‘YOUR family are amazing,’ Annie remarked to Hayden as she drove along the freeway, the Jaguar eating up the road with effortless ease. They’d not long passed through Albury/Wodonga and Annie was feeling comfortable behind the wheel. She laughed at the memory of his mother packing him a huge hamper of home-cooked food to take back with him. ‘They’re so…’ she searched for the word she wanted ‘…familyish.’
Hayden chuckled as he rested his head back and closed his eyes. ‘It was a good day.’
‘I don’t think Katrina’s husband’s going to sleep much—what with their seven-year-old daughter catching the bouquet.’
‘Ah, she’s gorgeous is my niece.’
‘She’ll break a lot of hearts when she’s older.’
He chuckled again. ‘I don’t envy my brother-in-law those headaches.’ He felt great. Since he’d spoken to Annie about Liana, he felt as though a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. She was a good listener and offered sound and logical advice when necessary. He valued her opinion, not only as a medical professional but as a friend.
‘This has been so great—getting away this weekend,’ she said jovially into the silence. ‘Away from the hospital. Away from prying eyes and gossiping tongues.’ Annie took a deep cleansing breath. ‘Time to spend getting to know each other more.’
‘Does this mean you’re going to tell me about your family?’
She shrugged. ‘There’s nothing much to tell. I’m an only child. My dad has never loved me because I wasn’t a boy and my step-mother, who is fifteen years older than me, is only interested in his money.’
‘And your mother?’
‘She died when I was twenty. We weren’t close.’
‘They didn’t try to have more children?’
‘My mum miscarried with ten pregnancies after me. The doctors advised her to have a hysterectomy and that, as they say, was that.’
‘Did your parents divorce?’
‘No, but they weren’t happily married either. After my mum died, my dad remarried within six months.’
‘Any children there?’
‘No. My step-mother went through IVF for years but in the end it all became too much for her and so they just stopped.’
‘You would think all of this would make your father appreciate the child he has.’
‘You would think that, but I wasn’t the child he wanted. Big difference.’
A mobile phone beeped, indicating a text message. ‘That’s my phone,’ Annie said. ‘It’s just inside my handbag, near the top, Hayden. Could you get it out and see who it’s from?’
He felt a little self-conscious going through her bag, but did as he was asked. ‘It’s from Kelly.’
‘Good.’
‘She wants to know how much further we have to go.’
‘Text her back and tell her we’ve just passed through Yackandandah.’
‘How do you spell that?’
Annie laughed and helped him out.
Moments later, another text came through. “Come directly to Bright hospital”,’ Hayden read.
‘Saddle up.’ Annie concentrated on the winding road. All too soon, she was driving through the main street of Bright.
‘That’s where Kelly and Matt live,’ she pointed out. ‘Their clinic is across the road.’
‘Handy.’
‘This way to the hospital.’ Another minute later, she’d parked the car outside the small district hospital and they quickly made their way inside.
‘Thank God you’re here,’ Kelly said when she sighted them. Hayden reached out a hand to introduce himself but received a ‘You must be Hayden’ from the redhead in front of him.
‘Correct.’
Kelly hefted a large emergency crate which was filled with medical equipment and motioned to the one next to her on the ground. ‘Would you mind taking that, please, Hayden?’ She walked off towards the car park. ‘We’ve just had a call. There’s been an accident at one of the vineyards on the road to Buckland. A couple of kids were playing around with tractors in a back paddock. Matt and Rhea, that’s Matt’s sister,’ she explained for Hayden’s benefit, ‘have gone down to see what’s happening. I’m expecting him to call through any moment now.’
She stopped by a four-wheel-drive and Annie quickly opened the tailgate. ‘You’ve both just been drafted. Let’s go.’
‘What details do you have?’ Hayden asked as Kelly drove.
‘Two males, both around fifteen. Both tractors overturned.’
‘Races?’ Annie asked.
‘Either that or playing chicken,’ Kelly replied disgustedly. ‘Parents heard a noise and went to investigate, then came back and raised the alarm. Both boys were reported unconscious and one was trapped—’ Her mobile phone, sitting in a hands-free holder, rang and she leaned down and pressed a button. ‘What’s the news?’ she asked.
