Harold Monro

(1878–1932)

Officers’ Mess

Harold Monro

I search the room with all

    my mind,

Peering among those eyes;

For I am feverish to find

A brain with which my

    brain may talk,

Not that I think myself too

    wise,

But that I’m lonely, and I

    walk

Round the large place and

    wonder. No —

There’s nobody, I fear,

Lonely as I, and here.

How they hate me. I’m a

    fool:

I can’t play Bridge; I’m bad

    at pool;

I cannot drone a comic son;

I can’t talk shop; I can’t use

    slang;

My jokes are bad, my stories

    long;

My voice will falter, break

    or hang,

Not blurt the sour sarcastic

    word—

And so my swearing sounds

    absurd.

But came the talk: I found

Three or four others for an

    argument.

I forced their pace. They

    shifted their dull ground,

And went

Sprawling about the

    passages of thought.

We tugged each other’s

    words until they tore.

They asked me my

    philosophy: I brought

Bits of it forth and laid them

    on the floor.

They laughed, and so I

    kicked the bits about,

Then put them in my

    pocket one by one—

I sorry I had brought them

    out,

They grateful for the fun.

And when these words had

    thus been sent

Jerking about, like beetles

    round a wall,

Then one by one to dismal

    sleep we went.

There was no happiness at

    all

In that short hopeless

    argument

Through yawns and on the

    way to bed

Among men waiting to be

    dead.

—1916