“Tomorrow at nine. I’ll be there.” Natalie could barely contain her excitement as she hung up then pressed the internet icon on her phone to find a flight to Chicago. She tapped her fingernail on the screen while she waited and prayed out loud, “Thank You, Lord, for giving me this opportunity, and that the research farm let Claire take this week off in lieu of her annual bonus, so she can help Mom.” A popular travel site loaded. Wait until I tell Connor.
Her excitement dropped a notch as she thought about the open house yesterday and dress rehearsal for the pageant tonight. She brushed it off. The other day, Connor had sounded serious about considering the job offer he had from his friend in the Chicago area. And Andie could substitute for her tonight.
Yes. Her search showed an early evening flight from Burlington, Vermont, so she wouldn’t need to have someone drive her all of the way to Albany. And it wasn’t too outrageously expensive. Natalie calculated in her head whether the long-overdue security deposit refund she received last week from her last apartment’s management company would cover the cost. It was close. She punched in her debit card number and held her breath. The charge went through. She lifted a finger to call Connor and stopped. This was information better shared in person.
She made a quick explanation to her mother that she needed to run over to the church to talk with Connor, without saying why, and asked Claire if she could borrow her car. It was worth putting up with the knowing smiles she received from both of them. She wanted Connor to be the first to know. She flew out of the house and had to keep lifting her foot off the gas pedal to stay within the speed limit on the drive to the church. When she stopped the car in the parking lot, she waited a moment and breathed in and out a couple of times to contain her excitement. Then she hurried into the church and down the hall to Connor’s office. The door was shut, and she could hear the hum of voices. She shook her hands and paced the hall until she heard the turn of the doorknob.
“Thanks for bringing the van back,” Connor said. “Do you need a lift home?”
“No.” Tom Hill’s response came through the crack of the door. “Jack said he’d swing by on his way back from the hardware store in Schroon Lake. He should be here by now.”
Natalie hadn’t noticed anyone in the parking lot, but she’d been in such a rush to see Connor that she could have missed Jack’s truck sitting right in front of her.
“If he’s not there, come back in,” Connor said. “I’m here for another hour and don’t have any appointments scheduled.”
Tom pushed the door open and smiled hello when he saw Natalie. “Looks like you have an unscheduled one, though.”
“Hi, Tom,” she said. “Like Connor said, if Jack isn’t here, come back in. You won’t be interrupting. I just have some news I wanted to share.” She hoped her words sounded more gracious than she felt.
Tom grabbed his gloves from his coat pocket and pulled them on. “And Connor, you’ll let us know about—” He stopped. “That other matter we discussed.”
“I sure will,” Connor said.
They watched Tom walk down the hall and out the front door.
“I thought he’d never leave,” Connor said a minute later, when Tom didn’t return, echoing her thoughts. He motioned her into his office. “After you.”
She walked past him.
He followed and reached to close the door. “Uh, maybe I’d better leave the door open.”
“Don’t want to give your parishioners the wrong idea,” she teased.
“You are definitely not the wrong idea.”
Her heart pounded, either from the way his words warmed her or a fear that he’d change his mind once she told him her news. She didn’t want him to think she was choosing her career over him again. Maybe coming over had been a bad idea. Seeing Connor here in his office with Tom brought back the same doubt she’d had earlier when she’d thought about Connor and her at the open house. The last thing she wanted to see was that look of hurt in Connor’s eyes that was seared in her mind from the night she’d turned down his marriage proposal.
“So, what’s up?” He pulled the chair by his desk out for her. “Something about the pageant, or is this visit strictly social?”
The way he lifted his eyebrows with his last question evoked a nervous laugh from Natalie. “Actually, it’s about dress rehearsal tonight, and I have some news.”
Connor sat at his desk and leaned forward on his crossed arms, giving her his total attention.
She swallowed the lump in her throat. “I won’t be able to make practice.”
His eyes darkened.
Not the best start to sharing her good news.
“Is it your mother?” Concern laced his voice.
“No, Mom’s good. Let me start over. I got a call this morning from the station manager about the job my agent told me about. The manager was the news director when I was there before. Kirk and the former station manager are gone.” She searched his face for any change in his expression before continuing but didn’t see even a flicker in his eyes. “The manager invited me to audition in a reality-TV-like competition for a spot as their new ‘good news’ reporter, like I did at my last station.”
“And like we were talking about at the open house.”
She shifted in her chair at his mention of the open house. “Right.”
“That’s great,” he said, sounding genuinely happy for her.
Maybe he was seriously considering the job offer he had in the Chicago area, and she was worrying unnecessarily.