Matt’s voice came through. ‘One trapped beneath the overturned cab of the tractor. Definitely fractured legs, possible pelvis. Both still unconscious. Are you in the car?’
‘Yes.’
‘We’re here, Matt,’ Annie replied.
‘Hey, mate. Sorry to do this to you.’
‘Not a problem. Any fractures on the second boy?’
‘Possible skull fracture. There’s blood on a nearby rock as well as his head, so I’d say they’ve connected at some point. Left shoulder’s badly banged up, too, but at least he was thrown clear. We’ll need the SES boys to get this tractor off the first boy, though.’
‘I’ll call it in,’ Kelly told her husband. ‘Be with you in about fifteen minutes.’
‘All right, honey. Drive safely.’
‘I will,’ she promised, love radiating through her tone before she disconnected the call. ‘He’s so cute,’ she told them both. She contacted the SES and gave them the details before glancing at Annie in her rear-view mirror. ‘So, let’s do the social thing while we have a moment. How’s Tash and Brenton?’
‘Good.’
‘The kids?’
‘They had a stomach virus a week or so ago, then Natasha got it—’
‘Then Annie got it,’ Hayden interjected.
‘Well, I hope you didn’t bring it with you because none of us have had it.’
‘No. I’m well and truly over it now.’
‘Good to hear. How was the wedding?’
‘It was lovely.’
‘Oh, my gosh. I’m such a cad. Happy birthday for yesterday, Annie. Sorry, this emergency has thrown everything out, but we have a cake and everything back home so, regardless of how long this emergency takes, you’re just going to have to stay and eat a piece.’
‘If you insist.’
‘I do. So the wedding was lovely? What did you end up wearing?’
Annie glanced at Hayden who was sitting in the front seat next to Kelly. Annie had insisted he sit in the front because he had longer legs and needed the room. ‘Well…Hayden actually bought me the most gorgeous dress as my birthday present. It’s just…stunning. I felt like a princess when I was wearing it.’
Kelly turned to look at Hayden and he felt himself squirm a little. ‘Natasha said I’d like you. Just keep being nice to our Annie and you’ll do just fine, Professor.’
‘Kelly has a strong Irish streak running through her. Don’t be too alarmed by it,’ Annie said.
‘You seem to know quite a lot about me,’ Hayden remarked.
‘I should hope so. We’re all very possessive of our darling friend, aren’t we, Annie? But if you think I’m bad…’ She laughed. ‘Just wait until you meet my sister-in-law.’
As they neared the accident site, the talk turned to the different scenarios they might find. By the time Kelly stopped the vehicle, everyone was ready for duty.
‘We’ve set up drips to stabilise them. The boy beneath the tractor, Gordon, has regained consciousness once or twice but he’s slipping in and out. He’s had morphine for the pain. Obs are stable. The second boy, Leo, is still out. His obs aren’t so good but I’ve called through to Wangaratta hospital and they’re sending an ambulance. Should be here in around twenty-five to thirty minutes. Rhea’s keeping a close eye on him.’ Hayden and Annie had helped Kelly unload the equipment and were pulling on gloves while Matt had been talking.
‘How are the parents holding up?’ Kelly asked.
‘Not too good, as you can imagine.’
‘I’ll talk to them,’ Kelly offered.
Annie walked across to where Gordon was, glad they still had about three hours left of light so she could see the undulating surface of the ground. ‘Gordon?’ she called as she checked his pupils. ‘My name’s Annie.’
‘I’m Hayden. Gordon, can you hear us?’
No response.
‘Pupils equal and reacting to light.’
‘Pulse isn’t settling down as much as I’d hoped,’ Matt commented.
‘BP is still quite low,’ Hayden said, after releasing the pressure on the sphygmomanometer. ‘If the femoral arteries have been severed, he’ll bleed to death if we don’t get him out a.s.a.p.’
‘We need to stabilise him, and fast,’ Annie agreed. She lay down on the ground and peered beneath the tractor to where Gordon’s legs were. ‘How long until the SES get here?’
‘I’ll check,’ Matt replied, and pulled out his mobile.
‘Let’s get a blood transfusion going, stat,’ Hayden said and they worked together, quickly setting up the unit of blood expander Kelly had brought with her from the hospital.
‘SES ETA—ten minutes.’
