Chapter 6

 

I’d decided to go after Pauli alone. What he’d done for me before—making a deal with Kalfu to protect me—it was sweet. But it also meant I was responsible for what he was going through. The last thing I wanted to do was bring in a crowd, make him feel like I was trying to conduct some kind of intervention. The truth was, I needed Pauli’s help… and I really didn’t have a leg to stand on in order to ask him for it. But I also knew I was probably the only person he’d ever met who knew what it was like to have another spirit inhabiting your body. I realize it was apples and oranges. Isabelle was a benevolent spirit. Incredibly annoying at times. But she meant well. But Kalfu? He was Evil McNasty. Only one rung lower on the ladder of villainy than Satan himself. In fact, as I understood it, he was often mistaken for the devil by those who’ve been foolish enough to summon him. While Pauli held the reins—Kalfu was always there… lurking in the recesses of his consciousness… speaking to him… trying to exact a bargain… trying to get a foothold. If what it took for Pauli to keep Kalfu at bay was a month, or two months, wallowing in his makeshift bedroom in his mother’s basement, then so be it. But I knew Pauli well enough to recognize that this lifestyle wasn’t him.

It wasn’t the first time I’d visited Pauli since it happened. His mother—a kind woman, though seemingly quite conservative by comparison to Pauli who, when he was himself, was about as flamboyant as they come—didn’t approve of Pauli’s decision to come out. She thought it was a phase, something she could change through prayer. But eventually she came to the realization that if she didn’t accept him, she’d lose him. We all have principles, but if our principles are put before people, what good are they? Strangely enough, she seemed more judgmental of me for being Catholic than she was of Pauli for being gay… and attending a Voodoo Academy. Go figure. I suppose the love one has for a child can overlook much—but it doesn’t necessarily change one’s core beliefs. We’ll put up with a lot for our family, on account of love, that we’d never tolerate from anyone else. Is it inconsistent? Yes. Is it right? Probably not. But it’s human nature, and I chose not to take her attitude toward me personally. I didn’t need her acceptance. I just needed her to let me in the house so I could go see Pauli.

There wasn’t any guarantee she would. More than once, I suspected she simply pretended she didn’t hear me knock on the door. I’d hear the television blaring, some preacher screaming in a way that I was reasonably sure the Juh-ee-zus he preached about never did. Of course, I doubt Jesus spoke with the dull monotone I was used to from my priests, either.

I braced myself for the conflict—if I was blessed enough to be graced with an open door. I took a deep breath and clenched my fist, ready to knock. The doorbell was broken—probably had been for years.

Before my fist struck the wood, the door swung open, and Pauli came barging through.

“Get me out of here, Annabelle! I can put up with Lucifer Junior in my head, but the one thing I can’t do is spend another moment listening to that woman!”

I chuckled. “I thought she was loving and tender?”

Pauli rolled his eyes. “She brought over elders…”

“From her church?”

Pauli nodded. “To lay hands one me and mumble a bunch of incoherent nonsense.”

“They were speaking in tongues?”

“They were speaking gibberish!”

I laughed. “They were trying to exorcise Kalfu?”

“That’s what I thought at first. But no. They were trying to exorcise the gay!”

“What?”

“Momma thinks I welcomed the devil by my sin. She thinks I contracted him like a case of the HIV or some shit. To get rid of him, we have to get to the source…”

“So she sent elders to speak in tongues over you?”

Pauli shook his head as he swung open the passenger door of my Camaro. I buckled myself in and took a sip of my mocha. “One of the elders was kind of cute. So I pinched his butt.”

I almost spit my mocha all over the steering wheel. I slapped my hand to my mouth to prevent it and quickly swallowed it down. “You did what?”

“He liked it. I could tell he was into me. My gaydar was going off from the moment he walked into the room. And honey, my gaydar is more accurate than a weatherman predicting wind in the middle of a hurricane.”

I rolled my eyes. “He was coming to try and exorcise your gayness. I doubt he was—”

“Honey! The most serious homophobes, the angriest ones, they aren’t mad at gay people. They’re mad at themselves. They project their hate of their own… cravings for the kielbasa… on those of us who are bold enough to embrace it.”

“Because you embrace the kielbasa?”

“Honey, I’m the kielbasa-eating champion, three years running.”

“I seriously hope there isn’t a competition for that.”

“Honey, not only is there a competition. But I’m on the Olympic team. I even have trophies to prove it.”

“And those trophies… are they shaped like…”

“You know it! True to life. They’ll double for the real thing in a pinch.”

I shook my head. “I really don’t want to know!”

“Sure you do, honey.”

“Well, I’m glad to see you’re acting more… yourself.”

“I made the demon my bitch. I could only listen to his rambles about death and destruction for so long before the diva rage came out. And he was no match!”

“The diva rage?”

“I told him to talk to the hand, ’cause this face ain’t listening.”