“But what does that have to do with the pageant?” he asked.
She drew a deep breath. “The station is holding the two-day audition blitz this week. The station management thinks the holiday season is the perfect time to introduce this new segment. My agent got me in just under the wire, probably only because the director knows me.” Her words tumbled out at a staccato rate. “I booked a flight for early this evening.”
“Oh.” He straightened in his chair.
“Practice should be fine. Andie can fill in for me like Jared did for you last practice. The choir is more than ready.”
He nodded. “When will you be back?”
“Late Friday, in plenty of time for the pageant Saturday evening.”
The look of relief that passed over Connor’s face flowed into her. She pushed back in her seat from the edge of the chair, where she’d worked herself to as she’d told Connor her plans.
“I’ll pick you up from the airport.”
“Making sure I don’t bail on you?”
“I do like having you where I can keep an eye on you.” He grinned.
Natalie breathed out slowly. His comic innuendo told her he was taking all of this okay. “I’m flying into Burlington, so you won’t have to drive so far. Dad’s taking me this evening.”
Connor’s cell phone dinged. He shut it down. “A calendar reminder. I’d invite you to catch some lunch with me, except I have a hospital visit in Saranac Lake and just enough time to get there.”
“I’ll take a rain check,” she said. “Work is work.”
His mouth curved down slightly, making her belatedly realize that Connor probably had many aspects of his job that he didn’t see as work. One of the many things that made him a good small-town pastor. She corrected herself. A good pastor period.
Natalie pushed the chair back from the desk and stood. She knew she shouldn’t ask about church business, but she couldn’t stop herself. Getting the right answer would help dispel the niggling doubt about Connor and her interview that his frown had brought back. “Don’t answer this if you can’t.”
He stood and wrinkled his forehead.
“Was the other matter Tom mentioned your contract renewal?” She shifted her weight from one foot to the other as she waited for Connor’s answer.
“No. In July, the church will be celebrating the two hundredth anniversary of the original church formed here in the old Hazardtown hamlet that Hazardtown Community Church evolved from. The administrative council would like to publish a church history for the celebration. Tom thinks that because I write sermons, I’m a good candidate to write the history.”
The way Connor leaned against the desk toward her gave him away. “You want to write it,” she said.
“Yeah.” He grinned and pushed away from the desk. “Although Becca might be a better choice.” He grabbed his coat from the coat tree. “Not that I want to get rid of you, but I have to leave. Want to come?”
She wavered. “I can’t. I have to get ready for tomorrow.”
He walked her to her car and gave her a quick peck. “Break a leg tomorrow, or whatever it is I’m supposed to say.”
“Thanks. I’ll call you.”
“You’d better.”
Natalie watched him walk to his car, wishing she could ride along with him for his hospital visit. She checked the car clock. There wouldn’t be enough time. On her drive home, she tried to rekindle her initial excitement about the interview in Chicago. But all she could think about was the church history Connor wanted to write for the celebration in July, when she might be back working in Chicago.
* * *
Natalie hadn’t called last night when she’d arrived in Chicago. He checked his cell phone again. Nor had she called this morning. He tossed the phone in his gym bag, shoved the bag in the locker and gave the combination lock a twirl. He’d thought about calling her but had refrained because she’d said she’d call. He didn’t want to make her feel pressured, possibly interfere with her audition. Nor did he want to let on how needy he was to hear her voice. He headed directly to a weight bench. Some serious bench presses might be just what he needed to take the edge off waiting to hear from her.
He threw on twenty more pounds than he usually lifted. Natalie had been right, the pageant dress rehearsal last night had gone okay with Andie filling in for her. He pressed up and groaned. But that didn’t mean that he wasn’t nervous about her being gone. He brought the weights down. He knew he was prejudiced, but Andie wouldn’t be as good at directing the choir. Nor was she as musically talented as Natalie, and not only in his opinion. If Natalie didn’t return in time for the pageant, he feared it could flop, which might affect the administrative council’s vote on his contract renewal. And he didn’t want to let down his fellow pastors. But he couldn’t build his life on fears—fears of the council not renewing his contract, fears that if he took his friend’s offer, he’d be accepting it for the wrong reasons, fears that Natalie would choose her work over him again. They each needed to do whatever God wanted them to do. Connor acknowledged to himself that he had to focus on what His direction was, not what Connor wanted it to be. With that decision, he pressed the weights up hard and fast.
“Hey, bro, you should have told me yesterday you were going to work out this morning. We could have come together.”
Connor let the weights slip down into the uprights with a bang. He sat up on the bench to face Josh. “I figured you’d be at work.”