‘Good. Once the tractor’s off him, we’re going to have to move fast.’ Hayden and Annie discussed with Matt and Kelly the surgery they’d need to do. ‘We’ll need to repair those arteries immediately.’
‘They’ve already done enough damage,’ Kelly agreed.
‘I gather the staff at the hospital are organised?’ Hayden asked.
‘I called the anaesthetist in just before you arrived,’ Kelly confirmed.
Leaving Hayden to monitor Gordon, Annie went across to see how Rhea was getting on with Leo.
‘Howdy, stranger,’ Rhea said.
‘Hi. How’s he doing?’
‘He’s stable but he’ll definitely need a headscan.’ Rhea spoke softly so as not to panic Leo’s mother, who was close by talking to Kelly.
‘The concussion’s that bad?’ Annie asked, and after she’d changed her gloves, she felt Leo’s scalp. ‘Definite skull fracture.’
‘Ribs are fractured as well.’
Annie carefully felt around the front of Leo’s ribs. ‘Right T5 and 6 feel broken. Left T4, 5 and 6 don’t feel good,’ she remarked, as she tried to feel, but with the way Leo was lying, ensuring his airways were clear and accessible, she couldn’t tell for sure. ‘Let’s get another bag of saline going.’
With the sound of approaching vehicles, Annie sent up a silent prayer of thanks. That would be the SES crew. The sooner they had that wreck off Gordon the better. Matt gave the commands for the SES workers and about fifteen minutes later they were able to carefully move Gordon out from beneath.
‘It’s worse than I thought,’ Hayden mumbled to Annie as the stretcher was manoeuvred into the back of the SES vehicle, which was decked out to handle a medical stretcher. Gordon’s mother was now crying hysterically and Kelly was doing her best to calm the situation.
‘At least he’s in better shape to be anaesthetised than he was an hour ago,’ Annie added.
‘True. I think he’ll need to go to Melbourne for microsurgery.’
‘Let’s get him back to Bright hospital first.’ One of the SES workers drove them back to the hospital, passing the ambulance from Wangaratta on their way. ‘At least we know Leo will soon be on his way,’ she murmured.
Pulling into the hospital car park, two staff members helped them get Gordon inside. Hayden and Annie introduced themselves to the anaesthetist and the rest of the staff as they hurried towards Theatre.
Hayden gave a brief summary of Gordon’s situation, letting the anaesthetist know Matt had administered morphine before the anaesthetist set to work. Annie and Hayden scrubbed side by side, talking over techniques and possibilities.
‘He’ll need to be transferred to Melbourne once he’s stabilised,’ Hayden told the theatre sister. ‘Let’s get to work Dr Beresford.’
Gordon’s legs were in a bad way and their initial guess that the femoral artery in each leg had been damaged was confirmed. Hayden repaired them before calling for X-rays. As this was a small hospital, they didn’t have a portable machine, so Gordon was wheeled over to another room for the radiographs to be taken.
‘Three-dimensional scans would be preferable,’ he mumbled, as he held the processed film up to the light. ‘But for now these will do just fine.’
After the theatre was set up again, and Annie and Hayden had scrubbed once more, they set to work. With the femur being a long bone, there were several pieces which had been badly crushed beneath the tractor.
‘What I wouldn’t give for a vascular surgeon on tap,’ Annie said. She shook her head as they debrided the wound and stabilised the fracture with a G. and K. nail, as well as fixing the smaller fragments of bone back into place with wires, plates and screws. ‘It’s like a jig-saw puzzle.’
Once one leg was done, they started on the other. Both the tibia and fibula in Gordon’s left leg were also badly broken, but amazingly the lower bones of his right leg weren’t as severely damaged.
Kelly came into Theatre and was able to assist, reporting that Leo had been transferred to Wangaratta hospital and was being seen by both the neuro and spinal surgeons.
‘How are their parents?’
‘Gordon’s mother is in the waiting room and has settled down. Rhea’s gone to Wangaratta with Leo’s parents, and Matt’s stayed to help the SES guys get everything sorted out.’
‘What about the police?’ Hayden asked as they continued with their work.
‘Joe—that’s Rhea’s husband—is on his way out there now. He just had to wait for my in-laws to get back from their trip to Wodonga before he could leave the children. I’m not complaining because he was minding my children as well as his own.’
