep breath and stepped away. “Wait until you hear all about what happened. You’re not going to believe it . . .”
The story came tumbling out. The whole thing took about an hour. It felt like an hour, anyway. I don’t think I’ve ever seen my dad so still for so long, but he barely even blinked. He just sat there with Maverick McFadden, the two of them rapt and wide-eyed, as I explained everything that we’d done. More than once they gasped. When I finally finished, I took a deep breath. My dad and Maverick turned to Vexler with disbelief. Had she really invented the Mega-Snerb-O-Matic? Had she found us and saved us, all the way down in the Dungeons of Snerbville? And was there truly a queen of the Snerbs?
Vexler opened her fanny pack and placed the queen in her hands for both of them to see.
“I’m going to need to experiment on that thing immediately,” Maverick said.
I thought that sounded like a terrible idea, and so did my dad.
“What becomes of the queen will be entirely up to Dr. Vexler.”
Maverick seemed angry about the idea of Vexler unseating him as the top dog in the Colossal Chemistry pecking order, but he didn’t protest.
With perfect timing, Barker arrived in the command center. He requested the use of a box with dimensions that quite nicely matched my old room, and I ran to find it. When I saw my box from the outside, where I’d lived for so long, I was almost homesick. I opened the lid and saw my spongy chair and thimble for a cup. I saw my bottlecaps and my stamps from around the world on the walls. My doll toys were there. It would be a perfect place for many tiny Snerbs, so at least my little home would still be useful.
I carried the box into the lab, and Barker tipped his backpack into my old home. Hundreds of Snerbs, each the size of a pea, landed in the box. They spread out and started eating things. Soon my room would be empty, but the world was safe.
“I’m going to need to test those as well,” Maverick McFadden said, trying to gain a foothold in the lab.
My dad looked across the room at Vexler and nodded.
“There will be no more testing,” Vexler said. “No more making and unmaking. No more growing and shrinking. And we’re going to need to visit your barn, your farm, your house. I need to see what you’ve been up to.”
Maverick looked stricken, as though someone had slapped him across the face.
“Now then,” my dad said. “What do we all think about ice cream at the Nevermind Burger Shack? On me!”
My dad may have lost billions of dollars almost destroying the world, but he was nothing if not generous. We all agreed we needed some sunlight and fresh air, and off we went toward the outside.
Barker was quiet as we climbed the many stairs leading up to the hidden door.
“You doin’ okay?” I asked.
“Sure, I’m fine.”
“You don’t sound fine.”
He hemmed and hawed and finally spilled the beans. “This was the best adventure I’m ever going to have. It’s all downhill from here.”
“Don’t be so sure of that,” Vexler said.
“Oh I’m sure,” Barker insisted. “It doesn’t get any better than that.”
We reached the door and Vexler pulled out a fancy gold key card. She slashed it through a card reader and the door clicked open.
Then she handed the key to Barker.
“It will need weekly inspections,” she said. “Your key, Commander Barker McMifflin.”
Barker’s face lit up with happiness.
“You mean it?” he asked. It was the first time I’d heard him sound like an actual eleven-year-old.
“I’m counting on it. Come see me in the lab and we’ll figure out what to do with the Snerbs.”
“I was thinking about an alteration to the Mega-Snerb-O-Matic,” Barker said. “It got awfully heavy.”
“I’ll add it to the list.”
“And I haven’t found the chicken yet.”
“Let’s get that done pronto.”
“I will find the chicken!”
Barker Mifflin was going to be a dungeon crawler, and while I wouldn’t normally wish that on my best friend, I knew it was exactly what would make him happy.
We stepped out into the woods that lay between McFadden Farm and downtown Nevermind. The air never smelled so good. A small llama, about the size of a dog, ran past happily.
“I’m already seeing signs of trouble,” Vexler said.
“How about if just me and Tilda go for ice cream,” Barker said. “We’ll swing by and grab Megan, Jenny, and Fen Stenson on the way.”
Mr. Howard Huxley realized without any other prompting that his daughter needed friends more than anything else. He looked at Vexler, and I thought I might have seen something new pass between them that I hadn’t seen before.
“Dr. Vexler, to the Nevermind Café?”
“I’d be delighted,” she said in her usual flat tone. But then she smiled.
“Those smiles of yours are becoming a habit,” I said.
“Don’t get used to it.”
Everyone laughed, even Barker, and then we looked around and realized something strange.
Maverick McFadden had disappeared.