“I had to take a ‘use it or lose it’ vacation day. The boss lady doesn’t like it if you don’t take at least a certain number of your earned vacation days, and I haven’t. I’m taking Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve, too.” He dropped his gym bag on the bench beside Connor. “You’d think Anne would appreciate that I’d rather be at work than take vacation.”
“News flash, Josh. There are more important things in life besides work.” Connor’s words resonated in his head. That’s what he needed to pray about, how to balance all of the important things in his life.
“Such as women? You and Natalie were looking pretty tight at the open house.”
For a split second, Connor considered confiding in his brother, but Josh’s leering grin put a stop to that thought. He couldn’t take his brother making fun of his feelings for Natalie. “Go change and I’ll run a couple of laps with you.”
“So I’m right.”
Josh’s look was thoughtful, rather than smug, and it almost made Connor wish he had opened up to him.
When Connor got back to Paradox Lake, he decided to check in with the church secretary to see how the pageant programs were coming before going home to work on his Christmas sermon. As soon as he pulled open the front door, he could hear the chatter of the day-care-center preschoolers in the church hall and Karen Hill’s voice.
“Everyone find a place at the table. We’re going to make a Christmas surprise for our mommies and daddies.”
He thought about Hope’s Christmas surprise for him. Ginger was settling in the house nicely, so nicely she hadn’t shown a bit of interest in going back outside. They’d come to a sort of truce about climbing the Christmas tree. She only climbed it when he wasn’t in the room to catch her. He’d made an appointment for the vet to check her out late this afternoon when Hope would be home from school, so she could come with him. Maybe he should ask the vet how well the cat would adapt to moving to Chicago. He’d heard cats didn’t relocate well. He walked into the small office that adjoined his.
“Pastor Connor.” Mary Hazard, the church secretary, scooped several pages off the printer and turned them print side down on the desk. “I didn’t know you’d be in your office today.”
Obviously. What could she be printing that she didn’t want him to see?
“You usually don’t have office hours on Wednesdays,” she stammered.
“I was out and decided to stop in to see if you had the pageant program done. Is that it?” He pointed at the pages she’d taken from the printer.
“No, the program’s right here.” Mary picked up a sheet from the other side of the desk and moved so she was blocking his view of the pages she’d taken from the printer.
He took the offered paper and reviewed it, uncomfortable with Mary’s secretive behavior. “This looks great.”
“Thanks,” Mary said. “I’ve got all the other church work done. I can run the program over to the printer if you want. I’m going into Ticonderoga this afternoon anyway.”
Her gaze darted to the doorway, as if she was waiting for someone. Had she been using church supplies to print something for someone else? That didn’t sound like Mary. Maybe it was something for herself and she’d brought her own paper. But why hide it? She volunteered her time as secretary, so no one would begrudge her using the printer.
“I’d appreciate it.” He handed the program back to her.
Mary looked from him to the door.
Waiting for him to leave? Still bothered by her actions, he opened his mouth to ask. The sound of the church’s heavy wooden front door opening and closing, followed by footsteps in the hall, stopped him. He waited to see who it was.
“Pastor Connor.” Tom Hall stopped short in the doorway. “I didn’t expect to see you here today.”
A man could get a complex here.
“But since you are, let’s go in your office.”
Mary handed Tom her “secret” sheets as the two men passed by her to enter Connor’s office.
“Have a seat,” Connor said, unease warring with his curiosity about what was going on. Tom was the chairman of the administrative council. Had Mary been nervous because she knew something he didn’t want to hear?
Tom slipped into the chair and placed the pages on the desk. “I could have told you yesterday, but I wanted to have it all official first.”
The word official made Connor think this had to be about his contract renewal. Tom’s expression didn’t give him a clue as to what he was going to say about it, though. Connor sat opposite Tom and tapped his toe under the desk as he waited for the man to speak.
“At the council meeting Monday night, we voted unanimously to offer you a three-year contract, effective January 31. It’s all here.” Tom pushed the contract across the desk.
Connor flattened his foot to the floor with a slap. “For real?” he asked, not caring that his question didn’t sound very professional.
Tom nodded. “Some of the council members got wind that you have another offer elsewhere.”
He hadn’t shared that information with anyone other than Natalie. Claire... Claire was on the council. Nat must have told her. For once, he was thankful for the church grapevine.
“The possibility that you might leave us brought the couple of members who aren’t your biggest fans into line.” Tom dropped his voice. “Personally, I think those people like to oppose the pastor, whoever’s called to the position.”