When the operation was over, Annie sat down in the small kitchenette and put her feet up on the chair opposite. The sun had well and truly set but at least Gordon was in a better position for recovery. When she’d first seen the damage to his left leg in particular, she’d been appalled. In fact, she’d wondered whether she and Hayden could actually save the leg, it was that bad. Thankfully, though, with Kelly’s assistance, Gordon was definitely doing much better.
‘Tired?’ Hayden asked as he sat down beside her, putting his feet up on the same chair as hers.
‘Exhausted, but feeling good.’
‘Me, too.’ He took her hand in his, turning it over as though he was searching carefully for something. He frowned in concentration and Annie felt a sense of foreboding. ‘You make me think, Annie.’ The words were said slowly and carefully. ‘You make me feel—and that’s something I haven’t honestly allowed myself to do for years with anyone not directly related to me.’
‘Ready for your party?’ Kelly bounced into the room, her tight red curls springing everywhere. Hayden dropped Annie’s hand and stood up, walking over to the bench. ‘The kids have decorated the house just for you, Annie, so dredge up some energy from somewhere and let’s get moving. Your patient is stable and, apart from some paperwork to cover the fact that you’ve operated as visiting surgeons at our hospital, you’re all done here.’ When neither of them moved, she added temptingly, ‘We have real coffee ready and waiting at home.’
Hayden turned and smiled at her. ‘Well, why didn’t you say so? Come on, Annie. Up and at ’em.’
As Hayden drove his Jaguar to Kelly’s and Matt’s house, Annie glanced surreptitiously at him, wondering if he was going to continue with their earlier conversation. She made him feel. Well, surely that was a good thing, wasn’t it?
The problem was that the drive from the hospital to her friends’ house was over and done with in a matter of minutes and soon they were inside, Annie being enveloped by the excited children. They all sang a rousing chorus of ‘Happy Birthday’, making Annie feel very loved and very special.
‘Blow out your candles, Annie,’ Lisa, Kelly’s eldest, squealed excitedly. ‘I counted them myself. There’s forty candles on there and they’re all just for you.’
Hayden laughed beside her and she turned to glare at him. ‘What are you laughing at? Hmm? You’re already forty.’
‘Forty-one,’ he clarified.
‘Well, there you go so keep quiet, old man.’ She turned her attention back to the abundant blaze before her. ‘I think I’m going to need some help.’
‘Great,’ Matt muttered good-naturedly. ‘Cake with spit.’
With help from the children around her, Annie blew out the candles on her cake, and when the little wax sticks had been removed, she laughed. ‘I don’t think there’s a part of this cake that doesn’t have a hole in it.’
An hour later fatigue was definitely starting to set in and she sat back in her chair and yawned.
‘Why don’t you stay the night?’ Kelly offered.
Annie smiled but shook her head. ‘We have a pelvic fracture operation tomorrow so we’d better get back.’
‘I like him, Annie.’
‘But?’ Annie could tell Kelly had something more to add.
‘But he seems to have a lot of issues to work through.’
‘He does.’ She watched Hayden talking to Matt on the other side of the room, glad both men were getting along.
‘I just don’t want to see you hurt again.’
‘It’s too late,’ Annie whispered.
Kelly gasped. ‘You’re in love with him?’
Annie nodded. ‘So, in fighting for Hayden, I have everything to gain and everything to lose.’
Kelly smiled at her friend. ‘True love always triumphs in the end.’
‘I sincerely hope so.’
During their late evening drive from Bright back to Geelong, Hayden didn’t say anything personal relating to himself or Annie. She forced herself to ignore it, thinking that surely it was a good thing she had made him feel again.
Instead, they talked quietly about an eclectic range of topics, enjoying the opinions expressed and once or twice agreeing to disagree. When they arrived back at their apartments Hayden stood like a statue outside his door, and after a brief pause offered Annie his hand.
Slowly, she placed hers in his and stared into his mesmerising blue eyes. ‘Thank you for a lovely weekend, Hayden.’
‘Thank you for protecting me from my family.’
She laughed. ‘I seriously doubt you needed protecting at all. Personally, I think you had a lot of unanswered questions about me, and that was your main motive for inviting me.’
