Chapter Twenty

A week later, Micah did one last set of bicep curls and returned the fifty-pound dumbbells to the rack. The chatter of his teammates echoed through the room. He’d come early, wanting to use the equipment and hang out with the guys. He became invigorated by the ancient right of male bonding over lifting metal disks.

Across the room, Garrett Kantra worked the crowd like he vied for prom king. As if the starting quarterback could be won via popularity contest. Micah had no problem proving his skill against Garrett on the field. The kid had a thing or two to learn yet, though. If only he’d shut his trap long enough to listen.

“Hey.” Kantra approached. “How’s that knee holding up?”

“Better than ever.” Micah wasn’t lying. Despite the small setback a few weeks ago, his knee felt strong. He crossed his arms over his chest.

“Cool. Good enough to compete for the starting job?” Kantra grinned.

“I’m not worried.”

“Man, you should be.” He took a step toward Micah. “I worked with some of the country's top athletic trainers during the off-season and hired a quarterback coach to help with technique. Just a heads up, you should watch your back.”

As the cocky jerk strutted away, Micah held his tongue. The kid could talk all he wanted—words were meaningless at game time.

Reagan Harrison waved him over to the bench press area. “Don’t let Kantra get under your skin. DeMarcus and I have big plans for him on media day.”

“Linebacker sandwich?” He fought a grin, knowing firsthand what the two linebackers were physically capable of but also had confidence in their professional integrity. They likely wouldn’t hurt him—much.

“Nothing too painful. We’ll keep him on his toes.” Reagan sat on one of the weight benches. “You ready for training camp next week?”

“More than ready.” He was eager to start but not ready to say goodbye to Alice. Time moved faster with each day. Over the past two weeks, he’d made some headway but not enough to convince her to fully commit.

Maybe Reagan would have an idea on how to win a cautious woman’s heart. Not so long ago, he’d been in a similar spot. “So, how were you sure Julie was…you know…the one?”

Reagan’s eyebrows arched almost to his hairline. “Say what?”

He didn’t want to raise his voice, so he stepped closer. “How did you know Julie was the one?”

A wide smile formed on Reagan’s sweaty face. “I’m not really sure. I got to a point where I didn’t want to live without her. I was willing to compromise on things I never saw myself giving up before. True love changes your perspective.”

Micah glanced around the weight room to see several guys moving closer, likely straining to listen in. He ignored them.

“Are you thinking about getting back with Cassidy?” Reagan’s smile dipped to a frown.

“That relationship is over.” He hadn’t heard from Cassidy since she’d left Timber Lake. She’d faded from his thoughts faster than he’d imagined.

“Then you have Alice on the brain.”

As several guys nearby whooped in reaction to Alice’s name, Micah flushed. “Can we talk somewhere more private?” Why had he asked for relationship advice in the weight room?

“Can’t. I need to finish these bench presses and get going. Julie asked me to come home right after my work-out and watch the kids. Spot me, okay?” Reagan lay on the bench and reached up to grasp hold of the bar with both hands. With a grunt, he lifted the three-hundred-fifty pound weighted bar and slowly lowered it to hover over his chest.

Micah stood above him, watching Reagan pound out reps without a grunt. “I want to make things work with Alice.” He waited for Reagan to finish before continuing. “If she refuses to commit, where does that leave me?”

Huffing, Reagan sat and rested his hands on his thighs. “I have one piece of advice. Don’t let her leave with things open-ended. Whatever her issues are, you can work on them together over time.”

Micah thought back to his rookie year—the year Reagan had been brought to his knees after a break-up with the one and only woman he’d ever loved. “Julie wasn’t very receptive to your advances at the beginning.”

“Not smart to bring that up.” Scowling, Reagan stood and slapped Micah on the back. “Go home, enjoy your time together, and don’t do anything stupid. Got it?”

“Yeah. Thanks.” Unfortunately, he excelled at being impulsive and rash.

After a quick shower, he’d head home to see what Alice was up to. And like Reagan suggested, try not to do anything stupid. Good luck with that.

****

“Stop shooting at me,” Alice yelled over the noise of the TV. While seated on the edge of the sofa cushion, she kept her gaze fixed on the flat screen. Her pulse quickened like she’d stepped into a real battle.

“Killing you is the object of the game.” As he speedily tapped the controller buttons, Micah’s body swayed.

Her current game strategy was failing, being she was only one shot away from death. Sending her avatar to the corner of a building, she waited for Micah’s to appear. When he finally showed himself, he ran full speed into her trap—bam, bam, bam.

His computer-generated avatar collapsed. “That’s cheating,” he yelled.

“I used a simple military strategy called the death trap.” Smiling, Alice set her controller on the sofa. “Never run into a situation you haven't secured first.” He stroked a hand up her leg, lingering over the scars and causing her to shiver.

“Good advice. I’ll remember for next time.” Micah leaned in for a kiss.

As her body charged with attraction, she heard the buzz of her phone set on the side table.