“Thank you,” Connor said, the elation rushing through him making him unable to say more.
“Take your time. Read it over,” Tom said. “We realize how busy you are the next couple of weeks. We don’t need your answer until after the first of the New Year. I hope you do re-up with us, but I understand if your other offer is a better opportunity.”
The two men shook hands, and Tom left. Connor pumped his fist. A three-year contract. What could be better? He fell back into his chair.
A life with Natalie, who was in Chicago auditioning for the job she wanted.
* * *
Yesterday and today had reminded Natalie of how much she liked being in front of the camera. The exhilaration, the satisfaction of doing something she thought could make a difference, and doing it well. She was aligned with the station’s vision for the Good News segment, and the second part of her audition today had surpassed yesterday’s segment, even to her most exacting critic—herself. According to the viewer voting stats, she’d aced the competition last night. She couldn’t wait to see today’s film clip broadcast and her numbers tonight.
Natalie unlocked her hotel room and dropped her Chinese takeout on the desk, glad to be finished at the station for the day. While her on-camera performances had been a dream, working with the station staff had been more of a challenge. She’d had to get past the looks and block out the whispered comments about her and her former mentor, Kirk, that some of the news staff had made no effort to hide. The tension had been palpable at the obligatory kick-off viewing party last night, which began at the start of the six-thirty newscast and lasted through the eleven o’clock one.
Tonight she’d begged off the informal viewing get-together with a headache, a headache that had relieved itself by the time she’d walked to the nearby restaurant for her takeout. After removing her coat and kicking off her boots, she situated herself cross-legged on the bed with her food and cell phone. She’d barely gotten to talk with Connor yesterday before the viewing party, and he’d been very quiet through the whole call.
Thinking about it now, it was probably because she’d enthused on and on about her day and hadn’t let him get more than a word in at a time. Then she’d had to cut him off to go to the viewing. Tonight she had the whole evening free. Natalie opened her broccoli chicken and unlocked her phone to see a missed call from Connor a few minutes earlier. She’d had the phone on vibrate and must not have heard it buzz when she was walking back to the hotel.
Smiling in anticipation of hearing his voice, Natalie called him back.
“Hi,” he said, picking up after the first ring.
“Hi. Sorry I had to cut our call short yesterday.”
“I understand. Work is work.”
She tightened her grip on the phone at his repetition of the words she’d used the other day when he’d had to shorten their time together because of his hospital visit.
“Did the segment go as well today as yesterday?”
“Better. And my viewer votes for yesterday’s clip are phenomenal.”
“Great. When do you have to be to the viewing tonight?”
Her bite of chicken stuck in her throat. Had she picked up a tone of resentment in his voice, or was she being hypersensitive? “I don’t. I have the whole night free to talk about anything you want.”
The phone went silent, and she checked to make sure they hadn’t lost their connection.
“Unfortunately, I’m not free. I have to be at the church for the singles group Christmas party in a half hour.”
Was Connor saying that because she’d had to go to the viewing party yesterday? Her party was work. She snapped the lid back on her chicken, the throb of her returning headache knocking out her appetite. His commitment was work, too, but he was essentially his own boss. No one was making him go.
“I need to talk with you about something, though.”
“Sounds important.” She tried to keep her tone light.
“The administrative council offered me a new three-year contract.”
What little she’d eaten churned in her stomach. “Is it what you want?”
“I have until the beginning of January to decide.”
In her mind, Connor’s nonanswer was an answer. “The same as the offer for the assistant pastor position here.” She couldn’t stop herself from pointing it out.
“Yes. I’m still praying on it, but I’m feeling strongly that I’m supposed to stay at Hazardtown Community Church at least a while longer.”
“Oh.” Natalie knew he deserved more of a response, but she was at a loss what to say. She rubbed her temples.
“And, Nat.” His voice was barely audible. “I want you with me.”
The hotel room felt like it was closing in around her. “Are you asking me not to take the job here with the station if it’s offered to me?” She bit her lip, half of her hoping he’d say yes, so she wouldn’t have to make that decision herself, and the other half ready to accuse him of trying to get back at her by forcing her to choose between him and her career again.
“No. We have to take the path our Lord has for us. He may have a reason you’re supposed to be in Chicago and I’m supposed to be in Paradox Lake.”
The throbbing in her head increased.
“Nat, you still there?”
“Yes.”
“I’ve got to head out now. I love you,” he said under his breath before hanging up.
Not knowing or caring whether he’d actually said the words, she whispered, “I love you, too” into the dead phone.
She closed her eyes and bowed her head. “Thank You, Lord.” She finally had her answer.