Hayden smiled. ‘You did protect me, believe me you did.’
But at what cost? she thought, her heart bubbling over with love for him. ‘If you ever need protecting again…’ She took a small step closer, the atmosphere between them changing in that one instant. ‘You know where to find me.’
Hayden slowly nodded his head. With a muffled groan he tugged her into his embrace. His arms enfolded her to him and he bent his head to kiss her. His mouth was hungry and possessive against her own and she welcomed the invasion, desperately hoping he’d feel how much he meant to her.
She put everything into this kiss, knowing it would have to last her for quite a while. The closer they’d got to Geelong, the faster he’d started to withdraw. The weekend was over and it was definitely time to get back to reality. The problem Annie faced was that he was her reality.
His happiness, his tenderness, his vulnerability. Everything about Hayden was very real to her, and the more she got to know him, the stronger her love became. She was starting to need him the same way she needed air to breathe. Never had she felt this way. Never in all her forty years had she felt such an all-encompassing, soul-consuming love as she did for Hayden.
She threaded her fingers through his hair, holding his head firmly in place, never wanting him to leave her. The touch of his warm hands on her back, the way his thumbs moved in little circles, enticing her, bringing her entire body to life, were enough to make her forget all her sensibilities and throw caution to the wind.
Her body was on fire and as he groaned with agonising passion against her mouth, she knew he felt the same way.
‘How?’ He broke free and held her, placing small kisses against her neck. ‘How is it possible you make me forget myself? I can’t seem to get enough of you, Annie. No matter how many times I tell myself I’m never touching you again, I just can’t seem to stick to it.’
His breathing was harsh, his words raspy with desire. ‘I want you, Annie. So much that it’s starting to affect my logical reasoning.’
Annie couldn’t help it. A bubble of laughter rose up and she wasn’t able to clamp down on it. ‘Heaven forbid I interfere with your logical reasoning,’ she teased.
Hayden pulled back to look at her, desire still smouldering in his eyes. She reached up and kissed him on the lips. ‘You really know how to sweep a girl off her feet with pretty words.’
‘You’re laughing at me?’
‘No, Hayden. I’m laughing at the situation.’ She smoothed his hair back with her fingers. ‘You’re such a thoughtful man and I can see how you’d be struggling at the moment to try and figure out exactly what it is you feel for me. You like me, you want me…you need me.’ She knew she was pressing him but the time felt right and she’d learnt the hard way to follow her instincts so there was no way she was ignoring it this time around. Her future happiness depended on it.
‘The problem is that you need to have your emotions wrapped up into a nice little bundle with a label on it, and that’s understandable because you’ve been hurt in the past. So have I, but this time, Hayden, this time you need to let them flow.’
‘Why?’
He was withdrawing. If not physically, then mentally.
‘Because otherwise you risk lying to yourself.’ Annie broke the contact first and stepped away from him. ‘You were so relaxed in Sydney, more…yourself.’
Hayden took two steps back and shoved his hand impatiently through his hair. ‘I was allowed to kiss you in Sydney.’
Annie laughed. ‘True.’ She took a deep breath and plunged in. ‘So why don’t we try it?’
‘What? Kissing?’
‘Dating,’ she replied patiently. ‘That way you can kiss me whenever you like.’
Hayden took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. ‘Dating.’ He nodded. ‘You’re right. It would have its benefits…’
‘But?’ she prompted.
‘I don’t know, Annie. I don’t know whether I’m up or down, hot or cold. You’ve…you’ve turned my life upside down and inside out and I…’ He placed his hands on his hips. ‘I didn’t ask for that.’
‘Neither did I.’
Hayden looked over his shoulder, as though realising they were still standing in the corridor outside their apartments. ‘I don’t think this is the time or the place,’ he mumbled, picking up his bag.
‘OK.’ She’d lost him. She swallowed over the lump in her throat and dug deep in her handbag for her keys. ‘Sleep well and I’ll…’ She glanced down, desperate to get control over her emotions. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’ She forced a smile and, after finding her keys, unlocked her door, hefted up her bag and walked through. Instinct made her turn to see Hayden still standing in the corridor, watching her. ‘I had a really great time and thank you again for my birthday present.’ With that, she closed the door.