“You went 1990s diva just now. Totally my style.”

“Sashay, shantay!” Pauli attempted to mimic a twirl the best he could from the confines of my passenger seat.

“Work… work it, girl!”

“You know I always do.”

I smiled widely. “Really good to have you back. From now on, though, I’m calling you RuPauli.”

“Thank you, bitch!”

I laughed. He was probably the only person in the world who could call me that and make me laugh. For Pauli, it was a term of endearment.

“But could I ask a favor of you? I hesitate to ask after everything…”

“Your wish is my command, darling.”

I smiled. “You might want to hear what I’m asking first.”

Pauli shrugged. “Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?”

I scrunched my brow. “Isn’t that a Joker quote from that awful Batman movie?”

“Yes, the Michael Keaton one. It’s what the Joker says before he kills someone. Ignore the whole murderous context of it all. Just answer the question.”

“Nope, never danced with the devil at all, under any light.”

“Well, I have. I mean, he might not be the devil, but he’s close enough. Devil Junior. Or just Junior. That’s what I call him now. If I can handle this, I can handle whatever you want to lay on me.”

I nodded. “Fair enough. Mind breaking into a vampire’s den for me?”

Pauli’s jovial expression turned blank. “Are you serious?”

“As serious as I can be. My parents turned up missing from the manor, and we traced their GPS to a house that we think is inhabited by vamps.”

“And you and Isabelle couldn’t just unload a dose of bad-assery on them?”

“That’s the thing. The place is warded. It actively repels my aspect, Oggie’s aspect. And it only accepts those who have… an inclination toward vampirism.”

Pauli rolled his eyes. “So, because I have Kalfu bound to my soul, you think I can get past their magical defenses?”

I nodded. “Yeah. I mean, I’m pretty sure you can. And besides, you can ride your rainbow in and out of there so quick they won’t even know you were there. I’m not asking you to fight them or anything. I just need some intel.”

“Still dangerous. Vampires move fast. Faster than most humans.”

“But not as fast as you do,” I said.

Pauli nodded. “Then let’s go now. While we have daylight. Less likely to find any blood-sucking nasties lurking around in the daytime.”

“So you’ll do it?” I asked.

“My reasons are entirely selfish. I kind of think vampires are hot. I’m always suckered in by the bad boys.”

“Whatever,” I said, chuckling. “Not that I don’t relate… to the bad boys thing. But you realize that’s a total stereotype.”

“Girl, I’ve been stuck in my momma’s basement for the last few weeks. I binged all eight seasons of The Vampire Diaries. I know my vamps.”

“Funny how only hot people get turned into vampires in that show. It’s like sexy blood tastes better or something.”

“If you were a vampire and you had to drink people’s blood, wouldn’t you rather bite good-looking people?”

“Well, I suppose… but I’d be the vampire with a conscience. You know, the one who only bites criminals.”

“Even ugly ones?”

I shrugged. “If it makes the world a better place.”

“Honey, you clearly haven’t thought this one through! I mean, what if when you bit some of them you passed along the Loa’s aspect, which you might do… you never know. And what if you turned them? If you’re biting criminals, you’re basically creating super baddies. You should only bite good people… people more inclined to resist the evil!”

I chuckled. “You’ve given this way too much thought.”

“You forget that I have one of those nasty Loa inside of me, right now. How could I not think about the possibility that I might become one.”

I bit my lip. While we’d been jesting back and forth about the unrealistic behavior of television vampires, it hadn’t struck me that Pauli might actually be afraid he’d become one. In truth, it wasn’t beyond the realm of possibility. He’d been bitten. Then Kalfu possessed him on a bargain he’d made, foolishly, to try to save my ass. To be bitten by a vampire or a zombie could pass on the aspect that creates vampires. To be bitten by a Loa directly… that was practically a guarantee. But Baron Samedi’s powers had isolated Kalfu’s aspect in Pauli. Walled it off. Kalfu was trapped inside Pauli much in the way he’d been trapped in Papa Legba before. But if Kalfu eventually found a way to take over Legba, who was a super-powerful Loa, how long would it take before he could take over Pauli?

“Sorry, Pauli. I wasn’t thinking…”

“Pffft! I’m not afraid. I can’t be afraid! Fear is what gives darker Loa their power. The only thing to fear, honey, is fear itself. Totally cliché. But in my case, it’s my fucking creed.”

“So suck up your fears… forever. That’s your plan for keeping Kalfu in his place?”

“I don’t exactly have the luxury of alternatives, darling. The way I look at it is I’m lucky I didn’t end up living the rest of my life watching Kalfu use my body to bring hell on earth. I have a second chance to live. What’s left to fear?”

I shrugged. “Spiders? Snakes?”

“Spiders, maybe. But, honey, you forget… I’m College Aida-Wedo! I possess the aspect of rainbows and snakes. Snakes are my bitches.”