Chapter 9

 

Before I got into all this Voodoo stuff, exorcisms were something I did on the regular. A little zap from Isabelle’s magica and any low-level demons—who tend to be the most frequent ones involved in simple possessions—go crying their way back to daddy Satan. Now, while not talking about demons per se, I was taking a dude into Hell—Samhuinn, technically, but close enough—in order to get him possessed. You can’t make this kind of shit up.

I had to help Marie Laveau up from her chair and into the place she’d had prepared in the basement of the head shop—a place that was apparently a “cover” for her super secret Voodoo lair. No wonder no one knew where she was—the best way to hide was basically in plain sight. No one would expect the Queen of Vilokan and the Voodoo Queen of New Orleans to be holed up in a head shop of all places.

She’d already prepared an altar and the veve that would be used to summon Legba once we acquired Bondye’s consent—however that was supposed to happen—and Legba took his seat in whatever part of Chad’s body he was going to settle into. I wasn’t sure the anatomy of a possession. In truth, if I were to wager a guess, I’d say it’s in the blood. That’s why vampires drink blood, after all, because that’s where they get a taste of the soul. And Kalfu had acquired Samedi by biting Mercy, who’d bit Nico… the Loa’s presence passed along through blood.

“So I can get us there,” I said. “I just have to use my blade.”

The queen smiled widely. “Or I could use mine.”

I cocked my head a little.

“Bellum!” Marie Laveau said, and a blade remarkably similar to my own appeared in her hand. At least in terms of its magic. The red, white, and green glow—corresponding with fire, air, and earth elementals—danced on her blade much like it did mine. But what she held was like a small dagger, a dirk. I probably could have summoned Beli that way if I’d wanted, but who knows, maybe I’m just obsessed with size. I always wanted to summon him in all his massive glory. But it did strike me that a smaller soul blade, like the one Marie Laveau held, could accomplish something similar.

I scratched my head. “When I acquired Beli, Oggie told me he’d never seen anything like this before.”

“And Oggie did not,” Marie Laveau said. “His aspect is not the only one that permits one to call upon the elementals. Again, look at what we have in common, dear. I, too, was chosen by many elements at once.”

“And what is your aspect?” I asked, realizing as I said it that Marie Laveau was known to have many aspects. “The one that allowed you to access the elemental plane?”

“Papa Legba, himself,” Marie Laveau said.

“He gave you his aspect? I thought he never…”

“He only grants his aspect to queens.”

“So I will…”

“Once we succeed, you will be given yet another aspect. Correct me if I’m wrong, but to date you possess the aspects of Ogoun, Samedi, and Agwe, yes?”

I nodded.

Marie Laveau pressed her hands together. “A unique combination. One that grants you power on land, in the realm of the dead, and beneath the seas.”

“Sure. If I knew how to use them fully, perhaps.”

“With Legba’s aspect, you shall.”

“How so?”

“Best you experience it yourself, dear. Everyone’s relationship to their Loa is unique, personal, and profound. This is why not all who possess the same aspect manifest their Loa’s abilities in the same way.”

I nodded. It made sense. Mikah and I had very different abilities, but we both belonged to College Ogoun. Under Erzulie, I’d seen Ashley, Ellie, and Tressa all manifest completely different dimensions of the aspect of love. There were plenty of examples.

“I will simply say this: with Legba’s aspect, there are many powers one might draw upon. In my long life, in fact, I’ve only scratched the surface of what might have been possible. He is, after all, the guardian of the crossroads, the contact between the worlds of spirit and of flesh.”

“All right. So when I go in there, where am I supposed to go?”

Marie Laveau shrugged. “Every time I’ve journeyed there to retrieve a Loa, it has been a unique experience.”

“Into the unknown…”

Marie Laveau smirked. “If I still had my singing voice, I’d join you.”

“Frozen II? Isabelle is obsessed.”

“As well she should be! That Elsa can really belt out a tune.”