She leaned against it, fantasizing he would come to her, but even before she heard the sounds of him moving about in his apartment, she knew it was almost over. She hoped the pain would be swift and of short duration but look where hope had got her so far.
On wooden legs she walked to the phone and sat down in a chair while punching in Natasha’s phone number.
‘Sorry to call so late,’ she said, when her friend picked up the phone.
‘That’s OK, I was expecting it. Kelly called and told me about the emergency.’
‘Oh.’
‘She also told me you’ve fallen in love with Hayden.’
‘Yup.’ Annie closed her eyes, feeling the tears well up. ‘How stupid was that.’
Natasha’s chuckle turned into a sigh. ‘Pretty stupid, but take heart, Annie. It happens to the best of us.’ They talked a bit more about the weekend before Natasha asked, ‘So what’s next?’
‘I honestly don’t know.’ Annie’s breath hiccuped as she breathed in. ‘OK. I’m going to go to bed now.’
‘Hang in there, sweetie. Remember—we love you.’
Annie rang off but stayed where she was, unable to force her dejected body to move. He couldn’t kiss her like that and not feel anything—could he? He’d said that she made him feel, so she’d be almost willing to bet that he was either in the process of falling in love with her or, like herself, was already there.
How? How could she convince him this was the real deal and it was worth taking a chance? Forcing her legs to move, she picked up her bag and took it into her room. She unpacked, checking pockets for tissues and bits of paper before putting her clothes in the laundry basket.
If it turned out that Hayden wouldn’t come around, she had to have a plan to save her heart. She would have to transfer from the hospital because there was no way she could cope with working with him everyday, loving him as she did. She would have to find a different place to live because there was no way she could cope with living next door to him, loving him as she did.
She would pick up the pieces of her life, she would rely on her close friends to see her through and she would not only survive without him but she would succeed.
She had to. She just had to.
Otherwise…she was afraid she’d shrivel up and die inside.
He needed to concentrate.
He was due to be in Theatre fixing Mr Bouchard’s pelvic fracture with Annie standing across the table from him for the next four hours and he needed to concentrate. Yet every time he saw her, every time she looked at him, every time she walked by, her perfume would linger and entwine itself around him so completely he had trouble breathing.
‘You all right?’
Hayden’s eyes snapped open and he glanced at the woman who had put him in this quandary in the first place. ‘Yes.’
‘Didn’t sleep well?’
‘No.’ He continued scrubbing his hands and arms, preparing for the operation. How could he possibly escape Annie when he was so conscious of everything she did? They needed to talk. They needed to sort things out, but now was definitely not the time.
‘OK. I’m done.’ She elbowed off the taps and turned to the scrub nurse who would help her gown. The two women chatted idly while Hayden finished scrubbing. Annie appeared to be in good spirits so she obviously didn’t harbour any grudges against what he’d said…or more correctly hadn’t said last night.
She was different, really different from the women he’d dated in the past—and the opposite of Lonnie, which he’d soon come to realise. Now…Annie wanted to be with him. His first thought had been to jump at the chance. To be able to spend time with her without having to think up an excuse first. To be able to continue their amazing conversations. To be able to take her in his arms and kiss her.. any time he felt like it. Yes, he wanted to date her. Of course he wanted to date her, but he knew where she wanted it to end, and that was the problem.
He frowned, forcing all thoughts of Annie to the back of his mind. He shoved them into a box and firmly shut the lid. Compartmentalised. He walked into Theatre with the pelvic fracture surgery firmly in mind.
‘Could I have the X-rays up?’ he snapped, surprising more than the sister he spoke to.
‘Certainly, Hayden.’
He studied them before walking to the table. He got the nod from the anaesthetist and addressed his staff. ‘Mr Bouchard, a thirty-two-year-old male, received several fractures, including a left innominate and acetabular fracture, which is what we’re going to concentrate on today. I’ll be using open reduction and internal fixation, using two separate approaches—Kocher-Langebeck and ilio-inguinal. This will ensure we fix both the anterior and posterior bones of the pelvis. As none of you have performed this particular operation with me before, I suggest that if you have any questions, you ask instead of guessing.’
He forced his gaze to meet Annie’s. ‘I’m presuming you’ve assisted with pelvic fractures before?’
‘Yes, but feel free to talk me through it if you’d prefer.’