“Ignore it,” he whispered into her ear.

She checked the caller ID and stilled—Kate. “I have to take this.” She scooted away from the man who was in the process of short-circuiting her brain.

Blowing out a breath, Micah fell back on the sofa and started a new video game.

“Hey,” she answered. “What’s up?” Blasts of fake gunfire sounded from the TV.

“Are you alone?” Kate asked.

“Let me step outside.” She exited through a back patio door into the quiet night air. Moths buzzed around the porch lights, causing her to move toward the dark edge of the patio. “What’s going on?”

“Your dad came for a visit today. I don’t know how he found my address, but he threatened to drag Maddy back home.” Kate cleared her throat. “Joshua told him to leave. The kid is as stubborn as you. Anyway, I called the cops, but they couldn’t do anything since Josiah is their legal guardian.”

Alice’s stomach heaved, and she feared she’d throw up on Micah’s lawn. “They can’t go back with him.”

“They won’t. Don’t worry. I talked to a lawyer about having you named as legal guardian.”

“Getting them removed from their parents’ custody will be a legal nightmare.” Alice pictured years of red tape and heated with anger. Her brother and sister didn’t have that long.

“Your father asked about you, Alice. He said he’d leave Maddy and Joshua in your care and give them their birth certificates if he can talk to you.”

Slowly lowering herself onto a patio chair, she leaned over and clenched her roiling stomach. “I can’t.”

Kate blew out a breath. “You’re not sixteen anymore, and he’s an old man. He has no power over you.”

Yes, she’d faced more dangerous enemies but never one who scared her more to her core. “Why is he demanding to see me? I’ve been gone for years. I don’t understand why he cares.”

“He heard of what you’ve done in the Army,” Kate said. “I think deep down, he’s proud.”

The thought caused her to feel even sicker. “He feels nothing but contempt.” She could say the same of her feelings for him.

“He’s interested enough to come all the way to Santa Fe to harass Maddy and Joshua.”

Resignation settled over Alice like a toxic cloud. She was left with little choice. Either she faced her father or Maddy and Joshua were at risk. “I’ll come on two conditions. He only gets fifteen minutes and promises to leave them alone when we’re done.”

Kate sighed. “Can you be here tomorrow?”

“I’ll call and book my flight right after I end the call.” When would she finally be free from the nightmare her parents created? The thought of facing her father again, a man she hated more than the terrorists who’d planted the IED, made her want to scream. She clenched her fist, nails digging into the palm of her hand. “Tell the kids not to worry. I’m coming. Oh…and ask them to pack. I’m taking them when I leave.”

“Really? I thought you were still in Wisconsin with Micah.”

Sadly, not for much longer. “I am but only until the end of the week. I want the kids as far away from their father as possible.”

“You’re leaving Micah already? I thought you two were seeing each other…romantically.”

How could she explain the jumble of emotions Micah left in his wake? She did love him, probably too much. The strong feelings he stirred scared her. “Micah is a wonderful guy, but I’m not sure this relationship is a together-forever deal.”

“When will you finally stop running? I’m sorry, Alice, but I had the same upbringing you did and didn’t let my past emotionally cripple me. Marriage has been wonderful.”

She gritted her teeth, not feeling up to arguing with her cousin. “You are a loving, sweet person. I’m not. I’m better off alone.”

“Bull,” Kate said. “From what I saw of Micah at the retreat, he’s crazy about you and strong enough to stand up to you…a winning combination.”

“Are you done?” Wearing a reluctant grin, she rolled her eyes. Kate was right about Micah being strong enough to push through her stubbornness. Didn’t mean she’d admit the truth to anyone, especially Kate or Micah. “I have a flight to book.”

“You’re lucky I love you, dear cousin.” She made a few kissing noises. “Talk to you soon.”

Alice disconnected the call and set her phone on the patio table. How would she explain her sudden departure to Micah? I have to leave because my deranged father is threatening my brother and sister unless I agree to meet with him.

Her relationship with Micah had been going smoothly. He was kind and caring, without being too pushy. At times, she found herself wanting to throw caution to the wind and give up everything to be with him, but she was too well trained to act impulsively. As deeply as she cared for him, she couldn’t take that final step and fully trust him with her heart.

Slipping her phone in the back pocket of her shorts, she walked inside to find Micah still engaged in a video game. He pressed Pause and glanced at her as she approached. “Everything okay?”

“Not really.” She plopped next to him on the sofa. “Kate called. I need to fly out to Santa Fe tomorrow. I should be back the following day.”

“Why now? I only have you for a few more days.” Micah frowned.

“I just need to go.” She flinched at the harsh tone of her voice. Taking a deep breath, she focused her energy on remaining calm. The reason she was upset had nothing to do with the kind man sitting beside her. “It’s an emergency. I wouldn’t go if I didn’t have to.”

“What’s so important that you have to fly across the country?” He rested an arm around her shoulder and squeezed.

She couldn’t help but be distracted by his attractive mouth, which was so very close. Now was not the time for thoughts of making out. “I have to clean up a personal family matter.”