“For once I’d like to see Disney cast a tone-deaf princess. You know, just to give girls like me someone to relate to.”

“Not a singer?”

I shook my head. “I sound great in the shower. Or in my car, when I have the volume up all the way.”

“When you can’t actually hear yourself?”

“Exactly!”

Marie Laveau chuckled—it was the first time I’d seen her show something of her own personality, and I had to admit, she was more likable than I’d imagined. I figured after a century or so being revered as the Voodoo Queen of New Orleans, some of it would have gone to her head. She was surprisingly down to earth. I liked her enough that it suddenly dawned on me that I was sad she’d be dying—an emotion eclipsed only by my anxiety of assuming her position. How in the world was I ever going to come close to being the kind of leader she was?

“Chad, dear!” Marie Laveau shouted. “It’s time.”

“Just a minute,” Chad shouted back. “Finishing my burrito.”

I shook my head. Real winner, this one was. Stoner Chad was clearly operating on stoner time. No rush. All is chill, yo… even going to hell so I can let some ancient demigod take over my body… no biggie. Do they have a Taco Bell in hell, anyway? I had to admit the impression of Stoner Chad that I was entertaining in my head was every bit as dense, but twice as entertaining, as Stoner Chad in the flesh.

Finally I heard Chad open the door and make his way down the steps. Then he farted. “Ladies, you really shouldn’t do that when you’re around pretty boys like me.”

Marie—I felt comfortable calling her by her first name now that we’d shared an affinity for Disney princess musicals—and I exchanged glances. I shook my head.

“Whoever smelt it dealt it, ladies! Someone better fess up!”

I bit my cheek. “All right, Chad, here’s the deal…”

“Is that an admission? Annabelle farted, everyone!”

Isabelle was the only one laughing—not because Chad was funny. That couldn’t be it. But at the fact that I had to deal with this moron.

I cleared my throat even while Chad was pinching his nose and waving his hand in front of his face to disperse his own odor. “As I was saying, when we’re in there, you just stay close to me. No screwing around.”

“No screwing? Why go to Hell if you can’t screw?” Chad put his hand on my butt. He squeezed.

I quickly grabbed it, twisted his wrist, and brought him to his knees. “Touch me again, motherfucker, and I’ll snap your wrist in half.”

“Hey, owww… I was only kidding. Chill…”

“Har, har, har,” I mocked his laugh. “Let me just grab some ass in a kidding sort of way. Hil-arious.”

Marie raised her hand. “Chad, dear. Please control yourself. Samhuinn can be a dangerous place.”

“You really did snag the pick of the litter for this job, didn’t you?” I said to Marie as I sneered at Chad.

“When it comes to finding people willing to give up their bodies, even people who are terminally ill, beggars cannot afford to be choosers. I wish you luck, Annabelle.”

I knew when I got there I might have to face dragons—some not nearly as friendly as Beli. There’d be minotaurs, maybe even some demons. Insidious creatures I’d probably never even imagined. Now I had to add douchebag to the list of nasties I’d have to manage. At least this one had a rapidly approaching expiration date. Don’t get me wrong, sucks that the guy had a terminal illness. Any shred of empathy I might have had for him, though, flew out the window the moment he copped a feel. I can tolerate a lot of shit from guys—in spite of having attended a Catholic high school, I still had more than my fair share of encounters with creepers like Chad—but this dude was twice my age, and ignoring him completely wasn’t an option.

“Isabelle,” I muttered under my breath, “remind me to kick Chad in the balls just moments before Legba takes over. I want that to be the last experience he remembers in life.”

Harsh! Isabelle shot back.

“But deserved.”

Marie, overhearing my exchange with Isabelle, smirked even as she shook her head. “I believe I’ve chosen well.”

“For Legba’s host? You have to be kidding.”

“For my replacement, dear.”

“Ahh.” In truth, I wasn’t sure I agreed with her about that, either.