She was all business and he was glad to see it. It helped him keep everything in focus. ‘Right. I’ll be making an incision along the anterior two thirds of the iliac crest, continuing down to the midline only two fingerbreadths above the symphysis pubis.’ He held out his hand. ‘Scalpel.’
‘Scalpel,’ Annie repeated as she firmly placed the instrument into Hayden’s outstretched hand.
The anterior abdominal muscles were also incised from the iliac origin and the fracture exposed. ‘Stabilising with a three-hole plate and two-millimetre screws.’ Hayden held out his hand for the drill.
Once the fracture had been stabilised on the anterior side, the posterior approach was next. Hayden made another incision approximately sixteen centimetres along the proximal side of the femur toward the greater trochanter, angling slightly posteriorly to the iliac crest.
They fixed the fracture with one posterior interfragmentary screw and a small pelvic reconstruction plate.
‘Check X-ray, then close.’ He stepped away from the table as the portable X-ray machine was wheeled over. He much preferred the large hospitals where everything was on hand—the staff, the equipment. He thought about the surgery they’d performed in Bright yesterday—it seemed so long ago—and he had to admit he’d been a little worried about whether they’d be able to save the leg or not. Thankfully, they’d had a positive ending.
Hayden glanced at Annie. She was happy today. Smiling, laughing—the way she’d been on Saturday. Saturday—her birthday. She’d made him promise not to tell his mother or his sisters that it had been her birthday because she hadn’t wanted any fuss made.
‘It’s Rowena’s day,’ she’d told him firmly.
He watched her now, on the other side of the room, talking with the theatre sister, and the primal urge to stalk over there, rip off her mask and press his lips to hers was extremely hard to control. That would definitely get the tongues wagging in the hospital, but as quickly as the impulse came he squashed it.
Annie wanted marriage. Not only marriage but marriage and children. He shook his head. Dating her would have so many benefits—short-term benefits—but in the end he’d break her heart, and probably his own in the process.
He could feel himself falling for her—bigger, brighter and far better than anything he’d ever felt for Lonnie. Lonnie had been a mere infatuation compared to Annie. She was the real thing. If he left now, they’d both be in one piece, able to survive. If he dated her and then left…He shuddered. It wasn’t worth contemplating.
‘X-rays are ready, Hayden.’
He shoved his thoughts of Annie out of his mind again, determined she would stay there until the end of this operation. ‘On screen.’ He peered at the fracture sites and, well pleased with his handiwork, announced it was time to close. It would take at least half an hour to close in layers and then staple the large incisions but then he would be free of Annie for the rest of the day.
After the theatre session with Mr Bouchard, Annie finished off some paperwork, did a quick ward round and, as it was now almost eight o’clock in the evening, decided to head home. She packed some work to take with her, and as she came to the end of the ward, she looked down the corridor to where Hayden’s office was situated.
Was he there?
Knowing they needed to talk, she headed towards his office. She knew, even before she reached his door, that he would be in there. Of course he would be—he was avoiding her. She knocked and, without waiting for an answer, walked in. He looked up from the paperwork he was doing.
‘I knew I’d find you here.’ She smiled brightly, noting the look of pleasure, then pain, that quickly filtered across his face before being replaced by a non-emotional mask. ‘Doesn’t it seem like an age since we were in Sydney, rather than just yesterday?’
‘Yes,’ was all the reply she received. He put his pen down and leaned back in his chair. ‘Something wrong?’
‘With the patients? No, everything’s fine.’ She put her briefcase and handbag on the floor and sat in the chair opposite his desk.
‘What’s on your mind?’ He stretched his arms up and twisted his shoulders.
‘You.’
He stopped still before dropping his arms and getting to his feet. He started to pace the room and Annie tried to hide her smile. He was so adorable when he was agitated.
‘Annie…’ He stopped on the other side of the room and looked at her.
‘Hayden.’
He raked a hand through his hair and exhaled deeply. ‘This isn’t going to work.’
‘What?’ she asked innocently, knowing all along exactly what he was referring to.
‘Us. Dating. Seeing each other.’
‘And why not? Aren’t you attracted to me?’
‘You know I am. That’s part of the problem.’