“After all the time we’ve spent together, you still don’t trust me.” Micah clenched his jaw, and the muscles on the side of his face twitched. He eased back on the sofa.

The accusation stung, likely due to the truth behind his words. “My keeping something private has nothing to do with trust.”

“I’ve done everything I know to make you understand how much I love you. I’d rather never again step on a football field than hurt you, but you continue to hold back.”

Deep sentiment flooded her heart. “You’re perfect. I’m the one with the problem.” Alice reached to take his hand, but he pulled away. The last thing she wanted was to hurt him.

“Seriously?” His brown eyes glistened.

Maybe with rage. Maybe with pain. Either way, she was the cause. Fighting the sting of tears, she closed her eyes. “I’m leaving for two days to take care of some family issues. I’m coming back.”

“Then in a few more days, you’ll move home, and then what?” The video game controller cracked in his tightening grip.

“You always knew I was leaving.” She reached across to brush a lock of brown hair off his forehead. “Why are you really upset?”

“I might not be a relationship expert, but I do know what we have together won’t survive without trust.”

She breathed in and out, slowing her racing heart. “I trust you.” The words flowed easily, not nearly as difficult as she feared. Shame still locked her tongue from telling him everything.

“Not enough to share your burdens.”

Her pulse kicked up again. “I’ve handled my business alone for a long time. I don’t know any other way.”

Kneeling in front of her, he stared straight into her eyes. “Why won’t you let me in?”

She knew what he wanted—when she’d finally let go of the last piece of herself, the part she’d held back out of fear. “I have to call and book my flight then go pack. Once I have everything set, I’ll let you know my schedule.”

Micah stood and exited the room without another word.

She was left struggling for breath. In protecting herself, she’d hurt him. Inside her chest, she ached with the shattered pieces of guilt and grief. They pierced her conscience as her mind and heart battled. Eventually, one would win, and she prayed his love was strong enough to demolish her fear.

****

How could you hold onto something you never had? Micah carried Alice’s suitcase out to the car and placed it in the trunk. After a brief kiss and stiff hug goodbye, he stood silently and watched her drive away. She hadn’t trusted him enough to share her latest family trouble. For Alice, her personal past was a deep vault very few were granted access. He’d been lucky to get a small glimpse inside when he’d met a part of her family at the retreat, and then again when she’d opened up about her polygamist upbringing.

Why couldn’t he be grateful for the offering, even if she still withheld a portion of herself? What she’d shared likely was more than she had with almost anyone else.

His Harley rested inside the garage, and he fought the urge to chase her down and apologize for pushing when he had no right to ask any more than she could give. Instead, he went inside the house and sat in front of his computer. He tried to focus on the latest emails from his agent. The Warriors were hosting a media day tomorrow, and his agent wanted him to be prepared for whatever questions reporters threw his way.

Carl also forwarded a written endorsement offer from a popular sports drink company. Blinking, he read the dollar amount several times. Amazing what companies paid for a popular athlete to endorse their product. Judging by the dollar size of the offer, he must be close to reclaiming his status as one of the leading quarterbacks in the league. In another month, he’d run out on the field and prove his worth.

His phone pinged with a text message from Alice.

—Sorry how I left things. I’ll call you tonight after my meeting, and I can tell you more about what’s going on—

He sat for several minutes with his fingers hovering over the screen of his phone.

—Have a safe flight. Miss you—

—Miss you, too. I care about you, more than you know—

His heart ached.

—All I know is you left without much of an explanation—

—Stop jumping to conclusions. You’re such a drama queen—

He laughed. Somehow, even when they fought, she found humor in every situation.

—Not being a drama queen—

—You’re the most handsome one I know. Plane’s boarding, got to go. Talk with you tonight—

He opened the photo tab on his phone and scrolled through the history. After looking through the pictures of his grandma at a Warriors’ game, he deleted a photo of him and Cassidy someone had taken at a New York fashion party.

Finally, he found what he was looking for—pictures from the retreat. He lingered over one of Alice, standing out among a group of male veterans. Another he’d taken of her one morning when he’d come to the gym and found her struggling to complete a pull-up. She’d strangle him if she knew he’d taken her picture, but he’d felt compelled to capture the sheer determination on her face.

The last picture saved on his phone was a selfie with Alice. Their faces were squished together to fill the screen. When he’d snapped the picture, she stuck out her tongue while he wore a huge grin.

Micah survived a rocky childhood, a season-ending injury, pain pill addiction, and Cassidy walking out on him. In the end, only Alice had the potential to fully break him, and the reality of how deeply he needed her terrified him. A deep tremor rumbled in his core, and his hands trembled.

Had Cassidy been right when she’d stated he traded one addiction for another? Was his love for Alice pure, or had he come to depend on her as a good-luck idol?

In less than a week, she’d leave for home, and he’d discover if their relationship was strong enough to survive or proved only a fleeting impression, washing away like a footprint in the sand.