Annie stood and walked towards him, slowly but with a firmness in her step. She stood before him and placed one hand on her heart and one on his. He was warm and alive beneath her touch and a shiver of anticipation burst through her. ‘Feel. Feel what you do to me. Feel what I do to you. This can’t be wrong, Hayden, because it feels so right. It is so right. I know this because…’ This was her moment of truth. She knew how he would react but she also knew that she had to tell him. ‘Because I’ve fallen in love with you.’
Hayden didn’t move.
His gaze was transfixed with hers and in that instant she felt the most complete connection with him. Slowly she placed her other hand on his chest before sliding both up and over his gorgeous broad shoulders. He was tense and she couldn’t blame him. Still, she could no more stop what she was doing now than she could stop falling in love with him.
Taking a small step, bringing their bodies into contact, she slid her hands around his neck, urging his head closer.
‘Can’t you feel my heart beating wildly?’ she whispered. ‘It beats for you and you alone, Hayden.’
His gaze flicked between her eyes and her mouth, reading the message of love in her brown depths and wanting the feel of her luscious pink lips on his own. He couldn’t believe it. Annie loved him. The knowledge was enough to make him want to whoop for joy, as well as run as fast as he could in the opposite direction.
He swallowed roughly and almost crumpled to the floor when she pressed her lips to his neck. Groaning with desire, Hayden dragged her body close, wrapping his arms about her.
‘Annie.’ Her name was thick with repressed passion and she loved the way it sounded coming from his lips. Turning her head, their lips met as though programmed to find each other under any circumstances.
Annie put everything she felt, everything from the depths of her soul into the kiss to show him just how much he had come to mean to her during the past few weeks. If he doubted her verbal declaration of love, surely this must convince him she was sincere.
He wanted her. His possessive mouth moved over hers, taking from her everything she was willing to give. He was selfish, he knew it, but he also knew he couldn’t help it. Annie was special. She was an incredible woman and one, he was sure, he would never grow tired of…and therein lay the problem.
A few ragged moments later Hayden forced his mouth from hers.
‘Hayden?’
‘Shh.’ Both were breathing hard. ‘Just let me hold you.’ Although that was his intention, her scent wound itself about him, making his head feel as though it were full of cotton wool. He was incapable of coherent thought where it pertained to Annie and how perfect she felt in his arms. He kissed her neck, her cheeks, her eyelids and finally her mouth once more, unable to resist her allurements.
He groaned again and with superhuman effort gently put her from him, his lips still pressed on hers until the arms’ length distance was too far for him to physically continue to kiss her.
‘We can’t.’
‘Hmm?’ Annie gazed up at him, her eyes filled with love. Why hadn’t he seen it before? He should never have taken her to Sydney with him…But he’d been unable to control the need to have her close, just as he’d been unable to stop himself from kissing her just now.
‘We can’t,’ he said more forcefully, and walked back to his desk. ‘Can’t you see? I’d break your heart.’
‘It’s too late, Hayden.’
Guilt swamped him.
‘It’s also not your fault,’ she replied. She took a deep breath and forced her legs to work. Putting one foot in front of the other, she walked back to the chair opposite his desk and sat. It was either that or fall down in a heap on the floor. Then again, wouldn’t that require him to help her up? He was her knight in shining armour after all. It would also be another excuse to have his arms around her. She giggled, dismayed with herself for not being a practised damsel in distress.
‘I’m a grown woman and I choose who I give my heart to. I love you. There’s no two ways about it and I will love you for the rest of my life.’
‘But you want to get married!’ His tone was insistent. ‘Have children!’
‘That’s right.’
‘Marriage isn’t me, Annie. I’ve been there. I’ve tried it and I’ve failed. My actions, my whole being was responsible for ruining three people’s lives. Mine, Lonnie’s and my daughter’s. I won’t be held responsible for ruining yours as well.’
‘So this is the reason you won’t date me,’ she stated logically. ‘Because I want to get married and you think you’ll ruin my life.’
‘Yes. Annie I’m sor—’
She held up her hand. ‘No, don’t. Please, don’t.’ After taking a deep, cleansing breath, she stood, glad her body was co-operating. She picked up her briefcase and handbag before walking around his desk and standing on tiptoe. ‘Goodbye, Hayden.’ She pressed a brief kiss on his lips then turned and walked out the door.
It was over.